My Pain is Yours
Author's Note: I apologize for this story coming out so late! But the phone jack we were using to connect to my internet died a tragic death. Yes, it died and we had no idea what was going on; or rather, I had an idea, I knew what the problem was, I just didn't know how it was all pieced together or how to fix it. But the good news is, I have my internet back thanks to my heroic father! So, this chapter is dedicated to him even though he'll probably never read this story…
I was overwhelmed with happiness when I saw all the reviews, favoriting, and alerts! Thank you so very much! Over 50 reviews now! Yay! Yay! Yay! I send out major thanks to cheeky half-demon, yoyshaia-chan, werewolfwithaheart, Kakashi Forever, Iced Phoenix54, and Keria Hoshigaki for reviewing the last chapter. Thank you so much, all of you! I cannot thank you enough.
Chapter 16: The Jashinist's Confusion
"So we're taking this route through Kumogakure into Konohagakure," Kakuzu muttered, eyes lavishing the map held in front of him, "And then we'll just look for Jinchuriki hosts and collect bounties until we find them all." His eyes flicked up to glare at the Jashinist beside him to see if he was listening at all.
Hidan didn't care, as usual.
"Whatever," Hidan rolled his eyes, yawning. "Let's just find another stupid Jinchuriki so Leader-sama can stop bitching at us to get it done; you know, we probably would've found one by now if your side-job didn't keep distracting us! Yeesh! You and your beloved cash!"
Ignoring Hidan to the best of his ability, Kakuzu shrugged the Jashinist off and continued leading his teammates towards their destination. Though, he glanced back shortly to see how everyone was holding up and noticed Aiko lagging behind, expression unequivocally bitter. He decided to bypass her too; it was probably a smarter choice that he didn't get involved.
After all, Hidan was going to start harassing her at any given time.
Keeping her eyes pining after the ground, Aiko refused to avert her eyes, missing Shinsei and praying that she was all right. So many questions kept filtering into her mind, holding her saddened spirit captive; was Shinsei safe with them? Were Itachi and Kisame treating her well? Was Shinsei happy? Would she see Shinsei again? That last question latched onto her mind, refusing to leave. Would she see Shinsei again?
The brunette sighed inwardly; how could she allow herself to get this upset? It wasn't making her situation anymore tolerable than before and was only delaying her farther. She came to a halt, however, upon seeing her silver-haired companion decelerating to walk beside her, grin crueler than usual. Aiko scowled; she didn't have any patience to deal with him.
"Hey," Hidan muttered, faking innocence, "why are you so depressed, eh?"
Aiko flushed, eyes widening. "I-I'm not depressed!"
Raising a silver eyebrow, tone betraying his gaze with amusement, Hidan retorted, "Oh yes you are; don't lie to me; after all, you and I both know what a horrible liar you are." He smirked at that comment and Aiko pitched him an unforgiving glower. The Jashinist raised both eyebrows at her priceless expression. "What? It's true!"
"I…y-you don't!" Aiko spluttered, cheeks burning. What could she say?
"Not only did I win that argument," Hidan grinned dryly. "But I won the last one too; you came onto me in that one though." Aiko's cheeks flooded with tepid anxiety.
Having listened to their conversation from the beginning, Kakuzu couldn't help but turn around at this, eyes narrowing and face contorting into an air conveying only utter disgust as he cast Aiko a depraved look. The kunoichi's face flamed, eyes smoldering as she glowered ruthlessly at Hidan, clenching her fists. He was so vulgar!
"I did not come onto you!" Aiko insisted, scoffing.
Hidan snorted. "Yeah, that would explain why you kissed me."
Blushing beyond recognition, Aiko stammered, "I-I did not!" She met Hidan's eyes and he was staring at her with this affronted, you-can't-argue-with-the-truth sort of leer. Defeated, she heaved out a sigh and muttered. "So what if I did?" Hidan chuckled at her response and folded his arms across his bare chest, leading Aiko to stare at his irresistible body.
Before she knew it, Aiko was lost in a stupor of mixed emotions.
That is, until Hidan's voice yanked her out of it.
