Hey guys, first off –Thanks so much for the reviews last night you guys really made me want to get on it.
I know I don't always reply to your comments but I read them all and really appreciate your support. I write for you guys so keep it coming.
Also, for those that have asked me or are just wondering, I will be doing Shadow-kissed from Dimitri's Point of View as well as Blood Promise, although Blood Promise will have to be a little different. But be sure to review and thanks again.
Chapter 16
I'd never thought I'd have to rely on Adrian for anything other than becoming a great punching bag but since I sort of was in desperate need to find Rose, I would have to wait for that.
"Are you sure Lissa?" I asked still not really believing Adrian had any other skill than invading my territory. We both were walking towards the Ivashkov wing.
"Yes, I'm positive, he can dreamwalk," she explained.
"Which is?" I asked. Was I seriously supposed to know what the hell that was?
"It's when, well, he can slip into someone's dream. He can find out where they are and then we can find them. He's done it before," she explained.
"Dreamwalked before?" I questioned. I naturally assumed that or else why the hell were we going to him for him.
"Yes of course, but I meant he's been in her dreams before," she clarified.
Son of a bitch.
I suppressed the urge to seriously hurt the mental patient.
It's just this whole time; he was going to her fucking dreams.
Even if I did lock her up, he could still talk to her.
All of this rubbed me the wrong way, as insane and ridiculous and masochistic as it was, I still felt that Roza was mine and some little punk invading my territory –well, that just didn't sit right with me.
And it really bothered me that he was going to be the one to save her, not me.
But as long as she was okay, I could deal with that.
All those matters would just have to wait until later.
Janine had sort of dismissed the idea, she didn't really believe in Adrian anymore than I did, but I was a little more desperate than her I think.
Because the truth was, I didn't think Rose left just to go party with some humans she knew.
I believed she might have left because of me, which made finding her all the more difficult.
But why the hell did she take all her friends and not Lissa?
All of this was starting to give me a major headache.
We reached his door and Lissa knocked on the door, ugh last time I was here it was because Rose was in his room. Trying to keep my jealousy feelings in check was going to be hard with all this de ja vu.
Adrian came to the door and answered, "Cousin. Any good news?"
"No," Lissa answered sadly, "They have no idea where they could have gone."
"Huh. Dhampir," he noted.
"Moroi," I answered back. Yes I know your specie too dumbass.
Lissa looked at us oddly, but I have a feeling she didn't notice anything. I think she was oblivious to Rose's relationship with me, real relationship with me.
"Well, come in," Adrian answered and we entered his stupid apartment.
"Have you been able to talk to her?" Lissa asked.
"No," Adrian answered and looked at me oddly.
"He knows. I told him. Dimitri's the only one that can find Rose and bring her back, just like last time," she explained.
"Well sort of," commented Adrian smilingly, I swear I wanted to punch him then as he added mockingly, "But I'm really the one doing the finding."
Lissa just smiled and answered, "Yeah," still oblivious to everything.
"I can't get to her unless she falls asleep and she hasn't done that yet, which sort of worries me," he explained. "They've been up for a while now, unless they're on the move. I'm sure she'll fall asleep eventually though, and then I'll ask her where she is and then Belikov can do what he does best," he smiled tauntingly, "Take Rose away from the fun, as well as the rest of the group."
I understood that double meaning but right now I had to tolerate this asshole.
"Why don't you try again?" I asked.
"I just did a little while ago, but I will again soon."
"Okay," I answered. "Please report back immediately if you find something out, if you really care about Rose."
"Of course," he answered, "I want nothing more than Rose brought back to me, thank you Guardian Belikov."
I wanted to say that there was no way in hell that after this was over Rose was going to see him again, but I let him keep dreaming for now, since he was my only resort right now. After this, I'd never take my eyes off Rose for one second, not after feeling what it'd be like without her.
A terrifying thought crossed my mind, what if I never found her.
No I wouldn't let that happen.
"Okay," I nodded, and left the room. I don't think I could tolerate any more time in that room without breaking Ivashkov's pretty little face.
