Disclaimer: Question: why would I be on if I owned Inuyasha? Wouldn't I be better spending my time drawing the actual manga instead of ENDING it? I finished it and I'm a little depressed now…
Note: I just had to write this fanfiction. This idea has been stuck in my head since forever!
Bundle of Joy
"When did this happen? When did you two…?" Eri inquired, icredulous.
Inuyasha and Kagome screamed, "We DIDN'T! We'd NEVER!"
"You know, Kagome, you could've told us that you had…and that you were…" Ayumi replied.
"I WASN'T! I DIDN'T! Have I ever looked pregnant to you!" Kagome screeched.
"Inuyasha, what about your girlfriend?" Yuka gasped, "Are you going to dump her for Kagome now?" She said the last part with stars in her eyes.
"You're making it all up! Can't you just listen for one friggin second?" Inuyasha seethed.
The three turned to Kagome. "What about Hojo?"
"What about Hojo," Kagome retorted.
"Oh my gosh, Kagome, you're so heartless! How can you just say that!" Yuka cried.
"That you listen to," Inuyasha and Kagome grumbled.
Eri shook her head, "You guys should've been smart enough to use protection at least!"
"WE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!" Kagome screeched.
Inuyasha took a deep breath, ""Do I have to spell it out for you? W-E space D-I-D space N-O-T space H-A-V-E space I-N-T-E-R-C-O-U-R-S-E. WE DID NOT, I REPEAT, NOT HAVE INTERCOURSE. As in,we are both still virgins. I have not 'deflowered' Kagome. I did not partake in an inappropiate act, in which children are created. No one has 'broken the seal'. Mizuko was not created in the joining of my sperm to a Kagome's egg. She contains no amount of my DNA or Kagome's. WE DID NOT HAVE SEX!! Do you get it now?" Inuyasha was panting by this time. "What is up with you girls and not listening."
"So who's kid is this?" Eri, Yuka and Ayumi asked in confusion.
"She's adopted, you dolts," Kagome seethed.
"Oh…"they all finally understood, "Okay I get it."
"Kagome," Inuyasha said.
"Yes…?" Kagome replied.
"Your friends are MORONS!" Inuyasha cried.
Kagome nodded, "Unfortunately, they are."
…
"Oh, so you wanted to keep it a secret because if people found out they'd react like we did…" Ayumi finally got it.
Inuyasha nodded, "Because most of the high school population jump to conclusions and stay by their conclusions until you tell them in a really long paragraph practically undelining the truth using variations of the same thing...like I had to do for you three and Kagome. I don't have the time to do that for everyone."
"So…umm…what were you guys doing in the park…?" Yuki inquired, "Were you guys on a date or something?"
The response was some combination of 'No! Of course not!' 'I have a girlfriend' 'I don't even like him that way!' 'I don't like her at all' and 'With Mizuko? Are you stupid?'.
"Oh, I get it," Yuka grinned slyly.
Ayumi blinked, "I don't it."
Eri grabbed Ayumi and she and Yuka began to leave, "Let's leave those two to their date…"
"WE'RE NOT ON A DATE!" Inuyasha and Kagome screamed then Inuyasha added, "DO I NEED TO GO OVER IT LIKE I DID BEFORE, OR WILL YOU GET IT THE FIRST TIME?"
They heard laughter in response.
"Kagome?"
Kagome sighed, "I know, my friends are morons…"
…
"You all know why we're gathered here today," Bankotsu announced as the gang (minus Inuyasha and Kagome) sat down in the food court.
"Actually, no, I don't," Yuki answered, "Is someone getting married?"
Bankotsu slapped his forehead and shook his head. "Eriko…"
"See, we think something is up between Inuyasha and Kagome. I'm pretty sure that Kagome lied about the Sailor Moon thing. I mean, since that day, not only has Inuyasha been ditching us but Kagome too. And her friends…the other ones, they know what's up. They just won't tell us," Eriko explained.
"Are they getting married?" Yuki inquired.
