CHAPTER THIRTEEN

River Of Fire

***

Meg: I'm listening to You And Me, by Lifehouse, on repeat at the moment, also Prowl I found a girlfriend for you!

Prowl: Why!?

Meg: Because – don't worry, she's nice.

Prowl: …

Meg: *Grinning* Anyway, this is a strange chapter.

Prowl: They're all a bit strange if you ask me.

Meg: Which is why I didn't. Just listen to the song, Prowlie.

Prowl: Fine. *Listens*

Ironhide: What about me?

Meg: *Looks at him*

Ironhide: Oh… 0_0

***

I didn't know where I was, but I had been here before. Surrounded by whiteness, and just floating. Able to move, float around, swim in mid-air, and talk, but that was it.

Oh, and I could sing.

But, first, I had to figure out where I was.

I glanced down at my body, and was surprised to find myself wearing nothing. Had that been the case before? I couldn't remember – everything about that time was a blur in my memory. The time when I had gone up against a Decepticon, offering up a blood sacrifice to the All-Spark to save my family.

The Autobots.

Where were they?

I was thinking about them, as I often did. At least twelve times a day I would think about my family.

About Optimus Prime and White Fire (Bianca). I wondered if they were going to have a kid, like Bumblebee (and Starscream) and I did? What would they call it?

An image of a white, blue and pink little sparkling popped into my mind, and I smiled. "Prisma." I said.

Next, I thought about Wheeljack and Zikya. I wondered if they would have a kid too? Since Zikya was part robot, like me, it was entirely possible.

The image of a brown-haired boy with Zikya's eyes entered my mind next, and I drew in a happy breath. "Prometheus." It sounded like a bit of a mouthful for such a small boy – he was really small, like what I'd looked like as a baby. "Promo?" I giggled. I'd leave that one up to Zi and 'Jack.

Next, I thought about Sunstreaker and Backdraft (Andy). Did they seem like the parenting types? For some reason, I could see a picture of a little girl with red hair and deep, deep emerald eyes. She wasn't their's, though. What was she, some kind of adopted kid? "Oh…Kelsi…" I realised. "Kelsi…Learia?" Didn't Kelsi mean 'warrior' in Irish? Was she Irish? I knew not. Heck, I didn't even know this kid…but it seemed like my family extended out to her, too.

When I thought about Sunny, I thought about his brother, Sideswipe. For some reason, I could see him with a fem-bot. She was black, and had a bright purple stripe on her back. I really had no idea who she was, but for some reason a single name kept coming into my mind. "Arlexa?" I tried. She must be a Cybetronian. I hoped I'd get to meet her someday.

I could see another Cybetronian then, but I didn't know her name either until I realised it was: "Shadow…" She had black armour with a blue optic band, like Jazz's. Come to think of it, I could see him with Shadow. I grinned. Jazz's girlfriend?

When I thought about Jazz, I thought about Prowl, the other cyber ninja. For some reason, I could see Prowl there with Arcee. What the slag? When did this happen!? What the slag had happened while I'd been away? First Shooting Star and 'her' jet-twins, and now this?

I didn't think about Shooting Star next, because something else was forcing itself into my mind. Elita1 and…Sentinel Prime?

"Yikes." I said out loud. "Now there's a weird pairing…" Was the world going crazy?

Even more crazy, but entirely strange, was when Ratchet came into my mind, and he was with Sky Dragon. Well, medics gotta stick together, right?

"I guess so…" I murmured.

I thought about Skids and Mudflap then, those two twins. For some reason, I saw them with Angelina. Why? Angelina had never met them before. Now, when I think about it, they would get along well – she'd love them, think they were totally cool. Well, maybe someday.

I thought about Shooting Star and, no matter what, I always saw her with Jetfire and Jetstorm. "Oh well, at least she's happy…" I decided. I only ever wanted my family to be happy, so…I hoped she'd be happy with them. The three of them seemed to get along so well.

I thought about Honey Bee then. I frowned. I saw her with…Blitzwing? I shook my head. "No way, he's a Decepticon…" But, no matter what, I couldn't see her with anyone else. I groaned. "Oh, why is she with him?"

I sighed. I'd figure it out later.

