Identity Lost
A/N: Thanks for all your reviews and constant support! I really appreciate your comments, as they're the perfect motivation to keep me writing. Please ignore RK who's been reviewing… he's my kid brother and has nothing better to do with his time than to make my life miserable haha…. ENJOY THIS CHAPTER!
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing and its characters, I do not own.
Eleven – Reminiscence
Tea is drunk to forget the din of the world.
Mima couldn't figure out why Duo and Heero were here. How were they connected to Jezzie? She almost forgot how Duo mentioned Relena's name before Heero's appearance but now she knew there was something amiss here. It all felt like a horrible dream that she desperately wanted to escape.
"Heero?" She tried again, knowing the image she saw through her irises couldn't have deceived her.
He really wished he wasn't late for dinner. Some sort of introduction must have been made in the beginning since she was the newcomer. There were too many questions running through his brain cells and yet, he was numb from shock of seeing her again. Heero felt horrible with the way he left things with Mima. Over the last several weeks she had magically rebuilt his life only by her presence. He had remained sober since their talk and he had been gradually turning his life around. Although they never had a romantic relationship he was beginning to feel emotions that he thought long dead and buried. However, all that changed when Relena reentered his life. Relena needed him now more than ever and he understood perfectly where his loyalties lie. Despite the internal pep-talk, he still felt uncomfortable and highly suspicious of Mima. Heero hated himself for feeling that way but she wasn't here coincidentally. She knew how close he was with Relena… Would she be brave and foolish enough to break them up? Something told him to pay close attention to her.
"Mima, what are you doing here?" He asked callously.
She blinked a few times but was unable to answer. It seemed like he was a complete stranger. Heero never spoke with daggers in his voice to her before.
Duo thought it was rather odd that they looked quite familiar with each other. Perhaps there was more going on than he knew about. Regardless of the unspoken tension between them, Duo decided to cut in to help ease the ill feeling. "She came to visit, that's all."
She was thankful for the distraction. "Yes, I came to visit Jezzie."
All the men looked at her confused.
"Who's Jezzie?" Quatre asked for the group.
Jezzie gave a sheepish smile and said, "That would be me. That's the name I've been going by before I discovered my real name."
"Relena's your sister?" Heero asked, bewildered. Now he recalled that Relena briefly mentioned she was bringing someone to dinner but he never imagined it would be Mima. The shock factor was mutual it seemed with Mima.
"What?" Mima blurted out, much in the same fashion when Duo asked the question just moments before.
"Who's Relena? What are you talking about?" She felt her body and soul getting sucked into a black hole.
Jezzie looked sharply at her and said, "I am Relena. I've always been Relena but I don't remember."
"But I thought…" Nothing made any sense to her. How could Jezzie be Relena? Harry and Sam were her biological parents, weren't they? So Mima gave voice to her question.
"That's impossible. I was adopted." Jezzie announced proudly.
Something was very wrong with the situation. Jezzie could very well have been lying but she wasn't so sure. The family she grew up with didn't share anything remotely private with her so it could be possible that Jezzie was also adopted like her.
Heero then laid a gentle hand over Jezzie's and said, "Enough. Let's just enjoy our dinner."
Appetizers were brought out in intricately designed Chinaware and everyone began forking into their salmon in vodka cream sauce, all except one.
She felt a blade piercing through her heart. Mima refused to believe the rumors and yet, there she was. Jezzie was Relena Darlian. She didn't think she could ever overcome the profound news, not any time soon anyway.
Although Heero never officially belonged to her, it still hurt.
"Mima, are you alright?" Quatre prodded gently. "You haven't touched your plate. Do you not like salmon?"
"I… I'm fine." She replied softly. "Excuse me." Mima stood and made some lame excuse to use the restroom. She just wanted to get out of the room while she could; the air was becoming unbearably thin to her liking.
(Moments Later...)
Things were looking very interesting indeed. Jezzie was unaware that Mima was already well acquainted with Duo and Heero, most especially Heero. The glances Mima made toward Heero's direction was enough to spell it out for her. Mima was never any good at masking her emotions. Jezzie was growing fond of Heero herself. He was very independent, incredibly mysterious, and not too hard on female eyes either.
In fact, Jezzie felt it only fair to steal Mima's man since she had Conner Striker wrapped around her pretty little fingers. Poetic justice, or something like that.
"I think I'll check on Mima to see if she's doing okay. She's been gone for a while now." Jezzie said to the group and pulled her chair back.
"Relena?"
"Yes, Heero?"
"Where's your necklace?"
Shit. She was hoping he didn't see but who was she trying to fool? He was a secret spy or an important diplomatic figure with the government; she never figured that out. Jezzie never really cared about anything outside of her realm of influence.
