Itachi and the Abandoned Car.
Ok. It starts of as this. One day, Itachi and Kisame were on their way to look for Naruto again, when they saw a car. It looked abandoned.
"Itachi... Look!" Kisame said, spazing out. Itachi, followed by Kisame, walked over to the car. "Lets look inside." Kisame said. They looked inside and saw it was empty, or at least it looked like it. "I wonder if anyone owns it..." Kisame said. (Itachi quickly made some hand signs)
"Kisame." Itachi said. "Where's your sword?" Kisame looked back and saw his sword was gone.
"OMFG!!! I'll be right back!!! I have to go find him!" Kisame sped off on foot.
"Moron" Itachi muttered.
It seems like their story is done, right? well its not. Its just starting. But first we have to switch to Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura. They find the car. One of the doors are open.
"Hey..." Naruto says. "Whats that? An abandoned car!! No... wait... someone's inside..." They approach the car and see a pair of feet sticking out of the car (with shoes on, of course.) they see a hint of the Akatsuki cloak. Sasuke was about to attack, when he stopped short, his eye twitching.
"Sasuke, Wha-" Naruto said, approaching, but stopped when he saw. It was Itachi. And his eyes were half closed, a wrap of Marijuana in his hand. He was high. He didn't seem to see or hear them at all. Sasuke and Naruto burst out laughing. Sakura saw and didn't think it was funny at all. She ran off, screaming. Well, it was Itachi, so yeah.
So eventually Naruto and Sasuke calmed down. Naruto pushed Itachi's feet in the car and closed the door, as Sasuke got into the front seat. Naruto got into the passenger seat and looked back at Itachi.
"Naruto... I know where he got that." Sasuke said. Naruto turned around and saw that the glove compartment was full of it. Absolutely stuffed with marijuana. and under the seats was beer. They began to wonder where all this stuff came from when Itachi spoke up. It startled them so much that they jumped and hit their heads on the ceiling.
"Hey... what are you doing? No touchy... Finders keepers" Itachi slurred. "I don't even know you..." They looked at him and saw that his eyes were still half closed, but now he was facing them.
"Itachi, Where did you get all this?" Naruto asked. Sasuke rolled his eyes. Itachi had clearly stated that he found it.
"Huh?" Itachi asked.
"I said-"
"Give it up, Naruto. He found it. He said that earlier."
"He did?"
"WHAT???" Itachi yelled. Naruto and Sasuke got ready to fight, but then Itachi whispered, "Naruto... Hmm... I know you, don't I?? Oh yeah... we were just about to go get you..." he slurred.
"We??" Naruto said, getting a bit on the nervous side.
"Yeah. Kisame went to find his sword that he didn't lose..." Itachi said, rubbing his head, talking more to himself than them. "I made him believe, using genjutsu, that his sword was gone...((Sasuke looked out the window and saw Kisame, looking like he was sleeping)) because... I've never tried..." Itachi's eyes opened wide. He sat up and the first thing he did was look at his hand. He lifted it to his mouth as he looked up to the 2 in the front seat. He realized who it was, and was about to get up to capture Naruto, when he took another drag. (He only became, uh, not high because it had been a while since he took a "drag"... heh heh... Itachi's high...)
About a minute later, he stopped and looked back at them. He grinned, reached down (Naruto and Sasuke got ready for him to pull out a weapon.) and handed them both a wrap of the stuff. Naruto stared at it, and Sasuke looked at Itachi like he was more insane than he had previously thought.
"Come on!" Itachi said. He lit the ends. They both stared at him. He got pissed that they weren't at least trying it. He grabbed their hands and shoved the not lit end into their mouths. They were forced to inhale. The smoke was going up to their noses, anyway, so either way they were inhaling it. And they knew if they didn't, high Itachi was pretty scary. They didn't know what would happen. So they inhaled. Blah. Deal with it.
Sakura ran into the village and straight to Tsunade.
"Sakura, what is it?!"
"Itachi...-gasp-... Naruto...AndSasuke,... -gasp-... are back there..."
"Catch your breath and then tell me whats going on, Sakura." so Sakura took a minute to catch her breath.
"OK... -sigh- I was walking with Naruto and Sasuke, when we found an abandoned car... only it wasn't abandoned... Uchiha Itachi was in it!!"
"..." Tsunade waited for Sakura to finish.
"..." Sakura waited for Tsunade to say something.
"...And??" Tsunade finally asked.
"Hmm?"
