Chapter 39
Bennett couldn't hang out with me today. He had to take a shift someone called in sick for. We could hang out afterwards if we could. And when we hung up, I felt an urge to get out of my house. I was hating the emptiness and the quiet. I needed to get away. And my mother's clicking on the computer was downsright annoying echoeing through the house all the way up to me. So I called Cass.
She and miles were going to the mall. She needed new jeans and he had nothing to do. So I was piced up in a half hour and we went to the mall. Soemthing I used to do a lot with Cass before dating Dave. We used to buy clothes with the money my mother gave me. I never had a need for all of it. Because even before Dave was anything in my life my mother was still agaisnt the whole job thing. Something she was finally giving up when I announced I was going to work. But now it was never.
It felt strange walking into dressing room with her and a stack of hangers all of new jeans because she had shrunk her last pair in the dryer. And as awkward as it seemed miles followed us around. Not complaining. We had a conversation too among the three of us. Cass shouting over the door she was chaning behind and Miles and I just talking normally.
The tihng with Miles is he always has somethign to talk about. It's amazing. Most people like that who have interesting things to say always run out of interesting things and end up repeating them. But miles never stopped. He always talked about movies. Or books. We even talked about The Great Gatsby after Cass announced she hated it. I said some things I got from Bennett's notes in the margins off the copy he had given me. And Miels convinced Cass that it was an amazing book and that she should not hate it at all. It made me like the book better.
He talked about this movie and explained it to me and Cass once at lunch. Relating it to Alice and Wonderland and Through The Looking Glass. We watched the movie again and it made total sense. To put it simply Miles is an artsy freak. He reads and watches movies and makes art non-stop. He lieks all music. He's vegan and he's straightedge. He's just an interesting kid. I didn't realize how interesting he was until today.
Cass was aware of this long before me though.
When they started hanging out Cass was obsessed with him. not in a crush kind of way but in a way that she quoted him non-stop and thought about things more than ever. Cass isn't a deep deep philosophical thinker. But after Miles and her became friends she took babysteps to becoming one. But she's still the same Cass I knew in middle school.
She had her jeans. She stared into the mirror. "I need to re-dye my hair." She said suddenly. "My roots are showing."
I had a flashback of the conversation last night with Becky about her hair. Cass dyes her hair last minute when her roots are really showing. I watcher her flip her orange hair over her shoulder walking away form the mirror. "What color?" Miles asked.
"I don't know." She said taking a clump of it in her fist. "Maybe platinum with pink high-lights." That was a serious comment too. She wasn't joking.
Miles looked at her hair firmly as we walked up to the register. "Yeah," He said. "I like how it sounds."
At the register I looked up. "Hi Elisa," It was Rainie Joseph. She smiled. Her hair was shorter now. And she was still gorgeous.
I smield back a little. "Hi," She rang up Cass' jeans. Cass had just enough money for them. But Rainie scanned a card form the clip on her waist. Fifteen dollars were subtracted.
"Family and friend discount." She said to us.
Miles raised his eyebrows looking at me. But Rainie was bagging the jeans without looking up. "I'm so sorry I didnt' see you last night," She said to me. I looked up at her. Shy and a little shocked she was talkign to me. "Paul told me he saw you and Bennett. God, I wish he told me I would have said Hi. I feel really rude now."
"It's okay," I said.
"Did Bennett get that shift today?" She asked.
"Yeah," I said swallowing. I felt my cheeks burning but no color would show. She was so intimidating.
"Paul's working today too." She said cheerfully. She handed the bag to Cass who was silent beside me. "But hey, see you around soon."
I smield politely. "Yeah, see you later."
Walking away Cass and Miles were quiet until we got out of the store. Cas linker her arm through mine. "You're a celebrity now, Lise." She said. "I didn't know you and Rainie were friends."
I smield a little. "Me neither."
"How was that show last night?" Miles asked me. He had been talking about how he had to miss it. And I told him I was going.
"Really good." I said.
"I wish I could have gone." He said. "Cass, you would have liked them."
"Make me a CD." She said. Unhooking her arm from mine. "Jesus, Lise," she started. "I hope you don't get too popular."
"That won't happen." I said without hesitating. It was a known fact.
I got a call from Bennett when Cass and Miles and I were leaving. He was getting off of his shift in a few minutes.
"I'm here actually." I said. "I'm with Cass and Miles."
I had told him about Miels. He had talked to him a lot at lunch the other day actually. He tohught he was interesting too. "Really?" He said. "Cool, so are you leaving or hanging around?"
"We're leaving right now, but if you're getting off soon I was jsut oging to go home. We could hang out." I said.
"Yeah," He said eagerly. "Are you near the CD store?"
"Yes actually."
"Come in, I'm getting off now."
"Okay,"
"See you,"
"Bye."
Cass and Miles were talking. "Hey, I'm going to go meet Bennett." I said.
"You guy's planning a hot date." Cass said dropping beside me teasing me. Her Elisa-and-Bennett jokes were constant and tiring. I rolled my eyes.
