End of Chapter 2
I stopped to kiss Esme on the cheek before running up the stairs. Time to stop being an ass, Cullen. Things are looking up.
Chapter 3: Clinical Trials (BPOV)
I had been in Forks for a month. Charlie and I had always been of similar, quiet temperaments, so it was an easy transition into life with him. He was going to continue to work until surgery or treatments prevented him to do otherwise, so most of the time I had the house to myself. I busied myself with cleaning and stocking the kitchen, which was seriously neglected. In between chores, I would read and email Renee. Charlie had found a truck for me. I wasn't about to drive the police cruiser to the grocery store, more or less school. Also, I would need a car with all the appointments I would need to drive him to.
Today was the day of Charlie's first appointment with the new cancer specialist at the Olympic Medical Cancer Center in Port Angeles. Apparently, he was some big shot in Chicago, and he recently moved here to Washington. He was reviewing all their current cases, and had wanted to meet with Charlie about his. Charlie figured he wanted to start setting up time for surgery and a treatment plan. I had picked up a pocketed 5-subject notebook the last time I was at the store, because I was sure, through all of this, I would need to take notes to remember all that I needed to take care of Charlie.
I had been doing research on pancreatic cancer online ever since I learned of Charlie's diagnosis. I was hoping that reading about it and becoming more knowledgeable about the treatment would ease my worries and fears. Unfortunately, it only increased them. Prognosis for pancreatic cancer was not good. Most patients barely lived past a year after being diagnosed, though, in most cases, the disease was caught too late. I was hoping that Charlie was one of the rare cases, where they caught it early. I was reading back through my notes and questions as Charlie drove us to the Caner Center.
"What'cha reading, kid?" Charlie asked about halfway through our drive.
"I'm just reviewing my notes and questions for the doctor today." I mumbled over the pen I was chewing on.
"You're not going to attack this poor doctor, are you, Bells?" Charlie asked semi-joking, semi-concerned.
"I won't embarrass you, dad, if that is what you are worried about." I smiled. "There are just some things I want to be sure are clarified about your diagnosis, and I want to know what all the treatment options are."
Charlie sighed, but not in exasperation, but it was a sad sigh.
"What's wrong, dad?" I asked.
"I just hate that you have to do this, Bella. I hate that you had to grow up so soon. I mean, look at you." He pointed to my notebook. "You are prepared and thorough like someone middle-aged would be walking into this...not a 17 year old. I just wish you had more time to be a kid."
"No need for what ifs, now, dad." I patted his arm. "I am who I am because of the life I have lived. I wouldn't trade it for anything. I wouldn't want to be something other than I am." I smiled, and he weakly smiled back.
We pulled into the garage of the Cancer Center, and found our way to the offices of the doctors. Charlie gave his name to the receptionist, as I found a seat. We weren't there long, before a very handsome doctor with blonde hair and piercing blue eyes came towards us.
"Charlie Swan?" He asked.
"Yes." My dad said, putting down the magazine he had been flipping through.
"Dr. Carlisle Cullen." He said holding out his hand. My dad stood, and shook his hand.
"This is my daughter, Bella." Charlie said pointing at me. I stood up.
"It's nice to meet you, Bella." Dr. Cullen said, also shaking my hand. I looked up at him, and blushed when I met his sincere gaze. Great...blushing at the hot doctor.
"Won't you both follow me to my office." He said as he pointed us down the hallway.
His office didn't have the sterile feeling of a doctor's office. It was warm with dark woods, and the chairs seemed like antiques more than standard issue office chairs. One wall was covered in mahogany bookcases. The opposite wall held his diplomas, and a black and white photograph. I gasped.
"Bella?" Charlie turned concerned.
"Ansel Adams." I whispered. "The Grand Tetons and Snake River."
"Yes." He said. "I'm impressed."
"I was just there this summer with my mom. They are a sight to behold." I said.
"They are indeed, and this picture barely does them justice, even in it's original form." Dr. Cullen walked up next to me and smiled.
"It's the original!" I squeaked, and grasped my throat.
"A gift from my wife. I am a lucky man, indeed." He said, and winked at me and walked toward his desk. "Please, have a seat." Charlie and I sat down across from him at his desk.
"Mr. Swan, I called you for this appointment, because I wanted to discuss something with you." He said, looking through the file on his desk, that I assumed was Charlie's.
"Shoot, doc." Charlie said.
"I know Dr. Smith talked to you about surgery, but I am not convinced that surgery alone will be enough in your case." I sighed and lowered my head at this news, and Charlie patted my hand.