"Who? Kagome's friends? Or Kagome?" Eriko asked.
"Kagome and Inuyasha," Yuki answered.
Bankotsu slapped his forehead. "NO ONE IS GETTING MARRIED!"
"No one?" Yuki cried incredulously, "That's horrible! No one, anywhere is getting married!"
Bankotsu scowled, "No."
"No?" Yuki replied, horrified.
Bankotsu's forehead was getting sore…
…
"Now that everything is cleared up," Bankotsu cleared his throat, ignoring Yuki's cries of pain. "It's time to get the meeting started."
"Finally," Sango exclaimed, "I was about to fall asle-" Sango turned to glare at Miroku. "I hope that is not your hand I feel."
Miroku shivered, "I slipped…?"
Sango took a deep breath. "You pervert!" she slapped him harder than she has ever slapped him before. "If you do that ever again, I won't just slap you. I have knowledge of over 700 ways to kick someone in the nuts and I'm getting really stoked to use it."
Eriko cleared her throat. "Anyways, I think today we should pay them a surprise visit…"
…
"Um, Inuyasha?" Kagome called out from living room.
"Yeah?" Inuyasha responded from his room.
"I think we're out of diapers and baby food…" Kagome responded, then headed for the kitchen. "Yep, completely out of both I just used the last diaper…"
"Oh…great," Inuyasha muttered sarcasticly.
"I think we have to go grocery shopping," Kagome added and Mizuko giggled.
"I think we're already too comfortable we this," Inuyasha sighed. "But we have to go grocery shopping."
"Um, what are we supposed to do about Mizuko?" Kagome asked as Inuyasha walked into the living room.
Inuyasha sighed.
…
Inuyasha could not believe Kagome. He was now beginning to realize why she had suggested costumes. So she could dress up more outlandish than ever. She was wearing an oversized, large brimmed, purple hat and oversized, novelty sunglasses.
He had just decided to wear a baseball cap, fake mustache and varsity jacket. It was the least ridiculous costume Kagome had available. "I cannot believe I agreed to do this."
Kagome rolled her eyes. "Stop complaining. Do you really want someone who knows you to figure out who you are?" She then turned to Mizuko, who she was holding in her arms, "Can't Daddy have fun?"
Inuyasha rolled his eyes. "You just love doing that don't you?" he mocked.
Kagome just laughed with Mizuko. Seemingly having not heard that.
They soon split up, Inuyasha going for the baby food and Kagome for the diapers. Kagome was heading towards Inuyasha when she bumped into someone.
"Oof! Pardon me," Miroku apologized.
Kagome froze. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit Shit. Mizuko giggled in her arms, pulling her hair.
Miroku squinted, "Kagome?"
Kagome needed to think of something quick. She had to fool him into thinking she was someone else. The longer he stood in front of her, the harder it was going to get. "Who do you think you're talking to, young man!" she screeched in a shrill, high and ultimately awful voice.
Miroku winced, "Sorry lady…" he held up his hands in surrender.
"You better be!" Kagome unleashed some of the attitude she reserved for only Inuyasha.
"I must've mistook you for someone else," Miroku commented and headed off, no doubt thinking rude and obscene thoughts about her and not his usual kind.
Kagome grinned, "I'm thankful you have…" Mizuko giggled and pulled on Kagome's hair.
-Inuyasha-
Inuyasha was looking for Mizuko's favourite kind. "C'mon, c'mon."
"Inuyasha?" he turned to find Miroku had discovered him and, surprisingly (yeah right!) seen through his disguise.
Screw this disguise. I'm just gonna lie. "Shut up, Miroku!" Inuyasha hushed, "Someone might hear you!"
"Inuyasha, it is you?" Miroku responded, "What are you doing with a mustache?"
Inuyasha ripped the mustache off.
"Oh…well what're you doing here? Buying," Miroku glanced at Inuyasha's hand, "Baby food?"
