Chapter 27
It was later and for one of the first times I had nothing to do on a Friday night. I was bored and remembering that only one short week ago I had realized that Bennett felt the same way about me. But it was still early. My cell phone rang tohugh, as I thought this. I looked at the Caller ID.
Answering it. His voice filled my ears emptying butterflies into my stomach. I was smiling. "Hi," He said. "What's up?"
"Nothing, you?" I sat back from my seat at my computer. I was trying ot find the third song on the third CD from him on the internet. I couldn't find it easily. He responded smoothly. "Nothing."
But nobody ever means that. "There's this party tonight I'm playing." He said. "I mean, it's no big deal if you can't go, but I don't know a lot of kids going and it's a Coolen on so I don't usually hang out afterwards... but if you're not doing anything maybe you could go and we could hang out after. I feel like we haven't had a chance to hang out yet."
I was smiling a little. "Yeah, sure." We've never really hung out. I was going to the Death Cab for Cutie concert tomorrow with Cass and Miles. I wanted to just be with him. Bennett. "Where is it?"
He was smiling you could hear it through the phone. "It's on this really random street. Do you know where Coolen is? On the intersection?"
"Yeah," I said. Coolen was this huge big grey building. It was the opposite of Kerrington's pink brick. But both were probably as welcoming as any school would be. Which means both weren't very welcoming at all.
"Well if you pass Coolen and keep going straight you'll start coming to these woods and its like Bloomberg Street or something... Bloomberg Way- Bloomberg-something -and it's in this really long drive way. Do you know what I'm talking about?"
"Yes," I said. "Bloomberg Path."
"Yeah," He said. "That's it."
"When are you playing?" I asked.
"The same as last time. But you don't have to hear me play. I mean we could even just meet up afterwards if you wanted."
"No, I want to hear you play, I love your music." I said. I felt embarrassed saying this. Like I was being clingy and strange. I didn't want to scare him off. "It's fine."
"Are you sure?" Most boys sound fake saying this. Bennett sounded sincere.
"Positive." I said smiling a little. Gaining confidence.
"Alright, call me if you need help getting there though." He said, I could hear him smiling again. "I could give you-"
"Actually," I interrupted. I thought of Cass suddenly. "My friend has notihng to do tonight she was looking for something." This was the complete truth. "She knows where this place is, she could give me a ride."
"Alright," He was smilign still. "Sounds good."
"I'll see you then," I said. I sounded so much more confident than I do in real life. Like Bennett and I switched roles or something.
"Bye," He said. "But call me if you get lost."
I laughed a little. "I will," I said. "Bye."
Miles got there right on time. We were in fact early, about fifteen minutes before Bennett would play but there was no chance finding him. The party was pretty big. The emo-crowds from the two schools were mixed together. Miles knew about this because his friends were all in the garage doing who knows what.
I climbed out of the back seat of Mile's Honda Pilot. It's black. Cass always sits in the front and plays all the CDs she forces Miles to buy. He doesn't complain though. He would never take Cass for granted ever. Same as me.
It was crowded and loud. The music overpowering from downstairs. Bennett wasn't playing yet, so they were just playing records. Mostly metal ones at that. But it reminded me of the party last week. Except tongiht I felt like I was supposed to be here. My feet didn't want ot run away in the other direction. I walked around the upstairs, a place I never usually went to at these parties.
I have nothign agaisnt these kids. In fact I fit in finer with them than any other place- it's just how intimidating they are. Most of the boys are scary. Skinny-skinny versions of Paul Spinella everywhere. The girls remind me of Cass and Becky, except with much more eye make-up and a little less smiling. But they all know each other. Coming together almost every Friday or every good show as one while the jocks hate each other to no end. It's because Coolen beat us in the play-offs last year in football and soccer. Kerrington's baseball team could beat Coolen's anyday though.
"Elisa?" I look behind me. Not recognizing the voice right away. Over the music it was different. But it was Sean squeezing through two people to reach me. In his hand he has a red cup much like ninety percent of the room. "Hey."
"Hi," I say. I'm not intimidated by sean by how he looks at all. In fact he looks like he should be in middle school right now, at the dance in the hall downtown instead of here. I run my finger through my hair. The reason I'm nervous around Sean is because he's Bennett's best friend.
"He's downstairs getting ready," He said casually. "Getting paid and stuff..."
"Oh," I said. "Alright." I hadn't been looking for Bennett. In fact I guessed he would already be downstairs but I figure I shouldn't be rude and say I wasn't looking for Bennett. I figure Sean would repeat that ot Bennett and it would come around ot get me. "Thanks." I smile a little.
