A/N: Sorry it took so long to get this one up today, I have been home sick since Tuesday. Went to the doc yesterday, 4 prescriptions and a shot in the ass later, they concluded I have a bacterial infection in my lungs and sinuses. Fun huh? So without further a due…Jacob and Bella.

As always thanks to StephieB for everything girlie!!

Stephenie Meyers owns all that is Twilight I just play with the characters.

Chapter 12

Broken Heart

BPOV

It is now a little after three in the morning on Sunday. I can't get Edward out of my mind. I tried to go to sleep but every time I our telephone conversation replays in my head. I am still in shock that he actually feels the same about me as I have been feeling for him these past few months. I can't explain the draw I have towards him or the way my heart leaps out of my chest when I hear his voice. I have never felt this way, not even with James. I want to know every single detail of Edward's life. What his favorite food is? If he drinks coffee and if so how does he take it? What is his favorite color? Who was his first love? Like I said…Every detail.

My heart is also heavy knowing what needs to be said to Jake, just the thought of him coming over later has my stomach in knots. I do not want to break his heart but I am afraid there will be no way around it. As much as I want to make this as painless for Jacob, heart break never is.

The past few months with Jake have been fun. He only wants to make me happy. Taking me places that I wanted to go, sacrificing his wants for mine, in true Jake fashion always knowing what I need before I even knew.

I roll over and sigh, this is going to be hard so very hard.

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I finally fell asleep around four only to wake at eight. I throw the covers back and walk into the bathroom. I look up at my reflection and groan internally.

God Bella you look like you have been rode hard and put up wet! I chastise myself.

After brushing my teeth and putting my hair up in a messy bun, I head downstairs to the kitchen to start breakfast. I am sure Alice and Jasper are hungry after that all night love fest I was forced to listen to last night…..another reason I got no sleep last night. I am finishing the buttermilk pancakes and bacon, when Alice and Jasper make their appearance.

Just as I am busily plating the breakfast, Jasper reaches around and steals a piece of bacon before I can ever react. Damn he is fast. "Bellarific, you are the shit right now, I am starving!" Jas manages to say between chews of his pilfered bacon. I just shake my head and laugh.

Alice and Jasper really were made for each other. Whereas Alice is hyper and tends to over react, Jasper has this calm and cool thing going on. You just feel totally at ease when he is around. He could almost pass for one of those laid back California boys if you didn't know him. They totally balance one another out.

I grab the plates and set them down in front of them. Alice looks up at me and cocks her head to the side, raising her eyebrow. Damn that Pixie she can always tell when something is not right with me. "Bella is everything alright? You seem a little out of it this morning."

"Yea…No…I mean…oh hell Alice I don't know what I mean! " I plop down in my chair and start pushing pancakes around with my fork. "I mean Ally everything is so fucked up in my head. Things are just happening so fast. The thing with Edward, whatever it may be, then there is the Jake issue and I honestly do not know where to start with that. He will be here in a couple of hours and I am freaking out because I do not want to hurt him. I cherish our friendship and I don't want to lose that. But I know I can't have my cake and eat it too, and this…." I wave my hands around me "is not fair to him. I know that." I sigh and refocus on pushing the bacon around this time.

Alice jumps and runs over to me, wrapping her small frame around me. I usually am not one for hugs, but at this moment it is exactly what I need. "Alice, thanks I needed that." I smile up at her.

"Anytime, Bells. I know that things have not been easy for you, but I totally see them getting better. Remember I just know these things." She says as she taps her head. "And besides I think Edward Cullen is going to be a good thing for you Bella. I just do. Don't worry so much, these things have a way of working themselves out." She pats me on my knee and gets up and walks back over to Jasper.

I feel tons better after talking to Alice, I start to clear the dishes away and that is when I realize the time, it is nine thirty, crap! Jake will be here in thirty minutes. I hurriedly throw the dishes in the dish washer and run upstairs, jump in the shower and jump out. I throw on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. I look at my hair. I decide there is no helping it so I just throw it into a ponytail. Just then I hear a knock at my bedroom. I open the door and there stands Jake, all six foot five of him.

You are really stupid, you know that. He is really one sweet piece of man meat! Not HELPING!

Jake steps in to my room and grabs me by the waist and pulls me to him placing a chastise kiss on my lips. "Bells, I missed you!" I pull back and smile up at him. "So Jake did you have a good time, buy any horses?" At this point I am trying to prolong the inevitable.

"Actually I picked up a couple of three year olds, I think will take cattle real easily. I should be able to put a couple of months of ride time on them. Then turn them around for a profit." Jake walks over to my bed and sits down.

Fuck can't he sit anywhere but on the gosh damn bed. This is going to be so awkward!

