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He had graciously offered to sleep on the couch, silencing Olivia's protests of him sleeping on her comfortable bed instead of the lumpy couch. He had chalked it up to the fact that he could keep a watchful eye on the door from his view on the couch in the living room. But in truth, he could never sleep in Olivia's bed. Even without her beside him, he would undoubtedly lose himself in the thought of being in the very place she slept every night, sometimes tossing and turning the night away. He would be able to smell her within the sheets, see the imprint of her body after the previous night's rest, imagine the way her face changed as her dreams became nightmares. He let himself be contented with having her in the next room, alone to try and shake off his earlier thoughts.

They had exchanged heated words and he was in no position to argue with Olivia. Everything she had said had been true and he felt guiltier by the second at the realization. He had pushed everyone else away, left only to let out his frustrations on Olivia. She had stayed time and time again and it was all because she needed him. As independent as Olivia Benson always claimed to be, her biggest fault had been her reliance on Elliot Stabler. But this time it would be different. They'd been to hell and back over the course of a decade, but he'd never use her again as a human punching bag. He'd treat her the way she deserved.

His eyes were just about to finally close when he heard the sounds coming from her bedroom. Fearful that it might be an intruder, he lifted himself off the couch and pulled his gun, cocking and pointing it in front of him. He slowly opened her bedroom door, relieved to find that she was the only occupant in the room. He saw her tossing and turning with no restraint, stringent moans escaping her lips as she fought an imaginary villain. His eyes widened at the sight; never had he seen Olivia Benson in such a state. He stood frozen for longer than he intended; it took him a moment to register fully what was before him. He realized that although she would never admit it, this was one battle she couldn't fight herself.

Elliot placed both hands on her shoulders, gently shaking her awake. Her eyes opened and she flinched when she laid eyes on him, her fist connecting with his jaw in an attempt to fight him off. He knew that she was confused, but the pain in his mandible throbbed. "Olivia, it's me. It's Elliot."

She let out a strangled gasp, focusing her eyes on her partner. She surprised them both by reaching out and placing a palm over his cheek, as if to make sure he was real. He could see the fear in her eyes, the vulnerability she would never let show under normal circumstances. She felt tense beneath his fingertips, ready for a fight as she always seemed to be.

He pulled her closer to him, letting her rest her head on his chest. She gripped his shirt between her fists, holding on tight as if she never wanted to let go and he could see the lone tear slip down her cheek. He wiped it away with his thumb, but it was soon followed by a stream of tears he was unable to cease. He let her cry, aware that for her shedding tears was a rare occasion. The layers of her emotions were slowly peeling away and she trusted only him to be the one to see her fall.

She normally would evade this situation. Crying into someone, wearing her heart on her sleeve, letting someone see every part of her on display. It wasn't in her nature to rely on anyone but herself. But she felt at ease in Elliot's arms, truly safe for the first time in so long. She let the tears fall without regard, long overdue for a cry. She cried for everything that made her into the person she had become.

It felt like an eternity sitting there with her in his arms. The morning sun was peaking its head out from its hiding place between the clouds, the morning dew beginning to form outside. When her tears finally subsided, he pulled away from her slowly, surprised to find her asleep with a content smile gracing her face. It was the first time since this whole ordeal had begun that he had seen her like this. Unaware of the danger surrounding her and peaceful for at least a moment. He smiled slightly at the thought of her finally letting out the emotions she had kept from him. Letting go of her fears and trusting him to see her in ways she wouldn't dare show anyone else. It seemed as if they were on their way to repairing what had been broken between them.

He ran a hand up and down her back, soothing her with his caress and with words that were inaudible to her in her slumber. "I will always be here for you."

It was a simple declaration of both his love and devotion to her. Her eyes fluttered open and she smiled. Although he didn't always say how he felt, she was able to read him like the back of her hand. She was immensely glad that he had finally put a voice to his unspoken emotions. It was the first step toward becoming partners again.

She lifted her head off his chest and he saw the sadness in her eyes. He wanted to tell her that everything would be okay, but he couldn't. He couldn't tell her everything would be okay because then he would be lying to her. Nothing was guaranteed this time and it scared him more than he was willing to admit.

But within those eyes, there was something he rarely saw; guilt. She felt unbelievably guilty and it was clear to him why. They had crossed the line because of what they had done. They were no longer partners when he had eased her with his comfort. He had watched her fall and had taken it upon himself to be the shoulder she needed to cry on. She was angry and hurt at allowing herself to breach her unwavering professionalism. He would reassure her a thousand times it was okay, but she was Olivia Benson.

"I hate this, Elliot," she managed to choke out. "I hate this."

"And you think I don't?" he asked softly. "I never thought I'd have to see my partner crumble."

"I just don't like feeling like I'm not in control. I'm used to being independent and now I have to rely on you to feel safe when I shouldn't."

"Anyone would fall towards where they knew there was safety. Anyone would," he told her. His blue eyes were so piercing that she almost had the urge to look away. "You don't always have to be so brave, you know."

She stared back at him, wondering how his eyes could make her want to confess it all. "I don't know how to be anything else but brave, Elliot."

His face twitched with the stun of her admission. He'd always known her true identity had eaten her up inside, but he never realized it halted her ability to simply feel. She had been fighting with her inner demons for so long she had never allowed herself to feel anything but the need to be in constant fight mode. He finally understood why she had run from him so many times before, why she had shut him out so many times before and why she had trusted other people instead of him so many times before. Because the only person she'd ever been able to feel anything with was him. This unknown territory, after years of feeling resistance, scared her beyond measure.

By the way, I apologize for my lack of updates. I planned to update this LONG ago but the end of the school year, my writer's block and the busy activities of summer have kept me from this story. But I promise I'll be better about this and the other stories I have coming up. I really do appreciate your patience and faith in me. It's the readers like you that keep me going. :)