AN: I KNOW I KNOW!! It took me a freakin' year to update this? I am appalled and ashamed at my lack of effort in this fic. It will never happen again. Hopefully, the next installment will not take half as long. HAPPY READING!

Identity Lost

Disclaimer: Gundam Wing and its characters, I do not own.

Sixteen – Mind Over Matter

We all have our time machines. Some take us back, they're called memories. Some take us forward, they're called dreams - Jeremy Irons

She dreamed of gunfire and death. The acidic stench of gunpowder overwhelmed her senses as she stood silently in the midst of a brutal battle, deadly machines that towered over office buildings in the landscape. The noise was deafening and she wanted to escape but her legs remained fixed.

"Relena!" Someone cried from a distance.

She looked around trying to identify to whom the haunting voice belonged. The scene shifted suddenly and she was standing in front of a school. An eerie calm soon replaced the metallic booming and thunderous bullets from before. Strangely enough, she became even more frightened from the silence than from the war torn images and sounds from before. Then, a distant rumble began and the earth started shaking. An earthquake? No, it was something far worse. Things started falling – trees, bricks, debris from buildings. She tried to run for cover but was still unable to move. Pieces of building around her continued to fall and she knew it was only a matter of time until she was crushed. The rumbling grew louder above her and she knew that this was it. With her arms shielding her head, she waited for the inevitable.

Her eyes squinted at the blaring sun that penetrated the thin curtains. Mima reluctantly opened her eyelids as the images from her dream faded into nothingness. The outline of the bedroom slowly came into focus as she mentally rubbed away the morning drowsiness from her mind and she noticed she wasn't in her own room nor was she sleeping alone.

A masculine arm wrapped comfortably around her waist and she held back the gasp of surprise from seeing Connor Striker sleeping silently beside her.

What happened last night?

She looked beneath the blankets and, thankfully, she was still fully dressed. Very slowly, Mima tried to edge her way off the bed so she could get a better grasp of the situation. She inched half of her body over the side of the queen bed before Connor reached for her waist again.

He groaned at the lost contact and repositioned himself so that he could pull her back into the bed. "Good morning," Connor murmured into the nape of her neck.

"Uh, morning." Mima responded and then asked before she lost the nerve. "Why didn't I go home last night?"

Connor pulled the warm covers tightly over their bodies before saying, "you fell asleep on the couch while we were watching TV and I couldn't force myself to wake you." He shrugged and continued, "you looked so tired and being the selfish guy that I am, I wanted to have you stay overnight. I hope it's okay."

Now that the shock had worn off, she found it nice to be cared for and looked after. Sometimes Connor really surprised her. Mima smiled at him and melted any worries he had about doing the wrong thing. They stayed in each other's embrace for several minutes before Connor looked at the digital clock and thought that they should be starting their day.

"Take your time getting up. I'll make breakfast." He said, leaning over and placing a kiss on her cheek. Before she could respond, he hopped off the bed and disappeared into the kitchen.

Mima slowly stretched out her muscles, then snuggled deeper into the lush folds of the thick blanket, and was glad that she didn't have to work that day. She wished to have one day where the complications in her life would take a backseat and leave her thoughts at peace. She could do it… just drone out everything that had gone wrong with her life and have fun for once.

The sweet aroma of freshly brewed coffee finally dragged her out of bed. She made a quick stop to the bathroom to wash her face and noticed the neatly folded towels and a new toothbrush were placed on the counter along with a note, Thought you might like to clean up before breakfast. She was impressed and she couldn't help but smile at the message.

In the light of day, Mima was able to get a better view of his home and she was surprised at the authenticity of the Victorian designs on the ceiling, window frames, and wooden balustrade that led to the main floor. The two-story house felt too vast and empty for only one person and she wondered if he planned to raise a family on the small estate. As she made her way downstairs, her mouth watered at the enriched smells of bacon, scrambled eggs, and French toast. Connor poured some orange juice into two glasses and he motioned her to the table. Everything was already set from the cutlery, plates, mugs and glasses, to the paper napkins. The steaming food was placed tidily in the center of the table along with fresh fruit and muffins. It looked too good to eat.

"Connor, I never knew you could cook." She praised.

"Breakfast food is all I can do." The chef replied modestly. "Please dig in. You must be starving."

They ate in comfortable silence and once they had had their fill, Mima volunteered to do the dishes and Connor reluctantly obliged.

As she scrubbed away the deliciously fattening grease off the plates, Connor finished the remainder of his coffee and he couldn't help but grin at the homely, domestic scene that they both displayed. If only Mima could wake up here every morning, he'd be thrilled at the prospect.

He wanted to prolong this day, something that could keep them together…"Why don't we go shopping today?"

Mima turned off the faucet and dried her hands on the cotton dishtowel. She turned around and said, "Sounds like a great idea."


