Everything was changed.
Everything she had ever known before was now behind her, and ahead, the great unknown . . . coldness, death and the creators knew what else. Kaei tried very hard to swallow it all, and focus on one simple thing; hate. Hate for those disgusting darkspawn filth that took everything away from her.
Tamlen's sweat was barely dry on her skin when their taint swallowed him up, and nearly her as well. Now she was headed towards Ostagar, on her way to become a Gray Warden, to save her life. She would have been happy to let the taint take her, but then she'd remember Tamlen's last horrifying words. And she'd remember his last word had been her name. There was only one thing to be done. Vengeance. And if that meant becoming a Gray Warden and killing every darkspawn in Ferelden? So be it.
Although she had a feeling that what was to come would take more strength than she might have. Her one consolation, was Duncan. And that surprised her more than anything had before. Duncan was a quiet, soft-spoken man, or at least she assumed he was, since he was really the only man, human man anyway, that she'd every known. Except for the shems she and Tamlen had feathered in the forest. Which she felt more and more guilty about with each step she took at Duncan's side.
What if they were more like him, than the fairy tale monsters she'd been told they were?
They were due to arrive at Ostagar before midday, and Kaei was just happy that she'd managed to compose herself. The night before . . . nightmares didn't cover it. Tamlen died again and again in front of her eyes, but unlike the reality of it, where she saw nothing, in her dreams he bled and they tore him apart. She'd woken screaming and sobbing, to find Duncan crouched over her, a line of worry between his brows. She struck at him, pummeling his chest with her fists.
Instead of moving away, or grabbing her hands, he just took it, and let her beat on him. She screamed, incomprehensibly. Until finally she fell apart in a choked sob, and like a father, Duncan gathered her into his arms and let her sob against him.
"I recognize your pain," he said finally. "And I honor it."
He hadn't said anything else, and he didn't need to. From that moment on, Kaei suddenly felt at ease in his presence. Shem or not . . . ah, she realized she shouldn't call him that, or even use that word again. He was a human, true, and she an elf. But he was kind, and soon . . soon he would be her brother. No different from the kinship she felt with the other hunters. As they walked, Kaei glanced over at him, and he nodded, smiling sadly. It was about time she made some new attitudes. If she wanted her vengeance, Duncan would be the one to guide her to it.
"Duncan?"
"Hm?" he replied.
"I, ah, want to thank you," Kaei said haltingly.
"For what?" he asked, his brows drawing together slightly.
"For giving me this chance," she replied. "For not turning me away, because . . . I'm a Dalish."
"You are a person," he said softly. "And soon to be my sister. Elf, dwarf, human, it is all the same to me."
"I didn't think humans felt that way, I mean, I was always told . . . ," she started.
He interrupted, "Some do not feel as I do. I will give you no illusions of such. But as a Gray Warden, once you are, that will overshadow anything else that you are. However, if it means anything, I am sorry for what my people have done to yours."
"I . . . thank you," Kaei replied. "Of all the things I expected to hear in my life, that was not one of them."
Duncan smiled. "There are many things to come that I am sure you will say that about."
"Like what?" Kaei asked. "I mean, honestly, I don't think I really know anything about the Gray Wardens."
"You'll see," he replied cryptically.
"What?"
Duncan chuckled, "I love saying that. But to be truthful, there is nothing I can say that will prepare you for what is to come. It will change you, and . . . well, we can speak more about it in the weeks to come. There is much to learn, but for now, just be content that I have great faith in you. You have survived the taint in you thus far, and it bodes well."
"For what?" Kaei asked.
"You will see," Duncan said again, turning back to the road. Kaei wanted to say more, but before she could they came to the crest of a hill and the ruin of Ostagar suddenly spread out before her. It took the words out of her mouth. It was a crumbling skeleton, but in the broken stones she could see it's former glory. She'd never seen anything like it.
"Our numbers are few," Duncan said, as the packed earth of the road became the stone of the path to the keep. "But all of us are here. They've won two battles against the darkspawn already, but if we cannot hold them here . . . ." He was cut off by the clanking of armor. A tall man with pale blonde hair brushing the shoulders of his golden armor stalked towards them, flanked by a pair of guards in grey plate. There was a wide, earnest smile on his face.
Kaei was shocked to realize that he was handsome. Which was entirely unexpected. His face didn't have the sharp angles of an elven face, but there was something about the strong line of his jaw and the dusting of golden hair on his cheeks and his chin that was rather appealing. His grin spread wider as he thrust out his hand. Duncan grasped his wrist in greeting.
