Chapter 25
The Wednesday before Thanksgiving is a complete jock to most people. In middle school there's this big race. But at the high school it's the Variety Show. And I managed to avoid Dave until then. I was walking to English. And his hand found mine.
"Elisa, come on, why are you avoiding me?"
I just looked at him. I really had no idea what to say. I yanked my hand away from him. "I really can't do this." I said.
"Can we at least talk soon?" He asked. "I just want to explain..."
"Yeah, sure." I said. And I started walking down the hallway.
"Elisa, I'm sorry for whatever I did."
Bennett had been sitting unbothered. I was going ot go up ot him but they called the acts in the Variety Show to go. I was standing there watching him pass as a jock gave him the slow clap. And Bennett just passed me smiling a little bit. The kind of smile that makes you weak and I just smield back a little. And he was gone.
Yesterday I had found this Cursive song in my locker. It was the same as the Dashboard Confessional CD. One song. And it spoke for him. I wasn't sure what he was doing. Maybe he was just waiting for me to make the first move. And I was trying. But he was avoinding me it seemed. And it was so hard to jsut talk to him.
Cass smiled at me when I walked over to my desk dropping my books onto the top of it. "He's still not talking to you?"
I shook my head. "I talked to Dave though."
And she just nodded. She stayed out of it. I don't think she understood this any mroe than I did. I think I understood it more than she ever could. And I jsut barely got a grasp of whatever Bennett was trying to do.
The auditorium was loud and full. Cass and Miles were talking. About this Death Cab for Cutie show they wanted to go to. I was going too if I could get myself a ticket. Which I could now that I had a job. But I lost all interest eventually. But everyone fell silent when the principal went onto the stage with a microphone.
He went on about this and that. How talented these individuals are and how hard it was to choose even tohugh they only cut three acts. It must have been harder deciding who was worse- and I know that sounds mean but there is no real talent in botching up a broadway showtune. And then it began.
Across the auditorium each act there were undeniable snots and people holding back laughter. It was that bad. Kerrington isn't quite talented until the last two acts whom everyone knew about by now. Three Cheers and The "Emo Faggot."
When Bennett walked onstage. He looked like he always had to me. Like he was a legend on some invisible pedestal. "Fag" was hissed at the stage from about four different directions. But he just slide his guitar over his shoulders and leaned into microphone playing a few simple chords. "I was going to do a cover... but I'm going to play a song I just wrote. It's about a girl." He said. Then he started playing. Some smooth pretty chords. And he searched the crowd with his eyes. He found me. His deep brown eyes swallowed me into them. And I felt like I fell a hundred feet. Leanging into the microphone, he started singing.
It was less than a week ago where we were under a streetlight. Nobody knowing we were there in the entire universe than us. And he stole me right there, thrity feet away from me. With his voice, and his eyes. Bennett Williams said all he needed to in a song. That tore me to pieces and put me back together.
He was the legend. The Bennett Williams. Singing the most beautiful song to me.
When he finished the auditorium clapped and a few kids- his friends cheered for him. But he jsut broke eye contact with me and walked offstage. Leaving the microphone for Mrs. Masons. Who begand her ten minute long speech.
I was halfway down the isle. "Where are you going?" A teacher spit at me when I was at the doors out.
"I have to go to the bathroom." I said. And he was hissing at me some more but I was already into the halls going to where the "dressing room" was. I walked in. Bennett wasn't there. But I wasn't looking for him. Dave slid off of the desk he had been sitting on.
"Elisa," He said. And he hurried to me. Kissing me. But I pushed him back. And I looked him in the eyes. For the first time, I felt stronger than Dave. The boy I "loved" and the boy I had given everything to. He had cheated on me. He had broken my heart. And I told him that. And I broke up with him. Not for me-and-Bennett. For me. And what I wanted. I felt like I was powerful again. But I was so scared of that feeling all of a sudden. I didn't like feeling it. I just wanted Dave to stay out of my life. For good.
He looekd so hurt. Staring blankly listening. He didn't say anything. When I finished they called him and the other three to get onstage. The room was quieter. Listening to me- Elisa-nobody-emo-silent-Simmons -dump Dave Jenks. Popular perfect goodlooking Dave form the band Three Cheers. The room emptied all of a sudden. People looking at me and whispering. I hated it. But I was never so relieved.
The door to the dressing room wouldn't stay open. Leaving me alone in an empty room. I relaxed. I felt it all lift off of me. And all I could hear was Bennett's voice singing to me. Me.
I saw someone. Looking up. He was standing up. He had been agaisnt the wall sitting. The place I hadn't tohught to see him. He had been blocked by a box full of props. We just looked at each other for a few seconds. I felt like my stomach wason a roller-coaster as I was frozen standing there looking at him.
We both smiled a little. He started walking towards me. Not syaing anything.
"Was that about me?" I asked.
He smiled standing a foot away form me now. "Did you like it?"
"I loved it." I said. We didn't say anything for a few more minutes. I heard the guitars clashing in the auditorium. "Were you avoiding me?" I asked looking down a little.
"I was waiting." He said. "I wanted to see if you meant what you said."
"I did."
"I know." He said quietly. And then we were jsut lookign at each other. He leaned down and kissed me. It was really soft and jsut like our first. My hands went into his hair. Nobody in the universe but us knew about this. Some people knew it was coming, but we were the only ones who really knew.
The bell rang. The day was over. But I was outside the school before anyone even stepped foot. He was waiting. His car pulled up front. I wasn't sure where we were going. But we jsut left. Nobody in the world knowing but us. And it was a good feeling knowing that. I felt invincible.
