Chapter 19
I sat with my mother at the dinner table. This is a once in a while thing. We eat chinese food and talk about stupid things. She was very interested in Dave. She always had been. But now it was bothering me and I was noticing it more. I poked my food around. It got cold as I answered questions. I had what Bennett had stuck in my head. It replayed and replayed. Every sentence and every word. I analyzed it like I would poetry. Taking out as much meaning as I could. There were three ways I interpretted it.
One: He was just an honest to good person. My friend. Looking out for me like Cass would and caring about me.
Two: He had something against Dave and was trying to get me to dump him.
Three: He was just playing with me. Screwing around for a challenge.
All of them to me by then were likely. I haven't known him for long so who knows what motives he has underneath all of this. I'm just Elisa. I'm practically invisible now. What does Bennett Williams want to do with someone like that when he was a fraction of an inch away from dating the prettiest girl in Kerrington? Why is he bothering with me?
"Why don't you invite Dave over tomorrow night to study?" My mother asked. I looked up at her. She was hopeful. Happy there was a chance I was moving away from my hair dyed best friend and my music that makes her wince. She had high hopes Dave would save me from who I have become.
"Oh, um." My voice has been cracking all night. Making up excuses and spitting out lies about our five-month. "His band has a practice. They want to keep their time slot at the club."
I'm usually horrible at lying. I usually freeze up and act obvious. I've improved a lot since befriending Cass. The only way my mother would let me hang out with her was if she knew Cass had a small base in her life. Something to keep her down and contained while the rest of her spilled out of the top of her head. By now I was a pro. Things happen for a reaosn. I'm glad I learned how to lie these past years.I'm just not happy I have to.
Things have gotten complicated now. I don't think I love Dave anymore. But he loves me so much. And my mother is pushing me to stay with Dave forever while Cass is telling me he's bad new. And then there's Bennett who could be doing one of three things.
"Oh," My mother said. Her fork hit her plate sending a loud spark of sound everywhere. I swear there was an echo. "I think he's such a good boy though, Elisa. Amber would have never been as lucky as you."
I poked the chicken finger sitting there soaking up a sauce and growing soggy around the fried layer of skin wrapped aorund a thin white piece of chicken. My mtoher started talking about how Amber made such bad choices with boys. I just half-listened. And nodded and said the appropriate "Yeah," or "No." There was really nothing else to do. But she had me all wrong. I was sick of being better than Amber because I wasn't.
I was sitting in my room doing nothing. It was so quiet. I needed to move. I used to feel this a lot before I started dating Dave. I'm fine and everything I just feel like going somewhere. Moving.
My mother's on the phone. Her words are ringing in my head. I was sick of me being the better daughter. I wasn't any better than Amber. So I just left and drove downtown. I had no place to really go. You never do when you get this feeling. So I went ot Carol's Coffeeshop. That girl with the lipring was working. And there was a cluster of tables with these obnoxious kids. I went up and got a coffee. She was flushed. Her name was Becky. She actually was really pretty. She had black hair and tanned skin. She had these pretty hazal eyes that were two colors at once. She looked at me letting out a light sigh. "God I hate this job when we're understaffed." She said. she put her hands on the counter- as if to regain balance and catch her breathe. "So what can I get you?"
"Small coffee." I said.
"Cream and sugar?" She asked.
I used to drink this all the time I lost my taste for both cream and sugar together. But I suddenly missed it. "Yeah, sure."
I watched her go get it taking her time because the table of kids were all settling down with their coffee and their pie and their donuts. Becky was relieved. I let her take her time. I figured it was okay. It was seven; she probably didn't expect a big crowd of kids to come in when it was just her. Nobody else.
I saw a little sign. A blue and white one. Help Wanted: Flexible hours, Minimum Wage, Free Coffee!
She came over. I gave her a five dollar bill. "One fifty-nine." She said. She got me change.
I took my coffee and my change. "Are you still hiring?"
Her eyes opened wide hopefully. "Yeah," She said cheerfully. "Of course, do you want an application?"
I shouldn't be doing this. My mom didn't want me to have a job for who knows why. She didn't see the point. She jsut gave me money. But a job meant I had something to do. It's why I always wanted one. I'll have my own money. And I'll have time away from Dave and my own mother. My last reason was mean but I guess there were no two ways around it. I wanted some space and osmething to do.
She handed me an application and a pen on a chain taped to a clipboard. "You don't need much expirience." she said. "This was my frist job."
"I've never had a job." I said.
"This is a great place to start, Carol always writes kick-butt recommendations even if she boots your sorry ass out of here." She said smiling.
I smield. And sat down in a small table far away from those kids who were talking and drinkign and getting all up on caffine. I filled out my application. It was easy. I had no expirience. I handed it to Becky who was eager to take it. "Be right back."
She dissapeared behind a floral curtain. To a back room I suppose. I stood there waiting. My coffee sitting at my empty table. I looked around seeing those kids. They were popular-esque crowd from Coolen. And they were watching something outside all talking and laughing. I didn't hear Becky come back. "Welcome to Hell, kid." She said smiling. She handed me a schedule sheet to fill out. "When are you free?"
I shrugged. "Any time." I said.
She went into the same cabinet she got the clipboard and application out of. "Okay," She said. "So we have a system. It's a crappy one but it does good for us. She had a sheet of different colored dots that were stickers. "We all have our own color." She slide a schedule across thr counter to me. "See I'm green" she pointed a black fingernail at a green dot. "I work this dot to this one." It slide across a row of green dots to another. "Get it?"
"Yeah," I said.
And for the next five minutes she helped me fill out the schedule. I was wokring a lot with her becuase she worked a lot. And my introduction was tomorrow afternoon because she usually needed help and it was slow until it got later. It was a Friday. So kids would ocme here to sober up she said. "So see you tomorrow?" She asked.
"Yeah." I was shocked. I had gotten a job over the period of thirty minutes. "See you tomorrow."
I felt powerful. I felt excited. I had my head held high. I could never forget that feeling.
A/N: I don't mean to be pushy. I don't have that many little notes here like I have had in the past. Buy I would appreciate a little more feedback. Reviews don't take that long. I really want to know what you like or hate. I have thick skin. Don't worry. Reviews inspire me. Review or else you will never know how this ends up. :O
