A/N Hi everyone! Let me start with big apologies for my two weeks' disappearance. Unfortunately, I can't promise the next couple of updates being posted regularly. The semester is slowly coming to an end and I'm snowed under with work. So, I'm asking you for a bit of indulgence and patience. I'll try to post the next chapter next weekend but I again I can't promise. I'm going to visit my friends out of town before the exam session so I'm not sure I'll have the time to write down the update as I only have it in drafts.
But let's get on with the story. This update is taking place the following day after the last chapter. Good news is that it's even longer than the last time.
The beautiful lyrics of the song belong to Tegan and Sara.
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Since he woke up that day, Derek was haunted with a feeling that everything was somehow out of place. To begin with, for the first time in years he slept at Meredith's house. Strangely enough, he didn't spend the night with her. Sure, he used to sneak out of her room to avoid snoring but never with the purpose of not being with her. Untangling himself from her tempting body had been the gruesome extreme but yesterday, he deliberately averted intimacy with her and man, it was hard, literally.
She brought him his clothes; clothes she didn't dispose of all these years. She didn't chuck them away when the things between them turned sour, before her flight from Seattle. She didn't throw them to the bin when she cleaned the house after her return. She washed them and put them back into her dresser like some clingy ex-girlfriend Meredith never was. Or like she had expected him to come and use them one day.
At the moment, he was at the hospital; his place of work for years now, place at which he spent years without Meredith and Bessie around, and that place seemed oddly empty without them today. It would be great with Meredith back at work and Bessie at the daycare.
Then, there was his fellow surgeon, Owen Hunt, standing at his side on the rooftop waiting for a helicopter to land. Major Owen Hunt, a solid just man who almost strangled his girlfriend in his sleep. It must have been bad judging by the fact that Yang seemed to lose her usual sass and was wearing a turtleneck sweater under her scrubs.
Derek hunched resisting the gusts if air caused by the rotating propellers of the helicopter. He prepared himself to run up to the patient and glanced at Owen. He was standing up straight, staring fixedly ahead.
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Derek found Hunt sitting dejectedly on a bench near the ambulance drive. He walked up to him cautiously searching for appropriate words to initiate the conversation, he could lend him a helping hand. Owen was now a member of their team, even if they sometimes disagreed over the courses of treatment for their patients. Furthermore, the whole situation with Yang left Meredith deeply unsettled.
"You know, they're doing tests," said Derek sitting beside the red haired man, "that show altered brain anatomy in patients with PTSD. They're actually getting close to understanding the physiological side of psychological trauma. It's amazing what you can see with an MRI."
Owen sighed and asked, "What did Meredith tell you about last night? What did she say?"
"Post traumatic stress is a real injury, Owen," continued Derek. "It can be healed. There are resources – vet centres, therapy… You shouldn't try and handle this on your own."
"I came back in one piece," replied Owen staring at his hands. "I have both arms, both legs. Lots of guys came back with real injuries. If the worst I have is a couple of nightmares or… or freezing for a moment-"
"Is that what happened last night?" pressed Derek. "You had a freezing moment? If you want, I can help."
"Oh, yeah?" shot Owen sarcastically, standing up. "I'm not the one who needs help around here. I'm not the one who half this hospital is talking about behind their back. So maybe you should spend a little less time worrying about me."
Derek leaned back on the bench letting out a heavy breath. Owen's remark lit a spark of irritation deep inside him. He thought with sarcasm that it wasn't half the hospital talking about him behind his back, it was the whole hospital. That was why he didn't press Owen or answer him back. Actually, he was being reserved with his reactions to everyone, especially Meredith.
The complexity of feelings he held for her surpassed human cognition. Most of the time, he wanted her, he desired her. Yet, there were moments, little things, that triggered anger he found difficult to control. He didn't want those bad feelings but they seemed to be beyond his willpower. He did manage, though, to be at his best behavior, if not for their sanity, then for Bessie's sake.
Derek quickly noticed that she detected Meredith's moods without mistake. She even started to pick up his. He certainly would never forget the afternoon when he came to Bessie's room, having scrubbed out of an unsuccessful surgery minutes earlier. His baby daughter noticed that the tone of his voice was more subdued or that his smile wasn't as wide as usual. She climbed into his lap to plant a little kiss on his cheek, hugged him and murmured "Daddy, no be sad!" A part of him belonged to the happiest man alive, while the second one became even more sadder. He was grateful to Meredith for giving him their child and furious for taking two precious years of her life away.
