Chapter 13
Dave tocuhed my face. "You look better. The air helped, huh?" He seemed out of breathe. His hair was all screwed up and he was a little flushed. He must have been drinking.
"Yeah," I said. "It did."
I kept seeing those sad eyes. I didn't believe what had jsut happened either. Bennett Williams had opened up to me. And I had told him something I completely regretted. Now I'll be the creepy girl who came out of nowhere and dumped all of her issues onto him. I looked at Dave though. And I remembered what I had said to Bennett about loving Dave. I had been so dumb. I love Dave. He kissed me shortly and took my hand and led me back downstairs. It didn't get hot as it was. And I stayed down there with everyone.
Dave slipped me off into the corner and he started kissing me. I was nervous and shaky. But we finally got back to the party. Dave got really drunk though. And I saw Cass she was drunk too. Everyone was. Except me. I wondered if Bennett was still on the porch. Thinking about Rainie. And Paul- The guitarist. I hoped they worked everything out. Because I knew Bennett got hurt for them. So they could figure everything out. He knew they loved each other. I wondered what he was going to say to me after that Elisa... or if he knew Dave and I were in love. I figured he must have a little. At least sensed how much I cared for him and he cared for me.
I don't think he did. He didn't look like he did. Plus those eyes were getting to me. Those sad eyes.
When Dave kissed me I tasted alcohol. It was late and Dave was drunk. So I took his keys and we walked to his car. I sat him in the back. And he felt really sleepy. He took some pills. I was nervous. I drove to his house. His parents were dead alseep by then. Always were and always let me slip him into the house. Which I did.
Tonight though. I didn't have a ride home. Cass was off my list. Miles was probably taking care of her. And that left nobody.
I kissed Dave goodbye. He reached out for me but I slipped through his arms like air. And he called out for me. I left. It was pretty cold. And I walked home.
After a little while your legs go numb. Your hands get codl even in October. But you stop contolling what your tihnking. I counted the streets I passed. But other than that my mind drifted from one thing to the other. I was tired. It was like sleep walking without dreams.
I thought about Dave and me. And how perfect we were for each other. Then I was thinking about Bennett. He was a legend. I had my place. I belonged with Dave. Nobody else. Who was I kidding. Bennett and I would probably never share another second together. Then I started thinking about graduation. Dave was going to college. No doubt in my mind. And I was going ot be in Kerrington for another year. Seeing him go would probably hurt so much.
It was an hour walk. And when I got home I collapsed onto my couch. And woke up with a blanket on me. My mtoher in the kitchen making coffee quietly. And trying not to wake me up. And I jsut closed me eyes. Thinking how if Amber did this she'd scream her head off and liek she did that time- rip off her door and take her car. Me she didn't wake me. gave me a blanket.
You aren't me, kid.
I'm not. But I wonder what it was like in Amber shoes. I'm missong out sometimes I think of the expirences.
It was so quiet in my dark living room. But I stayed paralyzed my face buried into a pillow and my legs tangled in the fleece blanket I had on. I'm not you, I thought. but at least you were somebody.
I sat up stretching. My mother tiptoed in. "Elisa, honey, when did you get home last night?" She whispered looking at me.
"Not too late."
"I didn't hear Dave's car." She said. She wasn't even concerned. Her face was steady and unchanging. Not even a pang of worry was inside of her.
"Oh," I yawned.
"What did you do last night?"
"A coupel of Dave's friends had a party." I said. Lying to see if she cared.
"That sounds nice." She said smiling. "Make sure you're getting home on time tohugh. I'd hate for something to happen to you." Her voice was so warm and pleasent. Like a friend not a mother. Like a sister. While Amber treated me more as a daughter than my own mother. Mum probably thoguht I was jsut Elisa. The quiet daughter. I think I must take that for granted.
I smiled. "I'm gonna' go sleep in my room." I said getting up.
"I'll be in the office until six." She said. "Call me if you need anything. I'll bring home dinner, pizza good?"
"Sounds fine," I said going upstairs.
"You're such a good kid, Elisa. If only Amber had been like you."
