Author's Note: A huge thanks goes out again to those of you who read and reviewed that last chapter. Things are still a little up in the air so to speak, but Brennan's working through things. There's a promised BB scene here as I said there would be, and an appearence by Sweets. I'm loving writing this just so you know, so I hope you all still enjoy reading it.
All reviews are read and treasured. Thanks a million!
Booth had been finishing paperwork in his office when he got the call from Hodgins. The concern in the entomologist's voice was enough to convince Booth the man wasn't asking, but pretty much telling him he needed to come over. Sighing, Booth quickly told Hodgins he'd be over as soon as he could. He slipped the file under his arm, thinking he could just finish later at home.
When he arrived at the Hodgins estate, Angela had already gotten home and was quick to let him in. "They're in the kitchen." She offered upon meeting him at the door.
"What happened?" Booth asked in return. His eyes flicked around, intend on finding the source of the problem.
Angela simply offered a shrug. "I don't know the whole story, I just got back home. Hodgins picked Bren up from her appointment with Doctor Weston, and I guess on their way home something triggered a memory." She replied. "I just don't see how this is fair."
"What do you mean?" Booth replied, torn between feeling overjoyed that the memories were real and coming back, and feeling upset over the way it was happening.
"Bren's doing everything she can, you know? She wants to do the best she can, and then something like this happens. It's almost discouraging." Angela crossed her arms and diverted her gaze, unwilling to let Booth see how upset the whole ordeal was making her.
Booth looked in the direction of the kitchen and nodded. "I know what you mean, but this is Bones. She's not gonna give up."
Angela nodded in reply before uncrossing her arms and following his gaze. "Just go in there, see if you can help."
When he entered the room, Brennan was poised at the kitchen table while Hodgins was passing her a glass of water. Booth locked eyes with the man and nodded; whatever was going to happen, he wanted to have a hand in helping. He watched as Hodgins left the room before sitting across from Brennan. "Do you wanna talk about what happened?"
Brennan traced lines in the condensation on her glass. She shook her head before drawing in a deep breath. "I'm fine."
Booth reached out and placed a hand over her wrist. He waited until she looked up to speak. "That's not what I asked, Bones. You remembered something, didn't you?"
The warmth from his hand caused electricity to shoot through her, or at least that was what it felt like. She moistened her lips, unsure of the power she held over her own voice. The way she had shouted his name earlier while in the car with Hodgins brought forward something she'd never felt before. The idea that she felt something-whatever it was, because Brennan had yet to find a word for it-at remembering that moment in their lives scared her a little. "Hodgins and I were driving past an accident on our way here. I'm not completely certain of what it was that triggered it, but I remembered, Booth." She said. Her voice trembled a little, but she continued. "I remembered the accident."
Booth sat back and felt all the air leave him. He knew the moment would come eventually, or at least suspected it would, but the fear in her voice made him freeze. "Bones, that's terrific. I mean-" He shifted his position and poised his elbows on the table, trying to focus her attention on him. "I know it's not the best thing to remember, but it's still something. It's a part of your life you're fortunate enough to get back."
Brennan shrugged and sighed, her gaze shifting from him to the walls around them. She'd only been there for a short while, but she felt comfortable. There were a few paintings, none of them really professional but simply nature pieces, while the rest of the wall was covered in typical or expected items; a calendar, a phone hanging against the wall, a box connected to the security system, and a clock. The dark cabinets, made of a wood she wasn't entirely certain of the name of, adorned the wall and wrapped around the corner. Plenty of space to cook in and live in, she thought, and it's something she might expect when thinking of the people who lived there. She closed her eyes when she felt Booth's thumb stroke the soft skin of her wrist. "I feel-" She began falsely. Words hung all around them, there for the taking, and yet she couldn't seem to latch onto the right ones. "I was scared."
Booth nodded as he heard her speak in such honesty. He knew it was an important moment for her, for them even, and he was willing to sit there for as long as it took. The promise he made her wasn't about to fade or go away. He wasn't about to forget. "I know you were."
"No, I don't think you do." Brennan replied. "I've been trapped in this awkward situation, where there are people around me who know what happened, who witnessed it with their own eyes. Then there's me, the one who basically has to take a crash course in the life I had before. What happened with Hodgins today was just the beginning. I can only hope that whatever happens next when I regain another piece of my past is something far less violent and alarming."
"Aren't you the least bit happy you actually did remember something?" Booth asked. He asked the question even though he was afraid of hearing her answer. If she said no, Booth wasn't sure he could handle it.
"I suppose that I am, yes. You were there when it happened, Booth. Didn't you find the situation frightening?" Brennan asked, her blue eyes locking with his. They were filled with so many things he had to work hard at defining them all. She was afraid and frustrated, and yet at the same time she found herself happy. A confusing situation made all the more complicated by the man sitting across from her.