"Shouldn't there be more to the story??"
"No... i ran off to get you after that."
"YOU JUST LEFT THEM THERE??"
"Eh... yeah... They need someone to go get help, right?" Sakura squeaked. Tsunade sighed.
"Ok. a few of the Anbu will go with you to the car. You are to lead them there."
"Hai!" Sakura said and left with the Anbu peoples.
"We should be getting there soon... yup! see? thats the car!"
"eh... Are you sure its safe? It looks like its going to explode... look at all that smoke coming up from it, is it on fire???" asked one of the Anbu.
"It could be the aftermath of the fight." one of the others suggested.
As they approached the car they saw 3 figures inside it. One of the Anbu opened the door as Sakura cowered behind another one.
"Whoa, who're you?" They heard a voice say. They heard laughter coming from the car from the moment the door opened. The car was full of smoke, since none of them were smart enough in their current state to open a window. All the Anbu and Sakura started coughing. Itachi laughed.
"Want some?"
"Nah!! Don't waste it on them!" a voice slurred. Sakura opened one of her eyes to see Naruto in the passenger seat with the seat back as far as it could go. She looked around the car. Itachi was in the back seat, with his legs crossed, and Sasuke was in the front seat laughing his ass off. He suddenly stopped and took a drag of whatever was in his hand.
"WTF!! YOU GUYS ARE SMOKING???" Sakura screamed at them, totally pissed off.
"Get over it, Sakura-sama..." Naruto said. (A/N:I think I read somewhere that sama means granny. So he'd be saying "Granny Sakura", then. Correct me if I'm wrong, please. --')
"YOU IDIOT, IM YOUNGER THAN YOU! AND YOUR NOT EVEN 20 YET!!!" Sakura screamed at him.
"Sorry... I guess i got you and Tsunade-sama confused... heh heh..." Sakura was about to respond, but as soon as she inhaled, she looked down.
"They aren't that big, are they?" Sakura asked. Sasuke burst out laughing again. Naruto leaned up in his seat and put on a serious face, staring at Sakura's... eh... yeah... "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" she asked.
"You asked me a quessstion..." he slurred. "Hmm... nope. not even close." he said, smirking, and lied back down. Sakura glared at him and covered them up.
"Good! b-because hers are freakishly huge. -hmph!-" Sakura said. Naruto joined the laughter.
"I dont get it..." Itachi slurred, and took another drag. (heh heh heh, Itachi's high...)
"Uchiha Itachi. Why are you here?" one of the Anbu asked.
"Well... I found out that i like mara...jew...hana. or...uh... however you say it.. Want some?"
"What did I say? Don't waste it on them!"
"Alright alright..." Itachi slurred.
"That didn't answer my question." the ANBU stated.
"It's an abandoned car filled with... this stuff, why else would i be here?" he asked, trying to sneak some of the wraps past Naruto and to the people outside, but Naruto kept catching them and throwing them into the glove compartment.
"Stop it.." Itachi whined. "Why can't you share?"
"It's too good to share!!" Naruto whined back. (ok that sounded weird...)
"Hmm... yeah, your right." Itachi said, looking at his hand. "Whoa... my hand is all... you know... not real..."
"What are you talking about?" Sakura asked. Itachi lifted his hand to show her, and she flinched back, thinking he was gunna attack.
"Look! Its like... a japanese cartoon, or something... whoa... how weird..." Itachi said. He suddenly noticed that Sasuke had stopped laughing a while back when Sasuke burst out laughing again. "Dude! Chill!" Itachi said, shoving Sasuke's Marijuana thing in his mouth to make him shut up.
Sakura fainted. The 2 Anbu looked at her.
"Oh well" One of them said, shrugging. The other one laughed.
"Yeah, She's a bitch anyway. We should just leave her in the next town, or something."
"God, you guys are so mean so Sakura-chaan..." Naruto slurred. "I mean, your right, but it's still mean..."
"Sakura should go... jump... in a puddle..." Sasuke stated. Everyone stared at him.
"Jump in a puddle???"
"Un." Sasuke replied, nodding. Naruto snickered.
"Why?"
"Why not?"
"Shut up, foolish little... OMFG!!" Itachi screamed, jumping up and accidentally hitting his head on the ceiling. "Oooow!!!" he squeaked, and fell out the door behind him. Kisame woke up from the genjutsu he was stuck in.
"Uhg... Itachi? Wtf?" He asked, shoving Itachi off him. "OMG! Look! I found Sadasame!"
