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Bundle of Joy
Inuyasha rolled his eyes. "Exactly what I said." Then he plunked himself on the couch and flipped on the television.
Kagome rolled her eyes and went back to playing with Mizuko. There was a moment of peace and near tranquility until…
"What's sex?" Mizuko asked, innocently.
Inuyasha and Kagome stiffened. There was a moment of silence until Mizuko cleared her throat and asked again. "What's sex? Tell me! Tell me!" She pouted and flailed her arms every which way.
Inuyasha and Kagome exchanged glances, silently arguing over who would handle this one and of course, Inuyasha lost.
"Uh...um..." Inuyasha stuttered, unsure of how to even begin to answer the question, "W-where d-did you hear that word?"
Mizuko looked thoughtful for a moment. "The firs time was when Daddy said it, Daddy."
Kagome glared at Inuyasha as he tried to remember when he could have ever been stupid enough to blurt that out in front of Mizuko.
...flashback...
Eri shook her head, "You guys should've been smart enough to use protection at least!"
"WE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!" Kagome screeched.
Inuyasha took a deep breath, "Do I have to spell it out for you? W-E space D-I-D space N-O-T space H-A-V-E space I-N-T-E-R-C-O-U-R-S-E. WE DID NOT, I REPEAT, NOT HAVE INTERCOURSE. As in,we are both still virgins. I have not 'deflowered' Kagome. I did not partake in an inappropiate act, in which children are created. No one has 'broken the seal'. Mizuko was not created in the joining of my sperm to a Kagome's egg. She contains no amount of my DNA or Kagome's. WE DID NOT HAVE SEX!!!!! Do you get it now?" Inuyasha was panting by this time. "What is up with you girls and not listening."
...end of flashback...
Inuyasha just glared at Kagome right back. "It was your stupid friends' faults, baka, not mine!"
Kagome quickly realized the incident he was referring to. "Oh, well still you could've chose your words better!"
"Could I have?" Inuyasha asked, arms folded.
Kagome sighed, "No, not really..."
"Exactly!" Inuyasha answered triumphantly.
Mizuko pouted, "What about sex!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Inuyasha and Kagome were horribly thrust back to the topic at hand, the uncomfortable, awkward topic at hand.
"Um...why didn't you ask then?" Inuyasha asked awkwardly, all though he vaguely remember her barely being able to talk, "Or...er...sooner?"
Mizuko seemed thoughtful for her moment, her blue eyes reflecting the inner workings of her mind. "I forgot. But then Hiromi oba-chan said it. Then she told me to ask Daddy and Mommy because they'd know all about it."
Inuyasha and Kagome traded enraged expressions before returning to Mizuko.
"See...uh....er...Hiromi lied to you, Mizuko," Inuyasha's voice twisted into an evil grin, "Mommy and Daddy don't know much at all about it. Hiromi is a big fat liar," Inuyasha then bent down to Mizuko and whispered, "She's a big fat liar who only said that because she doesn't like Mommy or Daddy. She was being a meanie and making Mizuko do bad, making Mizuko do very bad."
Mizuko's eyebrows furrowed in rage. "Hiromi oba-chan is a meanie! Mizuko no like Hiromi oba-chan anymore!"
Kagome rose an eyebrow and Inuyasha who merely mouthed 'this is my revenge, ain't it sweet?' Kagome grinned and replied, 'like candy, just like candy.' Then they shared an evil laugh that rang out against the walls.
"What's fuck mean then?" Mizuko asked, "Banky oji-chan said it when he got a booboo."
"Um...it's a Bankotsu word," Inuyasha cut in, "No one else is supposed to say it Mizuko."
Kagome went along hastily, "Yes, Mizuko you just did very, very bad, honey!"
Mizuko's bottom lip trembled as her cobalt eyes welled up in tears. Inuyasha and Kagome tried a glance then added hurriedly, "But we won't tell anyone ever, never ever."
"Never ever?" Mizuko asked.
Before Kagome could answer in the usual stupid fashion, Inuyasha interjected, "Cross our hearts and hope to die."
Mizuko seemed satisfied but then her face took on a look of confusion. "Um...Daddy, what does condom mean?"
Inuyasha and Kagome gave each other a nervous look. Inuyasha sighed, "Mizuko, how many questions like this do you have?"
