End of Chapter 21
He kissed me long and languidly. Our emotions manifested themselves in this dance of lips and souls with the sounds of nature as our soundtrack. We held each other and kissed some more, and time slipped by around us. Eventually, it was time for me to get home. Edward reluctantly drove me there, with those similar sentiments falling from our lips with our departure. I waved and walked into my house wrapped in this new emotion, this new era of my life. There were rough times ahead, but I was not going to be alone, and that gave me confidence to face what lay ahead.
Chapter 22: Disarm (EPOV)
The rest of December flew buy in a flurry of school, friends, and Bella. We still kept up our Sunday football ritual, which included my family, the Swans, the Clearwaters, and the Hales. We had become our own little tight knit group of friends and families. Bella and I were pretty sure that Sue and Charlie were dating now, though they still tried to keep it on the down low. I often think that they went out or had their own sleepovers whenever Bella was at school or staying over at our house.
My dad had sat me down shortly after Bella and I officially started dating and laid down a new set of firm rules for sleep over nights. Bella was not allowed anywhere near my room after 10pm at night. This wasn't such a big deal for us, since the Hales were usually here until midnight most weekends, and we were all hanging out playing games or watching movies. I assured my dad that I would remain a gentleman, and honestly, I was in no rush with Bella. I was enjoying every kiss and touch, and she was once again falling into distraction with Charlie's impending surgery.
Our last day of school before winter break was on Friday, and while the rest of the school was bouncing and ecstatic for the days end, I saw Bella slowly slip into her own mind and the day progressed. Winter break meant uncertainty, not joy for my girl. At lunch, I wrapped my arm around her and stroked her hair and told her how much I loved her. She curled into me and her labored breathing let me know she was trying to choke back tears. Alice and Rose shot me concerned looks from across the table, and I just gave them a half-hearted smile.
Charlie's surgery was on Monday, and we were all worried. Charlie had asked my parents if Bella could stay with us while he was in the hospital. Carlisle had arranged things with Olympic Medical Center, so he could perform Charlie's surgery there instead of in Seattle, so it would be easier for Bella to visit him. I would drive her there every day at the crack of dawn and stay with her until they kicked us out, if she wanted me to.
Bella usually spent Friday or Saturday night with us, but this weekend, she wanted to spend as much time as possible with Charlie before his surgery, and I wanted to give them their space. So, Friday night, I did something I never thought I would do. I went shopping with Alice. I was beat by the time we got home, and had just enough energy to call Bella.
"Hey there," she answered.
"Hi, beautiful," I sighed. "What are you up to?"
"Charlie and I ate dinner, and then decorated our Christmas tree," she tried to say happily, but I could hear the sadness that was laced in the joy. Bella feared so greatly that it would be their last.
"Are we going to have to drive to your house every day and water that thing?" I asked in fake exasperation.
"No," she laughed, "it's fake."
"Huh," I answered. "I never pegged Charlie to be a man who would allow a fake tree in his house."
"Have you seen all of the houseplants here?" Bella asked.
"No," I said tentatively trying to think of the plants in her house.
"Exactly," she said in a deadpan voice.
"Oh," I laughed.
She gave a contented sigh just then.
"What's that about?" I asked.
"I was just looking at the picture of us your mom took. The one of us on the couch two weekends ago," she said.
I smiled at the thought of the photo, which I also had framed in my room. Like always, the Hales were over and we were watching movies. Bella and I were curled up together on the couch. My mom had come through with her camera, and started snapping pictures of all of us. The picture Bella was looking at was of me sitting on the couch with Bella sitting between my legs. One of my legs was resting on the floor, and the other was stretched out along the back of the couch. I was looking down at Bella, and she was looking up at me, and we were both laughing. I loved the happiness in the picture, but more than anything, I stared for hours at the love you could see pouring out of our eyes.
"I miss you tonight," I mumbled.
"I miss you too, but I needed to be here," she said with a sorrowful finality.
"Hey, there," I said reproachfully. "None of that, or I will tell my dad you have little faith in his skills as a surgeon."
"You wouldn't!" She squeaked. I laughed. "Jerk."
"You love me," I said deeply.
"You know I do," she said resignedly.
"Well, I better let you go," I said looking over at the clock. "I need to get some sleep."
"Big day tomorrow," she said and I could hear her smile through the phone.
I shrugged to myself. Tomorrow was the first performance of the Winter Concert. Everyone was coming. I guess I should be nervous, but music is like breathing to me, and alone or in front of a concert hall full of people, it was no different for me.
"I can't wait to see you sitting front and center," I said.
"I can't wait for you to see what Alice helped me pick out to wear!" She said excitedly.
She had been teasing me about this all week. I just hoped I could stay focused, because a breath-taking Bella would be my only undoing at the concert.
