AN: Okay. One more before I go!
The mirror and the stark bathroom light were not forgiving. Derek hadn't been exaggerating when he said that I was covered in soot. It was difficult to tell the colour of my dress now, and the blackening on my face was streaked where tears had fallen. I was a complete and utter mess.
The trouble was the bathroom was spotless, until I got there at least. All the tiled surfaces were white and I knew if I touched anything I would leave a grimy mark that Derek's cleaner would curse me for. Fortunately, all the towels were charcoal grey, however.
I took a deep breath and started to remove my clothes.
I was standing in the bathroom in Derek's apartment. It was a huge loft space and this was one of the few closed in areas. Even the "bedroom" was not a room, but a raised platform to one side with a big bed. There was a very large fridge in the kitchen and an enormous TV on the far wall.
Sex, food and hockey…So typically Derek!
As soon as I was naked, I climbed into the shower and switched it on. As the warm water hit my shoulders I looked down and saw the dirty water running from me creating little rivers to the plug. Urgh!
I waited until the water started to run clear and then reached for the soap and shampoo, sniffing it first, as I used to when I was a teenager – it was only sensible when you were around Derek.
Twenty minutes later, and muttering a silent "sorry" to absent Lizzie for the length of the shower, I switched off the water and stepped out. I felt immediately vulnerable, cold, wet and naked in my ex-boyfriend's home. Grabbing a bath sheet from the heated rail and I wrapped it gratefully around my shoulders before starting to dry myself.
There was a small pile of clothes waiting for me, including an old T-shirt of Derek's and a pair of his jersey boxers which he had told me he hardly ever wore because they were on the small side.
"But then, of course," He had said with that smirk, (and a grin at Benwick who was standing nearby) "it's so hard to get any underwear big enough."
I rolled my eyes at him.
"Derek. Don't waste your breath spouting that crap. I've seen it, remember? Last time I looked, Wal-mart does junior sizes."
Benwick liked that.
The mock-flirting Derek directed at me was irritating because I knew he was only doing it when Benwick was there, making it safe to joke about sex with his ex-girlfriend because I wouldn't take him seriously.
Remembering that conversation, which had taken place half an hour ago, I still smiled as I dressed. We were friends again. It wasn't everything, but it was enough, for now.
Dressed, I brushed my hair out, grabbed my dirty clothes and left the bathroom. Derek, still soot-covered was perched on a dining chair, not wanting to get his white sofa dirty. When he saw me, he nodded toward Benwick who made his way into the bathroom.
"Better?" Derek asked staying well away from me with his dirty hands.
"Much. Can I wash these?" I held up the bundle of my dirty clothes.
He nodded and took me over to the washing machine which was hidden inside a walk-in cupboard.
"It might take a couple of goes. We'll stick everyone's clothes in together. Are you hungry? I've ordered pizza." It was nearly 1am and we had eaten at 7pm, so I was feeling a little hungry. I nodded. There must have been something off about my expression, because he tilted his head and looked at me curiously.
"Still worrying about Louisa?" he asked. I nodded.
"Archie was right, Casey, she doesn't deserve your concern, she was far too nasty for you to bother over her."
When Archie and Elisabeth had arrived at the hospital, they had immediately apologised for Louisa's behaviour – and expressed their gratitude for Derek's actions. Then Elisabeth had broken down, and I could see Archie was not far behind. They were good parents, it's a shame their daughter wasn't more like them. On reflection, I decided she was a lot like her grandfather.
"It's not her I'm worried about. It's Archie and Elisabeth. I just wished they had let me stay at the hospital."
"They were worried about you. You need to rest. If you had stayed they wouldn't have been able to concentrate on their daughter. It was the right thing to leave."
I changed the subject. "I could have gone home, you know. I only live three blocks from here."
Derek laughed. "Now where's the fun in that? This way you get to dress in my clothes and sleep in my bed."
I stared at him.
"Don't worry, I'm sleeping on the floor. Benwick can have the couch."
I was quiet for a moment. "You don't have to Derek, I can sleep on the floor."
"Benwick wouldn't give me any peace if I did that. He has this mistaken belief that I'm a gentleman."
I chuckled. "Okay. Then we'll share the bed."
It was Derek's turn to stare at me.
"Don't stare at me. Why shouldn't we share? We're brother and sister." I moved back into the living area and away from him.
He chuckled as he followed me.
"Really?" Derek said and he made me jump because he was closer than I had expected. "Because if what you and I had together is your idea of sibling love we have a very serious problem."
I turned round and found myself in his face.
"We used to be lovers, Casey, remember? That means we can never be siblings."
"Used to be, Derek. What we have now is friendship. There is no reason why we can't sleep next to each other completely innocently." I narrowed my eyes. "Why don't you want to?"
Benwick came out of the bathroom then and Derek went to take his turn. He paused at the bathroom door.
"Who said I didn't want to? I was just commenting on your sibling statement." He smirked.
