Funny how I decide to finally update this "story" after just kinda bashing self-insertion fics. But oh well, I just had to make another one of these. It's a little late (meant to post it last night), but I hope you enjoy the chapter!


"Wasp"

"And many mooorrre!" the group of Korey's friends finished before whooping and clapping as the celebrated birthday boy blew out the candle on his cake happily.

"Thanks so much you guys, this is awesome!" Korey spoke up with a bright smile, still surprised that Koops actually managed to keep the surprise party a secret all day. The job of setting up the party location in Korey's own house was quite well done; he never suspected a thing, even as people zipped back and forth through town at a noticeably more frequent rate than usual. A large mushroom cake was baked by Koopie Koo for the occasion, and Koopley and Koopook handled the decorations and various snacks. Kroop was also present, rambling at a corner of the house about what it would be like if his eyebrows were a mustache, and various other townsfolk were present, enjoying themselves thoroughly as the cutting of the cake proceeded.

"Man, this is the best birthday ever," Korey admitted to Koops with a smile as he received his slice of the rich, enticing cake. "And it's the perfect excuse for continuing to totally ignore working on my novel."

"I'm glad you like it," Koops returned with a smile of his own before taking a sip of his fruit punch. "Koopie Koo, my dad and I were up all night baking the cake and making sure we had everything ready for today. We've got a lot of games for later too, so I hope you're ready to stay up all night."

"Heck yeah I am!" Korey exclaimed joyously as he began to dive his fork down into his cake. Before he could stab the delicacy however, Koops glanced over at the plate of food and promptly choked on the punch he was currently downing.

"Korey, there's a-"

Coughing. An unexpected belch. The staring of one Koopa at another, hoping the other was okay.

"There's a wasp on your cake!" Koops finally got out after several seconds of choking and/or gagging. Korey, dumbfounded, dared to take a look at his slice of cake. And, sure enough, walking about casually right on top of it, was a wasp.

"OH MY DEAR GOD!!!"

Korey jettisoned the plate clear across the room in his immediate panic, causing it to shatter and the cake to smear all over the wall it collided into. Everyone immediately jumped at the sudden outburst and they all stared at Korey simultaneously, none but Koops understanding why the heck he just did that.

"There's a wasp!" Korey shouted immediately, pointing at the now-flying insect as it began to circle the room menacingly. Everyone stared at the intimidatingly large bug with its crude, hanging limbs with fear and shock equal to Korey's, and Koopie Koo freaked out beyond believe once the insect suddenly decided to take interest in her.

"OH MY GOSH!!" she screamed at the top of her lungs shortly before bolting at the closed door leading outside, breaking the thing's top hinge as she plowed through it and didn't come to a stop until she was on the small island outside the house. And she wasn't the only one that started to panic as the wasp continued to make its way around the place.

People ducked and hid in fear, covering their heads as the wasp came near and jumping clear across the room just to get away from it. What was a joyous occasion only moments ago became a panicked frenzy of dodging and screaming as Koopas and Toads zipped back and forth all about the house. Mayor Kroop was the only person to appear completely calm, simply wondering why in the world everyone was so worried about such a small bug.

"Why, in my day, bugs were as big as dogs," he mused to nobody in particular. "And dogs were as big as mammoths. And mammoths were our school buses."

As he spoke, he didn't notice that the wasp was flying directly at him, but the rest of the residents in the house did.

"Mayor, watch out!" that one video-game obsessed Toad kid cried out at the top of his lungs as everyone else gave out a collective gasp.

The mayor, oblivious, continued to rant on as the wasp flew ever closer to him. And it was soon understood that, if he was to remain safe, someone would have to get him out of the way immediately.

And thus, Koopook stood up to the challenge. Emerging from his exceptional hiding spot in a paper thin slit behind Korey's bookcase, time slowed to a crawl as he immediately turned toward the mayor and began to run forward.

"Mmmmmmmmmmaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyooooooooorrrrrrrrrrr Kkkrrrrrroooooooooooppp...!...!...!" he shouted out in extreme slo-mo as his arms pumped, his heart raced, and his running feet pounded against the floor. Everyone slowly turned to see Koopook making his mad dash and, distressed, Korey stepped forward, holding out his hand in faint hopes of grabbing the Koopa back.

"Kkkoooooooppppooooooookkk, dddoooooooooonnnnnnn'tttttttt bbbeeeeeee aaaaa heeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrroooooooo...!...!...!" he shouted out as Koops grabbed his shoulder and pulled him back, away from the danger.