As I walked out of the room I knocked into Tasha.
Fuck. I so did not need this right now.
Her eyes were red though and she asked, "Any news on them?"
Them. Oh yeah. I'd completely forgotten that it wasn't just Rose that had left and that among the group was Christian.
"I'm sorry Tasha, we'll find them," I told her.
She nodded, "I just don't understand why Christian would do such a thing, when Lissa and I are here. Why would he leave with Rose? What if they run into Strigoi, what if the novices can't protect them? I mean, look at how irresponsible they were taking out Moroi out of safety, do you really think they'll protect them."
I knew Tasha meant well, and that she was just worried about Christian but all she said just really struck a nerve. It just made me feel like she believed the dhampirs were…expendible. And less valuable than the Moroi.
"No one forced Christian into anything," I retorted. Somewhere in my head I knew that I was being stupid and unfair, but with the entire current situation, everything was weighing me down. And the fact that she thought it was Rose's fault; it just all bothered me completely on a whole new level.
"I know, but Rose, if anything, should have known better," she explained. "I mean, I doubt she's ready to risk her life for someone else," Tasha continued.
"Well maybe she shouldn't," I answered much harsher than I meant the words to come out.
"Excuse me," Tasha said looking up at me.
"What?" I exploded. "It's bullshit, no one gives a fuck what happens to the novices, and more importantly what happens to Rose. It's all about the Moroi isn't it, you're such a hypocrite, you say that we shouldn't treat Dhampirs that way, but really you're just like the rest of the Moroi. You think we're expendable," I told her.
Tasha then looked at me, I mean really looked at me. Understanding flashed in her eyes all of a sudden.
"It's her, isn't it?" was all she said.
"What are you talking about?" I asked confused and still obviously worked up.
"Rose –she's the one you're in love with," she elaborated.
I was taken aback; I didn't really know how to answer that, so instead I just said nothing.
"Of course," she responded. "It's written all over your face, it's written all over her face. How could I have been so blind?"
"I…" I didn't really know what to say. "I'm sorry, Tasha." I finally said.
She nodded, "That's why you can't be with her right, because of the circumstances."
I nodded. "So now you probably think the worst of me, right?"
"What? Why? No, it wasn't like you ever really lied to me, you told me you were in love with someone else," she explained.
"Well yeah but, you think that it's wrong, that I'm trying to take advantage of her," I continued.
"What? Of course not," Tasha said surprising me.
"But I'm seven years older than her, I'm her teacher for Christ's sake," I insisted.
"And I'm seven years older than you, doesn't make me a pedophile does it?" she questioned.
"Well, no," I continued, "But that's because you're a woman."
"That's so masochistic," Tasha called out.
"I didn't mean it like that," I explained, "It's just –well, no one is going to take advantage of me, but when it's the opposite way around, it's… you know… like the guy is trying to take advantage of the girl," I explained.
"Look, come into my room," Tasha insisted, "We shouldn't talk about this here. And I need to really assert something."
I nodded and followed her to her room.
"Sit," she ordered. I followed since I knew better than to test a determined woman.
"Look. I get it. I get it all. You're in love with Rose. And she's in love with you. It's so crystal clear I can't believe it took me this long to figure out. Now yes, you are a few years older than her, but she is almost eighteen, and graduating. If you love her and its mutual, than be with her. And stop being an idiot and doing what society wants you do, I thought you were tougher than that," Tasha said.
"It's not that simple," I tried to explain.
"Yes it is, why can't two people who love each other be together?" Tasha argued.
"Because we're Guardians. Because the Moroi come first. It isn't because of what society would think –I could handle that. What I couldn't handle is putting Lissa in danger because Rose and I were too busy with each other. And honestly, if I had to choose to save one, I'd choose Rose in a heartbeat. It's just not fair to Lissa to have incompetent Guardians when she is in such a dangerous position, being the last Dragomir," I explained.
"Well…" Tasha continued clearly thinking over what I had just said. "You take your duty way too seriously."