How he craved to wake up one day without the bitter thoughts racing in his mind and hoped for his life to get simpler. For a few hours it was going to be, he thought somberly glancing at his beeping pager. There were only two options in the OR, life or death.
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Meredith spent what could be called a typical ordinary housewifey day. She woke up, pulled away the blinds, prepared a healthy breakfast for her daughter, fed the said daughter, cleaned the kitchen, took her angel for a short walk in the garden and read an article in a neurology journal during the nap time.
As the hours went by, though, she was getting more and more desperate. Derek had left in the early morning without as much as a note. Would he call her or should she? Would he come over to tuck Bessie in to sleep and read her a story?
Then there was Cristina, whom Meredith did call multiple times but who didn't call back. Meredith wouldn't get rid of the image apparently imprinted in her mind. She imagined a pair of large hands closing around her person's neck, leaving awful welts.
"Damn, Cristina!" groaned Meredith under her breath, shutting her cell phone. She wasn't answering, probably trying to avoid the subject of the previous night's events coming up. The problem was that it wasn't the only topic Meredith needed to discuss. Susan's invitation weighed heavily on her mind. She could ignore it. But why did it feel so… immature? Screw it! She took her resolve looking at clock, she had two hours.
She moved towards the table where Bessie was scribbling with her hands red, green and blue from the wax crayons. Meredith passed a hand affectionately through her curly locks and sat beside her. It was going to be a grand day for her Cherry-pie as well. She prayed with all her might that she wasn't making a mistake letting Thatcher and his family into Bessie's life.
"Hmm," Meredith grinned at her little angel, her messy hands and cheeks. "I think someone needs a bath."
"Mhh-mhh" Bessie shook her head sending her shiny curls flying. "Me drawing, Mommy!"
"You can finish your picture later, sweetie," said Meredith, putting the crayons into a box. "We're going out."
"Mommy, now please!" squeaked Bessie clinging to the piece of paper she was colouring, scrunching her face. "Must finish now so Daddy come!"
"Oh sweetie, it's for Daddy?" asked Meredith, shifting her eyes from the picture to Bessie's round eyes. "You want to see Daddy?"
Bessie nodded vigorously. "So must finish picture," she said with a small voice.
"Bessie" sighed Meredith. "Daddy will come anyway. Daddy loves you."
"He loves?" she inquired insecurely.
Meredith kneeled beside her chair and pulled her into a tight hug.
"He loves you very very much," she murmured nuzzling her nose in her hair. "You're his world."
"Daddy will comes?"
"Of course Daddy will come," she assured her. Even if dragging his ass over here will be the last thing I do, she added in her thoughts.
"But first," she breathed out. "We're going to see grandpa."
"Grandpa!" cried Bessie, fidgeting eagerly. "Grandpa James!"
"Not Grandpa James," Meredith shook her head.
"Not?" Bessie frowned in incomprehension.
"Grandpa James is overseas," she explained. "We're going to see your other grandpa. Your… " Meredith cut off before the words real grandpa rolled off her tongue. Her family connections were too complicated even for her to grasp, and what about a two-year-old. "Your grandpa Thatcher. He's my Daddy and Auntie Lexie's Daddy."
Bessie bit her lip slightly, thinking deeply. Meredith laughed at her concentrated expression and lifted her into her arms, "Bath time."
"Picture!" Bessie tried to wriggle out from her mother's embrace.
"Yes, picture. We'll take it to Grandpa's, ok?"
She marched upstairs making a mental note to call Derek.
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Derek donned his lab coat and checked his blackberry to see that Meredith had tried to call him during his surgery. He pushed the button and proceeded to listen to her voice message.
