Jacob Have I Loved

Chapter 21

The next day in gym class, I can hardly concentrate. Last night, after Jake left, my mom came into my room, and we had a long conversation about my sex life. UGH! If I could die by mortification, I surely would not be standing here in my horrid tribal school T-shirt and matching daisy-duke gym trunks, trying to not get hit in the head with the volleyball. I can't believe how honest I was with her. Let's just say that now my mom knows everything—and I mean, everything. Well, she doesn't know about certain positions Jake and I have tried or anything like that, but she does know about the pregnancy scare. Luckily, she promised she wouldn't tell my father. She doesn't want my dad to go to prison for murdering my boyfriend. She thought it was funny, but it's hard for me to have a sense of humor about that. It almost makes me want to puke.

"JESS! HEADS UP!" I hear my friend Cierra's voice call out to me amongst my woes.

I look up. WHACK! Damn it! I just got hit in the nose with the volleyball.

"OW!" I grab my nose in reflex, closing my eyes to block out the pain. Shit, that's going to leave a mark!

"Jess, are you okay?" My classmate Stacey's hand is now on my shoulder. "I'm sorry. I was hoping you were going spike it."

"I'm fine." I shove her hand away, looking across to the boys' side of the gym. I spy Jake, Embry, Quil, and several other boys playing a game of basketball on the opposite court. The boys look so goofy in their gym uniforms, except for Jake, who could only look better naked. Oh, God, Jake naked. Why did I have to think about that just now? As if I didn't have enough things on my mind! Damn it!

"Jess, let's get some ice for that nose." Coach Qahla grabs me by the shoulders, pulling me toward the gym's exit.

"Really, coach, I'm fine." I tell her as I glance back over at Jake, who has now stopped to look in my direction. Beads of sweat stream down his face and neck and his T-shirt clings to his body, making me salivate more with every passing second. His smile then beams at me, and I forget where I am. I have to control myself or I might run over there and jump him with everyone watching.

"You don't look fine. You look, well, dazed." Coach Qahla forces me to look at her by cupping her hands around my face. "Maybe you should sit out the rest of the period."

I forcibly turn my head, so that I can see Jake again, and he winks at me. Damn it! I'm drooling.

"Jess, you are burning up!" Her hand is now on my forehead. "I think you might have a fever. Please go see the nurse."

"Ok!" I break free from her grip and begin to make my way out of the gym and to the nurse's office.

As I reluctantly walk down the hallway, I feel another sudden urge of nausea begin to build in my stomach. I cup my hands over my mouth and haul ass to the ladies' room. Darting into the first stall, I heave the contents of my stomach into the toilet. Luckily, my hair is tied back in a ponytail. Vomit hair is not a good look for me. The force of my up-chuck reflex leaves me gagging, gasping to breathe. I collapse to the floor, wiping my mouth and putting my head between my knees.

What the hell is wrong with me? If I'm not pregnant, then why am I throwing up again? Better yet, why haven't I gotten my damn period already? This is really starting to get annoying. Before I know it, I am starting to cry. Tears pour out my eyes, soaking the skin covering my knees. Something must be terribly wrong with me, and I dread what it may be. I could be *gulp* dying.

Suddenly, I hear footsteps enter the restroom.

"Jess, are you in here?" I recognize Steph's voice calling out to me.

"I'm here, Steph." I hurriedly wipe the tears from under my eyes, pulling myself back to a standing position.

"Throw up again?" She asks as I open the stall door to greet her.

Instead of answering her, I desperately wrap my arms around her and sob into her shoulder. Steph returns my embrace, and we stand there for what seems like hours, holding each other as best friends only could.

"Jess." She finally breaks the silence. "You need to go see a doctor. Something is wrong. I have a bad feeling about this."

"I know, Steph." I pull away from her, and she retrieves some tissue from the first stall and hands it to me. "Thanks."

"No problem, sweetie." Steph drapes her arm on my shoulder.

"That's not all, Steph." As I speak and dot my eyes with the tissue, the worried expression on her face worsens. "My parents found a condom wrapper in my room. They know about Jake and me . . . you know."

"Shit!" Steph affectionately squeezes me on the shoulder. "Oh, my God, Jess! Did they go totally ballistic?"

