Chapter 6 - Everything We Haven't Done, Part 2
A muffled voice was calling his name. But he didn't want to hear it. He was doing his best to shut it out, his eyes closing even tighter.
But he knew that he wouldn't be able to hold onto this moment much longer. Hermione was, after all, a lot more sensible than he was...
She pulled her lips away from his and he felt his mood drop instantly...
"Your mum," Hermione mumbled, her warm breath against his lips.
"Yeah," Ron grumbled as he opened his eyes, and Hermione grinned at him.
"We'd better go," Hermione added, stifling a giggle. Ron knew she was right, but gave her a pout anyway. She covered her mouth as she laughed.
"Fine," Ron said, turning and opening the door a crack to peer out. When he didn't see his mother on the porch as he had expected, he looked back in at Hermione and nodded. "All clear. Let's go."
Hermione was still trying not to laugh, which just made Ron smirk.
"Pull yourself together," he said through his grin.
"Your fault," Hermione replied, crossing her arms over her chest which only made Ron grin wider. She followed him out the shed door and he cautiously closed it behind him.
They made their way across the yard, walking very close together but not touching. Ron even put his hands in his pockets when he felt Hermione's hand brush against his wrist. It was too hard not to hold her hand when it was so close to his... and when he was even allowed to do it! But they hadn't told anyone about their new relationship, and for now, Ron thought it best to keep quiet, at least until he could talk it over with Hermione and decide what they should do...
When they reached the door, Ron opened it for her and she opened her mouth to thank him but was cut off by Ron's father who had moved quickly into the hall when he heard the door opening.
"Ron, Hermione," he began, his face a bit too solemn for Ron's liking. "We need to talk to you about Harry."
"What's happened?" Ron asked quickly, his pulse quickening as he noticed Hermione tensing up beside him.
"Nothing, nothing, come inside," and Mr. Weasley ushered them into the kitchen where they were surprised to find members of the Order, Aurors, and Ron's whole family gathered at the table.
"Ron, Hermione," Mrs. Weasley said, bustling over to them as they stepped up to the table. "Arthur," she added, turning towards her husband.
"We're going," said Mad Eye who sat at the far end of the table, "tonight, to bring Harry here, and we need your help."
Hermione and Ron's eyes widened.
"What can we do?" Hermione asked.
And for the next hour, the plan was explained in detail to everyone around the table. After, they ate in silence, then Ron and Hermione excused themselves to get their coats. On the walk up to Ginny's room, Hermione took Ron's hand.
"Ron," she said quietly. "Promise me you'll be careful..."
He nodded.
"You'll be there too," he said.
"But they're separating us when you leave with Tonks," Hermione added, her voice cracking just enough for Ron to notice.
They had reached Ginny's room, and Hermione stopped before going inside to turn and face Ron.
"It's going to be fine," Ron said reassuringly. "They've got a good plan."
"I just don't like not knowing where you are..." Hermione admitted.
"Yeah, I know," Ron said, giving her a half smile. "I'll probably be a lot more worried when we're actually there about to leave each other, but as long as we stick with the plan..." Ron seemed more nervous than he really wanted Hermione to pick up on, but she nodded and squeezed his hand. "Now you've got to promise you'll be careful too," Ron requested.
"I will," she smiled.
"Good." He leaned down and kissed her. "Gotta get my coat," he said as he separated from her and, with a glance back, he headed up the stairs two at a time towards his room. Hermione had the impression that he wanted to make it back down so fast that she wouldn't have time to even leave Ginny's room before he returned. The thought made her smile as she retrieved her own coat from the foot of her camp bed. And as she crossed the room towards the door again, Ron appeared in the doorway and grinned.
"Made it," he said, slightly out of breath, pulling her into a hug in one quick motion. She dropped her coat and squeezed him back, her eyes beginning to water. She tried to tell herself she was being ridiculous, but feeling his warmth as he held her, imagining how cold it would be on her way back to the Burrow without him... And she couldn't stop herself from imagining those things, no matter how hard she tried, no matter how many times she repeated in her head that it would be fine, that everything would be fine...
"Better go," she finally said, pulling away from him. He bent down immediately to pick up her coat and she felt her cheeks flush.