"My dad called tonight to confirm our reservations for after," I noted. We were all going out to dinner at one of the finest restaurants in Seattle afterwards as a celebration of my concert and as Charlie's last supper, as he was referring to it.
"Good," Bella said. "My dad has been drooling over thoughts of their steak all week."
"I bet he has," I laughed.
"I've really got to get some sleep now," I said. "I love you, babe."
"I love you too, Edward," she returned. "Good-night."
"Good-night, love."
The next morning went by at a casual pace. Esme made my favorite breakfast of Belgian Waffles with strawberries and cream. I spent the latter part of the morning going over my songs in the music room. Bella had called at one point to say 'hi', and asked to be put on speakerphone so she could listen to me play while she folded laundry. She was working on packing for both she and Charlie for the week ahead.
I loved that Bella was going to be in my house every night for the next week, but was sick over the reason. I was terrified of the 'what ifs' of this situation. What if Charlie died? It would destroy Bella. Could she hold on to herself through something like that? Would I lose the girl…woman I was in love with? I would most certainly lose her physically, because she would have to go back to her mom. I suddenly was feeling my stomach drop out, and knew there was one person who could calm my nerves.
I walked up to the wooden door at the end of the hallway on the second floor and knocked quietly.
"Come in, Edward," I heard my father say from the other side of the door. I walked in and took the seat across the desk from him.
"How did you know it was me?" I asked.
"You each have your own way of knocking. Each very indicative to your personalities," he said with a quiet smile.
Things like knowing our knocks always filled me with love for my father. Despite being a busy surgeon and cancer researcher, he always had time for us. He knew us. The thought of Bella losing that made me sick all over again. Carlisle was quick to pick-up on my shift in mood.
"Worried about Charlie?" Carlisle asked.
"Yes," I barely choked out.
"Ye have little faith," he scoffed and crossed his arms over his chest. I laughed, and he smiled at the fact his attempt to lighten my mood worked.
"It's not that. You know it's not," I said running my hands through my hair and slouching back into the chair. "I just am scared for Bella. I am not worried about Charlie…" I cleared my throat suddenly choking on the word, "dying under your knife. It's just I've read the stats, dad. So has Bella. Even if things go perfectly, it's a when, not if, you know."
"Unfortunately, I do know," Carlisle said looking down at his hands that were resting flatly together in front of his chest. "But we are buying Charlie years, Edward, important years in Bella's life. He will get to see her graduate from high school. He might even get to see her graduate from college in the best-case scenario."
I breathed deeply and looked off to the side at the shelves of books in his office. I knew he was right. I couldn't help but think that Charlie might see Bella get married. A smile crept over my face at the thought that it might be me asking Charlie for Bella's hand someday. That it might be me whose hand he places Bella at the end of an aisle.
"What suddenly has you all a glow, son?" Carlisle asked with a smirk on his face. I blushed.
"Nothing," I said, and my dad was kind enough to let it go.
"We are all looking forward to tonight. Are you ready?" He asked.
"Naturally," I said with a cocky smirk.
"That's my boy!" He said getting up out of his chair. I did the same, and Carlisle came around the desk and pulled me into a hug. I hugged him back strongly trying to convey how much I loved and appreciated him. How thankful I was that he was my dad.
"Well, we should probably be getting ready to leave soon," Carlisle said looking over at the clock on the wall. "I am sure your mother and Alice have already started their preparations."
We both rolled our eyes and laughed, and left the room together. As we walked into the hallway, Emmett's door opened.
"Dad, can I borrow your gold 'C' cufflinks for tonight?" Emmett asked.
"You're wearing your suit?" I asked.
"Of course!" Emmett said. "I don't want to disappoint the ladies. I just am sorry you two will be overshadowed by my glory."
Dad and I both laughed, and I headed up to my room as Emmett followed dad to his room to get the cufflinks. I walked into my room to find my tux hanging from the door of my closet. Showering first to relax my muscles a bit before getting dressed seemed like a good plan. I shaved carefully, and then enjoyed a nice hot shower going through the music in my head as I did.
Once out, I slid into my boxers and wife beater. I combed through my hair and sighed at it. I thought about trying to tame it, but knew it would be everywhere by the time we got to Seattle, so I just walked away from that lost cause. I slid on my shirt and buttoned it all except the top button, then slid on my pants. Pulling up my suspenders, I began to tuck in my shirt and straighten myself. Just as I got situated, there was a knock at the door.
There stood Esme in a beautiful gold gown. Her hair was down in beautiful waves around her shoulders, and she was smiling widely at me.
"I came to see if you needed some assistance with your tie," she said.
"Yes, please," I said handing her the unfurled bow tie, and buttoning up my last button on my shirt.
