As promised, I said I'd update again but be sure to review if you want me to update tomorrow.
Thanks again for everyone who's been supporting me; it makes me want to keep going.
-Val
I walked to the gym eagerly this morning, surprised to actually see that Rose beat me there. She was always late; I guess Janine Hathaway did hit her really hard.
Then I caught sight of that carrot colored hair, probably a gathering before school, I thought while clenching my fist. Mason just wouldn't leave Rose alone would he, a silent thought occurred to me then, or maybe she doesn't want to be left alone, maybe she doesn't like you anymore.
Mason saw me coming and swept one of those moronic smiles with a bow, and as I drew closer Rose's leisurely attitude was replaced with a more apprehensive one.
I noticed her going out of her way to avert her face. Had she gotten hit there? It's not like she wouldn't look completely stunning either way, but I didn't press the matter. Her hair was down then too but I guess that was part of her plan not to show me where she was hurt.
Did that mean she still liked me?
Was attracted to me?
Dammit, I had to stop thinking like that. Besides, it was serious time; I couldn't allow my feelings to interfere with our practices.
We both went to the practice room with the dummies and I told Rose to simply practice the maneuvers she had learned two days ago. I could tell she was fighting with an almost blind fury, but I tried to ignore it and tried not to push her just yet. Some physical drain wouldn't hurt before I approached the matter.
I only made a few critiques on the techniques Rose was using.
Finally, I realized the hair has to go. How can she even see with it all over her face?
"Your hairs in the way, not only are you blocking your peripheral vision, you're running the risk of letting your enemy grab a hand-hold," I commented.
"If I'm actually in a fight, I'll wear it up," Rose answered crudely as she staked the dummy and obviously not giving in. "I'm just wearing it down today, that's all."
I didn't really like the fact that she was ignoring my orders, "Rose," I warned.
She ignored me and plunged again.
Dammit, "Rose, stop!" I said sharply.
She backed away from the dummy then and I could hear her labored breathing. Her back hit the wall then, and realizing she had absolutely no where to go, she dropped her face to the ground.
"Look at me," I ordered as I came up to her.
"Dimitri-" she began.
"Look at me," I said, the order coming out clearly. She listened, knowing better than to just ignore me.
Her hair fell down coming down on some of her face, but it wasn't enough to hide this. It was a horrible hit, way worse than I had thought.
For a small moment, I contemplated killing Janine Hathaway. How the hell do you screw up this bad, way above the neck? I mean, you're supposed to be a legend. And look at what you did to my fucking student? What the hell?
Then, I came to my senses. Dimitri, you're an adult, act like it.
I went to brush the hair out of Rose's face, but stopped myself. I shouldn't be touching her like that. I wanted to desperately. I wanted to grab her, comfort her, hold her in my arms and tell her everything was going to be okay and that I would protect her. But I pushed those feelings aside, it wasn't right to feel that way.
"Does it hurt?" I asked.
"No," she lied.
"It doesn't look so bad," I tried to comfort her; "It'll heal." I tried to make myself believe those same words, because right now, all I wanted was go attack Janine Hathaway.
"I hate her," Rose said, and I was astonished to hear so much venom in those words. That was her mother; she shouldn't feel like that about her.
"No you don't," I said gently.
"I do," Rose reasserted.
Here goes nothing, trying to mend Rose and her mother's relationship.
"You don't have time to hate anyone, not in our profession, you should make peace with her," I counseled.
"Make peace with her? After she gave me a black eye on purpose! Why am I the only one who sees how crazy that is?" Rose fumed outraged.
"She absolutely did not do it on purpose," I said, voice hard. "No matter how much you resent her, you
have to believe that. She wouldn't do that, and anyway, I saw her later that day. She was worried about you."
"Probably more worried someone will bring her up on child abuse charges," Rose grumbled.
"Don't you think this is the time of year for forgiveness?"I asked.
Rose sighed loudly. "This isn't a Christmas special! This is my life. In the real world, miracles and goodness just don't happen."
I was trying to help her but damn she wasn't making it easy. And honestly, I think she was getting mad at me for trying.
I eyed her calmly and said, "In the real world, you can make your own miracles."
"Okay, can you just stop this for once?" Rose demanded, hands on my hips.
"Stop what?" I questioned.
"The whole profound Zen crap thing. You don't talk to me like a real person. Everything you say is just
some wise, life-lesson nonsense. You really do sound like a Christmas special." She was practically shouting at me," I swear, sometimes it's just like you want to hear yourself talk! And I know you're not always this way. You were perfectly normal when you talked to Tasha. But with me? You're just going through the motions. You don't care about me. You're just stuck in your stupid mentor role."
"I don't care about you?" I asked shocked. Everything I do is for you Rose, I added silently. Now I was fuming. What she said hurt, especially when I was only trying to help her and she was mocking my methods.
"No." Rose continued, "I'm another student to you. You just go on and on with your stupid life lessons so that-" she said, jabbing my chest with her little finger.
I lost my control.
I grabbed that finger then, extremely frustrated. All I cared about was Rose; she was everything in my life. I hadn't said yes to a great opportunity because of her, and now she was attacking me because of her own problems because I was trying to help.
"Don't tell me what I'm feeling," I growled.
"That's it, isn't it?" Rose asked.
"What?" I asked sharply, still worked up.
"You're always fighting for control. You're the same as me."
"No," I argued, "I've learned my control."
No," Rose affirmed, "You haven't. You put on a good face, and most of the time you do stay in control. But sometimes you can't. And sometimes ..." she leaned forward, whispering seductively in my ear, "Sometimes you don't want to."
"Rose..." I begged. My breathing became labored and my heart sped up. My anger had released itself in another form. Now all I wanted to do was touch her.
Before I realized what was happening, Rose kissed me.
I should've pulled away, but I couldn't. I kissed her back. I had longed for this for such a long time, and now I could feel her. I pinned her body between the wall and me, pulling her close. And lord, all I wanted to do was make love to her right here in this perfect moment.
The kiss was filled with intensity, anger, passion and release.
I kept holding her hand, but my other snaked up and slid in her hair.
Finally though, and with great difficulty, I pulled away.
I stepped back, practically shaking. Where was my control? She knew too –she knew I fought for mine. And that we were the same. And honestly, that scared the shit out of me. She could see right through me.
"Do not do that again," I said stiffly after an eternity.
"Don't kiss me back then," she retorted.
What a bitch.
I stared at her, trying to compose myself for a few moments before I cursed her out, finally I said,"I don't give 'Zen lessons' to hear myself talk. I don't give them because you're another student. I'm doing this to teach you control."
"You're doing a great job," Rose said bitterly.
Calm down Dimitri, don't do anything stupid. I closed my eyes, and it took everything in me to not scream at her just then. I breathed, exhaled and cursed in Russian.
The best thing I could do right now was leave, and without another word, I left.