"Thanks," she said in a small voice.
"Any time," Ron whispered. He kissed her quickly before heading out the door. She followed closely behind him and took hold of his hand as they started down the stairs. On the last landing, she squeezed his hand tightly and he squeezed back before letting go.
"Ready?" asked Bill as they entered the kitchen. Everyone was waiting for them and they both nodded as they were ushered into the group and away from the Burrow...
Hermione was freezing. It was a summer night. It should not be this cold. But her arms were wrapped tightly around her body and she was staring up into the sky expectantly.
She had told herself not to panic, that he was fine. She had promised not to cry in front of Harry and Ginny... but right now, she was doing a fairly poor job of keeping that promise. Her eyes were blurred by tears and she had to wipe at them every few moments to avoid them spilling down her face and being seen by Ginny and Harry where they stood next Hermione, their eyes towards the sky as well.
Hermione found her thoughts betraying her as she stood staring up into the night. As much as she wanted to be strong, she felt herself losing control... it was as if all the regrets and missed moments of her life had piled up inside her and all she could do was review them endlessly, feeling hopeless and overwhelmed by all that it meant...
"No," she whispered to herself as she shook her head, trying to push those thoughts away as they came. She caught Ginny glancing sideways at her and did not turn to look at Ginny, hoping that she would turn back away, that she wouldn't see Hermione's tears...
"He'll be alright," Ginny whispered, her voice carrying softly on the night breeze, only to be heard by Hermione. And though Hermione hadn't wanted Ginny's comfort - hadn't wanted to be bothered or to have to even think about anything but standing here in this spot and watching the still, quiet sky - the moment Ginny spoke, even though her voice quavered with uncertainty, Hermione felt a bit of her worry edge away.
But minutes passed, and she could not stand to be here any longer, but there was also no way she would ever be able to move. She needed something to happen. She felt that if something didn't happen soon, she would die here just staring up into the sky, waiting...
And then, out of nowhere... It was almost as if her brain could not comprehend the change, that something was finally happening after what felt like years of waiting...
"It's them!" Hermione screamed, her eyes wide. Two brooms landed in the yard with a thud. Tonks ran for Lupin and then Ron was was heading towards them. Hermione could hardly believe he was there.
"You're okay," Ron mumbled as Hermione flung her arms around him.
"I thought... I thought..." Hermione started, trying not to let anyone see the tears that she was blinking furiously back.
"M' alright," said Ron as he patted Hermione's back. He wanted to kiss her, but then Tonks was talking, explaining to everyone what he had done during the fight...
Ron was standing by the stairs yawning. He glanced around the room, and, not finding Hermione anywhere, pulled Ginny aside as she walked past.
"Where's-" but Ginny cut him off, already knowing what he was about to ask before he asked it.
"She went upstairs a few minutes ago, kind of sneaked away."
Ron nodded and turned to head up without another word. He wondered if Hermione was in his room or Ginny's. His question was answered the moment he stepped onto the second landing. He heard a muffled sniff and a sob coming from beyond Ginny's partially closed bedroom door. He pushed the door open quietly and stared in at Hermione where she was lying on her camp bed on her side, her back towards the door. Light fell over her in a streak from the lantern in the hallway outside the now open door.
"Hey," Ron whispered as he walked over to the bed. He sat softly on the edge and noticed that Hermione had gone still and silent. He put his hand gently on her back and let his fingers run up her spine. She turned towards him after a brief moment, wiping her eyes and cheeks clean as she did so, and Ron wondered why she seemed intent on hiding her tears from him.
"You really scared me," she said with a forced chuckle.
"Sorry," Ron whispered. For some reason, he didn't want to raise his voice any further. It was odd, but it felt natural not to speak in a normal voice just now, though he didn't know why. "Was worried about you too," he added in that same quiet voice.
Hermione nodded and smiled weakly at him. Ron reached up to her cheek and ran a slightly trembling finger across a tear track. Her eyes fluttered shut automatically.
"Tired?" Ron whispered, and she nodded. "Me too."
He paused and just watched her breathing for moment before he spoke again.