"Oh Bella I almost forgot while I was at the sale I ran into Tanya Denali, she had heard that I had ended up with that mare of yours. She wanted to know who I sold her too. There was no way I was going to tell her that. She was not very nice about it either. "Jake glances over at me.

Why the hell would Tanya be worried about Phoenix, she threw her out like old trash. That mare should not concern her at all.

"How do you mean, not very nice, Jake?"

Jake's brows are furrowed together now, like he is in an inner debate with himself. "Well Bella I am not sure if you want to hear this or not. It is not very good."

Now I am getting nervous! "What the fuck Jake! What did she say?"

His head snaps up and he is glaring at me "Shit Bella, alright. Tanya had heard that I bought Phoenix from a horse trader down near El Paso, Texas. Which she is right I did. I truthfully never asked the guy where he came by the mare, really didn't care to know. I figured I could fatten her up and sell her for a profit because she is a Palomino after all; folks go crazy for those yellow horses. Anyway back to Tanya. She was irate that the mare is even still alive. Apparently she never intended for the mare to ever stay in the states." He looks up nervously at me.

"What do you mean she never intended for her to stay in the states Jake?" At this point my heart is beating so fast I am sure Jake can hear it where he is sitting.

"Bella, Tanya sold Phoenix to a broker for the horse meat packaging plants in Mexico. She was supposed to be shipped down there for dog food." Jake said as he nervously wringed his hands.

"SHE SAID WHAT!" I feel tears welling up in my eyes, how anybody could be so cruel is beyond comprehension for me. Tanya Denali better hope I never see her, because lord help her if I do.

Jake pulls me closer and starts stroking my hair "Bella calm down, this is exactly why I didn't want to tell you."

I am infuriated now. I jump up off the bed. I start pacing back and forth. I need to get out of this room I need to think. I am just so saddened that someone could be so cruel and heartless to a horse I love so much. It does not make sense to me. "Jake did she say why she was on the meater's truck?"

He sighs and tentatively answers "No not really, she just hinted that the mare was dead to her the minute she stopped performing, so she was just making it so."

The tears are falling heavy now, Jacob gets up and walks over to me, pulls me in for a comforting hug. But I do not want to be comforted by him. I just want him to go away so I can be by myself. I jerk away to Jake's surprise, wiping the tears from my face. I start backing away from him, so I can sit back down, not trusting myself to stand right now.

"Look Jake. There is something else I wanted to talk to you about today. This…" I say as I waved my hand between us "is not working." I look down at my feet. I do not want to see the hurt in his eyes. I hear his feet shuffling on the floor.

"Bella you can't be serious! I didn't know anything about that horse when I sold her to you! I swear!"

Poor sweet innocent Jake, he thinks this is about what he told me.

Still looking down at my feet, the floor anything but him "Jake this is not about the horse, this is about us. I just…….don't feel the same way about you as you do for me. I tried, Lord knows I have. But in all honesty I just see you as a friend. My best friend to be exact, I know I am hurting you; shit Jake that is the last thing I want to do right now. But I have to be fair to you and THIS is not fair to you. You deserve someone that will love you with all their heart, give it to you unconditionally and I just can't do that. I just hope and pray that one day you will be able to forgive me so that we can be friends. Your friendship means more to me than anything Jake." I finally look up. What I see crushes my heart.

Jake's beautiful face is distorted by pain, pain that I caused.

God I am a heartless wench!

The tears are back with a vengeance now; I rise up from the bed and walk towards him. I just want to comfort him like he has done for me in the past. I know that he will not welcome it but I have to try anyway.

"Jake I am so, so sorry. I love you I do. But just not in the way that you want me too." I grab him by the neck and pull him close to me. I bury my head into his chest. We just stand there hugging for what seemed like an eternity. I feel Jake's massive hand cup my chin and pull my face up so that I am looking straight at him.

"Bella, frankly I had a feeling this was coming. I knew that you did not feel the same way for me. But out of my selfish needs I never said anything. I just wanted to keep you for as long as you would let me."

Ok really not helping the guilty factor I have going on or the tear flow.

I am blubbering like an idiot now "Oh Jake I truly do not deserve you! You deserve someone far better than me. Someone that will appreciate you for the wonderful man you are. I am going to miss you Jacob Black." I sniffle into his shirt.

His arms squeeze tighter around me. "I will miss you too Bella. I do want you to know that I will always be rooting for you and that yellow mare from afar. I am your biggest fan club. I will always be your friend Isabella Marie Swan no matter what. Never forget that….."

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End Note: Well there it is. Next Chapter up Tuesday. Thanks again for reviewing it really does make me feel so much better!