October.

Chapter 7

Two days passed and it was October. As well as Wednesday. Cass picked Ackley as her part she related to most. Unluckily or luckily Rachel picked Allie's death same as me. If more people like Rachel picked that part I don't think I'd be able to deal with myself. Today, I just don't feel like I want to tolerate people like Rachel. Choosing that part about Ackley seems so appropriate today.

Ms. Masons is a little sick so she jsut hands up back our papers. Written across mine is red cursive: Very well done Elisa, this was a pleasure to read. Why don't you take part in the discussions in class? I look at the number in the same red ink. Group 7. I sigh and look up and around. Everyone is reaidng thier papers written all over with red. Mine has not a single correction.

"Alright," Ms. Masons says. "Get together with your groups already."

I feel bad about how unrespondent we are as a whole class. The nerds jump up and clump together. Rachel calls me over to her cluster of seats. It's a cluster of five. Rachel sitting at the head and me to her right. I carry my folded old copy of my book. And I jsut sit. Not saying anything looking down at the horse on the cover. I have no idea what it means. It's obviously part of a carousal. I just have no idea what that has to do with Holden.

"Group 7?"

"Yeah," Rachel says.

A girl sits down diagonal to me. She has so much eyeliner on and looks tired as hell. "Look, I wrote my fucking paper on my goldfish dying. I have no outlook on this pile of shit and words whatsoever."

"Alright," Rachel says annoyed. She can't stand people like this girl. I find her somewhat refreshing. She drops her head into her arms and makes a heap on the desk. She falls asleep quickly. Barely moving.

I look back down at the horse.

"Is this group 7?" I don't look up.

"Yes it is." Rachel says.

"Cool."

Ms. Masons isn't in the mood to spark deep discussions. So she hands out worksheet, very non-Ms. Masons-esque. Rachel doesn't respond to the rest of us once she has it in her hands. She jsut starts answering questions. Not talking ot the other three of us. I fold my cover back and forth where it is worn and flapping freely. It becomes addicting and mind-blowingly boring somehow.

It's mesmorizing also. Not really. It's jsut an old worn out book cover.

"I love Dashboard."

Those three words catch me off-guard. I look up. Shock fills me to no end. I hope he can't see it on my face. But you'd be surprised to if Bennett Williams commented on a band to you- especially if you doubted he knew you existed. I don't respond quickly which he takes as a sign I didn't hear him. Or he thinks I'm stupid or slow. "Dashboard Confessional," He nods at my shirt. "I love them."

At least I don't look down right away. "Yeah," I say. I catch how cocky I just sounded. "Me too." I bow my head in embarrassment. Hoping I'll just regret this later maybe shrug it off.

"Did you see them over the summer?" He asks, still going. Bennett Williams is starting conversation with me of all people. I don't remember what concert he's talking about. Actually I call concerts "shows" but I can't think of it.

Then suddenly I remember I went with Cass catching her throwing her bright hair over her shoulder. "Yeah," I say.

He keeps eye contact with me- Bennett Williams does. And he leans forward interested and motivated to keep the conversation going. "I missed it. I didn't have enough money that week to go. I had to see Sunday Drive that weekend."

"I love Sunday Drive." I catch myself saying.

His eyes light up. They're so sweet and brown. He smiles. He is so good-looking it's almost intimidating. But you'd imagine he'd be so emo he jsut depresses you or so cocky you can't stand to sit near him. But no. Bennett Williams just seems like an honest to god nice person in the few words I've said to him.

"Are you serious?" He asks. "I didn't know anyone here liked them. A few kids form Coolen do, but not many. Wow. Wait, here's the important question: which record do you like better the old one-thier first that's all acoustic- or the newer one?"

I think it over. I can't believe this. Bennett Williams is looking and talking to and smiling at me. "The first one." I say.

His eyes brighten even more. "Have you ever heard it on vinyl?" He asks.

I shake my head.

He falls back a little. "Aww," He ends up leaning more forward than he had before. "You've never heard it unless you've heard it on vinyl."

"I'll try and listen to it on vinyl sometime." I say smilign a little.

He smiles back at me. "How about Dashboard?" He says. "Which record do you liek best from them?"

I pause. "Swiss Army Romance." I say.

"I've been obsessed with The Places You Have Come to Fear the Most since the first time I ever heard it. I always thought that was a different sort of level about Swiss but I see where you're coming from."

That girl with two much make-up picks her head up and rests her chin in her arms looking at us and listening. I feel awkward now. Bennett doesn't notice it.

"What else do you listen to?" He asks.

"I've been listening to the Get Up Kids." I say after a few seconds of thinking. I feel sick in my stomach. So nervous and jsut not believing this is happening.

"'I'll Catch You' was the first song I ever learned on acoustic guitar." He says. "I wish I could have seen them live so badly."

"Me too,"

Rachel finsiehs the worksheet I guess. She looks up and listens.

"I've been listening to a lot of Deth cab for Cutie," Bennett admits nodding calming down a little. He seemed excited talking baout sunday Drive with me. It's so strange how we're feeling such oppossite emotions right now.

"I've heard of them!" Rachel says proudly.

Bennett just ignores her. "Do you like them?" He asks me.

This is a dream. I know it is. No boy would ever-ever-ever-ever-ever-ever-ever chose talking to me over Rachel. This was Bennett f*cking Williams. I feel a little thrown off right now. But I think and try and come up with an answer.

"Aren't they that emo band that was on Th O.C?" Rachel asks.

Bennett exchanges a look with me. I smile a little looking down at my book. I look up and see he's smiling too. "Yeah," He turns slowly to Rachel. "It is."

"I loved them- the lead singer is as ugly as sin though."

Eye-liner girl sits up straight. "You know what Rachel! Why don't you go back to the top of that fucking pyramid you sit on every second of your life and leave them alone. Can't you see they were having a conversation? Oh, wait, no you can't. You're ego doesn't let you see that a boy- heaven forbid- doesn't want to get into your pants all of a sudden. Nobody wants to listen to you go on about whatever shit you cheerleaders talk about." Then she just dropped her head.

We all jsut stared at her for a few seconds. Rachel shut up though. And Bennett exchanged another look with me. I'm trapped in an alternate universe aren't I? But no I don't tihnk I am.

"Okay, everyone get back to your seats." Ms. Masons says.

I get up taking my book and sliding in my chair. "We should talk about music some more," I look up Bennett is standing too. "You have great taste."

"Thanks," I say. Quickly I add "You too."

He smiles again and I walk back to my seat in a bubble. I feel like i'm on drugs or something. It's a miracle. Bennett Williams talked to me. It jsut hurts sometimes when you hit reality after somethings liek this happens. I'd rather things like tht don't happen to me. Becuase I regret a lot of the things I said or did and I worry about if it was worse than I remembered. But it was one hell of a story to tell Cass in math. I have to admit.