"Andaran atish'an sister," Mithra said. "It is good to see another of our kind, we do not see enough . . . ," she paused, her voice turning cold. "But you have interesting companions. What business do you have here?"
"I come on behalf of the Gray Wardens," Kaei said. Mithra's eyes narrowed.
"Gray Wardens," Mithra echoed. "Ah, that would explain your shemlen and flat-ear fellows, I suppose. Let me take you to see Zathrian then." She motioned for them to follow.
Kaei swallowed. You can't go home again. Leliana was right. But what she wouldn't have given to have Leliana's steady presence with her now. She glanced back at Zevran. He seemed to be having the same idea. She thought maybe they'd be less suspicious with another elf in her company, perhaps ignore the human man and old mage. But Mithra's eyes told her otherwise.
Kaei had heard of Zathrian. Every Dalish had. The first to rediscover the immortality of her ancestors, or so it was believed. He'd been alive for centuries, and knew more of the ancient ways than anyone alive. She wondered what he would think of her. A Dalish who's lonely path was no longer of the Elvhenan. A path now of the Gray Wardens; a path hand in hand with a human. Would he be more forgiving knowing a new tree grew in the Brecilian Forest, reaching towards the sun? A second tree in honor of Tamlen and all he stood for planted equally by her hands and those of her human friends? Yet unlike the first, his body lay beneath this one, finally at rest. Would Zathrian understand?
The moment he came into view, Kaei was intimidated. He was tall and lank, the pale dome of his head hairless, his tall forehead decorated with the most intricate tattoos Kaei had ever seen. His eyes blazed when he saw her companions. He grit his teeth, but had the tact not to say anything. She was no longer a Dalish in his eyes, that much was clear. She was a Gray Warden, and nothing more.
He seemed so flippant in sending them into the forest and into the veil torn overgrowth looking for Witherfang. There was something he wasn't telling them. Kaei could feel it in her bones. But she wanted to trust him; she needed to trust him. So she took his word and led them towards the shadowy trees at the edge of the camp, past the stone visage of Fen'Harel who stood staring into the darkness.
"Wait!" Lanaya said, grabbing her arm fiercely. This was Zathrian's first, the keeper in waiting should he ever choose in uthenara. Her eyes were blazing. "I must speak with you."
Kaei pursed her lips. "Yes?" she said, her teeth clenched.
"I want to know," Lanaya said. Her cheeks flushed. "I want to know about these companions of yours."
"What?" Kaei asked. "We," she continued, gesturing to Alistair, "Are Gray Wardens. These are our friends. What else is there to know?"
"This one," Lanaya said, pointing at Zevran. "Is a flat ear."
Zevran growled. Lanaya ignored him.
"This one is a mage," she continued, dismissively gesturing to Wynne. "And this one is a human, a Gray Warden and obviously your lover."
"Excuse me?" Alistair blurted. "Did you . . . . "
"Are you going to deny it?" Lanaya asked. Kaei tried to interrupt, but Alistair spoke first.
"No," he said seriously. "I won't deny it."
Kaei shot daggers at Lanaya with her eyes. "What business is it of yours?"
"It is my business, as the first of a Dalish clan, it is my business to make sure all Dalish do their part in continuing the clan. And keep our bloodlines strong."
"Are you afraid I'll come home with my tail between my legs and a human bastard in tow?" Kaei spat. "Well, there's nothing to worry about there. I am a Gray Warden. I will not be having any children, human or elven. And I have no intention of returning home if this is what I can expect as a welcome."
"I am so disappointed in you," Lanaya said grimly. "You are . . . not one of us any longer. You consort with shemlen, intrigue and politics. You are human now, in spirit if not in body."
"How dare you?" Kaei snapped. "You were not born among the Dalish. How dare you propose to tell me what it means!" She growled; a feral aggressive sound. "Yes, I love this man, and his race does not matter to me. Nor should it. How can the Dalish ever expect to be free if they cage themselves with hatred?"
"So you wear chains willingly, do you?" Lanaya said, seemingly oblivious to Kaei's words. "And this is how Arlathan fell. I will not allow you to drag us back into their barbarian world."
"I have no chains," Kaei growled. "Only honor, something you know nothing about. I once thought that we Dalish were better than the humans, but I see we are as hateful and small minded as the worst of them. If you say I am no longer one of you, so be it. If you are what it means to be Dalish, then I am not. And glad of it." Kaei snarled. "But still I will go into this creator forsaken wood and find Witherfang. I will save your hunters, since you are too cowardly to do it yourself. This will be my last service for the Dalish. Once that is done, I will simply be a person and a Gray Warden. And I will be better for it!"
Lanaya snorted. "Creators watch over you, outsider."
"I cannot," Zathrian panted. "I cannot defeat you. No more."
Kaei scowled down at him. This is what it meant to be Dalish perhaps. This unending hatred, this pain for something they could no longer even remember. But also defeated, and weak. Kneeing in the dust, paying for blood magic and bitterness with life and spirit alike. It would be the death of him, Kaei knew this.
"Finish it, kill him now!" Swiftrunner growled.
"No Swiftrunner, we will not kill him," The Lady of the Forest intoned softly, her sibilant voice echoing in the chamber. "If there is no room in our hearts for mercy, how may we expect there to be room in his?"
"But I cannot do what you ask," Zathrian replied. "All I can see is the faces of my children, my people. How can I let this go unpunished?"
"Don't you think they have been punished enough?" Kaei said suddenly. "The crimes committed against your children were horrific. I do not deny this. But those that committed them are long dead. We cannot continue to hate; we can not."