"Everything's going to be bloody hard now isn't it," Ron said softly, almost to himself. "Now that Harry's here..."
"It's not his fault," Hermione said as she opened her eyes again.
"I know that," Ron replied, "but... don't get me wrong, I'm sodding thrilled that we're... together now..." he blushed slightly and Hermione smiled, "but now Harry's here and I don't know what to do, whether we should tell him or not... Oh, and then there's the fact that there's a bloody war going on all around us and we're pretty much as involved as you can get."
Hermione nodded, watching him as his eyes turned down to his hand where it was playing with a bit of the blanket near Hermione's right side.
"And, damn, I was really worried tonight. And you were too..." She nodded again and looked slightly away from him when his eyes returned to her face. "And this is just going to keep happening over and over again... who knows when it'll stop really... could be years."
Hermione blinked back another wave of tears, a bit upset with herself for being so emotional recently...
"Ron," she finally began, sniffing, "you know what I was thinking when I was waiting for you and Tonks to arrive?"
Ron shook his head slightly, urging her to go on.
"I was thinking about all the things I'd regret. I've never been so scared... except for last year when you were poisoned..."
Ron allowed his fingers to wander over a few inches to Hermione's hand and he gently covered it with his own.
"And after you were poisoned, when you were lying in the hospital wing, and even before that, when I wasn't sure if you were going to make it, I kept screaming inside my head, angry with myself for the things I never did, never told you. We had years together and I never bothered to tell you how I felt. And if you had died, I'd never get to tell you. Ever. I'd never get to... to kiss you, or... or to know if you felt anything for me in return... it was terrible."
"But now... well, we've kind of sorted all that out, haven't we?" Ron asked with a lopsided grin.
"But tonight," Hermione went on, "I had a whole new set of things that I'd just... I wanted to not feel that way, but there are just so many things we'd never have the chance to do..." She trailed off, blushing furiously and Ron furrowed his eyebrows.
"Like what?" he asked, curiously.
Hermione shrugged.
"Doesn't matter I guess," she mumbled.
A few things suddenly crossed Ron's mind and he blushed too, wondering if they were on the same page...
"Well..." he said softly. He cleared his throat. "We should make a list then."
"A list?" Hermione asked.
"Yeah. You write down all the things you want to do, things you'd regret if... you know... and then we'll just go down the list and do them all," Ron finished, grinning. Hermione laughed.
"Brilliant," she said as she adjusted her head on her pillow to get more comfortable. "Do you have a list in mind too?" she asked.
"Well, the first thing," Ron started, "would probably go something like this," and he slid into the bed on his stomach, part of his right side on top of Hermione's, his face pressed into the pillow just to Hermione's right, so close that she could feel each breath he let out against her cheek. She laughed, closing her eyes.
"But Ron, we've done this before. Twice."
"Maybe my list says we've got to do this four thousand times," Ron said, his grin still solidly in place.
"Only four thousand?" Hermione asked, raising her eyebrows and turning into him so they were lying face to face. Ron moved slightly onto his side so he could see her better.
"How about four million?"
"Better," Hermione said in a tone that indicated that she'd prefer an even larger number.
He smiled at her and they stayed there silently staring at each other for a long moment.
"You'll really stay... for a while?" Hermione asked tentatively.
"Course," Ron answered automatically. His arm moved around her waist and tightened so she was as close as she could get, their foreheads together on the pillow.
But just then, Ginny entered the room. Hermione moved back from Ron just enough to glance over him towards the door where Ginny was standing.
"Harry's gone to bed," Ginny said quietly.
"Ginny-" Hermione and Ron started at the same moment, but Ginny waved them off.
"It's okay. I understand. We were really worried about you, Ron," Ginny said. "Stay if you like." And she crossed her room to her bed, picked up her pyjamas, and exited the room again, crossing the landing to the bathroom.
"I heard her right, didn't I?" Ron asked in an awed sort of voice.
"I believe so, yeah," Hermione added, smiling.
"Well, that's just brilliant!" he exclaimed, smiling wide. "I should change." He jumped out of the bed suddenly. "Be right back."
