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DECAY HEAT CHAPTER 8 : KEEPING

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Kyoto.

The city that never changes. But in 2 hours, it can change you. Maybe you might like it even better than Barcelona.

-

"No, Kyoto's better."

"I said Barcelona."

-

Two Amantos were arguing on the wooden bridge as Takasugi and I climbed up the stone steps leading from the canal. Bansai had dropped us off at a lesser-known area of Gion and drove off to find parking. Although it was five o'clock in the morning, I was astonished to see the main street full of cars and drunken Amanto celebrating loudly. Police were everywhere in their white patrol cars with flashing crimson lights. I gritted my teeth.

"But they have Ayumi!" The alien in front of us protested in a whiny voice. Orange streetlamps sieving through red autumn maples cast a shifting pattern of leaves across his unsteady form.

"And they have Ibiza~~ eh? Eh? But even Ayumi goes Ibiza, see? See? Look at you, you're tempted! C'mon, let's go!"

"But I have to work on Monday!"

"Don't be boring! Live life at the drop of a hat, c'est la vie!"

"C'est la vie?" The other scoffed.

"Hey hey, we're still young!"

"Hmph, we were young once."

"You're only young once, but you can be immature forever~"

"Har har HA HARRRRR HAR HAR Hehehe!!!!!!" They both laughed like madmen.

-

"What do you think, Zura?" Takasugi turned towards me and smirked. We had reached the middle of the arched bridge. Casting a wary glance at the police guarding the crossroads, I paused and gazed into the slick purplish wavelets blowing across the Shirakawa canal. A growing wind made the foliage rustle sharply.

"I think it's embarrassing to joke about Ibiza at their age. Obviously they are trying to recapture some memory of the past." I filled my lungs with the night air. It was soft and warm; smelled of forests and salt... and a whole lot fresher than Edo. I felt strange though, light and vulnerable, as if tripping on air. I traced my finger down the silvery ridges of worn wooden railing; Cedar; and easily over a hundred years old… "Even if they went back, I doubt they'll find what they were looking for."

"Always so politically correct, aren't you?"

Takasugi's tone made my hand tighten around the katana at my sash, but it wasn't there. Of course not, it hadn't been there the whole night. I folded my arms and looked sideways. Shinsuke carried no weapons either. Observing me, he smiled.

"No bloodstains on cold steel tonight, for my dear Zura…or at least I'll try."

I shrugged. "I just want to make my point; if they were serious about Ibiza, they wouldn't joke about it. They'd just do it. If I really wanted to visit Kiyomizodera Temple…" I indicted the famous landmark with a nod of my head, eyes following the streets that led uphill to the East – it was the East, I hope, it's too dark to tell for sure…ahem. "Then I'd just go, why debate about it? But then, why would I want to go back again?"

"Are you referring to the time Shouyou-sensei brought us to Kyoto when we were twelve…?"

-

Dry golden sunlight dappled the sandy courtyard, the flashing glare of the water fountain as dizzy as mirrors. It was so crowded that morning we arrived at the hilltop, everyone was sweaty and we weren't supposed to be running around, but we all did. Crashing against the handrails, almost flying off, I finally saw the city from high above. A majestic panorama was displayed at my feet. A fine imprint of grey-tiled rooftops, orderly gridwork of streets criss-crossed by diagonal canals and rivers, flowing towards the sea far to the west. I heard an odd, stirring symphony fill my ears. All this belongs to me; made by me; and changed by me. Am I really as big as all this? And as beautiful? Shouyou-sensei's teachings all made sense in a single moment.

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"It was the trip of a lifetime. We were kids. But so what if we went back? So what? My friends are already gone, my faction is sidelined, and Shouyou's work remains undone."

I felt the railing creak as Takasugi leaned back against it, the weight of his eye forcing me to look back. "Do I detect bitterness?" he smirked. "Then you're no better than me, because you want revenge. Don't pretend you're so honest and upright, you're just hiding. But I don't blame you, you've been treated like royalty since you were young. I understand, you have to keep up…appearances." His smile broadened. "Then why do you like working at Saigo's Okama place so much? Because it lets you pretend to be someone else for once? Making all the young men fall in love with you, but you never loved any of them back."

"I-I don't!"

Takasugi's eye narrowed and bore down on me, his lips drooped. I flushed, backing away instinctively. Police checkpoints at all exits, this thing with him unresolved. Escape was not an option, was it? "I like being at Saigo's bar. I like my clients, and I respect the okamas." I maintained, clenching my jaw. "And I like entertaining them…I really do…" I began to tremble, finally realizing the true path that I have unconsciously been walking upon. "I'm passing from bushido…to chonindo. I'm finally a chonin now." I whispered. Chonindo…The way of the townspeople. That's the path we're on, Gintoki, Sakamoto and I …

-

Nobody betrayed your love, Shinsuke; you're the one who rejected everyone walking on a different path from yours. Choose another path, Shinsuke, one that doesn't lead to destruction.