"He really likes you." Sean said sipping his beer. "He was a wreck on the phone when I made him call you. His past expiriences with stuff liek this aren't good, you know?"
I nodded. I don't think this was a conversation kind of subject.
"With Rainie and everything- he's just been through a lot I guess. I don't know- you know how he is. He doesn't like going on and on about his problems. It's not good but- he lets them just eat him up inside. He's been a lot happier lately." Sean said all this slowly. Casually. Not even sounding weird with his voice jsut rising over the loud music where I was the only one who heard it. "Just don't tell him I said all of this to you. He'll wigg out or something at me."
I smield a little. "I won't," I said.
"Kay, see you downstairs." Sean said. He waved and started wlaking away. I did too. My head was absorbing all of what Sean had said.
By the time it all had registered I was standing in a group of kids downstairs. Too short to see Bennett over the crowd but hearing his voice reach me through all these people. That was enough for me. He didn't play the song he had written me. But he played all three of the songs he had left in my locker. Not one after the other but through his set of songs. And my heart didn't stop pounding all night long.
He started his car. I was getting used to it by now. Everything was becoming natural to me. But ot everyone else we were jsut two friends. Him driving me home. When really we jsut ended up behind a red door. But this time we weren't lost in the dark.
His room was this forest green. He had a bookcase full of books, and another that matched full of CDs. Only one shelf was real copies the others were all homemade. And he had two catefuls of vinyls. Which he liked better I think. Because when we were inside he went right over and put a record on. We sat on the floor, a tan carpet. Our backs against his bed.
He slipped his fingers into mine. His fingers were much longer than mine but my palm felt warm against his. "So how was I tonight?" He asked looking at me.
"Perfect," I said. There was no better word. His voice was amazing and he was so good.
He smiled. "Tell me the truth." He said.
"I did."
He kissed me. His lips soft against mine. "I don't believe you."
He squeezed my hand. "I liked those three covers." I said smiling a little. He smield back, kissing me again softly. "Which ones were they?"
"Dashboard Confessional," He said. "Cursive." He kissed me after saying each of these. Except the next kiss lasted longer than the first. I kissed him back. My lips parting slightly. But then I pulled back. He squeezed my hand. "Do you know the last one?" He asked.
I shook my head.
He smiled. "I'm not going to tell you." He said. "I'm surprised Elisa. And very disspointed in you." He kissed me though. His lips so soft and sweet. "I forgive you though."
I smile. "Come on, tell me please."
"No," He said smiling back at me. Everything is so strange when I see him smiling at me like this. He squeezes my hand again, a burst of warmth fills me with each. It's like he's injecting me with happiness. I can'tstop smiling. And I don't think he can either.
"Please?"
"Someday." He says. "After you hear Sunday Drive's record on vinyl." I open my mouth to offer something. "That's cheating- and impossible right now. I leant it to Sean."
I look down smiling. He kisses my temple.
Then we sit quietly for a few seconds listening to Transalanticism. My original favorite Death Cab for Cutie record, but I have to sya I've been listening to The Photo Album a lot more after meeting Bennett. "Are you going to see them this weekend?" I ask him.
"Yes," He said. "Are you?"
"Yeah," I said. "I'm going with Cass and her other friend."
"Really?" He said. "Maybe we'll see each other."
I smile. "Maybe,"
"I don't know if I could watch their set with you. If they play anything that makes me think of you, I think we might blow our cover." He said softly.
"Why?" I asked.
The song switched. "If they played this," He said softly. I was looking the the record player listening to his voice. Soft and gentle- filling me somewhere inside of my chest. I waited for him to continue. I looked at him ready to ask him what would happen next but his face was right there inches from mine. He just looked at me softly. It was soft and beautiful.
He leaned in and kissed me. My hand sliding away from his. Moving into his hair. And one of his hand went along my jaw. We kissed quietly. The record playing in the background. When the song finsihed he moved away. Blinking.
"If that happened," He said slowly. "I don't think people wold believe us when we said we were jsut friends."
I nodded. "I agree," I said softly.
His hand was still on my jaw. He smiled a little. Looking at me still steadily. His eyes: unreadable. "I liek you a lot, Elisa." He said.
"I like you a lot, too." I said back.
"I don't think you understand how much." He said shaking his head a little. "It's too soon, I know. I'm so sorry, but I just like you so much. I just don't understand how I could have never found you before."
I didn't answer. His eyes held contact with mine. I couldn't look away.