"Hi, how are you today? We… uhm… Bessie and me are good. She's bursting with energy, running or playing or drawing all the time and not very willing to take naps," she giggled softly. "Yeah, she's making up for all the time she was bound to the hospital bed. Anyway, I'm calling… I'm calling to tell you that we're going out. We're…. having dinner with," deep breath, "with Thatcher and Susan… and Lexie… and Molly and Eric… yeah…" she trailed off and Derek was able to discern a muffled oh my God, clearly she was freaking out. Although, seconds later she was back, she cleared her throat and said, "Yeah, so, the dinner's at six, so we're walking out of the house right now. Don't know when we'll be back… probably we won't be staying long… so… you can come later… to tuck her to bed. Er.. you should… you really should come… Bessie wants to see you, she misses you… so," Meredith's voice took a bossy note, "just come over. See you later… Uhmm… it was Meredith, by the way. Though, you probably figured that out by now. So… I'm just gonna disconnect."
Derek frowned slipping his cell to the pocket of his coat, directing himself towards the elevators. Meredith hadn't said a word that she kept in touch with Thatcher and Susan. Well, it wasn't exactly like he asked her. He admitted guiltily that thanks to him, their communication was limited to an absolute minimum.
"Why the frown, my friend?" asked cheerfully Mark, joining his side. "Trouble in paradise?"
"I don't even know what that means," Derek rolled his eyes.
"Your cute kid is finally out of hospital, you've got a beautiful woman at your beck and call."
Mark's grin faded as studied Derek frustrated face. "Derek? Talk to me, man."
"I spent lat night at Meredith's," sighed Derek heavily as they strode the corridor.
"Damn," spat Mark. "50 bucks… I mean… uhm.. that's great, man… er… about time, I'd say…" he finished lamely.
"Right," snarled Derek. "What's your bet? Or you know what? I don't want to hear it."
"Uhm, sorry," said Mark showing enough decency as to put up a guilty face. "You might feel better to know that I lost spectacularly. It took you two times quicker to score a sleepover than I thought."
"Exactly, this was just a sleepover," grunted Derek.
"No horizontal salsa?" Mark brought his eyebrows together in surprise.
"No salsa, no mambo, no anything," answered Derek dryly. "You can stop worrying about the state of your wallet."
"Are you guys back together or not?" asked Mark straightforwardly.
Derek chose to remain silent and pushed the elevator button repeatedly.
"Come on, spill," insisted Mark. "You have no idea how this situation's stressing me out."
"This situation's stressing you out?" repeated Derek sarcastically facing Mark with his hands on his hips. "That's a good one."
"Seriously," argued Mark. "Watching you moping around the hospital is plain depressing. Besides," he eyed his best friend warily, "I hate lying to your mom."
"What?!"
"She called me a couple of days ago," admitted Mark, shuffling his feet. "She complained you'd been avoiding her calls, brushing her off…"
"What did you tell her?" demanded nervously Derek.
"Nothing," shrugged Mark. "Apparently, you haven't either."
"That doesn't look good," Derek raked his hair. "Just don't tell her anything. Can you imagine what would happen if someone from the family got the wind of Bessie?"
"Oh, yeah," chuckled Mark. "I can already see the string of sisters, their husbands, their kids, all your aunties and uncles Shepherd with your mom on the lead to see little Derbear's first baby."
"I hate you!"
"You love me," quipped Mark.
"You see for yourself I can't let them walk into this mess."
"That just about answers my previous question."
"You make it sound so simple," Derek shook his head. "As if I could say forgive you and all would be bright and shiny."
"Maybe it would be a good start," advised cautiously Mark.
"Meredith left me with Bessie last night," explained Derek tiredly, turning towards the elevator doors as they heard the signal, "alone, for several hours while she went to Yang. I was scared out of my wits."
Mark looked at him questioningly.
"I love my daughter," he stated simply. "I love my daughter and there's nothing that would pull me away from her. But I feel like I'm walking around blind. I want to be there for her but I don't know how."
"Isn't Meredith helping you?"
"She is, she says I'm doing great," Derek sounded somehow annoyed, "but it's just so easy for her to say that. She's been in it since the beginning. Whereas one day, I learn that I have a child and I find myself in the middle of it all, deciding on what she can play with without the risk of her choking to death, making sure that her exploring won't lead to any accidents, disciplining her, marking mywords so she doesn't repeat any idiotic things I might say, potty training… I'm… I'm not ready," he ranted with frustration.
"So," smirked Mark as the door of the elevator opened and they stepped into the crowded tiny space, "you can't be with the woman you love because you're not ready for the potty training?"
Derek ignored the muffled giggles that sounded behind their backs and scowled at his friend.