She deftly tied the bow tie, and patted it into place as she looked up at me. I could see small tears glistening in the corners of her eyes.
"I am so proud of you, Edward," she said softly trying to hold back the tears. "Not just for the concert tonight, but for the man you are becoming."
"Thanks, mom," I said hugging her gently to me. "I love you."
"I love you, too, baby," she said stepping back and cupping my cheek in her hand. I leaned into the touch and closed my eyes. Once again, I was thankful for the love of my family.
"We need to leave in 15 minutes," she reminded me as she looked down at the thin gold watch on her wrist.
"OK," I said and grabbed my jacket off its hanger.
I walked over to my desk, and grabbed my wallet and phone. I sent off a quick text to Bella. She and Charlie were riding up to Seattle with Charlie and Sue. The Hales were riding with us.
Leaving soon. You? –E
Yep. Sue just got here. Nervous? –B
Excited. –E
You will be great! I love you! –B
I love you, too! I'll see you after! –E
I put my phone into my pocket, and slid my jacket over my arms giving myself one last look in the mirror before heading downstairs.
The concert went perfectly. Benaroya Hall was packed, and we all fed off the excitement of the large crowd. During my solo piece, I locked my eyes on Bella who was magnificent in a black dress with beading in an intricate design under her breasts. Her hair was half pulled up, and cascaded down her shoulders in gorgeous mahogany curls. But it was almost all lost to me, because he face was aglow with pride and love only for me. I don't think Für Elise has sounded so emotional since Beethoven himself played it.
When it was over, and the conductor released us after congratulating the group on a job well done, I quickly left to go find Bella and my family. When I rounded the corner, I saw them all congregated together talking and laughing. Almost instinctually, Bella turned and met my eyes. She hurried toward me as quickly as I was striding towards her, and she threw herself into my arms.
"You were wonderful!" She squealed clutching me tight around my neck. I leaned back and kissed her chastely before setting her on her feet.
"It helps that my muse looks divine this evening," I said brushing my thumb over her cheek. She blushed and lowered her eyes.
Everyone came over and congratulated me on a job well done, and then we all piled in cars and headed off to dinner. The meal itself was wonderful, and it was full of stories and laughter. I couldn't help but notice, looking around the table, that it was a table full of couples. I looked at Charlie and Bella. They were both laughing as Bella tried to stop Charlie from telling the story about her being caught digging through his closet looking for her Christmas presents. In that moment, there was no cancer. There was no black cloud. There was only joy. I clung to this moment, and hoped they were both tucking this one away into their permanent memories as well.
As we all picked through and traded bites of desserts, the conversation did shift to the upcoming surgery.
"So, what time is my cut-off tomorrow again, Carlisle?" Charlie asked motioning to his stomach.
"Always thinking with your stomach," Sue scolded lightly bumping Charlie with her elbow. He gave a fake moan, and then leaned over to kiss her forehead. Bella looked down shying away from the display of affection, but she had a wide smile on her face.
"You are good to eat hearty during the game tomorrow," Carlisle said, "but only a light salad or something for dinner."
Charlie scrunched up his face at the word 'salad', and Bella laughed. He scowled at her, and then winked. I reached under the table and took Bella's hand in mine. She looked up at me smiling brightly. Charlie looked down to where we were holding hands, and gave a soft smile in Bella's direction. Another milestone not missed, I thought.
Bella kept a hold of my hand as we all left the restaurant. We walked to our cars together. Everyone hugged or shook hands, exchanging 'see you tomorrow's. As Rose, Alice, and my mom were hugging Bella, I felt a tug on my elbow. It was Charlie, and he had a serious face on. Oh shit.
"Edward, can I have a quick word with you?" He pulled me off to the side of the group. I swallowed hard.
"Yes, sir," I said trying to be cool.
"This surgery thing is going to be hard on Bells. She is too much like her old man. She keeps everything on the inside, and tries to keep her emotions to herself. I'm worried about her," he said running his hand over his mustache. "I need you to do something for me, son."
"Yes, Charlie, anything," I said quickly.
"I see the way you look at her, and I know your intensions with her are honorable. I see the way she looks at you, and I know it is you who she will turn to," he said putting his hand on my shoulder and looking me in the eye. "Take care of my girl, Edward. Take care of her while I can't."
"Yes, sir. I will," I promised. He nodded, patted me on the shoulder, and headed to his car.
I felt Bella's small arms slide around my waist, and I looked down into her eyes and smiled. That was the easiest promise I had ever made.
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A/N: Thank-you so much for everyone's patience for this update. My ex-step-dad passed away this past week. I have had a hard time watching my siblings be half-orphaned. This big sister has done her best to carry them through, but my emotions are still raw.
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