"You baka..." Itachi slurred.
"Whats up with you?" Kisame asked.
"Ugh... I'm to high to capture Naruto right now... can you do it?"
"Your... too... high???" Kisame said slowly. Then he burst out laughing. "Good thing I brought my camera!!" he said and started taking random pictures that everyone know wouldn't come out right because Kisame's finger was on the part that captured the picture.
"Baka, capture Naruto..."
"Nah. Lets just leave."
"Fine. Until next time, Naruto and foolish little brother!" Itachi said, and fell to the floor.
"O---k then. Bye peoples!" Kisame said, picking up Itachi and quickly leaving.
Blah.
Itachi was in the Akatsuki hideout one day. He met Tobi for the first time.
"Helllllo!!! Are you a member of the Akatsuki?" Tobi asked. Itachi glared at him.
"Yes. If your not, why are you here?"
"Oh! I am! Or at least I think I am... I have to ask Zetsu-san to make sure! But other than that, I'm sure I am!" Tobi said.
"Why?" Itachi was wondering why he was so sure about it.
"Because TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!!" Tobi yelled, spazing out. Itachi knocked him out, tied him up, and hid him in a closet. With duct tape on his mouth.
When Tobi woke up he immediately noticed that he was tied up. He tried to talk, but then noticed the duct tape and started spazing out. He looked around and noted that he was in a closet. He heard a noise next to him. He squinted into the darkness but couldn't see barley anything.
He struggled and got the duct tape off.
"Hello???" He asked.
"Hi!"
"Uh, who's there?"
"Uzamaki Naruto!" Naruto replied.
"Why are you locked up in a closet?"
"Why are you locked up in a closet? Naruto retorted.
"Hm... No clue! Maybe Zetsu-san will let me out later when he finds out!"
"Maybe Sasuke will rescue me!!"
"Wtf?"
"Or maybe I can find a way out with your help!!"
"How long have you been in here?"
"Hmm... about a month, I think. I don't know, I get nights and days confused when they leave the hall light on." Naruto said cheerfully.
"Ah... So do you have a plan?"
"You better BELIEVE IT!!"
"Um... ok what is it?" Tobi asked, scooting away from the crazy English dubbed freak.
"I think there's and air vent in here somewhere. I keep feeling air come down from above us every once in a while. So we can crawl out of there as soon as we get the ropes off."
"Did you even attempt to remove your rope this whole time?"
"Hmm... Nope!" Naruto then easily removed the rope and untied Tobi.
"It was that easy?"
"BELIEVE IT!!"
"Stop that." Tobi said. "Hey... Didn't you get tape, too?"
"Yeah! I still have it! It randomly exploded when I yelled my catch prase!" Naruto said, happily, as he picked at the exploded tape surrounding his mouth. Tobi was standing there like this: O.O
"Ok, So all we have to do is climb?"
"I guess" Naruto replied.
"Is there a light, maybe?" Tobi asked, reaching his arm up. He found a string and pulled it, turning the light on.
"Yay! I can see!" Naruto screamed. "BELIEVE IT! We will get out of here!"
"Shh!! Keep it down! I dont want to be blamed if they wake up! Uh, if it's even night at all."
A few members of the Akatsuki were sitting at the kitchen table. Kisame, Deidara, Zetsu and Leader. Suddenly they hear an annoying voice scream out:
"YAY! I CAN SEE! BELIEVE IT! WE WILL GET OUT OF HERE!"
o.O
"What was that?" Zetsu asked.
"Un! Wtf was that, hmm?" Deidara agreed.
"It sounded like it came from the hall way.." Leader stated.
"Ah, Itachi-san keeps throwing people in the closet." Kisame said, continuing to read a paper. Obviously the rest of them took that WAY wrong.
"Wh... what, hmm?" Deidara asked.
"Who?"
"Oh, just a few annoying guys." Kisame said. "You know, English Naruto has been in there for a while.. I hear he threw some guy in there earlier yesterday." It was silent until, eventually, they couldn't take it anymore.
"So... they turned gay and are lying to everyone about it now, hmm?" Deidara said, confused as to why Itachi would force people to become secretively gay. Kisame looked up.
"Wha--?" Kisame started.
"They all went gay for Itachi, and wont tell him?" Zetsu interrupted.
"How can you tell if their gay if they wont say anything?" Leader asked Kisame.