His mouth hung open, and for just a moment he found himself back there, too. Her voice shattering what had only a few seconds before been a calm environment with a scream he probably would never forget crossed his mind. "Of course it was. Aside from these past few months, this whole year has been that way. Waking up and wondering of you'd be doing the same thing that day, hearing the doctors as they told me there had been no improvement. Thinking-" Booth pulled his hand away from her and rubbed the grit from his eye. "I went over that ride so many times, Bones. The argument we were having, the moment the light turned green. I kept thinking there was something I could have done differently."
"It wasn't your fault, Booth. The man driving the truck-" Brennan's eyes lit up. "He ran the light, he was swerving in the road and even though you tried avoiding him, he crashed into the passenger side of our vehicle."
Hearing the emotion running through her voice, the excitement in her tone as she recalled what happened, was enough to make him physically ache. Booth lifted out of his chair, wanting so badly in that second to simply hug her and hold her, but upon realization he quickly sat back down. An awkward silence blanketed the kitchen, daring the both of them to speak, but Booth wasn't certain of what to say.
"There was something else I remembered." Brennan's voice came out more clear and steady, something he wasn't entirely sure of how to feel about. The grain of the wood in the table, the fact that the color matched the stain of the cabinets, she tried hard to focus on anything but the eyes of the man who was surely looking over at her. Even though she wasn't prepared to see his reaction to his statement, she stared at his hands as they sat on the table. "Before the impact, I grabbed your hand."
Booth's back stiffened. He watched as she simply sat, somewhat uncomfortable and yet at the same time trying her hardest to be otherwise. When he found her blue eyes looking back at him, he nearly gasped. It was dramatic he knew, but it was just one of the things she did to him.
"I know that it's not a significant piece of information, but given what I learned the other day, it seems somewhat more valuable." Brennan replied. She waited, wondering if he'd say something, but found that she'd have to think about why she felt disappointed when he doesn't say anything later after he left. "Should I not have told you? I understand how you feel about me and I can see why my not being on the same level as you might make you feel awkward in this sort of situation, but I was hoping-"
"Temperance," Booth whispered her name, almost reverently, and he smiled. "I'm glad you told me."
Brennan's throat swelled tight. She called upon her scientific reasoning, about whatever hormones were reacting in that moment, and used that as her reason why. "Why couldn't you have just told me? I know that what happened today was somewhat shocking, but the fact is that I'm perfectly fine."
"Are you?" Booth asked. Just like that, he felt the serenity of the moment they were having slowly begin to slip away. She was already working at sliding the coat of security she wrapped so tight around herself back on, and it scared him. He wasn't sure of when she'd let it down again. "Talk to me here, Bones. All I wanna do is help you."
While she knew Booth was probably right, Brennan knew underneath he'd still be hoping for something more. "Can I get you something to drink? I'm sorry for the fact Hodgins had to call you away from work."
The awkward way she put together those sentences was evidence enough that she was growing nervous again. "Call me, anytime. Don't worry about it."
Brennan nodded and offered a smile. She felt it, however illogical that would be, the fact that the conversation was slowly slipping away from them. "Thank you for coming by."
Booth stood and gripped the back of the chair. "I mean it, Bones. If there's ever anything you need, I mean I know you're still upset with me, but I just want to help."
"I know you do." Brennan replied. She knew he would be leaving soon, and the fact that she felt a little sad about it confused her. While she knew their situation, she still felt that the one man she always knew she could trust keeping something that big from her wasn't something she could easily let go of. "Booth?" She called just as he reached the door.
It was childish and giddy, but Booth found himself hoping to hear the words he hadn't heard her say in he couldn't remember how long. "Yeah?"
Brennan smiled awkwardly, her fingers lightly wrapped around her glass, and she raised it to him. "I meant what I said as well. While I'm not entirely certain what to make of this situation, I do know I'm thankful that you came by today."
The inside of Sweets' office wasn't entirely what Brennan expected. It was smaller with several bookshelves, but boxes still covered a fair portion of the floor. "I thought you said you'd be an instructor this semester?"
Sweets set a book on his desk and looked up. "Doctor Brennan, I wasn't expecting you until later. Please, sit down."
Brennan nodded and did as she was told. She glanced around the room, taking in their surroundings. "I apologize if I've interrupted anything, it appears as if you're busy unpacking."
Sweets grabbed his notebook and took the seat next to her. "Don't worry about it, I've got plenty of time. Now, is there anything I can get you?" He asked. "Are you comfortable?"
"Yes," Brennan nodded in confirmation. She crossed her legs and clasped her hands against them. "I'm fine. Was there a particular meaning for this specific meeting, because I'm not entirely sure how much this is supposed to help." She caught the look in his eye and shook her head. "I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to offend you. I know I asked you for your assistance, but I'm feeling a little lost at the moment."