"Totally, and they grounded me 'until further notice.' " I peer at her, my eyes obviously red from the constant flow of tears.

"Wow, Jess. I guess I'll have to go without my best friend for a while. How will I ever survive?" Just as she speaks her last word, the bell blaringly resounds, interrupting our heart-to-heart. Nevertheless, her sarcasm makes me laugh. "Come on, let's get you out of these lame sweats! Jake will never want you again in these." I smile, and she begins to lead me out the ladies' room. "No, wait." She pushes me forward.

"What?" I confusedly turn my head to question her.

"Your ass looks fabulous in those shorts! Nevermind." Steph rolls her eyes and then winks at me. She pulls me close with both arms for another hug as we both laugh hysterically at her compliment.

"Wait though. How's my nose?" I ask, running back to one of the mirrors. "Whoa, it's not even red!"

"Of course, you're Superwoman, chica." Steph links her arm with mine. "Come on, now, bitch."

My sense of hope is restored as we exit the ladies' room and enter the hallway. I'm so fortunate to have a friend like Steph. She has never let me down even though I have let her down many, many times. We continue to cackle like twelve-year-olds, almost skipping down the hall toward the girls' locker room.

"Jess, wait up!" My heart instantly leaps in my chest with the sound of Jake's husky voice.

"Ok, that's my cue! Later, babes." Steph laughs and kisses me sweetly on the cheek, leaving me face to face with my one true love.

"Hey, Jake." I notice he has now showered and changed into his regular clothes.

"I really need to get to Biology, but here." He grabs my hand and slips a folded sheet of paper into my palms. Then, he plants a small peck on my cheek, smiles, and heads back in the direction he came.

After watching his form disappear down the hallway, I hastily open his note, not caring that I might be late for my next class. My mouth forms a wide, goofy grin as I read those seven little words:

First Beach.

After School.

I'll be waiting.

~Jacob

RINNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGG! The tardy bell jolts me from my thoughts. Damn it! I'm late for class, and I still haven't changed. Oh, well, at least I have something to look forward to when the last bell rings today.

****************

Later that afternoon, I find myself running toward First Beach. After receiving a detention from Mr. Trueblood, my English teacher, for being fifteen minutes late to class, I have daydreamed about meeting my beloved on the beach all day long. I think I even flunked my Biology quiz. But that's okay. I could hardly concentrate from the anticipation of being with Jake alone again in our cave.

As I reach my destination, I trample upon the myriad of smooth stones aligning the shore, searching endlessly for my Jake. The wind wildly tosses my hair about my shoulders, and I hope with all my heart and soul that he has not forgotten me.

Suddenly, I see someone positioned off in the distance on a driftwood log. We notice each other almost immediately, and he begins to make his way toward me. It is my Jake. I pick up the pace, almost sprinting down the sand to meet him.

Jake stops short, leaving about a yard between us, and stares into my eyes.

"Hi." He simply says, smiling.

"Hello." I shyly respond, mirroring his grin.

Before I know it, Jake lunges at me, grabbing the sides of my head with both palms and kissing me fiercely with his soft lips. I clutch him to me with my hands around his waist, feeling my whole body ignite with an unquenchable hunger for him. After several minutes of lip lock, Jake parts his lips from mine, gasping for air. I'm left utterly breathless as well.

"Let's finish what we started the night of the bonfire." Jake raises his eyebrow, his mouth morphing into a wicked smirk.

"Gee, let me think." I pretend to be deep in thought, placing a finger on my chin. "Hmm, I got in trouble for that last time."

Jake pulls me back to him, pulling up my left leg and hooking it around his waist. He presses his lips desirously back to mine and runs his left hand between my thighs. He then gently brushes his fingers across the area starving for him, making my whole body quiver in response.

"How about now?" His mouth begins to suck the skin just under my ear.

"Um. Sure, sure." I smile, closing my eyes, and enjoy the sensations surging through my body.

"Let's go." Jake whispers in my ear, sending shivers down my left arm. My leg drops back to the sand, and he takes my hand, running with me toward the entrance to our cave.

Once inside, clothes blurrily start to fly everywhere, and before we can even blink, we collapse to the sandy floor of the cave, every inch of our bare skin touching the other's.