I liked Benny a lot. And I could tell why he and Derek were friends. There was the loyalty he had with Sam, and the complete eccentricity of Ralph, coupled with some of the other characteristics I had seen in his college friends. He was like every friend Derek had ever had rolled into one.
I learnt a lot about Benny that night; slightly more than I wanted to when Derek started reminiscing about their time on the squad together. The scrapes Benny had got into rivalled Derek for originality. And the girls…
I really didn't want to hear about the girls, but Derek was determined to tell me all the most embarrassing stories about Benny. I sighed and waited for the moment when Benny would retaliate by telling me about the scrapes and girls that Derek had been through since our relationship ended.
But it never came. Benny told story after story about Derek pranks, but he never mentioned the girls.
And I wondered why.
When Derek was using the bathroom, I asked Benny.
He laughed. "I'd love to fill you in on the scandal, but seriously, there wasn't any. There were only a couple of girls and they were nice. He was faithful to them. He always finished with one relationship before starting on another. None of them lasted more than a couple of months and to be honest compared with the rest of the squad he was squeaky clean."
"You don't have to lie to me, Benny. I know Derek."
"I'm not lying."
I believed him.
Eventually, time and the events of earlier in the evening caught up with us. Benny said he wanted to go back to the hospital in the morning, so at 3am we went to bed. Benny took the sofa, and he gave me a strange look when Derek followed me to his own bed. But Benny said nothing.
It was dark. We had been in bed about ten minutes, and I could hear Benny's rhythmic breathing from the other side of the room - but not Derek's who was lying beside me. He must be awake. I shuffled experimentally and he moved closer. His lips found my ear.
"Nervous, Casey?"
"Of what?" I whispered back.
"Me."
"You have an over-inflated ego. Why would I be nervous of you?"
"You have a short memory." He chuckled.
"No. I don't."
"So you remember our relationship then?"
"Of course. And the biggest bit I remember is your ego."
He laughed quietly.
We lapsed into silence.
"What do you think Marti would think of our current position?" I asked, turning towards Derek. He reached around me with his arm and I moved closer to him.
"You wanna phone her and find out." He sounded amused. In the darkness, his voice hadn't aged and I was transported back fifteen years, lying in his arms in bed.
"Sure. I'll ring her and say, 'guess who I went to bed with last night'."
Derek snickered. "I bet you twenty she mentions me."
"Never. She might think it but she'd never say it."
"Marti's never been one for hanging back."
"That must run in the family. No restraint."
"I can do restraint." He protested.
"I'm not talking about handcuffs, Derek."
"Not even pink fluffy ones?"
"Der-ek!"
"Thank you I've been waiting all day for that."
We lay there for a while, Derek stroking my back and hair.
"It's getting late." I said. "We should go to sleep."
"You go to sleep."
"I don't want to."
"Me neither."
We laughed softly and Derek's arms tightened around me.
"So," He began in a formal voice. "No more fifteen year silences, agreed?"
"Agreed."
"Friendship." He sounded slightly unimpressed.
"Friendship's good Derek." I protested. "We can do friendship. Friendship between us won't upset anyone. There won't be any dramatic breakups or not talking to each other for fifteen years. We can see as much of each other as we like."
"I guess." He paused. "It would be nice to have someone who can do all that underwear-buying crap for my girlfriend at Christmas."
"Are you serious?" This was the first I'd heard of a girlfriend and he wanted me to buy her underwear!
"You think it might be a bit much if you choose her underwear?" He asked.
"Duh, yes!"
He thought about that for a moment.
"What about the plastic nurse's outfit I was planning for her birthday? You're about the same size you could try it on…"
"EW!"
He laughed.
"You are still as easy to mess with."
"Der-ek!" I said smacking him. Derek rolled over, on to me and pinning my hands safely to my sides.
"Shh! You'll wake Benny." He said quietly.
"I can't believe you even suggested that it's…it's…"
"Casey. There's no girlfriend." He said it in a very serious tone.
I lay there, in a position which frankly the last time I was in with Derek had led to the loss of clothes, loss of sleep, and the loss of my virginity.
We stayed like that for several minutes saying nothing. Then Derek buried his face in my neck.
"The attraction's still there, Casey." He groaned.
"I noticed." I said wryly, referring to the sensation of something hard against my hip bone. Derek let go of my arms and I moved my hands, one to the small of his back and the other to his face.
"I want you in my life, Derek. But I'm not risking losing you again. All I want is friendship because if we tried anything else it would eventually end. I can't do those fifteen years all over again."
"I know. I feel the same. Doesn't stop the fact it would be so easy to make love to you right now."
"The biggest mistakes are the ones most easily made."
"God. I've missed you!"
"I missed you too."
"I missed you more."
"Are we seriously going to argue about that?"
"Why not? It's what we're good at!"
He rolled off me, pulled me close and we talked ourselves to sleep.