Inuyasha looked nervously at his hand and then up at Miroku. He quickly hid the baby food behind his back. "I'm not buying baby food!"
Miroku rolled his eyes. "Sure you're not."
"What are you doing in here?" Inuyasha needed to create a good enough lie to fool Miroku, this oughta buy him time. He needed to sound like he usually did when he had to blurt out the honest truth not like when he spoke those see-through lies…
"I was walking by when I thought I saw you," Miroku answered quickly. "Now, it's your turn."
Inuyasha glanced about and sighed. "I have an addiction."
"An addiction? To baby food…?" Miroku was in disbelief.
Inuyasha nodded, "I know, I know. Ridiculous. But yesterday I went to my cousin's house and had to feed her baby food. When she wouldn't eat it, I did the monkey see monkey do thing but I really liked it and ended up eating it all…"
"And you have an addiction…?" Miroku responded.
Inuyasha gulped and nodded looking pitiful. "I know but it's so good. And it comes in so many flavours like Ramen…"
Miroku sighed. "You, one day, are going to have so many food addictions you won't be fit you know. We're gonna need an intervention you know."
"Don't tell the others, okay?" Inuyasha replied, sounding more desperate than he liked, even if he was lying. "I don't want word spreading round about this…"
"And if Eriko finds out, word certainly will," Miroko nodded, "I won't tell a singled soul." Little did Inuyasha know, his fingers were crossed…
Inuyasha grinned, "Thanks, Miroku." Inuyasha figured he'd blab to the rest of them after he told them that he saw him here. My friends are so predictable…
Miroku waved goodbye and left the grocery store, forgetting why he had gone into the grocery store in the first place. He had had a pretty eerie experience. Almost seeing Kagome and then finding out Inuyasha has a baby food addiction… He totally had to tell the rest of the gang.
…
"Guys!" he cried as he ran into Eriko's house, "I just had the oddest experience at the grocery store!"
They all turned to him. Eriko stepped forward, "Unless it has anything to do with Inuyasha not being home, I really don't care."
"He was at the grocery store buying baby food," Miroku answered.
Bankotsu rose his eyebrow. "Baby food?"
"He has an addiction," Mirouk responded.
"Where was Kagome?" Eriko inquired miffed that they weren't at Kagome's house either.
"I don't know, but I thought I saw her. But it turned out to be this ridiculously dressed woman with this shrill and annoying voice. She hurt my ears…" Miroku muttered sounding a lot like Inuyasha. "She had this little girl."
Bankotsu and Eriko looked at each other knowingly. "They were at the grocery store."
"Both of them?" Sango asked, "But Miroku only saw Inuyasha?"
"Buying baby food and then he 'thought' he saw Kagome with a baby," Eriko answered.
Bankotsu turned to Miroku, "That woman looked just like Kagome, right?"
"Yeah, only her voice was like nails on a chalkboard and she had some attitude," Miroku complained. "Plus she was wearing this ridiculous get up, a large hat and some oversized sunglasses."
"Was Inuyasha in some costume, too?" Bankotsu asked.
Miroku nodded, "The usual baseball cap and a moustache."
Bankotsu and Eriko turned to each other and nodded. "They were definitely at the grocery store."
Sango started to put two and two together as well. "Obviously they were disguising themselves so they could buy baby supplies for that little girl. Whose little girl is that?"
"Theirs?" Yuki gasped, "Maybe they did get married!"
Bankotsu shot Yuki a warning glance, "Get back to your Death Note…"
Yuki nodded and quickly focused back on his obsession as Bankotsu so threateningly directed.
"Well, those two have got some explaining to do!" Eriko exclaimed.
I hoped you liked it...I just had to put in the grocery scenes.
Thanks to my faithful reviewers...
Inuyasha05
locainlove
BoredGirl17
Tsumetai-kaze
MoveBitch
ki tama onikkusu
kikyo-killer2.0
Jill-kun
Justapnut
inukag-lover1600
lolopptt
Instant Ramen is tha SHIT
