My Pain is Yours

Chapter 11: Connection to the Uchihas

Shinsei continued weeping into Aiko's chest and Aiko led her over to the bed, sitting her down. As soon as they were seated, Shinsei tried separating from Aiko, choking on her sobs as she struggled to talk, lips quivering. Aiko touched her shaking hand and held it tightly.

"Go ahead," Aiko murmured with a half-smile.

Covering half of her face with her other hand, Shinsei nodded, waiting for the tears to stop as she found her voice again. With a deep breath, she began telling her story to Aiko, relaying all those memories that she had chosen to put a lid over for so many long years.

"It all started when I was really little," Shinsei explained, sniffling. "It started when I met Uchiha Sasuke at the Konohagakure Ninja Academy…"

A younger Shinsei looked around the school she was being introduced to as a blond girl led her by the hand into each classroom. Shinsei's hair reached past her shoulders and it was as fiery red as anything most kids had seen before; she was often teased about it when she went to the park with her mother and had grown accustomed to mistrusting most people.

"Ino where are we going?" Shinsei asked, pouting. "I don't want to be here!"

"Oh, come on Shi-chan!" Ino stuck out her tongue. "Auntie said I could bring you!"

The blond girl, only a year older than Shinsei, continued pulling her through the halls, pointing out classrooms and teachers. Shinsei loved Ino very much, they were cousins after all, but she simply didn't feel comfortable going to strange places without someone to protect her.

"Here's my classroom!" Ino announced proudly, flinging the door open.

Shinsei poked her head in to see a large crowd of students all turn to look at her and Ino. The color drained from her cheeks and she shrunk behind her cousin nervously, hiding her face. "Ino!" Shinsei whimpered. "They're all looking at us now! I don't want to go in!"

"Oh! Don't be such a baby!" Ino teased, dragging her into the room against her will.

Standing at the front of the class, Shinsei was introduced by the teacher as a guest student who was staying with them for that day. Ino was grinning from ear to ear as she had Shinsei sit next to her, a raven-haired boy sitting on Shinsei's other side.

The young redhead glanced nervously around the room. Why were there so many people?

Someone tapped her shoulder.

"Excuse me, are you new here?" the boy sitting next to her asked politely.

"Um," Shinsei stared into his onyx eyes. "N-no…I'm, uh, visiting…"

"Oh," the boy was observing her carefully. "You have really red hair."

For a moment, she didn't know how to reply, but then Shinsei placed both hands on the top of her head. "Yes I do!" She beamed. "My name is Shinsei, I'm from the Yamanaka clan! I'm here with Ino for today!" Her smile grew, eyes shining as the boy smiled. "What's your name?"

The boy grinned even wider. "I'm Sasuke; Uchiha Sasuke."

Aiko watched Shinsei dab at her eyes with the blankets, pausing for a moment.

"Are you all right?" Aiko placed her arm around Shinsei's shoulders.

"Y-yeah, I can keep going," she whispered.

Aiko could tell how difficult this was for Shinsei, and tried not to press her to say too much. She slowly began to rock her back and forth, hoping that it might help to comfort her.

"A-after that," Shinsei continued, stammering a little, "Sasuke invited me to his house. Ino walked me over, of course, muttering about how jealous she was or something like that, but I was really happy to finally be going somewhere else and meeting new people. Although, I have to admit I was quite nervous.

"Anyway, Ino dropped me off at the door and left me alone to knock. I lifted my hand and was about to rap on the door, but got scared, and when I turned around to ask Ino for help she was already gone. She ditched me."

"Ino?" Shinsei furrowed her tiny brow, calling out her cousin's name. "Ino-chan?"

The door in front of her creaked open and Shinsei flinched, tripping backwards and staring rigidly at the ground.

"Hello?"

Forcing herself to look up, Shinsei almost mistook the boy standing in front of her for Sasuke, but realized that he was far too tall to be him and too old upon processing the timbre of his voice. Her little mouth opened into a confused circle, ogling at the raven-haired boy before her. Who was he? He looked nearly identical to Sasuke! Her eyes went wide and she continued to gawk.

