As you lie before me now, like a shadow
On a pea green sea
Never thought that I could find you so hollow
Laying into me

But this cup of wine
All salt and brine makes me sleepy
A sorrow so
A field of tears that will never yield a single penny
But I don't know
I've got nothing to hold on to

Wished for gold so I could buy you a palace
By the riverside
You'd come in and I would fill your diamond chalice
You were still alive

But this cup of wine
All salt and brine makes me sleepy
A sorrow so
A field of tears that will never yield a single penny
But I don't know
I've got nothing to hold on to
I've got nothing to hold on to

Were you sleepless, tearing at the air?
Was the water everywhere?
Were you fretful, to wade into the room?
I'd been wanting to hear from you
Oh, no

Hand it over (hand it over)
Hand it over (oh)
You're weary, lay him down
You did your time so thank you very much
Hand it over (hand it over)
Hand it over (oh)
So now your hopes are all laid
But you hand it all away

Did his eyelids fix on empty chairs
You had traveled to lay beside?
A gentle torture to watch it all recede
And all the while your mother slept beside him
Oh, no

Hand it over (hand it over)
Hand it over (oh)
You're weary, lay him down
You did your time so thank you very much
Hand it over (hand it over)
Hand it over (oh)
So now your hopes are all laid
But you hand it all away

Were you sleepless, tearing at the air?
Was the water everywhere?
Were you fearful, and long to run away
From the cold clasp of Illinois?
Oh, no

-

L stared at the empty hospital bed, his owlish eyes wide. He couldn't feel the hot tears pooling and toppling over his dark lids, nor did he register the loud cry that tore from his throat until several nurses were trying to make him sit. His white hands shook, and he could feel the perspiration misting over his skin like dew. Where was Watari? Why wasn't he in the bed?

His mouth moved but no sound came out, and the water they tried to give him just sloshed over the rim of the paper cup and onto his pant leg. He had tried to visit last month, but multiple cases had caused him to post-pone his trip. "W-wait...!" His hand shot out, and his fingers wrapped around a nurse's thin wrist. She started with a small squeak; her brown eyes were wide as she stared down at him.

L swallowed thickly, trying to gather his scrambled thoughts. "T-the man in room 212, h-he was my gr-grandfather...where is he?" He was shaking so badly, and her somber brown-eyed gaze was doing nothing to help with the loud voice in his head that shrieked HE'S DEAD! HE'SDEADHE'SDEADDEADDEADDEAD!

She took a pointed glance at his fingers, and he tore his hand from her person. She cleared her throat. "I'm sorry, sir, but...your grandfather died. The cancer in his lungs spread at a faster rate than we were prepared for, and..." She bit her lip, and closed her eyes. "I'm very sorry." He didn't care when she turned away and shuffled quickly down the hall.

L crumbled on the uncomfortable hospital chair; quiet sobs racked his thin frame, and tears fell down his face. He twisted his fingers painfully through his messy raven hair, and rocked back and forth on the scratchy cushion. Guilt weighed heavily down on his bony shoulders, and he felt like the two pieces of cake he had consumed before coming were scratching up his throat. "Why didn't I come earlier!?" He said into his knees, voice eerily calm even though tears still poured down his face. "H-he...I never got to...th-thank him...." L's stomach heaved, but he swallowed down the bile.

No one looked at the strange young man as he sat in the waiting room.

-

-

Eff, lame ending but oh well. -shrug- Anyway, I hope you liked this DEPRESSING drabble; the song is by the Decemberists (haha big suprise right?) and I cried the first time I heard it. :/ Please review.