Our lips meet again, urgently and in wanting. Jake raises my leg again, wrapping it around his waist and running his fingers in between my legs. He teases my clit several times and then slips his middle finger inside me, and I moan as he starts to move it in and out of me.

Unexpectedly, he stops and removes his finger. "Jess, I need you." He breathlessly tells me, thrusting himself into me with all his might.

Looking into my eyes, Jake begins to make love to me, slowly, tenderly, without the desire to rush through it. It feels unbelievable. It's incredible and mind-blowing how pleasurable our lovemaking has become. Jake cups both hands around my face, kissing me sweetly on the lips. A state of over-whelming bliss washes over me like a sweeping wave, and my eyes begin to flood with tears. I return his kisses, wrapping my arms around his back and pulling him deeper into me. I don't care if I have an orgasm, the feeling of him inside me is enough to satisfy me for today.

"I love you, Jess." Jake releases my lips and looks into my eyes.

"I love you, too, Jake." I speak, tears streaming down my cheeks. This is the most beautiful thing I have ever experienced. It is like the first time all over again, and I hope it won't be the last.

Seeing the tears on my cheeks, Jake begins to plant tiny kisses all over my face. "What's wrong, baby?"

"I'm just so happy." His lips form a wide smile, and he affirms, "Me too."

Jake continues to make love to me for what seems like hours of perpetual ecstasy, both of us finally surrendering as we reach our peaks simultaneously. Our bodies still connected as one, we both fall asleep in each other's arms, completely and utterly consumed in rapture.

*****************

"Jess, wake up!" I open my eyes only to see Jake frantically trying to get dressed. "We fell asleep! The sun's almost down!"

For a moment there, I have forgotten where we were. Then, I realize. "Shit! My ass is grass if I'm not home before my parents!"

I jump to my feet and begin to dress, nervously fumbling with the zipper on my jeans. Jake, now fully clothed, attempts to help me. "Jess, I'm sorry for this. It's all my fault."

"Jake, please stop apologizing for everything." I'm a little annoyed that he could possibly think that I didn't want this as well. "That was the most beautiful thing I've ever done."

"It was, wasn't it?" Jake takes me into his arms, peering into my brown eyes.

"It was definitely the best time for me." I smile.

"Yes, the best by far." He smiles wider than his face could possibly allow, kissing me lovingly on the lips.

"Well." I finally force myself to stop our kiss. "I need to get home."

"Yeah. Me too." He helps me continue to dress and then takes my hand as we exit our cave out onto the beach.

After about fifteen minutes, Jake and I part ways. It saddens me to be apart from him after sharing that incredible experience with him, but you have to do what you have to do sometimes.

The sun has now gone down, and the moon is shining in all her glory. I decide to take a detour through the woods, so that I can stay off the main road just in case my parents drive by on their way home from work. I couldn't risk getting caught walking home at this time of day. After all, I could always sneak in the back door and tiptoe up the stairs without anyone the wiser. I begin to hash out my plan as I trudge through the thick brush of the forest.

Without warning, my skin starts to itch and then burn. It is as if my skin is discharging itself from my body. Fire erupts inside my veins, and I feel myself falling to the twigs and patches of grass below. I look up through the trees, and white spots begin to cloud my vision. What the fuck is happening to me? I feel a low growl start to build inside my chest, and fear overtakes me. I'm dying, and I will never see Jake, my family, or my friends again.

Then, as quick as a flash of lightning, the pain surmounting inside my being comes to an over-whelming climax. My skin feels as if it is being ripped from my bones, and I charge forward, my clothes flying all around me in tiny shards. I can see everything and smell everything too. My hearing is so heightened that I can hear the waves crashing to the sand on First Beach miles away. I look down at my hands, but I no longer have hands. They have been replaced with furry paws. WHAT THE FUCK? Am I dreaming?

Suddenly, a rustle of cracking tree branches makes me turn my head to the right, and someone or something emerges from the surrounding trees. I hear myself snarl with the growing threat before me.

The dark figure cautiously holds out a hand and begins to speak, "Do not be afraid, my child."

Attn: So most of you were right! Who do you think the "dark figure" is? I would love to hear what you think! Thank you as always for your reading and feedback!