I laughed at that and so did she.
"There has to be a way though," Tasha insisted.
"I don't know, basically, the only way is if one of us resigned Lissa, probably me, but then, we wouldn't really be together."
"And you can't resign being a Guardian all together," Tasha said. It wasn't really a question. She knew the answer to that.
When I didn't say anything, she continued, "I see your dilemma. But honestly, think about my advice Dimitri, is protecting the Moroi really more important than your own happiness. At some point, you have to choose yourself."
"I know," I asserted.
"So do you have any idea why they left?" asked Tasha.
"No, not really. Last time I talked to her she left saying she was going to break someone's heart. I assumed it was one of the idiots that are always around her, Adrian or Mason, but I don't know. She told me to take your offer, and I'm scared that she meant me," I explained. "How am I supposed to get her back now?"
"Well, if that was true. Why would she take Christian with her? Something's wrong. Are you sure there isn't anything that maybe she said. I mean, why would the two of them leave together, they aren't the best of friends. It sort of seems like the first group left and maybe Christian and Rose went to stop them. I think you're getting yourself paranoid."
I nodded, "Maybe."
"How long has it been since you slept?" she finally asked. "Or ate, for that matter."
"A while. It doesn't matter. I just have to find her, and the rest of them. I'm going to go Tasha, go over the details with Janine," I told Tasha as I walked out the door.
"Dimka!" Tasha called and I turned around to face her.
"When all this is over don't forget what I said. Everyone deserves to be happy," she explained.
I nodded and went to Janine's room. There were other Guardians there and Janine pulled me to the side.
"Did you achieve anything?" she asked. I could tell she didn't really buy into the spirit thing, much less Adrian Ivashkov being useful at anything but she was desperate for her daughter too.
"No, he says Rose hasn't fallen asleep but he'll keep trying. Hopefully by tomorrow, we'll have some idea."
She nodded. "You should get some rest, you look worse than me. You'd swear it really was your sister who went missing."
"Right," I laughed. She didn't really get it. Sister? Sister was the last thing I could ever label Rose.
I went back to room and heard my stomach grumble. I was starving, since I hadn't ate anything in a while and I'd been awake for a pretty long time, but there really wasn't any way that I could sleep or eat knowing that Rose wasn't save tonight.
Plus, I had a bad feeling in my gut. Something was pressing me telling me that Roza wasn't safe.
I spent the next few hours staring at the ceiling feeling like an idiot and completely useless.
Somewhere after several hours I heard pounding on the door.
I immediately jumped up, hoping it was the news that Rose had come back.
But I was never really that lucky.
Instead, it was Adrian.
Great. Just great.
"What do you want?" I asked. This time he was alone and I didn't need to keep up any notions.
"Shut up Belikov, you know what I want," he answered. Asshole. "Besides, I have some good news, sort of. Actually it's not that good."
My stomach fell. "Did you uh, see her?" I asked.
"Yeah, I visited her in our dream just now," he began. I tried not to let that bother me too much. "I finally managed to get through but I couldn't hold on for very long. She started to wake up. I asked her where she was. She seemed really disoriented. Then she finally realized what was going on and said that she was in a basement and that I had to help Mia and Christian, but the dream disintegrated before she could give me her exact location. I'm hoping she'll fall asleep again, or maybe Lissa will have more luck than me, because they have such a big connection."
My stomach had sank. All my worst fears had been confirmed. They had run into trouble…and I knew what that trouble was.
"They must be in some sort of trouble, and I really doubt that it's humans, they'd be able to protect themselves from that. It must be… Strigoi," I answered. "I'll have to go relay this to Janine, please, let me know if you find out anything else."
Adrian nodded, "I will," and for once we actually shared the same emotion. Concern. There was none of the usual humor in his eyes.
I wondered if he really actually cared about Rose then. If it wasn't just him trying to sleep with her. I didn't want to think about that though. I didn't want to feel sorry for the guy.
I ran after that to tell Janine what I had learned.
Hopefully, Adrian would be able to manage some more information, before it was too late.