He bolted out the door, and Hermione heard him bounding up the stairs. She wondered silently what he'd say to Harry if questioned about where he was headed in his pyjamas, but she was much too happy that he was staying in her bed for the night to really care in the slightest.
She jumped out of bed and locked Ginny's door, then changed quickly into her own pyjamas. When she opened the door again, she heard thunderous footsteps just outside as Ron ran down them, jumping the last few.
He appeared in the doorway grinning. Hermione took his hand, giggling slightly, and pulled him back to the bed where they toppled down and scooted close, sliding under the blanket and sheet and getting comfortable on their sides facing one another.
"What did you tell Harry?" Hermione asked, extremely curious.
"He was nearly asleep in his bed already. He sort of grunted at me and I said goodnight. That was about it."
"Worked out rather well I guess," Hermione said and Ron nodded. "Hope he's alright," she added.
"He'll be okay."
Hermione smiled and adjusted her head on the pillow. Ron reached for both of her hands and took them in both of his. He placed her hands on the sides of his face, then placed his own hands on the sides of her face and leaned in to kiss her. She pulled his head closer, and when their lips parted, their noses remained together. Hermione smiled and opened her eyes to find Ron's blues eyes so close that they almost merged into one eye.
"Mum used to call this owl eyes," Hermione said, still smiling.
"What?" Ron asked, looking slightly confused. "Being this close to each other?"
"Yeah, when your noses are touching. See how big and round my eyes are and how close together they look?"
"Yeah."
"Close your eyes," Hermione instructed. She waited for a moment... "Okay, open," she said, and the moment Ron's eyes had opened all the way, "hoo!" she said.
Ron grinned.
"What's that? An owl sound?"
"Of course," Hermione answered.
"That's probably the cutest thing I've ever heard of," he said, chuckling. Hermione's cheeks turned slightly pink, though Ron couldn't tell with his face still so close.
"I was probably six the last time I did that," Hermione said.
"Bet you were the cutest six year old ever then," Ron added.
"Oh no, don't you remember how awful my hair was?" Hermione asked disgustedly. "When I was eleven, it was about the same as when I was six. Imagine a six year old with hair that big. It was nearly a quarter of my body mass."
Ron laughed.
"It's still about an eighth I'd say," he joked.
Hermione rolled her eyes and moved back so she could look at Ron properly.
"Exactly my point."
"Mine too," Ron added and Hermione gave him a confused eyebrow raise. "It's sort of... well, amazing," Ron added for clarification.
Hermione scoffed at him.
"Oh, like you didn't know that..." Ron said, though his tone was slightly unsure.
"Right. And I guess you enjoy my study habits too then."
"Maybe," Ron said, giving her a cryptic shrug.
"Yeah..." Hermione replied sarcastically, chuckling.
Ron twirled a bit of Hermione's hair in his fingers.
"Let me have a piece to put in my pocket," he said.
"Why?" Hermione asked. "So you can make a Polyjuice potion?"
Ron raised his eyebrows, then blushed.
"What?" Hermione asked.
"Never thought about that before... kind of... well, the weirdest thing ever?"
"Turning into me?" Hermione asked, smiling.
"Yeah. Blows my mind a bit..."
"Yeah, me too actually," Hermione admitted, imaging what it would be like to literally have Ron's body for an hour. She shivered slightly.
"Maybe we need to add that to the list," Ron suggested jokingly.
Hermione laughed, but quieted down as Ginny entered the room again wearing her pyjamas.
"Goodnight," Ginny said softly as she climbed into her bed.
"Night," Ron and Hermione said at nearly the exact same time.
Ron moved slightly onto his back and Hermione settled against his side, her leg overlapping his and her hand resting on his chest. She buried her face in his neck and he tilted his head down so her hair was in his face. He kissed the top of her head and wrapped both of his arms tightly around her. He squeezed her against his side.
"Goodnight," he whispered into her hair. She replied, but her voice was so muffled against his shoulder that he could only assume she had said 'goodnight' back. Ron didn't want to fall asleep yet. He was enjoying being so close to her. It wasn't like he'd had much experience with this before. But before he even realized it, he had fallen into a deep and relatively peaceful slumber, his arms still clutching her tightly in his dreams.
