Author's Note: I've been busy trying to plan for a paper this past week, so I wasn't able to get out personal replies, but please know I'm thankful for your reaction. Each and every review I get lets me know someone out there actually enjoys what I write. The reason I say it like that is because of a reply I recently received over on LJ basically calling fanfic a fake genre and "literary theft".
Anyway, I was going to cut this chapter off a bit sooner than I did, but I decided to be nice. To be honest, this is one of my favorite chapters I've written so far. I did struggle with keeping Brennan in character. I suppose that's normal at times, right? Reviews are amazing, so please leave me one letting me know what you liked/didn't like. Thank you!
Brennan's mouth hung open as she set down the knife she was holding on the cutting board. She eyed the pizza box in his hands with disdain. "Oh."
Booth shook his head in disbelief, almost not wanting to believe what he was seeing. Brennan was standing there, hand poised against her hip while something was frying in the pan and vegetables layed ready for cooking on the board before her. It was almost like the past year and a half hadn't happened. But of course it had, which left him frozen in the doorway of the kitchen waiting for some form of explanation. "What are you doing here, Bones? I mean...I'm really not complaining, I'm just kinda curious."
"I didn't realize you'd be bringing home anything, so I started dinner. I figured with you and Zack running around all day, you could use the home-cooked meal." Brennan offered. She would have gone further in detail had the blond haired boy not come barreling into the room.
"Dad, I waited, but it didn't sound like-" Parker paused upon seeing her, and he not so gently shoved his father out of the way. "Bones! I missed you so much." Parker wrapped his arms tight around her waist before smelling what was cooking. "Eww. You're not making spinach for dinner, are you? 'Cause I don't like that. Besides, Dad bought pizza."
Brennan smiled as she gave his shoulder a squeeze. "Yes, I remember that you don't like spinach. I actually wasn't expecting you to be-"
"Wait." Parker interrupted, eyes growing wide in hope. "Does this mean you're back? Like, we're gonna live together and be a family again?"
Booth watched as Brennan stammered, her calm exterior faltering for just a second, and he stepped forward. "Let's just start with dinner, bud. How much longer 'til all that's done?"
Brennan mouthed the words 'thank you' over Parker's head again as he hugged her. "About half an hour, so it won't be too long."
"Great," Booth put the pizza down on the island in the middle of the room before turning and clapping his hands. "Parker, you can go put your stuff in your room. After that, you can come wash your hands and help me set up the table."
After watching him leave the room Brennan returned to chopping the vegetables, knowing Booth would probably say something, but she hoped she'd have a chance to explain first. Moving closer to the stove, she stirred the spinach as well as the almonds that were toasting in the pan. "Could you hand me the pepper?"
"Could you explain what's going on here?" Booth asked, still too stunned to do much else.
Brennan set the spoon down on its cradle a little more loudly than she would have liked. "I wasn't expecting Parker to be here. I have a good reason, I promise you, but let's just get through dinner first."
He wasn't sure whether he should be happy or afraid from the tone she was using. He opted for casual acceptance as he grabbed her the pepper. "Well, it smells good. What are we having?" Booth saw Parker walking past in the hallway, presumably heading to the living room to watch cartoons. "Just know I'm holding you to that, alright? Parker? I thought I asked you to come help set the table."
Dinner went by without a hitch; Parker ended up eating pizza, because he wasn't willing to cave and eat "icky spinach lasagna". Brennan insisted on doing the dishes as well, shooing Booth and Parker off to go work on his homework. They settled on the couch with Parker between them to watch a movie, but soon after Booth told Parker it was time to get ready for bed. He could practically feel Brennan tense from where he was sitting, and he prayed she wouldn't bolt when he went to tuck Parker in. Standing in the entrance to the hallway, he studied her as she stood facing the line of photographs on the mantle. "He's getting too old for me to do that, but it's still kinda our thing."
Brennan turned with a smile as she heard him. She'd grabbed one of the photographs and was clutching it with both hands. "He loves you."
"He loves you, too," Booth laughed, gesturing to the way he's reacted upon seeing her. Suddenly, his face grew serious. "Okay, it's truth time, Bones. Why'd you break in here?"
"I did not break in." Brennan blushed at the thought. "I...have my key."
Booth seemed a little in shock in return, because of course she had her key. He just hadn't thought about her actually using it. "Look, I'm beyond grateful. I know the last time we actually talked it didn't exactly go so well, so thank you for talking to me again. Please forgive me for saying this, but I don't know what this means." He watched Brennan frown in confusion. "This," Booth spoke slowly as he gestured to the space between them before looking in the direction of the kitchen. "I didn't know what to think when Parker and I came home to find you here cooking dinner, especially given what happened the last time you were here."
Lifting the picture from where she clutched it at her chest, Brennan stared intently at the faces beaming back at her. Life was simpler then, and perhaps a bit happier, too.
Booth reached out, tentatively placing a hand on her shoulder. He hated not knowing what was going through her head, wanted more than anything to simply talk to her. "Talk to me, Temperance; let me help you."
