I Screamed For You

I lied

To you

The same way that always do

This is

The last smile

That I'll fake for the sake of being with you

Chapter 1 ½: Let me scream for just a moment.

A/N okay I lied. That wasn't the last chapter. Lol. I had to write more I have fun writing this one xD so you guys who wantme to continue are in buissness xDD

JPOV

I sat under the hot water I couldn't breathe I had been choking on the sobs that wouldn't come for hours now. She chose him she really chose him. Even after what we shared, even after she knew I wouldn't ever find anyone other than her she was willing to let me just wait and wait for her. no matter what she was I would still always love her. I would always remember her as the fragile warm vampire she is. I choked again on the oncoming sob but of course like it always did it stopped before it came out I needed her to live and she didn't even care. I loved her so much that it hurt me and she wouldn't even let me have what I needed.

She loved me more than him. And still she stayed by his side. And she was going to have sex with him even after I was with her. he would just lose control and kill her. I should just accept that fact. At least that way she wouldn't be my enemy and it wouldn't be so hard to just get one glimpse of her

In human or not I would still want to see her

I stood and got out of the shower the dizzy overwhelming me from loss of blood. My arm ached I was deep this time luckily the vamp left hours ago or he would have known. He seemed to know that Bella was making the wrong decision just by the way when he worked over me as we actually spoke he talked about them. He knew she needed a natural life. I scoffed now the onlt person who needed to realize it was her. and of course the possive husband of hers. I choked again on a growl this time. I wanted to kill him. I wanted to rip him to shreds. I smiled at the thought. but I wouldn't just so that she wouldn't be angry with me. I dried off and put on my clothes walking to my bedroom and laying down on the small bed and looking at the ceiling. I watched the white until my mind was making designs on the ceiling.

BPOV

I woke to Edward laying down on the bed next to me

"Did I wake you?" he whispered in the darkness

"No… I was awake" I lied

"Well morning love."

"Can we just change me here?" I suddenly blurted out

"Bella… what about your desires?"

"Its… fine… I can wait…" I pictured Jacobs dark body grinding against mine as he fucked me.

"No Bella. I think in a way you are right… you do need that human experience. I am sure it is very different as a vampire…"

"Can we just stay here? I don't wanna leave…" I muttered. I wanted this to happen as soon as possible so I couldn't change my mind.

"Um… if you want to…" Edward mumbled for the first time ever.

"I'm sorry, I just don't… wanna go anywhere…"

"Its fine Bella." Edward said smiling… he leaned in pressing his stone lips to mine. It was hard to pretend it was Jacob with the coldness of him and how hard he was. I had never noticed he was like kissing a rock until now. But for some odd reason I wanted him. Regardless. I buried my fingers in his hair and kissed him hard he pryed me away easily

"Bella… not here…."

"No. here. I want this to happen today. I want you to bite me today."

"Bella…" he sighed

"What?"

"Must you be so impatient?" he said smiling and pressing his stone lips to my forehead

"Yes. I do."

"Not here. How about in our meadow?"

"sure. I hope you can run really fucking fast…"

My profanity caught him off guard but he just smiled

"Patience, love." He said as he picked me up and we were in a blur of motions.

Within 10 minutes we were in the meadow he laid me down in the grass kissing me softly the cold was making me shiver but I wanted this to go quickly so I couldn't go back to Jacob. I knew in the back of my head that he was the better choice for me. But I knew it would hurt Edward and I didn't wanna hurt anyone. I realized Edward was kissing my neck lightly I was so distant. I was surprised he hadnt noticed yet

On cue

"Bella why are you so… distant…" he said quietly to me

"I'm not. I just want this to happen. I cant wait to be one of your kind" I had the girt my teeth. In a way it kind of sickened me, the idea of being one of his kind. Sickened me.

I realized he had resumed his kissing and I foucused really hard on pretending it was Jacob. He slid off his shirt and mine simultaniously and ran his cold fingers over my stomach.

JPOV

I watched the clock again this had become a natural thing for me now

5:00 the sun was going be setting in less then 2 hours. And Bella would be leaving soon. I growled and stood from the bed that I hadn't gotten off of since I laid down in it. I strode to my car. I didn't know why I chose to torture myself like this but I did before I opened it the stench of vampire hit me strong

"Alice why are you here again?" I said frustrated

"Aw. How did you know it was me?" Her bell voice chimed

"I know your scent and you are the only one annoying enough to actually stalk me and get here."

"Aw. I stalk you… you like it" she giggled to herself and was suddenly in front of me sparkling

"Well. Why don't you just murder someone right here and shout 'ima vampire!'" I said sourly

"Come with me." she grabbed my hand and pulled me into the shadows. Her touch sickened me, but I didn't wanna hurt her feelings so I kept my hand in hers

"so why are you here?" I asked bitterly as I pulled my hand from hers

"your going to her house…" she said

"Well yeah. I was. Thanks for the interruption"

"your gonna thank me for it. Edward was gonna be there when you showed up. and I didn't want there to be a… problem…"

"a problem?"

"Yeah. A fight"

"You saw one?"

"Yeah. I did"

"Well maybe he would kill me and life might be a little easier on me…" I muttered bitterly

"No…" she said quietly

"So I would have won?"

She put her head down nodding one short bob.

"Ooh."

"Yeah." I smiled to myself picturing that in my head and smiling. Alice growled at me

"What? You said it not me." I said innocently Alice flitted to my side

"He is gone now. You can go…"

"Too bad you couldn't have let me just GO." I smiled to myself and started walking to my car I started it and turned Alice was standing in the shadows looking at me. I rolled down the window

"You are a stalker." I muttered

"that's rude to say to a lady" she said as she ran her fingers through her spikey hair.

"Is there something you wanna say?" suddenly she was in the car sparkling by me

"I know Edward isnt right for her."

"I have known… since… you and her… I know. and I have even tried to stop it."

"Atleast someone realizes it"

"Carlisle does too. Me and him are the only ones that see it though. She stays with him because she doesn't wanna hurt him… but I think in retrospect that she is hurting you way more than she can comprehend"

I sat there stunned.

"there's nothing I can do to fix this. But… shes going to be bitten at 11:00 tonight. And I cant stop it. Not alone." Alice said

"What do you want me to do?"

"Well first of all talk her out of it. Second of all if that doesn't work you can come with me… but we will talk about that when the time comes."

"Do you have a plan."

"Its only an IDEA."

"do you see me succeding in talking her out of it?"

"I don't see anything."

"Ooh…"

"Go Jacob. Your gonna need as much time as possible…" the black haired pixie said as she flitted out of the car and through the woods. I put the car in reverse and started driving to Bellas as quickly as could get my car to go.

A/N: I'm sorry about the cliff hanger you guys. Lol. I'm thinking on about 3 or 4 more chapters but who knows. That may change. lol