Nodding, Sweets knew what she must have been feeling. He watched as she twitched, adjusting her sleeves and uncrossing her legs, and knew she was agitated. "I understand. I'd like to take a moment to remind you that nothing you say leaves this room unless of course you'd like it to. The only people who know are you and me, and obviously since I'm assisting you, your doctors may be privy to your progress, but no specific information unless I'm given permission."
"Thank you, Sweets, but I'm aware of the process." Brennan replied. She started fiddling with the pendant on her necklace. It wasn't like she didn't want to be there, because even though she doubted psychology as a whole, she knew that some part of her apparently trusted Sweets enough to let him try to help.
"That's a beautiful necklace." Sweets pointed out. If he could get her comfortable, Sweets thought, then maybe they could start talking.
Brennan smiled and nodded in reply. "Yes it is." She confirmed. "Parker...he got it for me."
Sweets was scribbling something down in his notebook when she spoke. He looked up in interest. "You remembered that? Or was that particular piece of information given to you?"
"Booth told me." Brennan replied. She wished she could have told him that it was indeed something she remembered, but as of yet that memory hadn't actually returned. "Could I ask you a question?"
While he wasn't quite sure how to react at the abrupt change, he knew it was all part of the process. "Absolutely. What is it that you'd like to ask?"
Brennan eyed the star pendant on her necklace. She watched as the light coming in from Sweets' office window reflected off and shone bright. "Were you still counseling Booth and I when we became a couple?"
The question surprised him a little, but he'd already been told the revelations Brennan had while at her family's house the previous week. "As much as I'd like to say I was, I left D.C. before then. May I ask why you're interested?"
"I'm not entirely certain, I'm just trying to determine the length of our relationship. I feel as if I'm out of the ring whenever we're in the same room, as if there is some big secret he and everyone else is privy to that I'm not completely aware of." Brennan replied. While she knew she was trying, it still felt as if there was nothing else she could do. Speaking with Sweets wasn't entirely something she felt sure about, but she still believed there was a chance. That chance was strong enough for her to at the least try.
"Loop, actually, but I know what you're saying. You're suggesting that you feel left out, even if it's your own life, and you're feeling frustrated as the days go by and you don't make progress." Sweets replied. He knew he'd hit the nail on the head so to speak, but was surprised when Brennan stood and stalked across his office. "Doctor Brennan?"
"I didn't come here today to have you tell me how I feel." Brennan replied. She picked a book up out of the box sitting to her right and put it on the shelf.
"Then why are you here? It's not a secret that you have a distaste for psychology, so why are you suddenly interested in my assistance?" He knew he was pressing a fine line, but if the ball was in her court, he was hoping it would be more likely that she'd open up.
Brennan had her back turned to him, adjusting the books on his shelf, and turned to face him. She watched as little dust motes floated in the air between them, swimming in the stream of sunlight provided by the open curtain. "I came here because I was hoping to retain a piece of my life. I'd like to have my memories back, Sweets, and you telling me how I feel isn't going to make the process any smoother."
"I apologize, Doctor Brennan. I was only trying to help you, but that's exactly my point. If you feel threatened by anything said or done, I'd like you to tell me. My goal is to help you remember." Sweets replied. He pointed to the shelf behind where she stood. "May I ask why you're putting my books away?"
Brennan shrugged and blushed a little, as she was holding another book in her hands. She worried the frayed top of the spine with her thumb. "You have a lot of boxes here. I guess what I was doing was trying to help with the organization in your office, because in case you haven't noticed, it's rather disorganized in here."
He was amazed sometimes how she could help and yet kind of insult someone in the same breath. "You were trying to help, and I thank you. However, I'd like to point out the fact that helping me here isn't going to make things more organized in your life. Like the fact that you're married to Agent Booth. When you discovered that fact, how did it make you feel?" He asked. He watched as she walked to the window behind his desk. She was trying, even if she was struggling, to form an answer. Waiting for it was making him feel uneasy.
"I don't think I know how I feel at the moment. I know what everyone around me thinks I feel, including you, but I don't know what I feel myself." Brennan replied with a shrug. She stared down at her hands, eyes honing in on her ring finger. She'd yet to try on her ring again, didn't think there was a reason to, but she knew eventually the subject would come up again in the future. "I remembered the accident."
Sweets settled in his chair. The conversation would have to go at her pace for the time being. "The accident that caused you to go into a coma? That must have been pretty bad for you, remembering something like that."
She thought about it for a moment before shaking her head. "No, I don't think it was." Brennan replied as she turned to face him.
"What do you mean?" Sweets frowned, confused by her uncertainty.
Brennan shrugged, confused by her uncertainty as well. "I'm very glad that I remembered. While it was shocking at the time, it's one more thing that fits with everything else. Truthfully, that doesn't bother me."
A quick note was scrawled onto Sweets' notepad. "Then what does?"
Brennan sighed and crossed her arms. A defensive move, but one that made her feel at least a little bit more at ease. "The way I reacted afterward."