"Who are you?" the boy asked, quirking an eyebrow. He had never seen this girl before but here she was. He frowned.

Stumbling over her words, Shinsei shyly dropped her gaze. "H-hello…my name is…um, Yamanaka Shinsei and I…uh…Sasuke-kun invited me over to play…" She looked off to the side, twirling a lock of red hair around her trembling finger. "I-I'm looking...f-for...Sasuke..." She trailed off, feeling slightly stupid, but completely humiliated. She waited for what felt like an eternity for the boy to answer her.

"You're one of Sasuke's friends?" the boy clarified, bending down until he was at her level. Shinsei looked up and nodded vigorously, hoping that he knew where Sasuke was. The boy smiled and tousled her hair.

"H-hey!" Shinsei exclaimed, blue eyes smoldering. "Don't touch my hair!" She frowned when he started chuckling.

"Yamanaka Shinsei, huh?" he pushed his bangs out of his face, still smiling. "It's nice to meet you."

Another figure appeared behind the boy and, much to her relief, Shinsei noticed a woman come around, wearing a soiled apron. She looked at the boy first, appearing to be his mother. "Itachi, what are you doing?" she scolded softly, shaking her head as she glanced over to the redhead in front of her son.

Shinsei swallowed hard; she had to have been the prettiest woman she had ever seen.

"Hello there," the woman smiled. "My name is Mikoto, I'm Sasuke's mother. Who are you?"

The tiny carrot-top tried to speak, but her voice was becoming choked because she was so afraid and nervous. Tears pooled in her eyes and Itachi narrowed his, staring at her in concern. Why was she starting to cry? "I-I," Shinsei began wiping at her eyes as tears began to flow. "I'm Shinsei! I'm Yamanaka Sh-Shinsei!"

Anxiety overtook her and Shinsei suddenly burst into tears, bawling her eyes out. Mikoto and Itachi blinked.

"Oh! Shinsei-chan!" Mikoto exclaimed, clapping a hand over her mouth and dropping by the crying girl's side.

Balling up her little fists, Shinsei wiped at her eyes, sobbing and shaking like a lost child. Then, a pair of warm arms wrapped around her quivering body. A calm, cool voice whispered into her ear, tickling the hair on the back of her neck; it was Itachi.

"Don't cry," Itachi murmured. "You're safe; I promise."

Burying her red head into his warm chest, Shinsei squeezed her eyes shut, allowing the last trail of tears to flow down her cheek before wiping it away, blowing her nose against her shirt sleeve. When she looked up at Itachi with tear stained eyes, he was gazing back at her with a tender smile; his smile made Shinsei gasp. It was warm and inviting, but also...

...beautiful.

"Shinsei! You came!"

Looking behind Itachi, recognizing the voice immediately, Shinsei noticed a little boy push past Mikoto to get to her; it was Sasuke. A bright beam split across Shinsei's lips and she cried out in joy, separating from Itachi when Sasuke ran over and hugged her tightly, nearly knocking her off her feet. She began to laugh.

"You came to play!" Sasuke chirped.

"Yes I did!" Shinsei hugged him back. "I came! I came!"

"Welcome to our home, Shinsei-chan," Mikoto said fondly. "Sasuke, why don't you show her around?"

"Yes mother!" Sasuke was overjoyed as he seized Shinsei's hand and began dragging her into the house. "Let's go!"

"O-okay!" Shinsei smiled, going in almost hesitantly to see if Mikoto was following.

However, Shinsei found herself staring at Itachi again.

Sniffling and blurting her nose into some tissues that Aiko had found, Shinsei murmured, "I was very attached to Itachi from the moment I met him; actually, I became very close with all the Uchihas; with the entire family. Soon after, I met Fugaku, their father; he wasn't as kind as Mikoto, but he was protective of me in a fatherly way.