The annual spring bazaar was crowded with the usual sea of teenagers, families, and groups of friends ready to overspend. Mima and Connor browsed the stores briefly until they reached the internationally renowned bookstore. Connor didn't think they'd be in there for that long but once he noticed her excitement over the massive shelves of books, he didn't want to break her from that moment of joy. Her pace quickened as she zigzagged down the aisles, touching the spines of the novels lined neatly against the walls.

"I love books." She commented as she picked up another novel to read the book jacket.

He chuckled and said, "I noticed. Why don't you pick one? My treat."

"I could no sooner choose a favorite tree in a forest." She replied, putting The Count of Monte Cristo back to its rightful place and carefully sliding The Time Traveller's Wife down to her awaiting hands.

"That's a good one." He nodded to the novel that she was reading. "Very romantic and incredibly well written."

She looked up at him and asked, "And I suppose like all good romance novels, it ends with a happily ever after?"

He rubbed his chin in mock thought and exclaimed, "guess you'll have to read it and find out." Connor then snatched the very book from her hands and proceeded to the checkout.

"Wait!" Mima raced after him looking exasperated. "You really don't need to buy it for me."

"Consider it a gift." He said once the item was rung through and the clerk smiled, placing the book into a plastic bag.

With a small sigh and an expression of defeat, she shook her head. "Men. Always the same…"

"You mean incredibly charming and oozing with perfection in every way?" He joked as he handed her the bag.

She laughed unabashedly. "Sure." Before forgetting her manners completely, Mima gave him a quick hug as they left the store and said, "Thanks for the book."

"My pleasure." He grinned and they continued strolling down the street among the throng of visitors.

Another half hour of window shopping later, Connor suggested, "Hungry yet? Wanna grab some artery clogging goodness from the fast food joints?" When she didn't respond, he gently nudged her but there was still nothing. "Mima?" It seemed as if she were dazed, mesmerized by something. He followed her gaze and saw what she saw. Jezzie, with another man.


What were the chances of all four of them running into each other like this? Suddenly all the negative thoughts sprinted back into her mind and her stomach lurched at the idea of another confrontation with Relena and her perfect soldier. She prayed that Jezzie and Heero didn't see her and would continue walking past them.

"Mima?" Jezzie inquired only a few feet away. All parties concerned froze on their tracks eyeing the other couple. It was almost as if an invisible shield prevented them from closing the distance between them. "Look what we have here, Mima and Connor. What are you doing with him?" She asked, a slight hint of suspicion in her tone.

"I…we…"

"We're shopping. What else would you be doing on a Saturday?" Connor answered, saving her from any further explanation.

Jezzie feigned indifference and said, "Oh, Connor, have you met my boyfriend, Heero Yuy? Heero, this is Connor Striker."

Mima mentally cringed at that word, boyfriend. Did he really live up to that endearment? Was that what Connor was to her? And why wasn't Heero saying anything? He must've seen her just as she was fully aware of his presence. On second thought, she wasn't so surprised with his lack of conversation; Heero had always been the stereotypical silent type.

As the men exchanged first greetings and shook hands, Mima tried avoiding Heero like the plague. It must have been some kind of curse looming over her for making their paths cross like this. She could only fathom a guess that Jezzie enjoyed watching her squirm. Before she could muster an excuse to leave, Jezzie suggested they all go for a late lunch together.

Clearly Jezzie was using another tactic to embarrass her and she wasn't as gullible as before. Being tricked once by her beloved sister was once too many. "I don't think so." Mima responded curtly.

"Stop being a wet blanket. We need some time to catch up and besides, I haven't seen Connor in a while."

"You know, that is true." Connor began. "But if Mima's not feeling up to it, maybe next time." Without giving her the opportunity for a rebuttal, he quickly bid farewell to them both and placed a firm hand on Mima's lower back to guide her away from the group.

Once they were out of earshot, Mima released a sigh, partly thankful and partly in guilt for being the downer of the group. "I'm sorry about that. You probably wanted to chat with her a bit more but…"

"Don't get me wrong, Mima. I know she's your sister but I really can't stand her sometimes. I have no idea how you even managed to live with her all these years."

"She's family." Mima admitted, almost as if those two words explained everything that was wrong between them.

Connor only shook his head and reached for her hand. "The problem, my dear, is that you're too sweet."


"That was rude." Jezzie huffed. Heero didn't care that she sounded annoyed. "So what do you think? Mima and Connor an item now?"

He didn't know what to think. One glance at Mima and all was forgotten, including the newcomer into her life. He was amazed at how much he missed her at that moment. Weeks had passed and he was foolish to assume that his feelings for her would diminish. Strangely, they had only grown stronger by her absence. Heero felt tormented with the way things had ended between them and perhaps she deserved some happiness now after all the disappointments and heartache.

"Heero?"

As much as he reminded himself that it didn't matter who Mima was seeing, an uncomfortable knot still formed in the pit of his stomach when he saw them walking away together.

