Phlegm lapels for the last time
Corn beef legs for the last time
Oh, we're so glad
That you've finally decided

But then you see someone new
And you want someone new
So you have someone new
I don't blame you
We would all do the same as you
If ever we had the nerve to

Chips with cream for the last time
The People's Friend for the last time
Oh, we're so glad
That you've finally decided

Tiny striped socks for the last time
Pokes and prods for the last time
And the doctor said
"Don't nod your head until June !"

But then you see someone new
And you want someone new
So you have someone new
I don't blame you
We would all do the same as you
If ever we had the chance to

Sick at noon for the last time
And who is going to clean up ?
Would you be so kind ?
Oh, everybody's staring
At the strange clothes that you're wearing

Bad advice for the last time
And people being nice for the very first time
Oh, we're so glad

--

"I have to pee on it!?"

Several people turned to look at him as he stared at the small box, mouth agape. A older lady with pink curlers in her silver hair stared at him.

L mentally sighed and blew a strand of black hair away from his face; her eyes moved from the 'pee stick' (as he so lovingly called it), to his flushed face. L stared at her, letting his lips slowly curl into a smile that he liked to call: "The smile of extreme discomfort!"

The woman lowered her eyes quickly, and shuffled towards the magazines. Pfft, typical.

L sighed again as he placed three boxes (he wanted to be sure) of the stupid pregnancy tests on the Walgreens counter; the emo make-up of the cashier girl was beginning to smear.

She gave the detective a shy smile and placed his 'purchases' into the customary plastic bag. Her joyful red smock shined brightly despite the late hour, and her name tag read (screamed, rather) 'Hi! I'm Sakura!'

"I hope you and your girlfriend are happy with the baby." L turned and gave her a look that read: Are you and IDIOT?!

"These are for myself."

--

No. No. NO!

L stared, eyes wide, at the pee stick; his mouth had slacked, and his eyes had widened to beyond their normal 'wideness'.

Howcould this have happened!? He was a man, for god's sake! But…how many had it been? Tests later, all had the overly cheery pink plus sign.

L was sure that it was this sign of the devil. The apocalypse.

For L anyway.

God dammit.

-

-

I swore to myself that I would NEVER write M-preg, but…here we go!

This song is another Morrissey song called "Pregnant for the last time', a funny song.

Today is my eldest sister's birthday (Kitsune-bot), she'll be twenty-one; also my friend Sarah's birthday was last week, so this chapter is dedicated to both of them! Lot's of Love!

Please review.