Brennan bit her lip, the pink skin turning a pale white, and she looked back at him with a gleam in her eye. Turning the photograph around, she pointed to the people in the shot one by one. Realizing she remembered the moment was one thing, but telling him she did was another. "It was a Saturday, Parker's birthday. We had a party at the park, and pretty much everyone we knew crowded the area. You laid a blanket out, under the trees, and all three of us were sitting on it."
Something triggered in his mind, and his eyes widened. "Bones?"
She nodded, but chose to continue. "Parker was taking a break from a game of kickball with his friends; you were trying incessantly to get me to eat a piece of cake, despite my telling you for what surely must have been the tenth time that day I didn't want any." Brennan gripped the frame tighter as she herself glanced back at the photo, and at the grinning Booth wiping a small spot of icing from her lip. "I suppose that was when Angela took this photo. After Parker ran off to play again, that was the first time you asked me to marry you. I of course chalked it up to you being affected by-"
"-the happiness of everyone else." Booth cut her off, feeling a bit guilty but also wanting to cut to the heart of the issue. "It wasn't that, you know."
Brennan shrugged, almost as if it didn't really matter. She lifted half of her mouth in the form of a smile.
Booth lifted both eyebrows, tilting his head in her direction as if to encourage her to say more. "So...that's what this is about? You wanted to commemorate by telling me you remembered saying no?"
"I realize this is not the most appropriate way to reveal this to you, but I am unsure as to how to best give you this knowledge, especially given the fact I am almost certain as to how you will react." Brennan looked him in the eye and took a deep breath before continuing. She nodded. Brushed a piece of lint from his collar. Cleared her throat. "I remember, Booth."
"You...remember?" Booth tested the words, letting the taste of them flood his mouth and the sound of them fill the room. He laughed a little in disbelief. A grin spread across his face. "Tell me something."
"I just did." Brennan replied before setting the photograph back on the mantle. "But I'm assuming you mean something else?" She watched him nod in confirmation. "At Angela and Hodgins' actual wedding, we snuck out the back with a bottle of wine and went to the docks to sit by the water and drink. They had already left, so it was not as if we were upsetting anybody. That was the first time you kissed me after the time under the mistletoe, even though we'd been technically seeing each other for over a week by then. I didn't completely understand it, but I told you later that was when I realized I had serious romantic feelings for you."
Booth wrapped his arms tight around her, his face pressing against the soft skin of her neck. They stood like that, silent and swaying back and forth, for a few moments before he pulled back. "I'm sorry, Bones. I really don't want to scare-"
"You're not scaring me away, Booth. I came here of my own accord, remember?" Brennan reminded him. She noted how close they were still standing before bringing her hand up to cup his right cheek. "I don't have everything yet, but the doctors have told me there is a chance I may never regain everything. I just...I know it's illogical, but it seems as if once I stopped trying to remember and focused instead on simply existing with who I am, everything started coming back."
"That's great news, Bones." Booth's smile grew even bigger, if that was even possible. He took a second to study her, realizing for the first time since she arrived how much healthier she looked, at least in her overall behavior. Her hair was pulled back into a loose ponytail, a few strands hanging freely, and she was dressed casually. Of course he'd been looking at her since he realized she was there, but noting the way her jeans curved, fitting her hips and the light blue quarter sleeve shirt that only seemed to highlight the color of her eyes...he felt a little taken back.
"Can we sit?" Brennan asked, gesturing to the couch. She watched as he waited for her to sit and looked on as he followed suit. Clasping her hands together, she realized the words she planned to say had in a sense vanished. It didn't matter. "Booth, I'm sorry." Her words came out in a rush.
Frowning, Booth settled his back against the couch. He sat back up, angling himself in her direction. "You don't-"
"I do." Brennan's words sliced through the space between them as their eyes locked. She held his gaze for a minute before looking away. "I neglected to take into account how you feel about everything that has been happening, and I know that I should have considered that before doing anything. The truth is-" Brennan paused and clasped her hands together. "Booth, you're my best friend. I mean, of course there's Angela, but the relationship we have is different. You know more about me than anyone else, and have witnessed me both at my best and worst. The idea that we were married, legally tied together, it scared me to even think about it. It worried me to think about the past relationships I actually did remember and how they ended, and to realize how close we must have become. Anyone that I've ever opened myself up that deeply to has either left or gotten hurt in some way, including you. I just didn't want to take a risk on something if I didn't have the evidence to back it up."
"So you're saying you had doubts?" Booth asked. Brennan obviously wanted to talk, so he was more than willing to listen and offer his input when needed.
Brennan shook her head. "Not about you, any doubt I had was with me."
"Bones," Booth sighed her name and shifted so his knee touched hers, his body angled to directly face her as he sat on the edge of the cushion. "I don't know why you felt that way, but I get it. You think it didn't scare me sometimes? You are one of the most important people in my life; you and Parker, that's it. Being scared sometimes is normal. Wondering if you're doing the right thing sometimes? Well, that's practically logical."
A smile crept across Brennan's face. "You're using logic?"