"Wait, wait, WAIT!" Kisame yelled. They all shut up and stared at him. "No, I meant he literally tied them up and threw them into the hallway closet because they're so annoying! Not "he forced them to go gay"! What's wrong with you people?" Kisame asked. "Think clearly, would you?" Kisame got up and left the room.
Itachi entered the room. Everyone stared at him. o.O
"What?"
"You threw random annoying people in the hallway closet, hmm?" Deidara asked, making sure Kisame thought it right too.
"Un... why?" Itachi asked.
"Literally threw them in there?" Leader asked.
"Yup. I tied them up, put duct tape on their mouths, and threw them in the closet! Well... after knocking them out, of course." He finished. They sighed in relief. "What?"
Back to Naruto and Tobi. While this weird conversation was going on in the kitchen, Tobi was trying to calm Naruto down since he was spazing so much.
"Believe it?" Naruto asked.
"No. Stop saying that and think up a plan."
"The air vent!" Naruto stated. They looked up and saw no air vent. "But... there was random wind!"
"Maybe someone is up there on that shelf thing?" Tobi asked. "We can't be the only ones in here, can we? Maybe other Akatsuki members got annoyed by more than just us?"
"Yeah! I bet it's Sasuke up there! "Oooh! I'm gunna reform my clan! Oooh! I HATES Itachi, he's my Aniki and he killed my whole family but him and me! I want to get revenge and reform my clan!!" Its annoying enough, right?" Naruto asked. He didn't hear a reply, so he looked over at Tobi. He was on the floor twitching. "That bad, huh? Maybe I'm just used to it..."
Soon Tobi was better and they tried to climb up, but failed.
"Hey! Who's up there?" Naruto finally asked.
"Guess..." Came a voice. Familiar.
"Ok!" Naruto said. He couldn't place the voice, even though he knew it from somewhere. "Sasuke?"
"No."
"Itachi?"
"Wtf? He's the one that threw us all in here!"
"Oh... Sakura?"
"No."
"Kakashi?"
"No."
"Oh!" Tobi spoke up. "Zetsu-san!"
"NO..."
"Third Hokage?"
"He's dead, so... no."
"Sakura?"
"You already guessed her!"
"Un, but she's supper annoying so maybe you changed your mind about being her or not."
"That didn't even make sense."
"Hmm... Orochimaru?"
"-sigh- Nope."
"Gaara?"
"No."
"Who then?"
"It's Sasuke, obviously."
"I guessed that."
"LIAR!"
"Why are you locked up in the closet?"
"Hmm... I don't... quite... remember..." Sasuke commented.
"Are you tied up, too?" Tobi asked.
"Yup!" Sasuke pronounced happily.
"Um... then untie yourself." Tobi suggested.
"Why?"
"So we can escape!" Naruto yelled.
"How?" Sasuke asked.
"..." Naruto was silent.
"..." Then Sasuke was silent...
"You know... did anyone even check the door?" Tobi asked. He turned the door nob and it opened right up. Naruto ran out, Sasuke fell off the shelf, got up, and tripped out the door, and Tobi slowly walked out.
While all this was happening, the people at the table were still thinking about what Itachi said.
"You know, hmm..." Deidara started as soon as Itachi left. Kismae entered the room without anyone noticing. "Maybe he was... you know, hmm, using a metaphor...?"
"Maybe..." Leader agreed.
"Are you guys still talking about the whole closet thing?"
"Un. Kisame, Did you ever SEE Itachi-san throw people in there?"
"Eh, no... But I heard muffled yelling from there once, and asked Itachi about it." Kisame replied.
"So he didn't know for sure! Lets go check!" Leader said. They got up. Kisame sighed and got up also.
So they went to the hall closet. Deidara opened the door. The light was on.
"There's no body here, hmm!" Deidara yelled.
"Oh my god... where did everyone go?" Kisame asked.
"It WAS a metaphor!" Leader pronounced.
"No, you baka! They just probably escaped!" Kisame replied.
"For all you know..." Zetsu's dark side muttered under his breath.
Later, Itachi found out that they had escaped. He went in the closet and got out a hidden video camera. He watched and listened all that happened with the rest of the group, to prove that he had actually thrown them in there.
"Wow." Deidara commented. "Out of all of them, I'd say TOBI is the SMARTEST! Hmm! What a surprise!"
The end :P That's it for this chapter, hope it was ok. I know: the others were better, right? -- oh well. Review, please! Byez!
I love writing for people who love reading what I write!
And... I love teh-randomness? Yeah!
