A/N: Thanks to everyone that has added Gold Buckle Dreams to their story alerts. It makes me so happy!!!
This will be my last update for this week. Next week I will start updating on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
Also thanks to my wonderful sister from another mother StephieB for helping me with this story. Girl I wouldn't have been able to do this if it wasn't for ya. Love ya!!!!
Disclaimer – Stephenie Meyers owns all that is Twilight. Now on with the story.
Chapter 2
Reality
BPOV
After paying Jacob, I head back to Renee's, realizing that I sure as hell haven't thought through my return to the saddle very thoroughly. It has been five years since I last rode and I sure wasn't in any position to keep a horse at the house I share with my cousin, Alice.
Alice had graciously offered her home to me after I decided I was moving back to Phoenix after my divorce. James and I had been living in Forks, Washington which is his home town, and also where my dad, Charlie, lived. I had met James while visiting Charlie one summer and well…….the rest is history.
My mind keeps wandering back to the mare I've just bought and the man that sold her to me. I had made the drive to the reservation after Jacob called me. I am still not sure how he knew I was interested in buying a horse. It must have been one of those Quileute things he had going on.
I've known Jacob for years and somehow, he always seems to know what I need even before I do. It is funny, I'd never thought of him as anything more than a friend, but with him selling me this mare on the contingency that I actually go out with him, it actually won't hurt. Jacob is familiar, a safe port in the storm if you will. And truthfully I need safe right now.
I feel like something amazing has happened after one of the worst times in my life. It seems fitting that I move back to Phoenix, since the name means "rebirth". Deep down, I hope I can give this mare a second chance too. It is also ironic that her name is Phoenix as well.
I know she is not at the top of her game, but in all honesty, neither am I. We both need time to heal, time to get in shape and someone to believe in us; maybe we can be that for each other. I know it sounds crazy to feel that way about a horse, but apparently the cowgirl that I thought I had left behind is still inside of me and she's ready to resurface.
Renee is already out in the arena working with some colts when she notices the truck and trailer following me. Jacob offered to follow me back to Renee's and drop off Phoenix so I wouldn't have to make a return trip to the reservation. I get out of my old pickup and start walking towards his trailer to help unload the precious cargo.
"Bella?" I heard Renee shouting to me from the arena, "What the hell is Jacob Black doing here and why is he unloading..." I look up just in time to see my mother's reaction to my poor, broken mare backing off the trailer. Renee's eyes are wide and she does not look happy. She is over the fence in no time flat.
"Bella what the hell is this?" She glares at the skinny mare and than back at me.
"Um, SURPRISE!!!" Gee Swan can't you do any better than that? I think to myself.
"Mom, look…. let me explain. Jacob called me about this mare he just got in and I was curious, so I went to check her out. Just come over here and see her for yourself." I had always sought my mother's approval and advice, especially when it came to horses. This is the first time in my life I have taken a chance on a horse and trusted my own instincts. Renee's face tightens as she walks over to the mare.
My mom is one of the best horse women in the country and has a keen eye for what lies beneath the surface. I can't help but believe that she surely would not dismiss this beat up mare too quickly. I nervously watch as she knowingly runs her hands up and down the skittish mare's legs. I saw her hand stop momentarily and the flicker in my mom's eye when she sees the brand on the mare's hip. Turning to me, she's wearing a half-smug smile that I've come to know well. It's the look she gets when she really is impressed, but doesn't want to let on that she is.
"Bells you done good girl, I'm a little concerned that she's underweight, but we can take care of that, but that scar on her back leg will need to be looked at by Dr. Cullen."
Dr. Cullen and his family moved here shortly after I moved to Forks, I have heard my mom rave about him ever since. She has told me over and over again that he is a miracle worker in the field of equine veterinarian practices.
Jacob helps me get Phoenix settled in to her new stall and as we are walking back to his truck he clears his throat "Um Bella, I'm really glad you agreed to the date." I look over at him and he has this sexy smile plastered on his face, showing the most perfect set of white teeth I have ever seen.
Okay, okay, I'll admit that I am all about the teeth.
Of course, I don't want Jake to think he has any effect over me, but I couldn't' resist playing with him just a little. I lean in close to him; so close, I know he can feel my breath on his ear. I have to resist from not giggling when I make myself low and seductive. I feel him tense when I start to whisper, "Aw Jake don't flatter yourself. I probably would have agreed to just about anything to get that mare." I wink at him and turn back to the house, chuckling to myself as I leave Jake standing there with his mouth gaping open.