"I can't be with Meredith because she didn't give me time any normal parent had to prepare themselves," whispered Derek so that only Mark could hear him.
"And now you're what? Punishing her?"
"Not punishing her," disagreed Derek under his breath, "figuring out how to be a father."
Mercifully, the elevator reached their level and they spilled outside along with other occupants.
"Meredith is complicated. Being with her is complicated. I can't be doing both things at once or someone gets hurt in the process. And that someone is Bessie."
"So what exactly are you going to do?" frowned Mark. "Stay away from her?"
"I don't think that's really possible," sighed Derek. "Besides, I don't want to. God, I was a step from tearing her clothes off yesterday… But I'll be taking it slow. One step at a time. No sudden moves."
"Hate to break it to you," began Mark skeptically, "but that was your original plan of action. And it flew out of the window first chance you got her on your own."
"Thanks for support," said Derek feigning hurt while walking past the nurses' station. "It means a world to me."
"You're done for today?" asked Mark. "Going to Joe's would do you good."
"Can't," replied Derek, reaching for his phone as if waiting for Meredith to call. "Sorry."
"That's fine. I get it. Your family's waiting for you."
"Actually, Meredith's having dinner with her father and stepmother but I want to be at her place when she gets back. She might need someone to freak out to."
Mark watched with amusement as Derek marched to his office. That is why I don't do relationships. All the drama…
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Meredith's car slowly rolled down the street surrounded by two rows of neatly maintained houses. Finally, she spotted the number she was looking for and with a wildly beating heart pulled up between two other cars. Apparently, everybody else was already in. She'd be the last to arrive, gawked at from every angle. And she wasn't even late!
She freed Bessie from her seat, grabbed her bag with and walked up to the house. She could do this, she could.
She pressed the buzzer and seconds later, the door opened to reveal a pleasantly surprised Susan.
"Meredith, you made it! Come on in, I'll-" she hang off when she pushed the door completely open and noticed Bessie perched in Meredith's arms.
"Oh, and that's…?" she asked smiling widely at the girl.
"That's Bessie," said Meredith stating the obvious.
"Oh, er…" Susan let her guests into the hall.
"Hello, Meredith," greeted her Thatcher, standing in the doorway to the kitchen and nervously twirling a dish towel in his hands. He looked curiously at the little girl carried by his daughter.
"And… Bessie is?" prompted Susan with a gentle smile.
Meredith froze in her tracks. Could it be that Lexie kept mum? Had she known her half-sister was that discreet, she would have never come here… Awkward.
"Erm, Lexie hasn't told you?" she glanced anxiously at Thatcher and Susan, gauging their reactions.
"Apparently… she hasn't," replied slowly the older woman.
"Oh, well… Bessie's my daughter." For the first time, her voice was strong and confident, as she introduced her daughter and shifted her proudly in her arms.
"Oh," exclaimed Susan. "She's… she's adorable! Thatcher?" she gave his husband a quick worried look and Meredith followed suit.
The man seemed absolutely flabbergasted but a soft smile played on his lips as he gazed at his daughter and apparently, granddaughter, his first granddaughter.
"Yes… she's adorable… she's," he stammered emotionally. "She's beautiful."
"I thought that you knew, that Lexie told you," explained Meredith. "I… I told you that I won't come alone and you said-"
"I thought you meant-" stated uncomfortably Susan and Meredith finally understood.
"Who? Derek?"
"Well, yes."
"Derek and I… he's… I'm his least favourite person right now," Meredith's face muscles stretched into an uneasy smile that turned out more like a grimace.
"So… this is Bessie…" said Thatcher coming closer with an insecure gait.
Meredith carefully scrutinized his face. Her father was smiling, his eyes were lit with a warm twinkle.
"Yes," she breathed out. "It's Bessie… your granddaughter."
"She isn't shy at all," remarked Susan watching the little girl greet her husband. "Molly and Lexie always ran away from strangers, hid their faces and pretended they weren't there."
"Bessie took after Meredith," chuckled Thatcher looking straight into his daughter's eyes. "You always… stared down everyone around… and then started babbling confidently."
"Who you?" Bessie shifted her attention on Susan.
"I'm…"she looked questioningly at Meredith.