Koopook didn't listen though. He was determined. The mayor had to be saved from the flying threat, and he was the only one close enough to get him out of the way in time.

He dived. Everyone watched with bated breath as Koopook and the wasp were both mere feet away from the still jabbering mayor, waiting to see which of the two would get to him first.

"Yyyyyyyyeeeeeeeesssssssss, IIIIIIII rrrrrrreeeeeeeeemmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeemmmmmmmmbbbbbeeeeeeeerrrrrrrr Mmmmmmiiiiiiiiisssssssssssssssssssssssss Cccaaaarrrrrrrrmmmmmmiiiiiiiiiicccchhhhhaaaaaaaaeeeeeeeeellllllll fffffooooooonnnnnndddllllyyyyy-wwwwwwwhhhhhhhhhoooooooooaaaaaaaaa nnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeeelllllllllliiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeee...!...!...!" he shouted out slowly as he was tackled to the ground by Koopook and the wasp flew harmlessly by overhead. Time slowly progressed back into regular speed, and Koopook helped the mayor to his feet as the wasp nestled itself onto the window that was just behind where the mayor was standing. Korey soon grabbed everyone's attention and began to order that everyone evacuate the house immediately.

"Okay, the wasp came down to land, so we have a few seconds for everyone to get out and save themselves!!!" he shouted urgently. Everyone immediately took heed of the instruction and clamored for the door. And, in a matter of seconds, the house was empty. Well, mostly empty anyway, for Korey and Koops had stayed behind.

"Koops, you've gotta get outta here, that wasp could start flying any second! I have to defend my home and take care of this myself."

"I-I can't Korey," Koops responded, looking at Korey, then over at the wisp on the window. He was obviously afraid, but, "I'm not gonna leave you to face this w-wasp by yourself. It's too dangerous."

Korey was touched. His best friend, offering to stay by his side until the offending bug was dispelled... He had to do all he could to hold back a tear as he stepped forward and placed a hand on Koops's shoulder.

"Thanks Koops... I'm lucky to have a friend as great as you," he said, nearly bringing a tear to Koops's eye as well. But, breaking their moment of serenity was the evil, hair-raising sound of buzzing and occasional tapping. Both Koopas shot their eyes back to the window and saw that the wasp was flying once more, bumping itself into the window multiple times. Maliciously.

"Okay, while it's still dazed and confused, go under my sink and get the can of bug spray and any other spray you can find!" Korey order immediately. "I'll stay here and fend it off until you get back!"

Koops nodded quickly and jetted off for Korey's kitchen as Korey himself watched the wasp closely. Thankfully, it appeared as if it wouldn't stop bumping into that window anytime soon, and Koops's voice rang out to him.

Korey turned to catch the can of bug spray Koops said he was about to toss over. The moment the can left Koops's hand though, he shouted out urgently and pointed behind Korey's back.

"Look out!"

Korey turned his head to look over his shoulder, and the wasp landed right on his beak.

Time froze as a large, red curtain immediately fell out of the sky, draping over the entire scene for a moment before slowly lifting back up into the rafters. Standing on the left side of the stage in front of twelve onlookers, Korey didn't even have time to involuntarily spasm at the realization that the wasp was on his nose before he was smacked on the back of the head with the can of bug spray. He took one point of damage for the hit, but, thankfully, the sudden forward jerk of his head caused the wasp to jump off him and fly to the opposite side of the stage.

"Dear lord, it's getting more aggressive by the minute," Korey spoke up with a shudder as he knelt down to pick of the can as Koops came by his side with a bottle of glass cleaning spray.

"We have to get rid of it fast," Koops responded shakily. "If it gets outside, who knows what could happen?"

"Then let's nip this thing in the bud!"

Korey then looked into the air in order to select one of the three battle categories that presented themselves: "Attack", "Items", and "Tactics". He immediately checked out his attacks, and saw that the only offensive attack he had, "Shell Spin", was grayed out, thanks to the enemy's aerial nature. His second move, "Withdraw", his defensive move where he hid in his shell and nullified all damage granted he guard correctly on top of that, was quite enticing, but would have been cowardly and useless for the situation at hand.

He then moved over to Tactics, where "Switch Partner" showed itself to be grayed out. "Appeal" and "Defense" were quite useless as well, but he looked at the "Run Away" option for several seconds.

Oh, how he wished he could do that. But he had to defend his home.

Closing out that sub menu, Korey went to his last choice, "Items", wherein waited the only item he had on his person: the can of bug spray. The number "3" displayed itself next to the item. So, he only had three shots at this...

