Identity Lost

Disclaimer: Gundam Wing and its characters, I do not own.

WARNING: There may be some sexual content in this chapter and I'm afraid it might get more adult in the chapters ahead. If there's anyone out there who thinks I should change the rating for this fic, please let me know! Thanks in advance and enjoy!

Three – The Death of a Queen

His immortal soul shall hang lifelessly in waiting until the return of his Queen.

Two days have passed and there was still no sign of Relena. Everyone grew suspicious when she didn't show up at work the next day. Frantic phone calls were made citywide and the soldiers with lighter workloads were requested to drop their current assignments and join the search team. Despite their desperate attempts of finding her, she was nowhere to be found. Within hours of Preventers' search efforts, the media caught a sniff of the possibilities for a headline and raced to Preventer Headquarters like a swarm of cockroaches. News reporters, with notepads and microphones at the ready, bombarded Preventer spokesmen with questions and demands in regards to the rumor relating to Relena's disappearance.

No matter what answers they threw to the media, they refused to comment on the issue and finally managed to dissuade the crowd from lingering by the entrance.

When the pilots were informed of the situation, it felt surreal. How could they have let down their guard? Everything was going so well the night before and now the world was crashing down around all of them. Duo knew it was hitting Heero the hardest since he was the last person to see her. They all knew that Heero must have been taking the blame for not being able to see her safely home that night.

While the former Gundam Pilots gathered in the 'war room,' Heero refused to join the group and contemplated the situation alone, facing the city landscape from the east window.

"So, what's the plan?" Trowa asked by way of starting the meeting. Silence greeted him in return. They didn't even know where to begin. Was it an attack by terrorists or the opposition? There was nowhere to begin.

"How about we spread through our own channels and see what we can dig up? No use sitting here like idle ducks." Duo suggested. He was referring to their contacts from different corners of the world. Duo was still amazed how far their arms reached across the span of six continents.

The men nodded in agreement and left the room. Quatre noticed that Heero didn't make the slightest move from his corner. Before leaving he made one quick comment, not really sure whether Heero was listening or not,

"We'll find her, you know. She's waiting for us to bring her back home." He didn't even acknowledge Quatre a response so the blond pilot closed the door softly behind him.


Zechs became involved with the search. Due to his sister's abrupt disappearance, he had no choice but to come out of hiding and lead the task force. However, all their efforts proved futile. Nothing was turned up, not even a strand of hair.

Days turned into weeks, weeks dragged onto months…months merged into years. Within the first year, Preventers threw in the towel and left it as an unsolved case. Three years later, the world gave up and announced her 'death.' A memorial service was even aired live on television and Zechs walked onto the platform looking like he'd been hit by a ton of bricks, thanking everyone for their condolences and saying a few words for Relena. It seemed apparent that even he gave up the search. All Preventer staff members and the former Gundam Pilots, minus one, attended the service as well, dressed in solemn black attire. The entire world paid their respects to the former Queen. Despite her title as the Vice Foreign Minister, citizens still saw her as their Queen as was revered as such. They couldn't believe she was truly gone.

Heero watched the ceremony silently in his bachelor's pad, lying face up on the couch, an arm tossed over his face in defeat. He refused to accept the outcome… Relena was still alive. They just weren't trying hard enough or maybe it didn't really matter. Whether they spent three more years or thirteen more years, the outcome may turn out the same as today. She couldn't be found so they assumed the worst.

Why couldn't he find her? All those years in training were for naught. Everything in his life was a farce. He couldn't even remember the last time he made contact with the other pilots or any other life for that matter. The Perfect Soldier shied away from all contact and preferred to be left alone. Since everyone lost hope, the chances of him finding her again were slim to none. All facets of information channels shut their doors at him. Her disappearance became an obsession. She will remain as his only unaccomplished mission, the one that got away and he loathed the feeling.


A few days later, Zechs paid him an unexpected visit and he regrettably opened the door. What else was he supposed to do? Refuse to let him in?

"I apologize for this meeting." He began. "Heero, I just want to offer my thanks for your years of service. I know how much you meant to her." He didn't say anything in reply. Throughout the years of searching, Heero closed further into himself and didn't grace anyone with words but mere glances.

"So, this is it." The man said. "I hope never to see you again." And he left just as quickly as he appeared.

"Same to you, Zechs." He muttered under his breath before returning to the dark recesses of his apartment. The next several days came to a blur for him, not really sure what to do with the rest of his miserable existence. Heero's depression was droned out with hard liquor as he drank himself to a zombie-like stupor every night. Nothing mattered anymore.

While attempting to wobble home from the bar in his intoxicated state one night, a prostitute with 99-cent mascara approached him.

"Hey handsome. Looking for a good time?" She slurred her words while batting her eyelashes. The hot pink halter-top clung to her body like a second skin and gave nothing to the imagination. One look at her and the intent was obvious.

The woman had soft brown hair that trailed down her back. Could it be Relena?

"Yes…" He whispered softly, not sure how much he drank that night. All those bottles he nursed must have impaired his thinking but he didn't care. The next thing he knew, they were both lying naked in a hotel room and he was enjoying every sensation of pushing his strained body into hers. Soon all thoughts faded into darkness and for those brief minutes, he didn't have to remember who he was… and he liked it.

He was a changed man. Heero's life became engulfed in alcoholism and having sex every night, not necessarily with the same woman. Screwing the hell out of a woman moaning and arching beneath him was the only solace he could find. What did that say about his character? He didn't know anymore nor did he care. It became such a mundane routine to him that he couldn't even tell the difference between day and night.


"Mima! It's your break time. You have ten minutes." Samantha shouted to the younger waitress on the other side of the family-owned Restaurant and Pub, Hieronymous.

Mima pulled off her apron that accompanied the uniform and stepped outside into the midnight air. If she had a choice, she would never have agreed to work in such unsanitary conditions where the atmosphere was cloaked with half-drunk customers looking for a good lay in the sack and a blanket of smoke from hundreds of cigarettes. Has it already been ten years? Mima's last memory was waking up at her current home and her parents tried explaining to her who she was and what happened to her.

A bike accident was what they told her. Something about falling off while riding really fast? She couldn't remember the details. Her mother, Samantha, and father, Harry, told her many stories about her childhood but none of those memories seemed to fit.

"You're Mima, our daughter. It's going to be difficult for your memory to come back but just remember that you're part of the family. There's really nowhere for you to go so you might as well just stay here." Sam explained to her ten years ago. Mima remembered being very confused but none of her questions were ever answered.

And so she stayed living with her parents and older sister named Jezzie. While Mima straightened her newly dyed coal black, shoulder length, hair from the forces of the wind, she gazed at the stars and tried to search for the answers that she knew weren't there. Who was she, really?

Once her hair was somewhat set to straights, her fingers unconsciously wound their way to her necklace, the dove. That was the only piece in her life that offered her a peace of mind. She hated the pun but it was true. Mima was adamant about never taking it off. For some reason, everything in life felt hollow save the necklace.

Mima glanced at her watch and noticed that her break was almost over and quickly turned back to the pub. Perhaps one day she would regain her memory and understand why the necklace holds such importance to her.

Yeah, right! Mima's been telling herself that for years and she had worn the thought raw.

"Mima, hurry back inside! The customers are thirsty!" Jezzie scolded her as she opened the door to let her back in.

TBC