"I was hoping you wouldn't mind being called grandma a few months earlier," said quietly Meredith. "It's that… I don't want to further confuse her. The thing is, she already has a fake grandma and grandpa-"
"It's okay, Meredith, wonderful," Susan gave her a radiant smile. "I'll be truly happy to be Bessie's grandma."
Meredith mirrored her grin for a moment the four of them stood in silence punctuated by Bessie's gabble until Thatcher ushered them into the dining room.
"I'll take your bag, Meredith. Let's sit down to dinner before it gets cold."
"Yes, I think we should start without Lexie," agreed Susan.
"Lexie isn't coming?" Meredith cringed slightly at the thought. The last two weeks brought about a real progress in their relations. Plus, she'd be a friendly and understanding face here.
"She's got pulled up at the hospital," explained Susan. "Her patient had some post op complications, I don't really know the details."
"Life as an intern," sighed Meredith entering the dining room.
"Meredith!" exclaimed enthusiastically Molly form the chair she was sitting on, next to a bulky blond man that was supposedly her husband. "Or should I say Dr. Meredith?" she joked bracing her hands on the armrests.
"Definitely Meredith," she grinned. "Oh, don't get up for me."
"Is this your daughter?" asked Molly out of breath. "I didn't know you had a daughter!"
"E-L-I-Z-A-B-E-T-H," said Bessie resolutely, her hand out towards Molly.
"Oh my God, she can spell her name! Is she like a genius?"
"She's a show-off," chuckled Meredith and glanced at her sister's swollen belly
"How is your daughter doing?"
"Great! Thanks to you of course. Oh!" she cried out. "Meredith, I want you to meet my husband, Eric. He's just got back from Iraq five days ago," she laughed merrily. "Eric, this is Meredith, the woman who saved our baby and my wonderful sister."
"It's a great pleasure to finally meet you, Meredith," said Eric kindly, shaking her hand with a proper soldier grip. "There are no words to say how grateful I am for everything you did for us."
"Eric," scolded him Molly. "She's going to need these fingers to save other people."
The dinner was passing peacefully filled with small talk and Molly's incessant questions.
"How old is Bessie? She's such a sweet kid. Now, I really can't wait to hold mine in my arms. How long was the labour? Where's Bessie's dad? He couldn't come?"
To Molly, the question seemed completely innocent. She lived in a happy family bubble, clouding the fact that Meredith showed on their doorstep alone with a child and hadn't mentioned the father even once. Seemingly, the rest of the table did notice. Awkward.
Meredith slowly chewed her food. "He's… working."
"What does he do?"
"He's a doctor."
"Oh my God! He's a doctor? Is he a surgeon too? Are you working together?" Molly fired a series of questions. Evidently, verbal disorders ran in the family. "You met and fell in love at work, didn't you? How romantic!"
"And now Lexie works with you and you're her boss! How funny is that? Do you tell her to fetch you coffee or bring your cleaning from the laundry?"
"About Lexie, I intended to make her godmother but now you're here, and you've already done so much for Laura, Lexie quite agrees-"
"Molly, look… I'm really touched that you'd like me to be the godmother to your little girl, I am," assured Meredith, "but I really think you should stick to your initial decision."
"You're prefect for-"
"I'm not. Perfect," she shook her head. "I'm so not prefect. I barely made it with my own child."
"You can't be serious, I haven't seen a cuter child than Bessie!"
"Molly, I'm honoured you asked me but I can't accept," said Meredith categorically. "It's nothing against you. I'm not exactly a role model. I've been keeping Bessie's existence from her father for two years."
A very pregnant silence followed her statement and Meredith craved nothing else than to scoop Bessie and make a bolt for the exit. However, one sideways glance at her daughter was enough to keep her in her place. She was having a perfect time with Thatcher sitting at her other side. The father Meredith barely remembered being around proved attentive, caring and funny and was currently helping her draw the picture for Derek. Despite the tension of the moment, she nearly chuckled as her eyes passed over a small figure with black hair resembling a lion's mane. Suddenly, they heard the door open and seconds later Lexie came into view.
"Hey, guys! So sorry I couldn't make it earlier! Meredith, you came! And my favourite niece too!"
"Your only niece for the time being," reminded Molly with sparkling eyes. "The competition's on the way."
"Well, then, I guess I'll have two favourite nieces."