For now, I thought about Bumblebee and Starscream, and what might happen if – when – the two of them met. I was dreading it, and I didn't know what to do about it. They wouldn't be able to share me, and I wouldn't be able to stop them from fighting. There would be a fight, that was inevitable.

Oh Primus, I was so scared. I loved them both with all my heart-spark, and if anything bad should become of either one of them…

I became worried then. Not about the fight, but because I couldn't see Ironhide in this future my mind was piecing together.

"Where are you?" I wondered, reaching out in the whiteness. "Ironhide…please…" Was Ironhide going to die? I hoped not. I really hoped not. If he should die…if anyone in my family should go offline…even if it was one of the cats…I wouldn't be able to stand it…

I took a deep breath, and began singing: "Night lights up the ghosts in my heart.
I watch them burn as I stare in the dark.
Wrestling emotions I'm drawn to the flame,
Caught by the shadows that call out your name.
Searching for some kind of escape,
I find my way right here to this place
Where the night has no end.

All of my life my dreams run wild
Now I stand alone in this river of fire.
Through days of despair, nights of desire
I wait for you in this river of fire.

I still remember that look in your eye.
I wish I knew then that it was goodbye.
I try to fight it but I know I can't win.
Sometimes your dreams just get lost in the wind.
But something beyond all time and space
Leads me right back here to this place,
To the edge of the world.

All of my life my dreams run wild
Now I stand alone in this river of fire.
Through days of despair, nights of desire
I wait for you in this river of fire.

Someday I'll get past this madness
Over the loss and the sadness,
But I never let go.

All of my life my dreams run wild
Now I stand alone in this river of fire.
Through days of despair, nights of desire
I wait for you in this river of fire.

All of my life my dreams run wild
Now I stand alone in this river of fire.
Through days of despair, nights of desire
I wait for you in this river of fire."

I heard a soft, smooth voice then. "An interesting choice of song, my dear…I hope it is not too painful for you…"

Something sharp sunk into my neck then, and it was all I could do to keep from screaming.

The sensation went away, and I sunk back into blissful whiteness. The sweet, calming whiteness – which was about to end.

Abruptly, without any warning, the whiteness around me burst forth into a realm of red hot. Everywhere I looked, I saw the leaping, fierce redness of anger, heat and pain.

Oh, the pain!

It was like rivers of fire were cascading their way through my body, burning and searing, scorching their way through my blood.

Oh Primus, the pain!

Bumblebee…I wish you were here…Starscream…Zikya…Bianca…somebody, anybody…please…

Of course, there was no one there, but I felt something – or someone – holding my hand, and so I knew I wasn't completely alone.

But, oh, the pain was unbearable!

Burns I'd received in battles against Decepticons, all meant nothing to me now, I would take them all a million times and be grateful for it.

This was much, much worse. The burning, searing sensation that never seemed to end.

It stretched its cruel way throughout my body, to my fingertips, to the tips of my toes, to my wingtips…

My wings?

I didn't have time to register that, because I was concentrating on not screaming every time the fire found something new to feed on.

I knew that once it got to my All-Spark, it would become the reddest, hottest anger of them all.

I focused on staying completely still, counting in my mind, up to a zillion.

I felt like I had been here for a zillion stellar cycles.

Then, when I felt like I had been here for two zillion stellar cycles, something began to change. Instead of the red hot, it began to feel different. Something blue was coming from my heart-spark, to counter it or to feed it, I didn't know. My heart-spark began beating very fast, and I lost count.

My heart-spark beat a million times over, and then, just when I thought this might never end, the beats became normal again, something very familiar and calming. The beats helped to calm me, and slow my breathing as the fire was extinguished, although I thought I may never feel the same again.

I drew in breath after breath, calming myself, allowing the fire to be extinguished completely, letting the water of blueness rush through my veins, cooling the river of fire into molten lava.

Another zillion stellar cycles passed in this strange world of mine, and then I began to have some sense of what was happening.

I became aware of voices, many voices.

And one voice, dominant over all the rest, and very close. He was still holding my hand.

"Very interesting…" He purred.

I opened my optics. "Define interesting…"

Wait…my optics?