"Heero, are you listening? I said I'm bored and I want to head home."

"Yeah." He said, returning his thoughts back to the woman who he once thought was the only important person to protect.


Glad to be back with the experts. She no longer had a fear of meeting with Dr. Tobias. Dressed casually in a loose flannel shirt and navy blue jeans, she knew today would provide the breakthrough that she needed in restoring her memories.

"It's a party. People are dancing." Mima said as she laid on the leather recliner.

"Go on," Dr. David Tobias said.

"I am dancing with someone…Heero."

He jotted some notes down and asked, "You're dancing with a hero?"

Her brows furrowed together in disagreement and recounted the conversation to Tobias as how it was playing in her mind verbatim.

She was the first to break the silence, "Heero, I know too much about you. Are you still gonna kill me?"

He replied softly, "Yeah."

"I didn't want to die with no answers, but now it's different. Now I know how you feel when you fight." She continued.

"Huh?"

She went on further, "And that's because I'm on your side now."

Dr. Tobias remained silent through her monologue, then said, "I want you to leave the party and tell me the next scene that you see."

Mima was reluctant to leave the comforts of the ballroom and the amazing feeling of being in Heero's arms. At that point, she didn't care whether it was a recollection of her past or a figment of her imagination. It felt right and that's all that mattered.

"I don't want to." She whispered.

"But you must," Dr. Tobias gently prodded. "Walk away from Heero to learn what you want to learn. Tell me what you see."

The ballroom faded into the darkness and soon a new scene appeared that was frighteningly similar to the strange dream that she had while sleeping over at Connor's. The images she saw were equally as vivid as those of her dream. Thunderous missiles, booming gunfire, and the sound of crumbling buildings seemed all too familiar.

"I'm outside. Outside of the school, I think."

"What's happening?" Tobias asked.

"An explosion. The tower next to me is exploding. Debris is falling and I'm caught right underneath it." She explained, her breathing grew short and strained. "I'm going to die."

He didn't want her to panic and said soothingly. "You're perfectly safe, Mima. Remember, none of this is real; they're just memories."

"Something's protecting me from the falling stones but I can't see who… or what."

The smoke from her mind slowly dissipated to the winds and a gigantic machine gradually revealed itself piece by piece: the metallic body armor, the shield protruding from its left arm that provided her shelter a few inches above her head, and the eerie green lights glowing from the head's eyes.

"The fog is lifting and it's a…machine."

"Machine?" Tobias repeated, then thought about objects that resembled anything similar to what Mima was describing and only one thing came to mind – Gundams. "That must be from the war years ago. Do you see who's piloting the machine?"

She opened her eyes and slowly sat up, oblivious to how she broke the hypnosis without further instruction.

"It's Heero." She explained matter-of-factly as if she were making conversation about the weather.

Shocked by her sudden alertness, he jumped up from his seat and nearly tossed the clipboard. "Mima! How did you? I mean… how could you?"

"I'm sorry, I have to go." Mima replied, suddenly looking uncomfortable.

Before he had an opportunity to recover from the shock of seeing his patient walk out during hypnosis, she was already gone. He didn't even have time to schedule her in for the next session.


The moment she stepped out of the building, she began running. There was no destination in mind; she just couldn't stand still. Something happened back at Dr. Tobias' office, something profound. Perhaps her memory was trying to break free to the surface but there was still something refusing the past to reach her consciousness.

She continued running even when her lungs protested.

It couldn't be a coincidence that Heero repeatedly appeared in her recollections. Mima was certain that she knew him. That was the only explanation; she knew him.

Her arms pumped vigorously, her legs feeling the strain of disuse. Soon she noticed that she ran out of room to run and ran across the intersection to the other side without a second's hesitation. Lost in her scattered thoughts, she didn't see the oncoming vehicle approaching and everything turned to black.


"Hey, lady! Are you ok?" A man's voice sounded faint to her.

She tried to sit up and felt strong arms helping her.

"What happened?" A woman asked.

"I dunno. I was trying to turn and this lady jumped right in front of my car. Good thing I wasn't going too fast. Must've had the wind knocked out of her." She heard the man explain.

She slowly opened her eyes and looked around to see a crowd gathered around her and the man that helped her. Her right hand instinctively touched her forehead to feel for any damage and luckily everything seemed okay. In fact, everything was better than okay. Suddenly, everything seemed clear.

"Do you want me to take you to the hospital?" The man asked. "You knocked your head pretty hard, I think."

"No, I'm fine." She said, smiling. "I remember."

"Remember what?" He asked, suddenly worried that she knocked a screw loose.

"I remember." She repeated as she tried to stand up. She rubbed some feeling into her arms and legs and was thankful that she wasn't injured at all. "I remember."

Relena gave her thanks to the puzzled man and ran off.

"What?" The man was still scratching his head when he returned to his car.

TBC

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