Since Mima was coming over, she obviously couldn't have worn the necklace in front of her without getting caught. Now, she had to think, fast.
"The chain broke so I'm getting it fixed. Despite the fact that I feel naked without it, it must get fixed or else I'll run the fear of losing it when I do wear it." She smiled apologetically.
"Well, go find Mima then." Heero said. Relena's response seemed strange to him. He knew with certainty that the chain couldn't have broken off no matter what type of strenuous activity she was doing. What he didn't know was why she lied to him about it.
(In the restroom, Mima contemplates her situation...)
Mima gently splashed cool water from the sink onto her face. She didn't know how she could bring some color back into her cheeks before going back out there.
She stared at her reflection and willed her mind to make sense of what she just learned. The running water from the faucet gave her an eerie calm as she tried to remember her own past.
After what seemed like hours when she knew only a few minutes had gone by, nothing was forthcoming but a blinding headache. Mima groaned in defeat. She looked up at the mirror again and recalled the strange dream she had at Heero's place all those nights ago.
Those images…. Funny how she hadn't given another thought to the dream since then. She attempted to conjure up those images, as she remained transfixed with her reflection.
A younger version of the Heero that she knew saying with absolute conviction, "I will destroy you."
Horrible machines engulfed the blue sky as bullets showered to the earth… "WHY CAN'T I KILL HER!"
She could hear herself saying to him… "I don't care if I die… Heero, let me stay by you a little longer… I want to become as strong as you are…"
Finally a striking likeness of herself shattering into a thousand pieces as bullets continued to bombard the images.
She had always thought the young girl in the dream was herself. Only they felt too real to have personally happened to her. It seemed more likely if Relena lived those moments with him. Finally she understood.
Relena… the dream was about Relena. She was more certain of that than anything. She dreamed about Relena and Heero. Perhaps she wanted to be the girl in question so that she could be alongside him. The dream was simply an outlet for her repressed conscious thoughts to be with Heero. She didn't know how else to explain it.
Mima shut the water off in frustration and grabbed some Kleenex on the counter to dry her face. This person, Relena, was poisoning her thoughts whether she was awake or not. But the one thing that continued to confuse her was how on earth did they figure out that Jezzie was truly Relena, the one they were searching for all these years… and what proof did she have on her person that was irrefutable?
"Mima, are you in there?" Jezzie spoke softly as she rapped on the door twice.
"I'll be right out." She replied, straightening her simple beige blouse and black skirt that reached her knees. Mima tried not to think about how vastly different she was from Relena's evening attire. There was simply no comparison between microwave dinners and gourmet cooking from a distinguished world chef. Be that as it may, there were far more shattering issues to be concerned about such as the fact that Relena had indeed been found and that Jezzie, Jezzie of all people, was the very person that Heero was searching for.
Mima opened the barrier between them and decided to go for broke by attacking her verbally before Jezzie got another word in. Jezzie may be Relena but there may be something else at work here than met the eye.
"Jezzie, what kind of game are you playing?" She whispered, fervently wishing no one would hear their heated exchange.
"I'm not playing. You better stop being jealous." She sneered. "You think I didn't notice how envious you were once you walked in here? You just have to accept it, Mima! I am Relena and you are nobody."
Mima scoffed and said, "Do you think I care about any of this?" She waved her arms around for emphasis. "I don't want it! I just want to find my home, my true home, and where I belong. You know that! That's all I've been preaching all these years to everybody."
Jezzie shrugged noncommittally and folded her arms in front of her, not a care in the world.
"Jezzie," Mima sighed out loud, "Why did you bring me here?"
Ah, so now they were getting down to business. She didn't think Mima would see past the fluffy sisterhood bullshit, but she continued to amaze her with her remarkable wit and level-headedness.
"I'm not a completely heartless person, you know." She began.
Could've fooled me, Mima thought bitterly.
"Pagan is dying." Jezzie paused a few seconds for the breaking news to set in. "Remember the butler who you briefly met today? He has some disease where he needs new blood every couple of years."
"What disease?" Mima asked concerned. She couldn't imagine the kind old man suffering from any ailment.
Curses. Jezzie knew she should've done some research before going on stage for her live performance with her arch nemesis.
"Well, I forgot what it's called but since I know how you love helping people, perhaps you could do a blood test to see if your blood is a match?"
There were so many loopholes in Jezzie's story that Mima had no idea where to begin. However, she didn't want to miss the opportunity to save a life as a result of her indifference to Jezzie.
"If he had contracted this disease that you claim, wouldn't they already have a record in the hospital?" Mima asked, skeptically.