Choose it, and I'll gladly meet you halfway.

-

Don't be naïve. He'll never accept Chonindo. And he has already broken Bushido. He'll betray you again. What do you expect? I shook my head, silencing the negative voices in my head. "If there's something I really want, I won't tell anyone about it, but I'll still go for it with all my heart."

"You'll never tell anyone about it?" Takasugi's deep voice prompted.

Kyaah! I had spoken my thoughts aloud!

"Tell me…" his tone was sharp, followed by a low chuckle.

"Not you…"

"Why not?"

"The thing about keeping a secret… if you tell anyone your wish, it will never come true."

"You believe that?"

"That's the reason why I'll never tell you."

"Does your secret have anything…to do with me?"

"It has to do with all of us… Joi patriots."

"Joi patriots…?" Takasugi's face turned serious and he folded his arms, gazing into trees overhanging the bridge. Their branches swayed back and forth, red and brown leaves pelted crisply from the inky sky and scuttled across our feet, spinning towards the noise and lights in the distance. No doubt about it, there was an Amanto gathering in Gion, possibly an "entertainment night" held by the Bakufu to conclude yet another unfair trade agreement.

"I'm tired of being chased like a criminal. I want to do something productive, something lasting for our country."

"Whereas I….just want to burn it down~"

I glared at him, his eyes were dark and wide, following the water in the canal flowing into the darkness. In an oddly magnetic tone, he commented."The empty red flames of Shura...When you hate something so much that the darkness becomes part of your soul, the only way to let go is to burn it all away." His pose was arrogant, a smile curled at his lip. Even his robe looked different, the scarlet material and ceremonial gold threads; open mandarin collar and those jagged lapels strongly reminded me of the jinbaori campaign jacket of his youth…

"Come with me, let's burn it down together."

…when he used to be so handsome.

"If there's anything I want to burn into your mind, its common sense." I snapped, rejecting his sudden invitation. "It's clear the Joi have become Japanese fighting against the Japanese, and only the Amanto benefit."

"Then what should we do, sensei?" He asked mockingly.

"We need the backing of the Emperor."

"He's a puppet."

"He can issue an official pardon."

"You too? You want an Imperial pardon?"

"Our country desperately needs to be strengthened. The Joi have a lot of talented men, but first, we need to be legitamized. And our fallen comrades enshrined."

"Enshrined? I did that already. First thing I did at the Kiheitai camp. I thought their angsty screams would never end."

"Our comrades were happy to die for a just cause, all they seek is recognition."

"…"

"…"

Even for Shinsuke. From the look on his face, I can tell he still has a heart.

Unconsciously, my hand reached out…

"Don't give me that face!" Takasugi screamed, snapping me out of my trance. He approached, trapping me against the railing. I flinched, fingers curling into fists. What's the matter with him now?! He raised his chin and smirked down at me, unruly black hair curling over the left part of his face. His right eye was narrow and glinted venomously, while his hair rustled, flickering with fine brown light.

He roughly gripped my wrists and pressed his right cheek to mine.

"If I get you what you want, will you stay with me?" His deep voice whispered into my ear.

"…" I frowned, suddenly frightened. "You should do it for our comrades, not for selfish reasons."

"I can only be motivated by selfish reasons…is that wrong?"

"…"

He drew his face back, but his body was closer than ever.

"You keep secrets too, that's selfish. Why, I'll bet your own secret has nothing to do with the Joi, isn't it? What a load of crap."

"…"

"It's for somebody you love."

"…" My lips parted. Could he have realized something even I didn't?

"Heh, your face is so fucking easy to read. And you probably can't tell me because it's someone you'd like to fuck." I was startled by the rage in his voice and dark, vicious expression. But in a moment he had arrogantly forced out a smirk and placed his index finger on my lips.

"Don't tell me."

"…"

To my surprise his eye softened and he chuckled, almost to himself. Brilliant red maple leaves floated over us, fluttering like excellent moths.

"Because I want your dream to come true."

Takasugi let go of me and walked away, laughing again as if highly amused. Flicking out a paper fan from under his robe, he made a swift, slashing motion. A maple leaf dropped into the water and split cleanly into two.

-

"If the world is boring, then let us make it interesting!!" (1)

-

At first I was silenced by amazement, then chuckled, then burst straight out laughing. He's not that bad after all...

From the gloomy face of a malicious child, he quoted a poem fit for a teen.

Cute.

-

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To be continued...

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(1) Real words by Takasugi Shinsaku: おもしろき こともなき世に おもしろ/Let us make an uninteresting world interesting.

A/N: Sorry for the long wait between chp 7 & 8! Next chapter will be posted very soon. Thanks Orange-Maple for telling me about Takasugi's poem a long time ago, I knew I had to use it somehow! And big thanks to cclemon for the encouragement. Your Zura artwork made me write a lot faster! xDXD