"What I would like to discuss with you is maybe getting you into a clinical trial." Dr. Cullen said. "You are a still young, and I am sure your job requires some physical fitness. I think you would be a prime candidate for this type of rigorous treatment. There is one right now with Dr. Whiting at NIH in Seattle. I talked to him on the phone yesterday, and he is willing to admit you into the program."
"What all does it entail?" I asked, flipping open my notebook.
"Here." Dr. Cullen said handing me a paper. "These are all the details of the study." He turned to Charlie. "You can do all of your chemotherapy treatment here in Port Angeles, and you would only have to go to Seattle for the surgery."
"Whatever you think is best, doc." Charlie said.
"Wait." I said. "What has been his success rate so far? Is the hope total remission, or is it just prolonging life a bit?" I asked.
"The hope is total remission, Bella, but if anything, I am sure Charlie would like to see you graduate from high school." Dr. Cullen gave me a soft smile, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. He could tell from my question that I had done my homework, and knew the prognosis for people with this cancer.
"I..." My voice caught in my throat, and I looked at Charlie while trying to hold back the tears that were threatening my eyes.
"It will be OK, kid." Charlie said giving my hand a squeeze. "Shall we take a chance?"
I nodded, not trusting my voice.
"Let's do it, then." Charlie said to Dr. Cullen.
"Great!" Dr. Cullen replied. "You will need someone to bring you to and from your appointments. You are not going to be up to working once it begins, so you will have time to settle things with work before we start. Do you have someone to help you once this gets started?"
I raised my hand and waved it at him sheepishly.
"Is there no one else?" He asked Charlie. Charlie shook his head.
"I'm afraid he is stuck with me, Dr. Cullen." I said sitting up straighter. "Chauffeur. Emergency contact. Nurse. Cook. Maid. I am the complete package."
Dr. Cullen nodded, and I could see the sadness in his eyes. He quickly looked down, and shuffled through a drawer for something. He wrote something down, and then signed his name, and handed me the paper.
"You will want to give this note to your school administrators. I am afraid you are going to find yourself missing some school, and that should clear you from those absences." He said with a smile. "You show every indication that you are an intelligent young woman, so I have no doubt of your ability to keep up with the work."
"My Bella is a smart one. College bound, this one." Charlie said with pride. "Forks High hasn't seen one smarter."
"Dad!" I said embarrassed now.
"My kids are starting there this fall as well." Dr. Cullen said motioning to the picture over his shoulder on the shelves behind him. "Alice, and Edward, on the right, will be juniors. Emmett is a senior."
"Twins?" I asked.
"No." He laughed. "My children are all adopted."
"That is so kind of you." I said. He smiled.
"House full of teenagers." Charlie laughed and shook his head. "I hope you are prescribing yourself something good to survive that!"
Dr. Cullen laughed.
"Well, " he said standing up, "you can make your first appointment with the ladies in scheduling. I would like to get you started on the first round of chemotherapy after Labor Day. With the schedule of the trial, we should be able to get your surgery scheduled to coincide with Bella's winter break from school. The typical hospital stay is two weeks. Here is my card. My personal cell phone number is on the bottom there, if you guys ever need anything. We are right around the corner, it seems."
"Thanks so much, Dr. Cullen." Charlie said shaking hands with him again.
"Yes, thank-you Dr. Cullen." I said shaking his hand.
"No problem. Good luck with your first day of school, Bella." Dr. Cullen waved as we exited his office, and I closed the door.
We sat down with one of the women in scheduling to hash out Charlie's treatment schedule. He would start his chemotherapy the Thursday after Labor Day, and I would bring him back weekly for 2 months. After that, it was two weekly appointments of chemotherapy with radiation. We would have a break from mid-Thanksgiving until the surgery at the end of December. Maybe, if Charlie was feeling well enough, I could go visit Renee over Thanksgiving. Finally, we would do the last round of chemo from March to June.
It was all feeling very real now. The disease itself still felt like something impalpable, but now that we had dates and a schedule, I no longer felt like I was waiting. I had something to do. A purpose. I had something real to hang onto, as far as Charlie's illness was concerned. Now I could shift some of my focus towards something else I was dreading...the start of school.
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A/N: And so we see where Carlisle plays in this. A special thanks to my mother, who helped me greatly with this chapter. She is an oncology nurse, and led me to the Fred Hutchinson Research Facility in Seattle, and the idea of a clinical trial. Dr. Whiting and his trial are real, and it fit well with my story. :-)
