Chapter 1: How Does It Feel.

"I am young and I am free,
But I get tired and I get weak."

Her mum placed a plate of food down in front of them. "Thanks." Nate said, which Jason and Shane backed up. Sydney, afraid of saying anything, picked up her fork and went to start eating. "Sydney?" She looked up at her father. "You're mother spend her time cooking this dinner for you and you're not going to thank her?!" Sydney swallowed and thanked her mum quietly. "Worthless child." Her father muttered. Sydney looked down at her plate ashamed of herself. Would she ever be good enough for her parents? Shane looked across the table at her, his eyes full of concern. She looked torn, hurt, lost. It broke his heart to see his little baby sister like this. He watched as she took slow bites of her food and almost forcing herself to swallow it.

"Sydney, do the dishes." Her mother instructed her after they had finished the dinner, Sydney nodded shyly and picked up her plate. Shane hopped to feet. "I'll help."

"No." His father said. "We asked Sydney." Shane slowly sat back down in his chair as Sydney picked up all the plates. She dropped a fork on the table and her parent's groaned and scowled at her. "Useless." She quickly picked it up and hurried into the kitchen. Shane felt helpless, he couldn't stop this. He just watched her slowly crumble away.

-

"Sydney, get in." Her father spat as they got onto the jet. Her brothers had got a role in a film called 'Camp Rock'. So they were flying to the set today, Shane was especially excited as he had the lead role. Sydney on the other hand, was happy for her brothers but inside she was screaming, she wasn't a people's person. In fact, she only felt normal when she was around her big brother Shane. Sydney sat down by the window and stared out of it, she could see the ocean. She loved the ocean, there was something special about it. The way the sun tinkled on it? The salty smell? "Hey Syd." Shane said as he sat in the seat next to her, ready for take off. She smiled politely at him and continued to stare at the ocean. "What is with you and the ocean?" He asked doing up his seatbelt, she shrugged her gaze not moving. He laughed and the pilot informed them that he was about to take off. She watched as her view from the ocean was taken away and was replaced by clouds and a bird's eye view of America. When they were airborne they were allowed to take off their seat belts and get up. Shane got out his guitar and strummed at it. Sydney turned around a watched him play, he stop and lifted the guitar up to her. She shook her head furiously, "Come on, Sydney. Give it a try."

She turned around to face the window again but he grabbed her shoulder and brought her back round to face him. "Please..."He begged, she shook her head again. "No, Shane. I can't."

"Why not? I'll teach you."

She shot him a look which read 'You know why.' and Shane sighed. "Yeah, I know you're dyslexic and stuff but you can't let that stop you." She rolled her eyes and face the window again. "Syd." He said, trying to get her attention. "Sydney." She ignored him. "Hello, Sydney?"

"Sydney, don't ignore your brother. That's rude." Her mother told her and she turned faced Shane. "Oh. No, I was just... It wasn't important."

"See what you did?" She said to Sydney, disapprovingly. Shane tried to defend her, not wanting to be the reason why she got told off. "It's not her fault. I was just.... nothing." Sydney pulled up her hood and rested her head against the window as she watched the world pass her by. Shane couldn't help but feel that he was the reason why she was being slowly destroyed.

-

Nate stifled a laugh as Sydney twitched in her sleep from the feather he was tickling her with. They were currently in a car on their way to the set. Sydney had fallen asleep and her brothers were annoying her. Nate tickled her ear with the feather and she slapped him in her sleep by accident. Shane and Jason burst out laughing which woke Sydney up. "What are you guys doing?"

"Nothing." They said in unison before giggling. She rubbed her eyes and looked out the window, they had reached a forest looking place and Sydney gathered they were near the set. A few minutes later the car stopped and Sydney was told to get the bags out of the trunk. As Shane, Jason and Nate walked in they saw Mitchie, they had met her at some other events and shows. "Hey guys!" She said hugging each one of them. "I can't believe we're actually going to be filming together!" She squealed and they laughed at her. Sydney came through the door, carrying most of the suitcases and bags, except hers. "Who's that?" Mitchie asked as she studied the dark haired teen. Shane turned around and saw Sydney. "That's our sister."

"You guys have a sister?" Mitchie asked. They nodded in response. Mitchie, not wanting to seem rude, followed the 15 year old as she went out to get her bag. She reached into the car and pulled it out before coming face to face with Mitchie. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. I'm Mitchie." She said sticking out her hand. Sydney smiled shyly and shook her hand. "Sydney."

"That's an awesome name. Here let me help." Mitchie said taking her duffel bag. "No that's OK-" She took it back off of Mitchie and walked into the room where the others were. "Sydney, take these to our rooms." Her mother said handing her the keys. Sydney nodded and dragged the bags away. "She looks like she needs some help." Mitchie said and was about to go and help her but was stopped by Shane. "Don't." He sighed, knowing that if they did help it would be worst on Sydney.

The director came in and started to talk to the boys about the movie and there roles, they were really happy about this but Shane's smiled kept fading every time he saw or thought of Sydney. Sydney reappeared after putting the bags in their rooms. She discovered that there was 3 rooms, two with a double bed and one with two singles. In one of the double bed rooms there was a sofa bed, she came to a conclusion that was her bed for the next few months. She sat in the corner of the room, biting her nails and watched as her brothers carried on with their happy, wonderful lives while hers was on a permanent standstill, because there was no way forward.

"Tell me about your sister." Mitchie asked as she sat down next to Shane. "Well, she's 15. She's very shy and timid. She has dyslexia and that's pretty much it."

"Aww... She seems sweet." Mitchie commented. "She is." Shane said looking over at his little sister. "She's an awesome person, she just doesn't get to show it." Mitchie smiled and placed her arm on Shane's shoulder.

-

"Sydney. We need you to go get the boy's breakfast. So, Hurry." Sydney waited for her mum to walk away before grabbing some clothes and running to the bathroom. After getting washed and dressed, she headed to the cafeteria and picked up a tray with 3 plates. "Hungry much?" She looked up and saw Mitchie standing over her grinning. "Nah, it's for my brothers." Sydney said placing scrambled eggs on each plate.

Mitchie shot her a confused look. "What about you?"

"I'm not allowed, until my mum and dad get here." She placed some bacon on the plates and walked over to a table. Mitchie could sense something was up with Sydney. She looked at the way she was dressed, she had a black tee on with a white long sleeved top on underneath. Which was strange because it was really hot. "Aren't you hot?" She asked, Sydney face dropped and she placed her arms underneath the table. "N-no, I'm fin-ne." She stuttered.

"Really? Come on you must be a little bit warm. I know I am." She said pointing to her outfit which consisted of shorts and t shirt. "You look warm." Mitchie said and grabbed her arm, rolling her sleeves up which revealed lots of cuts across her wrist. Mitchie was gob smacked, she didn't know what to do or say.

Sydney pulled her arm away from Mitchie's grip and tugged down her sleeves. "I'm fine, just leave me alone." She whispered before turning away and biting her nails. Mitchie stepped back, dumbfounded by what she had just discovered. Just then Shane, Nate and Jason came into the room and walked over to Sydney. She decided to keep her mouth shut for now, because she wasn't sure if it would be worst if she told. Shane looked down at his place which had eggs on it. He hated eggs.... but he would do anything to keep his sister out of trouble.

"How does it feel
To be different from me?"

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A/N: What do you think? I had some ideas of what I was going to do for this chapter but the rest was totally unplanned, so sorry if it's a bit suck-ish.... REVIEW! (A new life chapter is nearly done.)

(Video coming soon, check my profile!)

Song: How does it feel – Avril Lavigne.