"You love me, don't you?" Hidan said suddenly, eyes alight. Aiko's breath hitched.
Heart beating quicker, Aiko felt the heat flood to her cheeks and she rapidly answered, "No! I-I don't! That is…um…" She tried to look up at him, but when he arched his eyebrows the way he did, it melted her argument to nothing; and she hated that. He always knew what to say to disparage her brevity to naught, to render her helpless.
And it was only because she loved him, but was too proud to say so.
She didn't want to admit that she wanted him, that she needed him.
She didn't want him to know that he was always on her mind.
Although, she did want to know if she was on his mind the same way he was on hers.
Slowly, she worked up the nerve to ask him a question that burned her throat, that made her stomach do anxious flips and twirls; she no longer cared if Kakuzu was eavesdropping or not. A lump formed in her stomach, climbing up her throat, and Aiko barely managed to choke out her imperative query. "Hidan…do you…love me?"
Realizing that she said what she had without much thought, Aiko clapped her hands over her mouth, heart fluttering. Hidan's eyebrows both rose, appalled that Aiko worked up the courage to ask in the first place. But if she was going to play hard to get, why shouldn't he? Hidan smirked, glancing pretentiously into the distance.
Hidan parted his lips to make his answer and Aiko leaned forward.
The Jashinist spoke one word: "No."
Aiko's heart shattered.
That wasn't what she wanted to hear. No, that's not what she expected to hear; she thought that maybe, just maybe they could've gotten together, that just once, something in her life would work out. Aiko's eyes brimmed with tears and she jerked her gaze away from Hidan.
"Ha-ha…" Aiko began trembling. "Yeah…of course…I was only kidding, you know?"
This hurt. It felt like all of her wanted to stop; wanted to die. She wanted to die. What a fool she had been to fall in love with a guy like him; one who was too narcissistic to care; or maybe she was the selfish, egotistical one. Aiko wiped desperately at her eyes, halting for a moment, and Hidan passed by her, eyes narrowing when he noticed her dismayed state.
"Huh? What's the matter with you?" Hidan demanded callously.
Aiko's eyes flashed and she coldly retorted. "Nothing."
Striding past the Jashinist, Aiko wanted nothing more than to be alone. She joined Kakuzu, walking beside him. When Kakuzu asked her what she was doing, she didn't respond with words; instead, she shot him a warning death-glare that missing Waterfalls ninja wisely heeded. However, Aiko couldn't bring herself to look at Hidan.
Frowning, Hidan stared, confused, at the back of the kunoichi in front of him. What had her so upset all of a sudden? He shrugged it off and sped up to join Kakuzu and Aiko, but when he did, Aiko quickened her pace and went to Kakuzu's other side, avoiding him completely.
Hidan grimaced. "What's your problem?"
Aiko didn't reply and something about this angered Hidan.
"Fine, don't talk to me," Hidan snapped. "See if I care."
Breath catching and rattling in her throat, Aiko refused to even grant the silver-haired man a passing glance. If she did, he would overwhelm her, make fun of her; make her look like an idiot. And if she dared speak to him, she knew better than anyone else what would happen.
She would burst into tears…and break.
"Here we are," Kakuzu announced, parading into the cheap hotel rooms they rented.
"This place stinks!" Hidan complained, sniffing the air in an affronted manner.
Brushing by her comrades, Aiko went straight to her room and shut the door. Kakuzu shook his head at Hidan and the silver-haired man scoffed and dragged his scythe into his room, muttering about how seriously everyone took everything. Kakuzu wasn't ready to chide Hidan yet, so he settled himself on the couch to relax before the Jashinist returned.
Kicking his feet up on the coffee table, Kakuzu withdrew the daily paper from their current location to give it a quick overview to see if there were any reasonable bounties they ought to pursue. He pinched the bridge of his nose, realizing that Hidan was going to obliterate his silence as soon as he appeared so Kakuzu decided that a nap would be more effective while he had the opportunity. As the said immortal reentered the room, however, Kakuzu's evanescent silence evaporated with the coming of their Leader's cogent voice.
"Hidan, Aiko, Kakuzu, I need you to come here immediately; we're sealing Six-tails."
