I am trying my hardest not to make this as much like Breaking Dawn as possible, but goddamnit, its harder than you think! It'll go somewhat like BD until the birth, is what I'm planning on. But ONCE again—I AM NOT A VAMPIRE PREGNANCY GURU! D: Don't hurt me. Alice's POV will be in this a teeny bit. Or a lot. IT DEPENDS ON WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I'M WRITING. o.O And I'm a little.. Loopy because its 7:15 AM, and I have yet to sleep. xD This is gonna sound.. a bit like.. Jake and Eddie's talk, but I'll try to change it as much as possible, I promise D; Change of plans. xD It's all in APOV. xD Continue.

Chapter Twenty-Three
Alice's Point Of View

I could hear Carlisle coming up the stairs, heading to the pull-down ladder that lead to where I was currently lodged. I felt like a vampire-bat in the belfry. I growled. I didn't like it.

Every time I got near Bella—because she was so close to that thing—her whole future blurred. It was like trying to look through a bad television reception, therefore, I had a psychic's headache. Staying as far from her as possible was helping me. I hadn't seen much of anyone since I'd spoken to the most frantic Carlisle I had ever spoken to in my whole life those two weeks ago, so I had no idea what to expect when Carlisle's body appeared out of the door in the floor—But it sure as hell isn't what I saw.

For a second I was just a nineteen year old—a vampire kid—but still a kid—in many ways, of whom hadn't been around for 363 years. Just a child. Because I knew I would have to live a lot more, suffer a lot more, to ever understand the searing agony in Carlisle's eyes.

When he was finally in the room, the trapdoor shut underneath him, he raised a hand as if to wipe sweat from his forehead, but his fingers scraped against his face as if they were going to tear the granite skin right off. His black eyes burned in their sockets, out of focus, seeing things that weren't there. His mouth opened like he was going to scream, but nothing came out. This was the face a man would have if he were burning at the stake.

"Carlisle," I started, resting my chin on my knees, my spiked hair somewhat in my face, "you look like hell." He just sighed and practically collapsed onto the floor in front of me. I paused. "It's killing her, right? She's dying." And I knew when I said it that my face had become a watered-down echo of his—no one could copy that face. And if they could, I mourned for them. Weaker, different, because, even after knowing for two weeks, I was still in shock. I was going to lose my best friend, most likely, and Carlisle would lose the woman he loved. I don't even want to know what Edward would do. I pushed the thought out of my mind.

I still hadn't wrapped my head around it yet—this was all happening too fast for my liking. He'd had time to get to this point. The last time I'd seen him—really seen him—he'd just looked worried. Now.. I can't even explain. And it was so different, because I'd lost Bella once before—or so we thought—when I'd seen her jumping off of the cliff, and sent Carlisle out here. That is actually why we're in this whole mess. Because of god-damned effing cliff diving.

"My fault," Carlisle whispered, and he sank further onto the floor. I'd seen him saying this, in his office, alone.. Repeatedly. I felt cold as stone. Well, colder than normal, like the temperature had dropped in the room when Carlisle'd mumbled that it was his fault. "Yes," he groaned into the floor, like he was confessing to the floor and what lay beneath it. "Yes, it's killing her." I just stared at my father, feeling remorse. I hated seeing him like this.

"She won't let you take it out of her." I didn't say it like a question. I had seen the fight before it had happened. It had ended up with Bella coughing so violently she coughed up blood. I believe that's when the "It's my fault" thing started. It made me think about how Bella it was. Of course—Die for the monster spawn. Not that Carlisle was a monster, but whatever could do that to Bella.. was.

"No. She won't." He was still face-down into the floor. That couldn't be very comfortable. I stayed where I was, pressed against the window, my petite body folded in on itself.

"Just back up a second. She won't let you." I could still see the vision in my head of the fight. "Did you ever notice that she's only about one-hundred-and-twelve-pounds soaking wet? Can't we just.. I don't know.. Knock her out? Anesthesia?" Even before I'd finished the sentence, another vision came to me, slamming into my head.

"I wanted to," he whispered, finally sitting up, and crossing his legs, resting his elbows on his knees and placing his palms on his forehead. "But I couldn't do that to her, no matter what it does to her. She obviously loves it." He cringed. "Him."

"So it's a him now?" I spat the word "him" out with vehemence. I knew Carlisle heard it.

"Yes. Bella's decided that it's a boy."

"What's she naming it?" I wasn't furious at Bella, I was furious at the thing inside of her.

"CJ," Carlisle mumbled, so low that I could barely hear it. "After me. Carlisle James. CJ Cullen. Carlisle James Cullen Junior." He sounded like he was going to cry. "My first and middle name, all wrapped up into one monster."

I slid back into thought again. Maybe we all should have thought this through before he'd gotten her pregnant with the life-sucking parasite.

He stared up at me now, from inside his own personal hell, and I could see that he had an idea of what I must be thinking. "We didn't know," he said, the words quiet as a breath again. "There's never been anything like Bella and I before—except for her and Edward." I snarled quietly, thinking about my brother. " How could we know that a human was able to conceive a child with one of us—" He stopped, making a choked sound.

"When the human ought to have been ripped to shreds in the process?" I offered, and he nodded. I'd been so out of the loop that I had no idea what was going on down in Bella World.

"They're out there.. The sadistic ones.. The incubus, the succubus. They exist. But the seduction is merely a prelude to the feast. No one actually survives." He shook his head like it revolted him—Like he couldn't understand why anyone would do something like that. I could, but I had tasted human blood before. Carlisle hadn't, not including the brief moments when he changed someone.

"I'd heard about that," I whispered. "I'm sorry, Carlisle."

"Can you see anything?" he asked, a hint of desperation in his voice. I shook my head no, resting it back on my knees. The look in his eyes faltered, and I apologized again once more, before he headed back down the ladder, leaving me to wallow in my headache, worrying about my best friend—and her life.

----
This song reminded me of Carlisle while Alice was talking to him. It Only Hurts When I'm Breathing by Shania Twain.

Hope life's been good to you
since you've been gone
I'm doin' fine now—I've finally moved on
It's not so bad—I'm not that sad

I'm not surprised just how well I survived
I'm over the worst, and I feel so alive
I can't complain—I'm free again

[Chorus:]
And it only hurts when I'm breathing
My heart only breaks when it's beating
My dreams only die when I'm dreaming
So, I hold my breath—to forget

Don't think I'm lyin' 'round cryin' at night
There's no need to worry, I'm really all right
I've never looked back—as a matter of fact

And it only hurts when I'm breathing
My heart only breaks when it's beating
My dreams only die when I'm dreaming
So, I hold my breath—to forget

It only hurts when I breathe

Mmm, no, I've never looked back—
as a matter fact

And it only hurts when I'm breathing
My heart only breaks when it's beating
My dreams only die when I'm dreaming
So, I hold my breath—to forget

Hurts when I'm breathing
Breaks when it's beating
Die when I'm dreaming
It only hurts when I breathe

SO SAD D:

Holy crow, I spelled Anesthesia right without needing to spell check it. xD I feel so proud. :D I'm pretty proud of this chapter. No sleep and its glorious. xD I think I did fairly well with making that my own, don't you think? Please comment on this one. This took more out of me than it should have. xD AND I SPELLED EVERYTHING RIGHT! - jumps in happiness - xD