Mizuko looked down at her fingers then looked back up at her parents. "I can't count that high, Daddy."
Inuyasha and Kagome traded another worried glance. That could be a really bad sign, I mean, sure Mizuko could only count to ten but...still...
...
Inuyasha slumped down into bed, completely exhausted from today's events. Mizuko had so many goddamn inquiries about things he was nowhere near comfortable talking about with anyone especially Mizuko. Then she had some questions about stuff he didn't even know about... And as always he ended up doing most of the question answering as Kagome was a lazy bitch.
He exhaled, "Damn Kagome." He rolled over then thought about some of the stuff she said today.
"I don't know, maybe I was a little busy seeing as how I suddenly became a SINGLE MOTHER, YOU SON OF A-"
"I'm just saying, you could stand to be without her when you could be with Kikyo,"
"You let her out of your sight for like three goddamn months!"
"I WAS NOT THINKING ABOUT YOU! I DON'T THINK ABOUT YOU! WHY WOULD I THINK ABOUT YOU?!"
Inuyasha seemed startled that that had worked its way into his recap.
"Which is more important, Kagome? The fact that I decided to spend time with my girlfriend up until yesterday or the fact that little Mizuko is MISSING RIGHT NOW?"
Why on earth had he said something like that? "Where did that come from?" he gasped, thinking back.
"Maybe if you didn't think about me so much, Mizuko wouldn't be missing."
Inuyasha felt a blush creep onto his face. "D-did I really say that?" Inuyasha felt so stupid, he couldn't even remember half the stop he said. Then out of nowhere he remember holding Kagome's hand. "Where are these memories coming from?" The blush only deepened. "I need to stop thinking," he sighed then quickly added, "That did not come out the way it should have. Why am I talking to myself?" He felt like he was going crazy.
Kagome turned to him and smiled, "Because I saw something that I didn't wanna see…that I was afraid to see…but I had to see anyway…" Then she turned and walked away.
Inuyasha blinked, "She said that so long ago, why am I remembering this stuff now?"
Kagome took a deep breath. "This is exactly what I'm talking about! You've always gotta be with her! Don't you ever get tired of hanging around her!"
"Huh?" Inuyasha cried, "WTF is wrong with my memory today? Everything is coming in all scrambly for no reason at all! I mean, why am I remembering this stuff...why now? Why the hell am I talking to myself, still!!!!"
"Your friends miss you and all, in case you hadn't noticed! At least a couple of minutes a day, but no… all of a sudden you need to be at Kikyo's side 24/7. Just because of a kiss that only almost happened!"
"Why am I remembering all this, I've already fixed it! Goddamnit!" Inuyasha screamed.
"Just because of a kiss that only almost happened!"
Inuyasha felt a blush creep up on him for the second time that night. "What...? What's up with me?"
"You love her after all,"
"What...wait?" Inuyasha felt his heart pounding. "Kagome said that to me about Kikyo. Why am I freaking out over that memory?"
"Why do you all of sudden care so much, Kagome?"
Inuyasha clutched his chest. "Why in the hell do I say stuff like that..."
"Because! I-I-I miss you, Inuyasha," Kagome answered, tearing, "I really do."
Inuyasha felt his heart skip a beat. "Wh-what? What's going on with me?"
"You never seem to tear your eyes away from Kikyo."
Inuyasha shook his head. "You're wrong about that Kagome." And he shocked himself.
"Is it bad that I wanted to hug her, Kikyo? Is it?"
Inuyasha's eyes widened in realization. "Am I...?"
I missed her too. And when I thought I heard…my heart leaped.
Inuyasha gasped, "There's no way I-"
"I love you," Kagome replied her voice barely a whisper.
Inuyasha's eyes widened again. "Oh...my...gawd..."
"Daddy!" Mizuko appearance at his door, startled him. She stood there, rubbing her eyes and pouting.
"What is it?" Inuyasha sat up.
Mizuko took a deep breath. "SHUT UP!" Then Mizuko turned mumbling about the time of night.
Inuyasha was angry for a moment then sighed in relief, "What in the hell am I thinking? I'm being ridiculous." Then he dozed off.
Almost darn it, he almost got it! Drat, ah well...he's dense it just takes a lot more than usual. I hope y'all ain't too pissed.
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