"Well…"
"And wouldn't they be trying to find a match for him as we speak? I know there's a database where all the patients in need of donated blood can track whether any donors have donated the blood type that they need and…"
"Okay, okay, so I'm not sure how all of that medical mumbo jumbo works, alright?" Jezzie finally exclaimed. "All I know is that Pagan recently contracted the disease and he's a traditionalist type of person that refuses to get help from doctors."
Mima was still doubtful.
"Look, do you want to help him or not? I thought this was your type of thing. Unless, you're choosy with whom you help. Only help those that you find most convenient to help, is it?" Jezzie mocked.
"It's not like that."
"Well?"
Finally she sighed and gave in only to end the conversation. She always felt tired whenever she confronted Jezzie.
"Great! I'll set an appointment some time next week." With that, Jezzie marched back into the dining room.
(A week later...)
Mima couldn't stand sitting idle around the estate for long. It was a week after the dinner party with all of Jezzie's friends and Heero. Luckily things weren't so awkward after she returned to the dining room and they managed to finish their three-course meal without further incident. Duo remained quite animated throughout the dinner service, saving the group from total silence. She tried to avoid Heero's gaze as much as possible and it seemed as if he was doing the same. They didn't speak to each other again until all the guests were leaving and they bid a curt farewell to one another. It was just as well that they didn't exchange anything more than see you later.
She was wandering the grounds of the estate and found herself in a secluded garden. A gentle breeze fluttered from the western front and she pulled a few strands of her dyed black hair behind her ears. It felt so good to be outdoors and to feel warm rays from the sky showering streams of sunlight on her.
Mima spent most of her time talking to the employees and learning about what they did on a day-to-day basis. She hated how Jezzie treated them by remaining ignorant of their existence when she sees them or when she ordered them to do her bidding. There was Raoul the head chef from France, Aidan the steward in his late fifties and going strong, and half a dozen other maids and support staff that she had the pleasure of meeting.
She took her time gazing at the various flowers and exotic plants that were in full bloom. The garden was a stunning masterpiece and it was all thanks to Gregory, the groundskeeper, who kept his pride and joy in top form. Blood red roses dominated the heart of the garden where a life-sized replica of a beautiful woman carved from marble was carefully placed in the centre. The amazing contrast of red life and white stone must have had an important symbolic message but she couldn't decipher the meaning. There was something about the woman's face that seemed familiar to her. In fact, she had the strongest sense of déjà vu as she walked along the garden path.
"Oh, there you are." A voice spoke behind her. It was Pagan.
"Hello."
"Would you like to have some afternoon tea while you're enjoying the scenery?" He asked with eyes sparkling.
"Yes, that would be lovely." Mima replied, smiling. "I noticed a beautiful patio just off beside the garden and…."
"I know the place. The master used to have tea there all the time. I will only be a few minutes." He said and returned to the house.
Mima waited on nicely padded oak chairs that matched the round table ready to seat six people. She didn't have to wait long before Pagan returned with the necessary items for tea and enough sweets and snacks to feed an army.
"Wow, I don't think I can finish all that." Mima said as she thanked him.
"Please call for me if you need anything else, miss." He said and turned around to leave the way he came.
"I'd be happy if you could join me." She hinted. "That is, if you're not too busy."
He was slightly taken aback from the request but decided to sit and take a rest. "Thank you."
"Pagan, do you know who that statue is?" Mima asked once she poured two cups of tea. "Milk or sugar?"
"No, this is fine." Pagan said as he reached for a cup. "It has been a long while since I have taken a good look at her. She was the former Mrs. Peacecraft, the Queen. You see, she was the very symbol of peace and freedom of their time so her husband arranged for a famous Italian architect to make it not only for their family but as a reminder of what they stood for. The roses were another minor detail to signify the bloodshed from past wars that were fought and it served as a reminder to solve conflicts through any means but violence."
"That's a beautifully moving story." Mima commented as she turned to look at the statue in awe. "Did they live here as well?"
"Yes, more than twenty-five years ago. This was their private sanctuary where they brought their children."
Mima satisfied her sweet tooth by picking up a lemon tart and savored the citrus flavor. "I see. There must be a lot of history with this place."
"Indeed. This was where I was first given the responsibility to look after Relena." Pagan confirmed as he took a slow sip of the brewing tea. "I remember one time," he shared as he reminisced, "when she fell off her horse rather roughly and scraped herself on the paved road. As for the ones watching her, our hearts stopped beating."
She didn't want to hear about Jezzie's childhood but something about the story was vaguely familiar. Why did everything in the place seem that way to her? Maybe she was going out of her mind. Furthermore, she didn't want to be rude by stopping him and said, "Guess she was a handful, huh?"