"Hi, Auntie Lexie!" giggled Bessie when Lexie leaned to kiss her cheek.
"Hi, girl, what are you drawing? Is that you in the middle?"
"Mhm," Bessie nodded her head and moved her finger over the paper. "That's Mommy."
"And that? Is that me?" asked Lexie, grinning widely.
"No! Silly Auntie!" laughed sweetly Bessie. "Daddy!"
"Hmm, I think I'm relieved! Why is Derek wearing an afro?"
"You know honey," Susan addressed her older daughter. "Let's sit down before the plate we saved for you gets stone cold. We'll wait with the dessert for you and in the meantime, I'll show Meredith our garden. Leave her to drawing, Thatcher will keep an eye on her," she added seeing her stepdaughter looking uncertainly at Bessie.
Meredith followed Susan into the backyard, the autumn greenery soothing her senses. The space proved rather small but it was meticulously planned. A line of medium-sized fir trees ran along the fence blocking the garden from the neighbours' eyes. There was a round flowerbed, currently covered with cellophane, and even a miniature pond.
"Don't think that we're so antisocial," chuckled Susan pointing at the green wall around their property. "Just your dad likes peace and quiet when he writes his articles."
"Susan, no offence, but I really don't-" started Meredith.
"I didn't drag you out here to make you talk," the older woman cut her off. "I only thought you'd do with a breather."
"I… thank you, I'm fine."
"You're clearly not fine," Susan disagreed gently. "But that's okay. That's to be expected. I can't even imagine how stressful it must be for you. Meeting us, doing all the explaining, awkward questions. I hope you're not regretting coming here."
"Bessie's fake grandma I told you about, she's in London. She asked me to move forward past my inhibitions."
"I'm glad you acted on her advice."
"Are you?" breathed out Meredith as they slowly strolled around the lawn. "As I said I'm not really a role model."
"I have to disagree," stated firmly Susan. "You're underestimating yourself as a mother. And about what happened between you and Derek, I'm not going to judge. I don't know anything about it and even if I did, I wouldn't judge."
"We weren't really together," whispered Meredith. She couldn't fight the urge to get it off her chest. Stacy was right, it was good to have someone "stable" to talk to. "We always had a difficult relationship. We were in a particularly bad place when I found I was pregnant. That was just too much… and I ran for it…"
"Without a word to Derek."
"Even without a goodbye. Because if there's one thing I'm really god at, it's running. That's what I do."
"Not anymore, you don't," contradicted her Susan. "You came here. You told Derek."
"I did," sighed Meredith. "And now he's hurt and bitter, and mad at me."
"It must be incredibly hard for him," acknowledged Susan. "It has been for Thatcher, to be away from you, not to watch you grow. Never doubt it."
"Then, why…" Meredith's eyes became glossy. "Why didn't he ever come, call or write at least?"
"You will have to ask him. I can't make amends for him. But I want to speak for myself, for my mistakes. We were adults, I was adult, I should have known better. We were newlyweds, then we had our girls, I never encouraged him to find you. I'm so sorry for it," she put an arm around Meredith's shoulder and rubbed it softly. "I'm so happy you're giving him a second chance."
"I guess it would be hypocritical of me, to beg Derek for another chance while refusing it to Thatcher."
"Are things so bad with Derek?" frowned Susan. "From what I remember from our brief encounter, he couldn't get enough of you."
"It's not easy," shrugged Meredith. "I'm trying to there for him but he… pulls away."
"You just need to be patient or…"
"Or?"
"Try harder."
The still silence of the garden was broken by the sound of the opening door and they saw Thatcher and Bessie peeking outside. "Mommy! Granny Susan! Dessert!"
"Yeah, sure!" Susan yelled back with a smirk. "Thatcher, we all know you set her up to beg so that you can get your hands on that apple pie!"
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It was another hour later when Meredith pulled up in her driveway, with the trunk full of homemade food Susan forced her to take and Bessie dozing off in the backseat, to find Derek waiting for them on the porch swing. He quickly got to his feet and approached the vehicle with a worried look before she even got out.
"Hi," she greeted him out of breath. "Have you been waiting long?"
"Just a few minutes," he shrugged off. "I got your message, how did it go?"
"Uhm, good. Can you take Bessie? I think she's out cold."
