A/N: I know this is a shorter chapter but I really wanted to show where Bella's mind set it right now. Stitches come out tomorrow Yippee!!!!!

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all that is Twilight.

Chapter 25

Emptiness

BPOV

I don't even remember the drive back to Phoenix. I only remember pulling up to my mom's house and running to the barn. I can't believe this has happened to me again, I think to myself as I stop in front of Phoenix's stall she is the only thing I want to see right now. Phoenix's big brown inquisitive eyes study me as she hangs her head over the door. I open the door and go in burying my face and hands into her mane and I just let the tears overtake me.

I do not know how long I had been like that when I felt my mom's arms engulf me. I just fall in to her needing her and Phoenix now more than ever.

"Shh baby girl it is going to be alright. Alice called me worried about you. She told me everything." Renee starts stroking my back as she tightens her embrace around me.

"Mom I can't believe he would do this to me. I truly thought Edward was different." Still not able to control my sobs as another one rakes through my body.

"Sweetie did you even give Edward a chance to explain? Everything is not always what it seems ya know." Renee releases the hold she has on me as I struggle to step back.

I walk past my Mom not believing she is trying to take up for him, "You weren't there Mom, you didn't see what I did!"

I can hear Renee's footsteps behind me, "Bella I know I wasn't there, all I am saying is that because of all the things you have been through you only saw what you wanted to see and not necessarily the big picture!"

I wheel around facing my Mother, "Mom believe me when I say I know what I saw! Tanya was straddled Edward's lap and they were kissing, and I mean really kissing! Is that plain enough for you?" I stalk out of the barn heading for the rental.

"BELLA WAIT!" I stop waiting on my Mom to catch up with me, my breathing is erratic I just want to be by myself. I need time to think. "Bells, you have always been such a stubborn girl. Please just listen to me; I know that your first response to getting hurt is to flee. That is only natural you are protecting yourself, but sweetie don't let the best thing that has ever happened to you slip away because you were to prideful to listen to what he has to say. Will you at least give him a chance to explain? Can you do that for me?"

I sigh as I turn to face Renee, "Mom Edward has yet to tell me he loves me, after today I am not sure if he does. He has never really opened up to me completely, God knows I wish he would but for some unknown reason he won't. But I promise I will think about what you said, for right now though I just need to be alone…If that is alright?"

"Sure Bells, just please think about what I said. You know I will always be here for you no matter what." Renee turns walking towards the house.

I get into the car and drive towards my house, thinking about what my Mom said. Was I acting irrational? I know what I saw, but Mom is right I just jumped to a conclusion and said some pretty hurtful things to Edward. I pull into the drive as I turn the car off I grab my cell phone off the seat. I had turned it off because I didn't want to listen to anything Edward had to say. I turn it over and over in my hands debating if I want to turn it on.

No, not right now! I just want to sleep it has been a long emotional day.

I walk into the quiet house making my way up the stairs to my bedroom upon opening the door his scent is everywhere. I walk over to my bed and plop down. I take my shoes off with out untying them, falling back on the bed I start to replay everything that happened earlier today. The tears come back with the conflicting emotions racing through my body. I remember back to the first time Edward and I had sex. I call it sex because it was almost like he was holding back, like he was afraid. I wrote it off as maybe us moving to fast too soon, but now I realize maybe it was more than that.

I sit up rubbing my palms on my already red and swollen eyes. I grab my cell phone and hit the power button I set it down on the nightstand as I stand to walk into the bathroom to take a shower. When I step foot in the small room I look around, Edward's toothbrush, shaving cream and razor are sitting by the sink. The flannel sleep pants he had slept in the night before we left for Vegas are thrown haphazardly in the hamper. My heart starts to ache worse than it ever has.

He is everywhere!

I turn the knobs on in the shower as I undress and step in letting the water wash away the remnants of the day.

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I feel tons better after taking a shower, as I grab my favorite t-shirt and boxers out of the dresser my cell phone starts ringing beside the bed. I just stand there staring at it like it is a snake ready to strike. I am not ready to talk to him yet so I let it go to voicemail. I lay down on my bed hugging my pillow as I glance over at the clock.

Hm ten thirty I wonder how Jas and Em did tonight in their events?

I tentatively pick up the phone dialing my cousins number, she answers on the second ring.

"Bella? Are you alright? We have been so worried about you!" There is a lot of background noise on Alice's end of the phone causing her to talk louder then she normally would.

"Alice I am fine. I am home…I just wanted to know how the boys did?"

I can hear Rose in the background asking Alice if I am alright, "Tell Rose I am fine, you guys don't need to worry I promise. Now will you tell how they did please?"

Alice relays the message to Rose, then I hear the excitement in her voice, "You should have been here, Jasper was amazing he won the first round, Bells! His time was a 7.05. Can you believe it? He is now sitting second in the standings. If he can keep this up he will win this whole deal!" Alice pauses as she catches her breath, "Bella are you there?"

"Oh yeah sorry Alice I am here that is so great! What about Emmett?" I grab the remote control and turn the TV to ESPN2 hoping they will have a recap of tonight's rodeo on.

"Emmett did great too, he ended up fourth in the round tonight, so all in all it was a great night for them." I hear Jasper in the background say something to Alice.

"Ali where are you? It is awful loud where ever you are."

"Oh Bella I am sorry we are at the awards ceremony, it is going to start any minute now. Jasper won a buckle and a saddle for winning the round. He also won almost $17,000. Hold on a sec, I am going to walk out into the hall so I can hear you better." I can hear the rustling as Alice walks I hear a door open and close and it goes silent. "Alright this place is crazy right now, I had to come to the ladies bathroom just to get peace and quiet."

I chuckle softly at the image of my petite cousin sitting in a bathroom stall on her cell phone, "Ali I am so happy for Em and Jas they must be on cloud nine right now."

"Bella you and I both know that you just didn't call to find out about Jas and Em. Go ahead ask." I sigh knowing she is right there is a part of me that wants to know if he is alright.

"Okay Ali how is Edward?" I nervously start twisting my hair with my free hand.

"Edward left, not soon after you did. When you wouldn't answer his phone calls he packed up everything and was heading back to Phoenix. I know what you saw today was hard, but Bella please give him a chance to explain. I know how you can be you shut people out when you are hurting. Please don't shut Edward out, okay?"

My eyes start prickling with tears, I sniff slightly hoping Alice doesn't hear me, "Why does everyone keep saying that to me? Mom said almost the same thing you did Alice. He hurt me today and honestly it is not just today it is a lot of things. He won't open up to me, he holds back so much Ali! I just want him to feel like he can tell me anything and he doesn't. I gave him my heart and I am not sure if he really loves me. God I am stupid! I always fall for the damaged ones."

"Bella trust me when I say this, Edward was destroyed today. He does have some things he needs to work through, but so do you. You two are great together everything will work out I promise, get some sleep you sound tired, I will see you in a week. Love ya cuz."

I have stopped crying as I wipe the wetness from my face, "I love you too Ali. You guys be careful. Talk to ya later." I hang up the phone as I turn off the TV.

I grab Edward's pillow pulling it closer to me as I drift off to sleep.

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End Note: Next Chapter will be up Tuesday. Bella is very hard headed but can you blame her. She went through a lot with James, she is just trying to protect herself. Let me know what you think. Thanks for all the reviews on the last chapter.