Booth nudged her with his elbow. "Well, I learn from the best. Tell me something else."
"Booth," Brennan's face looked unsure as she scanned his for any sign of where to begin.
"I know, and I really don't want to push this, but-" Booth sighed and stared down at their hands. He gave hers a squeeze, wanting to convey the fact he was there for her. "I feel like if I leave the room, you're gonna run away. I feel like if something bad happens or you get uncomfortable, you'll want to go."
Her breathing slowed as she sat beside him. Brennan had to admit he had a point, because her nerves were on edge. She could hear the clock on the wall ticking away, could hear the sound of a car door shutting outside. To say she felt scared and unsure would be at least somewhat accurate, but Brennan also knew that to get any forward progress she had to trust him. "I didn't believe in marriage. I saw it as an archaic institution and something that was not required to show you were committed to another person. When I woke up, that was the mindset I had. However, I realize now it was my relationship with you that changed my mind." Until that point she didn't look at him directly, but as Brennan began to reach her point she paused to evaluate, and she locked eyes with Booth. "I still feel like it's something that's a little outdated at times, but that all depends on the people rather than the union itself. At times, such as the one we found ourselves in, it seemed logical."
"There you go, using logic." Booth nudged her again. He loved seeing a smile on her face, and knowing it was because of him was even better. "Love isn't-"
"-logical, Bones. Yes, I know. That was exactly what you told me." Brennan nodded her head in agreement. "I didn't see your point until Parker fell and broke his arm. I remember finding out, and both you and Rebecca were out of town. You had a case with Zack, and she was visiting her mother. I rushed to the hospital, but they wouldn't let me see him. Despite us being together for an extended period of time and the fact you'd asked me already, we weren't married. That fact meant I had no family ties at all to Parker, and the nurse told me I couldn't see him." Brennan bit her lip as she recalled the moment, too stubborn to let any of the tears that were gathering fall. "It wasn't logical to feel a connection with someone, a child no less, that I had no biological connection to. However, before Brent realized I was there and strongly recommended to the nurse on call that I be allowed in the room, I was so incredibly scared. I realized that night that if anything happened to either of us, we technically wouldn't be able to make any decisions health or otherwise for the other. If for some reason one of us was put into a life-altering condition, hospital rules would dictate that either of us could not have access to the other. When you came back, that was when I said yes. I made dinner and explained my reasoning. You said I was over-thinking it, but that you were happy."
"Bones," Booth breathed her name, reveling in the feeling of hearing her recall the moment gave him. He felt a little startled when he saw her hand come up.
"I'm not done yet." Brennan offered as apology. "I remember, and I regret acting the way I have in the past few months. I know you were only trying to be there, but I refused to see it your way at all."
"Stop apologizing, I get it. I mean, I'd be a liar if I said what you did didn't upset me, but you wouldn't be yourself if you didn't at least try and think about it in your own way." Booth replied. What he was aiming for was giving her enough space without really stepping away. He let go of her hand and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. Feeling Brennan go still beside him, he counted the seconds until she settled comfortably, until he felt her shift closer as her means of acceptance. "You know what I want here, so I'm not gonna try and hide it." He kissed her temple, smelling the scent of her citrus and spice shampoo. Orange blossom and cloves, Booth thought to himself, because apparently some things never changed. "You use the same shampoo."
Brennan frowned and thought that it didn't make much of a difference. "You notice what my hair smells like?"
"I notice a lot of things about you, Temperance." Booth's Adam's apple bobbed slowly up and down as he swallowed. He ran a thumb down her jawline, knowing he was pushing the point where she normally became uncomfortable but rejoicing in the fact she didn't appear to be reaching it, and he offered a lopsided smile. "I love you."
There was a beat of silence as Brennan stared back at him. The warmth of his palm resting against the smooth skin of her cheek provided comfort in a way she found difficult to describe. "I wanted to consider tonight a peace offering, for lack of a more appropriate phrase. I didn't tell you I remembered anything before now because I was concerned about whether or not my progress was actually concrete and lasting, but it is. I saw the hope in your eyes every time I told you about something else that happened, and to tell you I remembered something when I didn't remember the whole picture seemed almost pointless. Booth, I know you were concerned about hurting me, but if I'm being honest I was concerned about hurting you as well. Considering what little information I had of my own, I needed to be prepared prior to making any decisions."
Waiting for what came next seemed to take ages, regardless of the fact it only took a matter of seconds. "And?"
"And what?" Brennan replied, blinking as indication she didn't know what he was referring to, even if there was a chance she might.
Booth tilted his head forward in her direction. "Have you made any kind of decision?"
She wasn't prepared for that question, even though Brennan supposed she probably should have been. It made sense for him to want to know where they stood. "I'm sorry for any hurt that I have caused you and Parker both, or any worrying you have gone through on my behalf. However, I think maybe I have come to a conclusion that to some probably seems inevitable." Brennan spoke clearly and slowly, having already planned what she wanted to tell him but wanting to make sure everything came out right. "If you find it acceptable, I would like to stay."