I've never thought of myself as being exceptionally pretty. My complexion is very pale and I used to swear I could pass for a vampire. My hair and eyes are just a plain brown color and I rarely ever style my hair because it always gets messed up when I am outside playing with the horses. I've never been what anyone would consider a "girlie-girl". I'm always outside getting dirty from cleaning stalls, grooming horses and basically living the life of a barn goddess. This drives Alice crazy; there is never a time that Alice is not dressed to the nines. Alice and I are opposites, if ever there were two, but she is my favorite cousin, not to mention my best friend so I let her rag on and on about my clothing choices and how I always have hay in my hair. I just shake my head at the thought and walk up the stairs of Renee's porch.
As I walk into Renee's house to tell her I am getting ready to leave, I hear her finishing up a phone conversation, "Ok thanks for your help, we will see you Thursday at ten. Thanks again Esme!"
I make my way into the kitchen just in time to see Renee hang up the phone. She apparently doesn't know I'm there because she's startled when she turns around and sees me. "Shit Bella, you can't be sneaking up on your old mama like that!"
We laugh as I say "Mom, please! I could never think of you as old! Heck, you are out there doing things with those horses that girls half your age have trouble accomplishing."
It's true I have a hard time envisioning Renee as old, but for some reason, she thinks it is humorous to call herself that. Renee is married to a man younger than her, Phil Dwyer. Phil is never around much; he is the batting coach for a minor league farm team for the Atlanta Braves. He travels a lot during baseball season which suits Renee just fine as it gives her time to work with her young horses.
"Oh Bella," she says to catch my attention, "I called and set up an appointment for that mare of yours with Dr. Cullen, Thursday morning at ten."
"Great. Thanks for taking care of that for me." I smile and hug my mom as I walk out the door.
*******************************************************************************************************************
As I drive back home, my mind is racing a hundred miles an hour. I can't believe I actually bought a fucking horse. I never thought I would own one again after I sold my good mare, Lady to appease James.
I swear, for the first time in months I am actually smiling and it doesn't feel forced. I have been so lost, unsure of who I was during my marriage that I got good at putting on a front so that no one would see what I was truly feeling on the inside. The months leading up to our divorce were not good ones. James was always working late and when he was home, he was both verbally and physically abusive to me. I was never good enough in his eyes. Looking back, I realize that it was James who was never good enough. He was just trying to tear me down to make himself feel better.
The nail in the proverbial coffin came when I caught James fucking the town slut, Victoria. I really wasn't surprised. Plus, his affair gave me the strength I needed to get the hell out of that empty marriage and back to living my life the way I wanted to. I won't say that he did not break me, because he did. He would say things like "You were nothing before I met you. You were just a silly little girl playing with her horses." His words were like venom, spewing out of his mouth to hurt me mentally and emotionally.
My favorite times were the nights when James would have too much to drink and get home expecting sex. Yeah, well that was not going to happen! I have a strict rule of no drunken, meaningless sex, especially with James; he would get very rough to say the least. One particular night he was very inebriated and tried to force himself on me. After several times of me screaming no, he started yelling, "You are nothing but a little cunt, Bella! Your shit is no better than anyone else's! You might as well come down off of that fucking high horse you like to ride all the time and give me what I want!" He grabbed me by the throat and held me down but I was able to knee him in the groin and get away. Thank God my dad was the chief of police in Forks and had insisted that I take those self defense classes. I ran into the bathroom and locked myself in there for the rest of the night and cried; while James passed out in the other room.
It was then and there, on the bathroom floor, that I decided I had to get out of that marriage. I just lucked out when I caught him fucking Slutoria and that was all I needed.
I got out with enough money to live comfortably on for awhile and the prick had to pay me alimony which pleased me to no end.
My cell phone ringing on the seat beside me snapped me back to reality. I grabbed it and quickly answered, "Hello?"
"Bella, oh my god where have you been I have been trying to call you for hours." I laugh to myself before answering my over reacting cousin, she is worse than my parents.
"Alice, I am fine. I just took a trip out to the reservation today and, well…… I bought a horse."
A world-deafening scream pierces my ear. "Alice for all that is holy, please, please stop yelling before you rupture my ear drum!" I shake my head: Alice has always been so over-dramatic.
"Beeellllla! Oh my god this is major! You are getting your groove back girl! That's it we are going to celebrate!" I shake my head and just laugh.
Alice is always looking for a reason to celebrate. "Alice, really there is no need."
"Bella stop it! This is major! Come on! Let's go out grab some drinks. It has been so long since you have gotten out of the house for any fun, and this is as good a reason as any! We will be celebrating the prodigal daughter's return to the world of rodeo!" I can just imagine Alice's pouty face at this exact minute. I shake my head. How can I say no to that?
"Ok Alice. I will be home in a few."
~*~*~*~*~
Alright guys like I said last update for the week, look for the next one Tuesday. Thanks to everyone that has read and reviewed, you guys have no idea how much that means to me. Like I said before it there is anything you do not understand about any terms I use please, please pm me I will do my best to explain and check out my profile I have some links posted there as well.