"Yes sir," Kakuzu replied gruffly, irritated that his tranquility ended so soon. "We'll be there in a minute."
"Good, see that you are."
The voice vanished and Hidan cast the ceiling a decadent look that only worsened as Aiko's door clacked open, the brunette appearing with a still saddened glint in her softened hazel orbs. Kakuzu nodded to her and she casually strolled over, keeping her distance from Hidan. The Jashinist twitched, unable to understand her behavior, but simply clapped his hands together and focused his chakra.
In a moment, they were all standing in the presence of a giant statue.
Observing the swift change of panorama, Aiko admired the monumental stone hands in front of her. Analyzing the way they were positioned and the large head in front, Aiko figured that the enormous features were probably used for a ritual of some sort, an inimitable sealing. She watched Hidan leap up to one of the fingers protruding from the hands and Kakuzu pointed her to the left pinky finger. She hopped onto it and took her place.
A man with rings spinning around his pupils greeted the newcomers. "Welcome Aiko, Hidan, Kakuzu," Pain murmured, placing his hands together. "We have a new member to our organization, Aiko. She is the Akatsuki medic nin and as such can be summoned whenever needs be. She will continue traveling with Hidan and Kakuzu for the time being." Aiko peered at the leader cloaked in darkness, wondering who or what he was.
"With Hidan and Kakuzu, hmm?" a figure undistinguishable to Aiko murmured.
"Yes, Deidara," Pain replied.
Peering at Deidara, Aiko had difficulty making out his facial features from where she stood. She squinted, focusing her chakra to her eyes. From what Aiko could see, he was a tall blond, older than she was by a few years, with the most gorgeous hair she had ever seen. Aiko listened as he spoke again, voice distinctly deep and masculine, betraying his effeminate appearance.
"Why pair her with them though? They don't really require medic care," Deidara muttered.
"Come on! Let's get this over with!" Hidan drawled from the other side of the room, causing Aiko to blush. "I want to get out of here; I have rituals that I owe Jashin-sama!" This rendered the entire room silent until Pain spoke, tone giving way to a slight hint of annoyance.
Pain stiffened in the shadows. "Very well, let the sealing begin."
Doing as everyone else, Aiko merged her hands, focusing her chakra and concentrating. Looking directly in front of herself, Aiko saw the coiling spirit of the Biju they had fought rising in front of her and being stowed away into one of the eyes on the statue head. As she did her part in the sealing, her eyes wandered above, able to pick out a pair of Sharingan eyes belonging to Itachi, a large sword, the Samehada belonging to Kisame, and wondered where Shinsei was. She located Zetsu as well, Venus flytrap noticeable, she could easily pick out Kakuzu in all his tallness and then she pinpointed the glinting circle of Jashin gleaming around Hidan's neck; she winced.
Why was she even looking in his direction?
Concentrating solely on the task before her, Aiko poured her chakra into the assignment, and soon, she found her physical self drained. After the third ongoing day of sealing the horrible beast, they were finished and the manifestation of the chakra monster could no longer be sensed. One of the eyes on the head snapped open and everyone relaxed.
Hopping down from the stone hand, physically enervated, Aiko landed deftly on her feet, going into a slight crouch. She stood up and arched her back, hearing a soundly pop and then a crack. She extended her arms high above her head, yawning and stretching until she felt the soothing cracks in all her joints. This sealing business was rather tiresome.
Aiko then chanced a glance in her teammate's direction and saw them conversing with Pain.
Hanging her head, Aiko could only imagine what they were talking about; half of her hoped that it was getting her removed from their team, but the other half still wanted to stay with Hidan. Her face fell. How could she still want to be anywhere near him after she made such a mistake? He knew that she loved him didn't he? And he didn't return those feelings.
God, she still wanted to crumple up and die.
Averting her eyes from the cracked stones supporting her, Aiko located Itachi and Kisame across the hand to which she stood opposite of and dashed over to them. She missed Shinsei even though it had hardly been three days, and wanted to reassure that she was as safe as when they parted. She halted beside them and Kisame threw a glance in her direction.