The menu closed itself out and, reluctantly, Korey walked over to the other side of the stage to face the wasp. As he drew near, he leaned his body and head back as far as he could while holding out his can of spray as if it were going to explode the moment he pressed down on the dispensing cap.

He sprayed all about wildly, keeping his eyes closed in fear the whole time. However, the wasp easily evaded the attack, simply flying up higher than the spray ever reach and remaining elevated there until Korey opened his eyes and realized he missed completely.

"Ah man," he mumbled as he returned to his side of the stage and an audience member left the performance.

Koops now attempted his turn at spraying the bug with his not-quite-as-lethal-but-still-mildly-effective spray, acting in a similar fashion as Korey did before him as he administered the attack. The wasp evaded yet again, but, this time, it never came back down to its previous position. Instead, it seemed to take notice of a light shining from the rafters above the stage, and soon granted it more interest than Korey and Koops.

"Wh-What's it doing up there?" Koops asked nervously, afraid it might be tampering with the equipment and setting up a light or something to drop down on them. Once they observed that it was simply bumping against the light though, it was evident that it made the crafty the decision to suspend itself outside of the reach of the Koopas' sprays. A genius move.

"We need a different item, like a Fire Flower or something," Korey observed, turning to Koops to ask if he had anything on his person.

"All I have are these garden clippers," Koops admitted, which Korey summoned out of his pocket and grabbed out of the air anyway. He immediately turned to face the wasp once more and chucked the clippers at it as hard as he could. The shears barely missed the bug, but it made quick work of the light it wasn't bumping into and shattered the glass and the bulb within to pieces, creating a shower of crowd-pleasing sparks that did nothing to help the situation at all, but did attract three new audience members. "I guess I didn't really need those..." Koops muttered as Korey stomped his foot and snapped his fingers in aggravation.

"Do any of you have anything that could help?" Korey asked, turning to the audience, who immediately started shoveling through pockets as they searched.

Almost all of them turned up nothing, but one Shy Guy (thankfully) whipped out a Courage Shell and held it up proudly.

"Heads up!" he shouted just before tossing the shell up toward the stage. Absently, Koops actually tilted his head up and looked around for something that may soon fall from the ceiling.

"Is something coming loos-"

The shell soon whacked him in the side of the head (don't worry, he took no damage) and ricocheted back into the crowd as Koops himself lost his balance and stumbled a few steps toward the backdrop. As the shell promptly knocked out the very Shy Guy who tossed it up for the Koopas' use, Koops tripped up and slammed himself into the background.

As he stood up, the cardboard wall began to wobble and teeter dangerously. Soon enough, the backdrop came crashing down on the two Koopas, who did absolutely nothing to stop it, for their innate one point of defense would prevent them from being hurt anyway.

The prop splintered to pieces before disappearing as both Koopas continued to ponder what else they could throw at the antagonistic wasp. Then they looked at the items sitting in their hands.

"Oh yeah..." they both muttered at the same time. Koops then chucked his bottle of glass cleaner with all his might. And, thankfully, the projectile was dead on. Unthankfully, the crafty wasp dipped down just in the knick of time, causing the bottle to crash into the spotlight and fall back to the ground harmlessly. Before disappearing.

"Wha-hey, where'd the bottle go!?" Koops spoke up, disappointed that he wouldn't be able to simply retrieve his weapon, and wondering if the same thing happened to his coveted gardening clippers.

"That's not important right now Koops, we have to-hey, where's it going?" Korey said, staring in disbelief as the wasp casually buzzed its way offstage, uneventfully ending the battle as Korey and Koops were forced into their victory poses and the crowd clapped reluctantly, incredibly disappointed by the lackluster show.

The world faded to black momentarily before Koops and Korey found themselves back in the house. Exclamation marks popped up above their heads as they watched the wasp quietly exit the house, and both Koopas hurried over to the door in order to continue keeping watch over it, along with virtually the entire rest of the town, who were all gathered outside on the island that Koopie Koo made her escape to minutes ago.

They all watched the creature in silent awe as it buzzed to and fro aimlessly for a matter of moments, then, suddenly, spontaneously, ascended high into the air. It headed off in the direction of Shhwonk Fortress, and, before long, it was gone...

But the crowd continued to look...

Korey and Koops continued to look...

Pennington continued his raging accusations...

And soon, all was peaceful. The threat was gone. Everyone was safe once more.

But Korey had a feeling...that that wouldn't be the last time he'd be seeing the likes of that ordinary, harmless wasp... And he would have to stay prepared to defend his home-no, his entire town, if it ever made its return...