We sat own at a table at the food court. I remained quiet. Listenign to them talk. It felt strange being here with Bennett and Paul. But the part that struck me as strange was that Paul and Bennett were perfectly fine. Friends actually. I pictured Bennett's face in my head. With the bruise and everything. It was strange seeing them talking normally. About music.
When I had seen Rainie in the store she looked completely fine to me. Seeing Paul sitting diagonal to me, he looked like he was missing something. Half of him wasn't there. Except he didn't seem to notice. It seemed like something only I noticed.
They were talkign baout Sunday Drive. Fightign actually. Paul was very intimidating having this discussion with Bennett. But Bennett wasn't scared at all of him.
"I do have that record on vinyl," Paul said.
"And have you listened to it?" Bennett asked.
"Yes," Paul nodded.
"And you still say the last record was better?"
"Yes," Paul said again. "The first one was all acoustic guitar. There was no substance to that record at all. That's not sunday Drive at all. The second record was and that sound continued into the next one. It was like putting out an acoustic EP. It is more to keep current fans interested and to put sometihng out. It's not half as good as the next two. I don't know anyone besides you that thinks that."
"Elisa agrees with me."
I looked around liek a deer caught in the headlights. Paul jsut looked at me. "You do? Are you serious?" He asked.
I swallowed quietly. "Yeah," I said.
"I'm assuming you've heard it on vinyl then..." Paul said.
"No," I said. "Not yet."
Paul looked at Bennett half shocked. "You go on and on about vinyls and you haven't even played that record for her on it yet?"
Bennett rolled his eyes. "I leant it to someone." He said. I knew that was a lie. I had seen it leaning agaisnt his record player the other night. I do't know why he was lying about this.
Paul turned back to me. "So what's so great about this first record that I'm missing?" He asked.
I felt shocked he was askign me this. Not Bennett. Bennett would have given him a better answer than I could have. My face relaxed a little. "I don't know," I started. "It jsut has a lot more feeling to it. A lot more emotion. I mean, the last two records were good too, but the first one was jsut... epic I guess. If you like the band and have any respect for them you always like that record. People have their pick for the next one. The first one was just mindblowing, is the best way to put it." I said this all slowly. I had no confidence in my voice. It was shaky and soft.
But Bennett and Paul did not notice at all. In fact they expanded on that. Bennett supporting me and Paul finally comign around and saying he'll listen to it again with what I said in his mind. And from then on I was dragged into the conversations. In the back of my head I compared this all to Dave. If it were Dave and one of his friends, I would have remained silent. Sitting and just being there. Here my presence was noticed. And I was a part of it all in the small ways I was.
Paul got less and less scary as we talked. I stopped seeing the broad shoulders and the guy who punched Bennett. I saw the one who could talk about music with Bennett and could love Rainie Joseph and the boy Rainie Joseph could love back.
I saw though that Bennett was truthful when he had said they had put everythign behind them and become friends. Paul and Bennett seemed better friends than him and Sean.
It was getting later. We'd been sitting there for almost two hours. I expected Rainie it pop up out of nowhere and join us but it remained just the two and a half of us. Because Paul seemed more and more incomplete as I saw him alone. I always pictured Rainie and Paul together. They were inseperable. But clearly they weren't.
"Sorry," Paul suddenly said. His phone had been ringing. Playing the intro to a Sunday Drive song that was off their recent EP which Bennett and I had obsessed over quietly together. He answered it turning away slightly. I tried not to listen.
Bennett turned to me. "Do you need to be home soon?" He asked. "I could give you a ride, we're leaving soon anyway. Paul was jsut waiting for Rainie to get off her shift."
"Do you mind?" I asked.
He smiled. "Do you need to ask that?" He answered.
In a minute PAul hung up his phone. "She's jsut walking out," He sighed. "I gotta' go find her wherever the hell she is. See you Tuesday, right?" He asked.
"I have it off," Bennett said. "They switched my hours with Randy's."
"God that kid's a pain in the ass." Paul said under his breathe as we all stood up.
"I'm lucky I odn't have any shifts with him anymore." Bennett said smiling. "How many do you have?"
"Three," Paul grumbled unhappily. His phone started ringing again. He looked at us one final time saying goodbye.
I watched him wlaking away. Phone up to his ear talking to Rainie trying ot figure out where she was. I heard Pretzal Shack but that's it. Bennett took my hand and we started wlaking out.
"Sorry, he was jsut going to sit aorund anyway. I figured it was the same as inviting Sean. Was it okay with you?" He asked.
"It was fine." I said. "He is sort of scary though." I added.
Bennett nodded. "He used to scare the shit out of me. But he's not that intimidating when you get to know him. He's cool." He squeezed my hand. "I must say you blew him away with your little response to why you thought the first record was better out of the three." He kissed my temple. "Blew me away too, but I'm used to it by now."
I opened my mouth to answer him.
"He always looks kind of funny to me without Rainie though." Bennett said. "Like he's missing half of his face."
"I thought that too." I said lookign at him.
Bennett smiled. Moving his hand out of mine and moving it around my waist pulling me closer to him. His lips moving ot my temple again brushing my skin lightly. Small things liek that make my heart sing in my chest for hours.