"Your Majesty, I didn't expect . . . ," Duncan began.
"A royal welcome?" the man replied jovially. "I was beginning to think you would miss all the fun!"
"Not if I can help it your Majesty," Duncan replied.
"Then I shall have the mighty Duncan beside me in battle after all, glorious," he replied. Kaei smiled despite herself. The man, this King, King Cailan if she was recalling correctly; his enthusiasm was infectious. She found herself staring at him, trying to determine why the lines of his blocky, wide face were so appealing.
"And this must be the new recruit you sent word about. Ho there friend, might I know your name?" the King asked.
"I am Kaei, your Majesty," she said, amazed again at herself. The Dalish had no King, yet somehow if he was her King, that might be all right.
"It is good to finally meet you. You are Dalish are you not? Your people have a reputation for being great warriors, and I am honored to have you with us."
"Thank you," Kaei stammered. Were all the humans she met going to be so damned . . kind? Her entire idea of the world seemed to be coming apart in tatters.
"I bring word from your uncle that Redcliffe forces could be here within a week, your Majesty," Duncan said.
"Ah," Cailan laughed. "Eamon just wants in on the glory. I'm not even sure this is a true Blight, after all. We've one two battles against these monsters already, but alas there's been no sign of an archdemon."
"Disappointed your Majesty?" Duncan said, his voice somber and slightly sarcastic.
Cailan seemed to miss his tone entirely. "I was hoping for a battle like in the tales, a King fighting with the fabled Gray Wardens against a tainted god, but I suppose this will have to do."
"I didn't realize things were going so well," Kaei said hesitantly.
"They are, my friend, " Cailan said. "But we are glad to have new Wardens with us nonetheless. I hate to cut this short, but I must return to my tent where Loghain waits to bore me with his strategies," the King said, annoyance creeping into his voice. "But let me tell you this, you are most welcome here, Gray Warden." He smiled broadly again, and rested his gauntled hand on Kaei's shoulder for a brief moment. "And now I must go, before Loghain sends out a search party." He grinned and nodded before stalking off.
Before Kaei could gather her thoughts, Duncan spoke. "What the King says is true, they have won two battles already."
"He didn't seem to take the darkspawn very seriously," she replied, still watching the King's disappearing form. He walked with a swagger she hadn't realized was possible in plate armor. Duncan started to walk and gestured for her to follow. Kaei tore her eyes away reluctantly.
"No Blight has ever been defeated with so little cost," he continued. "But we have much to do before the battle tomorrow night, so it serves us little to dwell on it."
"What do I have to do?" she asked.
"Explore the camp as you will, I only ask that you do not leave it for now. There are two other recruits in the camp that you may want to meet, and there is another Gray Warden by the name of Alistair. He will be helping you as you prepare for the Joining. When you are ready, seek him out and come find me at the Gray Warden tent," he explained.
"I will do as you ask," she said softly.
"Don't forget to get some rest," Duncan smiled. "You will need it."
Finally, Kaei was left alone with her thoughts. She watched Duncan stride off across the spanning bridge to the main body of the keep. They were strange, these humans. There was no doubt about it. But yet . . . they weren't anything like she expected. She felt the sudden urge to tell Tamlen all about it; he would have thought it was so interesting. But then the specter of his . . . absence loomed. Her heart sank a little, but she steeled herself. He would want her to be strong. She leaned against the stone wall flanking the bridge and tried to take it all in. She had no idea it would be so big. Certainly she'd seen ruins before, and little villages with sprawling estates lording over them. From afar anyway. But in comparison, Ostagar was the entire world.
Kaei felt very strange. And mildly ill. Before this all began . . . the day her life changed, she'd murdered three humans in the forest, with the man she thought she would spend the rest of her life with. And now, Tamlen was dead, her clan was lost to her, and she was sitting on a stone bridge to a giant human built keep, pondering exactly why the human King was handsome. She was offended by the thought, but somehow, she thought than Tamlen would have found it hysterical.
He'd never been the jealous type. As long as she was with him, whatever else she chose to do, well that was her business. And one thing she'd never forget about Tamlen was his rashness, and his insatiable curiosity. It was true, that his curiosity had gotten him killed, but he would be so disappointed in her if she didn't experience everything, see everything. And live her life with as much passion as she could muster. Her vengeance and her life . . . he'd want it to be . . . well, like King Cailan said, glorious.
Kaei took a deep breath. "It's all for you, Tamlen," she whispered. "Everything." And with that, she started her way across the bridge towards her new life.