"I am too old to know mercy," Zathrian sighed, his voice heavy. "Perhaps I have lived too long. This hatred in me is like an ancient gnarled root. It has consumed my soul."
Kaei's heart broke just a little at the pained sound of his voice. She knelt down beside him, putting her hand on his shoulder.
"Zathrian, " she said softly. "Hahren. Do not let the legacy of our people be one of hatred. We were a great people once, ancient and immortal. We won't gain that back by being cold and bitter. I have learned this, traveling in the human world. Yes, there are many there that hate too, but not all. There is goodness there. Denying it only lessens us further."
"You . . shame me da'len," he whispered. "How is it that you have found your way to let go of your hate, when I have lived so long and it has only grown stronger?"
Kaei looked back at Alistair over her shoulder. "I have replaced hate with love, hahren. There is no other way."
Slowly, the Lady of the Forest, Witherfang, knelt down beside them. "You are my maker, Zathrian. You gave me form and consciousness where there was none. I too have known hatred and love, and all the other pleasure of mortality. Yet of all things, I desire nothing more than an end. I beg you maker, put an end to me. We beg you. Show mercy."
"I am an old man," Zathrian said finally. "Alive long past his time."
"You will do it then? You'll end our curse?"
"Yes," he replied. "Yes, I think it is time. Time for all the Dalish to let go of this hatred that consumes us." He turned to Kaei. "Take my words to the clan, once I . . . am gone. I do not wish for their hatred to consume them, as it has consumed me. Let us be free, in all ways, at last." He turned back to the Lady. He smiled sadly. "Let us put an end, to all of this."
He gave Kaei one last sad look and then slowly a peaceful smile slid across his face. Raising his staff, he sighed and slammed it into the ground, the wood splintering in his grasp as he fell to the ground. Kaei looked up as the Lady gasped, her mouth open in grateful surprise.
"An end," she whispered, as her form wavered. Flowers burst from her skin in sparkles of golden light. Slowly her form coalesced into nothing more than a glow and then the glow faded away. The werewolves all fell to their knees and a blinding white light erupted forth. Kaei squinted her eyes at the brightness, but it faded as quickly as it came.
When she could see again, the werewolves were gone. In their place there was men and women. Human again at last. Kaei gave a long shuddering sigh.
"It's . . . over," one of them said. It was a man who stood where Swiftrunner had been. Kaei could see in his eyes that it was the same being. Though the form was different now, he had the same eyes. But now, instead of anger and rage, those eyes were filled with relief. "She's gone, and we're human! I can scarcely believe it!"
"What will you do now?" Kaei asked.
"We'll leave the forest I suppose. Find other humans . . . ah I . . . thank you," he said finally. "We will never forget you for this. And we will remember your words. We will not let hatred drive us again, I swear this to you."
"I can ask for nothing more," Kaei said softly. With that, they fled the ruins, rightfully desirous to be free of the place. Kaei couldn't blame them. She turned to find Alistair smiling at her broadly.
"You never cease to amaze me," he said. Kaei cocked her head at him. "And I thought I couldn't love you any more," he continued. "But here it is."
Kaei smiled. Even here, with Zathrian's body at her feet, in ruins long worn by time, with all the death and sorrow of an ancient curse still lingering in the air, she was happy. Perhaps it was madness, this. But if this was what madness felt like, she welcomed it.
Lanaya spoke words for Zathrian as they committed his body to the ground. There was still an angry edge to her words, but his death and the truth of the curse had blunted it some. Her face was pale under her tattoos. Once the words were spoken and the others finally began to retreat in silence, Lanaya turned to Kaei at last.
"So it is done then," Lanaya said. "The curse is ended."
"It is," Kaei said. "With great cost."
"A price we would have paid much dearer, if not for you," Lanaya sighed. "Perhaps I was wrong in my judgement of you."
"No," Kaei said abruptly. "You were not. I am not one of you, not any more. I could not come home again, even if I wished it."
"No? Do not be so quick to make that choice. We . . . I, would be honored to count you among my clan," Lanaya said apologetically.
"I know," Kaei sighed. "But I am too changed to try to go back. On this path that I now walk, there is no going back. Only forward."
"I suppose that is the way of all true paths, winding though they may be, one can never walk the same footsteps again," Lanaya said.
Kaei chuckled. "You are a Keeper to the core. Speaking in poetry already."
"I do that," Lanaya smiled. "And I do have one last poem to share with you. It is a warning perhaps, one you may not heed, but I must."
Kaei furrowed her brow.
"It is an old verse, told of the humans by our ancestors," Lanaya explained. "Like dragons they fly, power on wings. Like dragons they savage, fearsome pretty things."
"Don't," Kaei snapped. "They are not."
"Aren't they?" Lanaya replied tersely. "What of this man that follows you? Is he not equal parts love and savagery? What will happen when this is all over and you no longer have a common goal? Will he still look at you with adoring eyes or will you become a painful inconvenience?"
"Never," Alistair said, interrupting them.
"You say this now, but I know who you are," Lanaya spat.
"And who is that?" Alistair rumbled.
"You are to be king of the humans, are you not?" Lanaya said. "And what can an elf be to a human king?"
"I . . . ," Alistair began.
"Enough!" Kaei shouted. "It is not your concern, Keeper. I will walk where this path leads. Your words will not change it."
"As you wish," Lanaya sighed. "But take care that your path does not lead you to ruin."