"On the contrary, she was the ideal daughter for any parent. I believe she just turned seven when the accident happened, the time where children itched to try anything new and different."
She smiled politely and said, "I wish I knew what that was like."
"What do you mean, my dear?"
"Nevermind." The heat was beginning to overwhelm her a bit or it may have been the conversation. She casually took off her light jacket and placed it on the empty chair next to her. "Was she seriously hurt from the fall?"
For a moment Pagan wondered what she meant by her previous statement. I wish I knew what that was like… Mima and her past were still very much a mystery to everyone but she seemed adamant about keeping her personal life private. "Very much so, actually. She screamed so loud that we all thought the devil was chasing after her. There was a rather large cut that ran along the back of her right arm." He used his own right arm to demonstrate by drawing a line from the elbow to a few centimeters below his shoulder blade. "Unfortunately the scar remained years after the incident but Relena always laughed it off and claimed it was simply a wild phase that she went through."
Mima thought for a moment to see if she could remember such a scar on Jezzie. No, she was certain Jezzie didn't have any old scar or cut on her. Jezzie was so careful with her skin that she did anything to prevent any form of defamation to her perfect body.
The links were made; Jezzie was not Relena Darlian. It was the greatest news she could ever hear, or think of but she wanted to make sure. "Are you sure the scar wouldn't heal itself, say, five or ten years later? It shouldn't have been that deep a wound."
He pondered her logic for a few moments and nodded slightly in agreement but said, "the strangest thing about it was that the cut never did heal properly and the scar was still there even up to her late teens, albeit somewhat faded."
Suddenly a third person joined the party rather loudly and spoke up hurriedly, "Mima, what are you doing here with Pagan?"
"We were just having a nice chat." She responded just as impatiently.
Jezzie did not like this. She did not know what was said between the two and if Mima asked about Pagan's said disease then all her careful planning was for naught. "And what were you chatting about?"
"Miss Relena, I was simply sharing one of your childhood experiences. Do you remember falling off a horse?" Pagan said kindly.
"Why would I remember such an atrocious incident? I hate wild animals and I especially hate being outdoors." Jezzie said offhandedly. It seemed that the two pawns sitting comfortably before her were still ignorant of what was at play. She gave herself a mental sigh and said, "Mima, it's time to go for the appointment that we talked about last week."
"Right now? You should have told me sooner, Jezzie." Mima said coldly. She was surprised by her animosity toward her sister now. Perhaps things had all changed when Pagan inadvertently revealed that Jezzie was not really who she claimed to be. Jezzie was playing a very dangerous game and she was certain that her dear sister was only out for herself.
"Regardless, you look ready to go with that red tank top you have on, so let's go." She remarked, looking irritated.
Mima stood up slowly and turned to Pagan. "Thank you so much for the tea and conversation today. I really enjoyed it."
"My pleasure, miss." He nodded eloquently. "It's been a while since I've sat down and basked in the wonderful weather we've been having."
Jezzie was already on her way out of the garden and heading to the parking lot. Mima looked embarrassed for Jezzie's behavior and apologized. "I'm sorry she's like that. She must be having a bad day."
"Quite alright. You take care." He said.
She wanted to tell him not to worry about his health problems as she would do whatever it was necessary to help him but she thought the topic too depression and left it at that. Mima gave him a knowing nod and smiled before turning to leave the patio for the blood test.
As he saw her walk away, a recent cloud cover parted in the sky and a stream of light hit the right side of Mima's body just so. Pagan noticed something… something life shattering. It was Relena's scar on Mima's arm, clear as day. He blinked quickly to see whether he was seeing things but the mark was still there. The scar was a slightly lighter color than her skin but there was no mistaking it.
"Relena…." He whispered as tears began spilling from his aging gray eyes that have seen too much in one lifetime. Pagan knew that he felt something different when he first saw Mima. It wasn't the same feeling as it was with the woman they had all assumed was she. The woman whom they assumed was Relena only looked the part but that was where the similarities ended.
The true Relena had something that was irreplaceable, her kindness, her passion to help humans, and her dedication to reach out to as many people as she possibly could for the betterment of mankind. Mima possessed the same undeniable qualities as his Relena. It was so easy to see that kind of heart in her within only a week simply from her interactions with the people around her and, of course, from the conversations they shared. Why did he not see it sooner?
"Relena…." They have all made a terrible mistake.
TBC
A/N: I apologize for the format of this chapter. I wasn't able to put in line breaks for some reason and it bugged the hell out of me; fanfic is probably on the fritz again, I'm sure. Oh well!