"I met their Aunt and Uncle too, who always gave me sweets whenever I walked by," Shinsei giggled a little, much to Aiko's relief.

"And no matter how many Uchihas I met, I always liked seeing Sasuke and Itachi the most. Although, sometimes Itachi was busy training with Shisui, another one of their family members. Shisui was also very nice to me, and strong too; stronger than most of the others." A sad edge coated Shinsei's voice, as her eyes became clouded once again.

"But I always ended up idolizing Itachi.

"Itachi was always around when I went over to play and he was very kind to me. I often saw him when I went to the park because he had to go through the park to get to his training area in the woods." She paused, a nostalgic smile adorning her lips. "I still remember the day when he saved me from those kids that were bullying me because of my hair color…"

"You have red hair! You're a witch! Your bad! Your different!"

Shinsei's face smashed into the sidewalk as one of the larger boys who enjoyed teasing her shoved her down and kicked her. The taste of blood and dirt mingled with her saliva, making her sick to her stomach; so sick that she began to hack until she vomited all over the ground. Her eyes widened at her predicament, body trembling fervidly.

The boys began to shriek.

"Ew! Look at her, she's disgusting! Stupid redhead! You should be punished!"

They kicked her again.

"L-leave me alone!" Shinsei cried. "I didn't do anything wrong!"

This only started an uproar.

"Yes you did! You had red hair! You puked! You're gross! You're mean! You scare people!"

But the last comment hurt her the most.

"You were born!"

Shinsei gasped.

One of the boys kicked her in the face again, this time breaking her jaw. Shinsei screamed in pain, weeping on the ground and begging them to leave her alone. Why were they always bullying her? She had red hair, so what? Why didn't anybody like her? It wasn't her fault! She didn't do anything wrong! Why did this keep happening to her?

Another shoe made contact with her face; Shinsei could barely see anything anymore because her eyes were so swollen.

That's when she noticed something glinting out of the corner of her eye.

"Let's cut off her hair! And let's make her bleed too!"

Shinsei slammed her eyes shut, screaming 'no' inside her head.

What was she supposed to do?!

They weren't going to stop!

Thick tears fell from her eyes as the screams escalated into joy.

What was she supposed to do?

"Get away from Shinsei."

Then, she felt two shadows fall over her body and dizzily looked up.

Gasping, Shinsei squeaked, "I-Itachi? Shisui?"

All of her tormentors fell to the ground in an instant, twitching.

The heir to the Uchiha clan turned around, stopping upon seeing Shinsei's condition. The redhead's sapphire orbs widened when she saw that Itachi's eyes were not the familiar ebony hue that she was used to, but rather, a vengeful Vermillion red. She couldn't believe that he had come to save her. She reached up to him with trembling hands.

"I-Itachi!" Shinsei groped the air, wanting to be in his arms. Itachi's Sharingan faded as he bent over.

"Are you all right Shinsei?" Itachi asked gently as he scooped her up and into his arms.

"Y-yes!" Shinsei hid her bruised face in his shoulder, sobbing. "Th-thank you!"

"Why were they picking on you?" Shisui frowned as he held the glinting object that Shinsei had seen earlier. He suddenly winced. "Ow, why did they have this? This isn't something that small children should have!"

"What is it?" Itachi asked, looking over as Shinsei craned her neck to see what it was.

"A spiked ball," Shisui narrowed his eyes. "I know their parents; I'll go talk to them."

"Right," Itachi nodded. "I'll take Shinsei back and tend to her wounds and then I'll see you tomorrow at 4:00."

"Sounds good," Shisui grinned.

Shinsei watched weakly as Shisui took a different path, bidding farewell to both her and Itachi. Her stomach was still feeling nauseas, she still felt her head spinning. Ugh, she hurt everywhere! Shinsei flopped around a little, trying to get comfortable in Itachi's arms; when she tried to look up at him, he planted a soft kiss on her forehead.

"I-Itachi?" Shinsei blushed, her cheeks reddening.