"Good?" he asked taken aback, watching her open the trunk and pull countless packages giving off a delicious aroma.
When he precariously took Bessie into his arms, she cuddled into his chest and wove her hands around his neck. "Daddy!" she murmured sleepily.
"She's waited the whole day to see you," smiled Meredith and proceeded into the house.
"So have I," he breathed out, his heart feeling warmer at the way his little girl clung to him.
"Are you… okay?" he asked.
"Yeah, why wouldn't I be" she asked carrying bags into the kitchen.
"You had a dinner. With your father," said slowly Derek.
"Yeah, I know," she smirked giving him a brief look. "Did you expect a call from social services to collect Bessie while I was being detained in jail for a murder?"
"Something along those lines," he chuckled. "Seriously, how did it go?"
"It was… weird, awkward but eventually… good," acquiesced Meredith. "They all loved Bessie. especially Thatcher. The two of them hit it off immediately. Oh, and she earned the reputation of a genius."
"You'll be doing it again?"
"I think so," she answered simply. "Are you hungry? You look knackered. I could heat up some of Susan's cooking."
"Dinner sounds good," he sighed gratefully. Truth to be told, he hurried out of the hospital, thinking about nothing else than Meredith's psychical well-being. "Should I… take her to bed?" he asked reluctantly. He didn't want to part with Bessie just yet.
"You know what, sit with her until you finish your meal. She needs her daddy-time. I wasn't joking when I said she'd waited the whole day for you. Look," Meredith pulled the picture from her bag, "she drew it for you."
Meredith set to prepare him a plate of Susan's most delicious food and a mug of steaming tea. He must have been cold to the bone after all that waiting in front of the house to make sure she was okay. She would try harder for him. She would be warm and… wifey. She would be everything he ever wanted.
"That's us?" he asked studying Bessie's work, taking in three little smiling people holding hands.
"Yes," said Meredith and pointed at the last one, biting her cheek. "I think that might be a subtle hint for you to change your hairstyle."
"Very funny," he said dryly but the corners of his lips twitched. "Thank you, angel. It's beautiful," he whispered to his daughter's sleeping form.
Meredith put the food on the table before Derek and sat across him.
"Have you seen Cristina today?" she asked clutching tightly her own mug.
"Yeah, she looked a bit off."
Meredith sighed, "She's dodging my calls, I don't know what's going on with her. Or if Owen isn't going to hurt her again."
"I think they broke up," confessed Derek.
"Oh," that was all Meredith was able to say.
"Owen's seeking help," continued Derek. "He was reluctant but he finally agreed on a MRI. And he's going to see a shrink."
"That's good," Meredith breathed out in relief. "Thank you for doing this," she smiled slightly and got up.
"You know, I've been thinking," she dived her hand into the cupboard and turned to put a single key on the table next to his hand. "I don't want you to sit for hours in front of the house waiting for us. I want you to be able to come anytime you want. And I'll… feel safer knowing you can get in without any problem."
"Okay," Derek nodded looking deeply into her eyes.
"Okay, uhm," she tucked her hair behind her ears. "It's… time for bed. Can you take her upstairs? I'll wash the dishes."
Ten minutes later, she put the last mug upside down to dry and followed the two most important beings in her life to Bessie's room where her eyes met with the most adorable view she had ever seen. Apparently, Derek was even more exhausted than he let off.
Bessie was tucked under the comforter, snuggled close to Derek who was sitting beside her bed with one arm around her. Meredith tiptoed to wake him up, albeit reluctantly, when suddenly she thought better of it. She grabbed a camera from her bedroom and immortalized the moment in the frame.
Later that night, after Derek retired into Alex's old room the second night in a row, she sat on the floor with her laptop and a little stack of albums around her.
She was going to try harder and she just had an idea how.
**********************************************************************************
Calm down, I'm
calling you to say,
I'm capsized, erring on the edge of safe.
Calm
down, I'm calling back to say,
I'm home now and coming around,
coming around.
**********************************************************************************
A/N Thank you for all the reviews, comments and bumps, there are a great source of motivation for me! Let me know what you think so far! Also, I'm curious as to your ideas of what will happen next. Your comments help me get a better perspective.
With hopes that the next time I update MerDer on the show will have got married,
Em :)
