Omake 2:
Rei ^ 2
(A hypothetical look at exactly what might happen if Rei (also referred to as Creepy!Rei), from Aeon Natum Engel, was swapped with Rei (also referred to as Terrifying!Rei), from Greg Landsman's NGE: Nobody Dies.)
(Also, the plural of "Rei" is "Ree", following the precedent of the English ending "-is" to "-es", and removing the "-s" from the end. There can be no objections!)
~'/|\'~
Yui stared at the strange, colour-shifted version of her adopted daughter, sitting across the table from her.
Rei stared back.
Gendo stared at her.
Rei stared back.
Fuyutsuki, shuddering slightly at the concept of two Ree, stared at her, taking a swig from his hip flask.
Rei paid no attention to him.
There was an extended silence.
"Well, she's certainly a lot quieter than our one," muttered Gendo, receiving a glare from Yui which indicated that he could look forwards to sleeping on the sofa for the next week.
"Right... um... Rei, I suppose," began Yui, "let's get the questions started. Name?"
"Rei Ayanami."
"Date of Birth?"
"It is complicated. Officially, 03/06/75."
Yui squinted at her. "Uh... what? You don't look that old."
"2075."
"Okay... and parents?" she continued, working down the list, which was a standardised one, and so not very good for interviewing anyone with the name "Rei Ayanami". Well, maybe those ones in the alt-universe seen in episode 26, but they don't really count as Rei.
"It is complicated. Officially classified by the New Earth Government."
"Oh." She glanced down at the list. "Legal guardians?"
"Gendo Ikari, Representative of the Ashcroft Foundation for Europe."
Yui frowned. "And me?"
"No. You are legally dead, after a start-up accident in Unit 01, in 2079. No body was recovered."
"Oh." And this was a sudden noise of realisation, at one of what must have been one of the major divergences between the two girls with the same name. She continued down the list, before stopping. "Kozo!"
The old man looked shifty. "What?"
"Why has 'Would you ever consider destroying my car with a rubber mallet?' been added to the list of questions?"
"It is an important question! Especially when dealing with Ree!" Fuyutsuki protested, showing unexpected backbone to his former student.
Yui gave him a glare, and turned back to face Rei-who-wasn't-Rei. "Okay, then." She sighed. "'Would you ever...'"
"No." The answer was short and flat. "That would be contrary to multiple laws. Unless it was superseded by other instructions given to me by a recognised authority, I would not do so."
Fuyutsuki smiled, genuine tears in his eyes.
"Can we keep her?"
~'/|\'~
On another Earth, the shouting could be heard through the door to the Representative's spacious office.
"No... no... uh, Rei, listen! That's a valued piece of xenoarcanotech and..."
"What does it do! Let's see!"
"I haven't managed to force an activ..."
The explosion of light, the colour of inflamed flesh, blew a hole in the roof, to impact against the top of the geocity dome. As a result, everyone in the hollow space could hear the shrieked,
"I LOVE IT!"
Gendo Ikari opened the door to his office. The Deputy Representative stared at the man, who removed his cracked glasses to reveal two circles of clean flesh on his soot-blackened face.
There was an awkward silence between the two men.
"Not a word, Fuyutsuki. Not one word."
"Of course not, Ikari." The old man paused. "Well, how are we going to explain her total change in colouration and temperament?"
"I'm sure if we use the word 'arcano' enough, they'll accept it. That isn't our major problem, though. If their Rei is this..." he shuddered, "this... thisness, then imagine what their version of the Second Child must be like."
"Oh dear."
"Quite."
The old man ran his hand over his forehead. "Well, what are we going to do about... her?"
There was another explosion, and another whoop of joy.
"I... honestly don't know," admitted Gendo. "This was not part of the plan. At all. She's just so... destructive. And energetic. SHE WAS ONLY IN MY OFFICE FOR LESS THAN FIVE MINUTES BEFORE SHE GOT BORED ENOUGH TO TEAR APART MY DESK!"
Fuyutsuki muffled a smile at the unexpected outburst. "She is a force of nature, isn't she? Like some kind of hurricane or storm."
There was a frozen moment, as the genius of that statement hit them.
"Of course!" both men said simultaneously. "We can just drop her on Leng!"
~'/|\'~