"Hey Hime!" Kisame leered toothily, blue skin cobalt in the absence of the illumination.
"Hi," Aiko replied quietly, swallowing hard. "Um, I came to see how Shinsei was doing."
Itachi answered her this time, Sharingan activated. "She is fine."
Nodding and smiling at this news, Aiko released a relieved sigh and thanked Itachi, asking that they relay a greeting to Shinsei from her; although it felt like no words were exchanged between them. For whatever reason, Aiko could no longer hear herself thinking, could no longer grasp the concept of a conversation; it felt like there was a nearby presence smothering her and she cagily turned around.
A woman with an ivory, origami flower was eyeing her.
Gulping, Aiko contracted and retracted her fists, digging her nails into the palm of her hand until blood seeped down her knuckles. Is that her? Could that be Konan-chan? She dropped her gaze to think, mind wallowing in doubts. If it is…then the man with the strange eyes; he must be Nagato…but he looks like Yahiko! Her stomach squirmed and her face paled. But how is that even possible?
"Hime? Hey Hime are you feeling all right?" Kisame narrowed his quaint, white orbs and raised the pitch of his voice, jarring Aiko from her psyche's qualms. "Hime!"
"H-huh?" Aiko stuttered, awakening from her mind's enrapture.
She glanced hurriedly back at the place where she established seeing the inexplicable woman, but when she did there was no one in sight. This made her stomach turn, hoping frantically that she wasn't seeing things; no matter what happened, it seemed like her life was beginning to run downhill at a slowly accelerating, unstoppable pace that she would be helpless to resist.
"Listen, we'll tell Shinsei that you miss her," Kisame grinned speciously.
The kunoichi blinked before identifying that she was being spoken to. "Hm? Oh…thanks," Aiko murmured, sentence broken. "I…really ought to be…getting back." She garnished her lips with a deteriorating smile and vanished into the ebony void, disappearing to find her comrades.
Kisame and Itachi exchanged concerned glances and shrugged it off before transporting themselves back to where Shinsei was waiting. Aiko rounded a corner and saw the remains of smoke dancing where the pair used to be standing; at least they got along. When she rounded the wrist of the giant hand, she found Kakuzu and Hidan walking away from Pain.
Aiko took her time walking up to them.
"There you are," Kakuzu growled as Aiko came into view. "Leader-sama wanted to meet you."
The brunette apologized. "Sorry."
Grunting, Kakuzu muttered, "Not that it really matters, you can meet him anytime, really." Aiko wanted to ask what he was talking to them about, but, luckily for her, Kakuzu seemed to be in a conversational mood. "Also, Leader-sama pulled us aside to inform us that we're pursuing the Two-tailed cat as well. Deidara and Sasori have been sent after the One-tailed Shukaku. You understand that we may be up early tomorrow then, I presume?" Aiko nodded and Kakuzu made a hand sign. "Good. Then we'll head back tonight and get some sleep."
Aiko's hands were shaking as she placed them together.
Throughout that entire conversation she had with Kakuzu, Hidan didn't interrupt once. He was staring at her the entire time with accusing eyes. Concentrating hard, Aiko struggled to teleport herself to where she had come from; usually this wasn't such a trying task, but with the possible emergence of Konan, Hidan's apparent dislike of her, her loneliness without Shinsei; Aiko knew that slowly she was breaking back down to nothing.
And it hurt.
Upon returning to her dilapidated hotel room, Aiko looked out the splintered window and saw a flash of blinding lightning strike the onyx heavens as the sky began to weep. She slowly backed away from the window, suffering a wave of déjà vu as the bed springs moaned beneath her weight, begging her to get off.
How odd, Aiko felt the tears welling up in her eyes. Before I joined the Akatsuki, Shinsei and I were staying in hotel rooms and mine was just as crappy as this one…they have a lot of the same characteristics and even the sky is crying like it was then. A tear rolled down her cheek, remembering Hidan as she glanced at her shuriken holster.
Though right now, I feel like I've been rendered in two.
Author's Note: Yeah, this wasn't a very happy chapter, was it?
Please review!
-Aiko of the Akatsuki