"I will protect you," Itachi murmured, eyes glazed as if he were in his own world. "I promise."

"O-okay," Shinsei was still flushed. Why did he kiss her?

"Go to sleep little one," Itachi whispered. "The pain will go away soon."

Closing her eyes, Shinsei noticed the world around her darken and only one thought circulated throughout her mind; the pain was already gone.

Shinsei laughed almost bitterly as the memory ended with her blacking out. She rubbed at her eyes; they felt as swollen as that day long ago. But she was no longer a meek child; no, not anymore. Now she was a ninja, wasn't she? God, she still felt like crying as the next scene began to play through her mind; only this one didn't have such a happy ending.

"Go on," Aiko insisted evenly.

Taking in a deep breath, Shinsei murmured, "I don't know if I want to continue." Behind the wall of tears building up, however, Shinsei knew deep in her heart that she probably would tell Aiko anyway; after all, she told Aiko everything. Only, this was different. This was so painful, a memory buried so deep that she feared having it resurface.

"Shinsei?" Aiko frowned.

Why had she stopped?

"Shinsei?" Aiko shook her shoulders gently and Shinsei's body moved limply as a dazed look overcame her eyes. Aiko's hazel orbs narrowed in concern.

What was wrong with her?

"Everything changed." Shinsei said suddenly.

"Wait, what?"

"Then, one day, Itachi just wasn't the same anymore. He stopped smiling. He stopped talking.

"He stopped being 'Itachi'."

The tears began to flow fast and hard as Shinsei curled into a ball, body racking with each sob as a warm, hot wetness streamed down her flushed cheeks. Aiko stroked her hair, whispered soothing words; Shinsei was breaking down bit by bit, piece by piece. Her voice strained, her heart ached; she didn't want to be remembering any of this, but she just couldn't sleep anymore.

Shinsei was so sick of having the same nightmare of her past play repeatedly for her each and every night.

"It-it happened s-so suddenly!" Shinsei sobbed. "H-he just started t-to change and become a completely different p-person! I didn't even know him anymore!" She paused for a brief moment, throat rattling as she cried even harder, her wails shaking Aiko to her core.

Aiko held her tightly, knowing that she was starting to carve deeper into Shinsei's heart, deeper into a past that was buried under so much pain that she feared they might not overcome it. "Keep going," Aiko whispered. "I know you can." She inhaled deeply, trying to keep herself calm. "I'm here Shinsei."

Hearing Aiko's voice was comforting, but Shinsei was afraid. She was terrified of her own memories, of the haunting sorrow, the endless agony; she didn't want it to come back. She had hoped that maybe, just maybe, she could find Itachi and end the heartache he had left her with; that they could destroy it together and replace it with love.

But Itachi was no longer the same.

The situation had gone completely different from what Shinsei had planned; from what she had hoped for; from what she had dreamed. Each time she opened her lips to speak her nightmares and release them from their prison, the past would leap up her throat and seal them shut, keeping the nightmares within; it was a defense mechanism.

One that Shinsei was determined to overcome.

Eyes swollen beyond recognition, Shinsei managed to croak, "One day the police came while I was visiting and demanded to see Itachi."

Aiko tensed as Shinsei's voice cracked along with her heart.

"They wanted to know why he killed Shisui."


Author's Note: I hope I'm not boring anyone with this; ha-ha…I love Shinsei though and I decided to split her past into two different chapters. ^_^ I am trying my hardest to make it as sad as possible; I hope its coming out okay…TT-TT

I will hopefully have the twelfth chapter done soon, reviews would be as beloved as always; the second part of Shinsei's past should be the last and then we'll have to go and see what's going on with Aiko and Hidan, no? ;D (Thanks to mistress akasha and Cheeky Half-Demon for reviewing the last chapter too--love the reviews! And thank you to yoyshaia-chan for her reviews as well! xD)

Look forward to the next chapter! And if you've read this far…review!

...Or else! ^/_\^

-Aiko of the Akatsuki