Chapter 40

When Bennett dropped me off at home there was a jeep in my driveway. I was staring at it wondering why it was there. Why Amber was home. And it hit me that she was on her winterbreak. She had to come home. My mom had been calling her a lot asking her when she would be home. when she was going to grace us with her presence. I think my mother jsut wanted someone to vent to about me. My mother isn't mad she just doens't get how I could have moved on so fast. I didn't want to explain to her that I cheated on Dave too. Because she wouldn't see how I did it for the right reasons.

"Who is that?" Bennett asked. He was looking at Amber's jeep curiously. I think from the little I talked about my mother he knew this wasn't her car.

"My sister's home." I said. "I didn't know that hse was coming so soon."

He nodded. We had two more days of school. Two little days until we got out. Christmas was close. I leaned in to kiss Bennett. His moved his hand to my face. Brushing my skin lightly. I walked up to my house, he pulled away. He usually doesn't until I'm in my house but I think he sensed how quiet I got seeing my sister home. Because that meant my mother was too. My mother always was home when Amber arrived from school.

I heard them talking in the kitchen. "Hello?"

I started walking towards their voices. It was strange having them not at each other's throats. But amber was talking baout classes and I slipped in. Seeing they were leaning onto opposite counters drinking coffee. The smell was becoming unbearable for me, being surrounded by coffee four days a week was making me hate coffee. Becky didn't seemed bothered by it. Coffee was water to her it seemed.

"Hey, Kid." Amber said smiling at me. "Where were you?"

"The mall," I said. "With my friends." That prepositional phrase left my mother smiling. Glad I wasn't with Bennett like I have been none-stop all week.

"Christmas shopping?" My mother asked.

I shook my head.

"Elisa and I are going Tuesday," Amber said. We had been tlaking about when she would be home. The orginal thought was she would be here Tuesday. But somehow she was here. And she seemed happy. Sipping coffee talking to my mother. The woman she once swore she hated. When she was my age.

I nodded. "Yeah," I said.

My mother was smiling brightly. "That's good." She looekd at me adding something I thought was uneccessary. "Are you going to get your boyfriend something or not?" She said it so nicely too.

"Yes." I said softly.

I hung around in the kitchen for a few minutes. Amber telling me about how her break was early due to a snowstorm up north and how they let all the students go home early. When I had welcomed Amber home I went upstairs. Closing the door to my room. Relieved I had an ally in this cold quiet empty house.


For dinner we had spaghetti. My mother can at least make that for us. We all sat silently almost. Twirling our spaghetti. The fourth chair still empty for our father to sit in. The three of us not saying much. Amber loking from me to my mother. Our eyes down and our mouths closed. But she said nothing. Until the silence was eating all of us up with each time we swallowed.

"So," She said to me. "How's your job?"

My mother looked at Amber. "How did you know she had a job?" She asked before I even had my mouth open to respond.

"We've been e-mailing mom, calm down." Amber said. She tore a piece of her roll of popping it in her mouth. She chewed and swallowed. "You happy to be employed like the rest of us?"

One of the other reasons why my mother was agaisnt me gettign a job was Amber again. She had been hired and fired from more jobs than anyone I ever met. Not even making it to a barrista-stage at Starbucks. She worked everywhere. When Kerrington Mall was jsut a little one before they added a couple floors and worked at all the small stores that were later bought out. I grinned. Looking down at my food.

"It's fine." I said. "The girl I work with is fun."

My mother put her fork down and listened. It was strange. Watching her looking between me and Amber casually listening in on the things she had been too rude about my job in general to ask.

"What's her name?" Amber asked. The type of question my mother would have if I were talking about a math class or something. Even though Amber had a crazy high school phase she would make a great mother. I knew that when my dad left and my mother started working too much.

"Becky," I said. "She's Bennett's best friend's girlfriend. So we hang out with them a little. She is a lot like Cass but a little more conservative. I don't know, she's just a fun person to hang out with."

"You work at Carol's right?"

"Yeah,"

"God she had great jelly donuts," Amber said. "Me and my friends were obsessed with them. I went there once a week all Senior and Junior years."

"They are good." I said. Dave used to get them, but I never ate his. He always got grape jelly I'm more of a red-jelly type person. The classic one. Bennett likes those too but he doesn't eat a lot from Carol's. He says he's sick of them. His mother used to buy him one a week from age five to ten.

"Coffee too." Amber said poking her fork at me. "You have a discount at all there?"

"Free coffee for us and friend and family." I said. It was a new thing Carol added feeling nice.

"Sweet," She said. "I'll stop by when you're working."

My mother picked up her fork again. The conversation ending casually. Her mouth folded into a thin line. I looked away from her. She didn't want to have anything to do with this. I didn't get why. She still pushed me to quit. I never complain though. Not once when I have to wake up an hour earlier on school mornings to serve coffee to crabbing kids from my school and Coolen. It's something to do. It gives me purpose.

In two minutes we all finished simotaneously like robots. I kept my mouth shut bringing my dish to the sink and washing it off and putting the other dishes as well as mine into the dishwasher. Amber saving leftovers. "I have to make a business call." My mom said walking out of the room. Her and Amber had had a glass of wine each. I drank milk. But I watched my mother walking to her office, her smooth hand wrapped around the stem of her wineglass.

It was a perfect image. Something I wish I had taken a picture of. Hung up on the walls.

But I jsut turned back to the hot running water. Rinsing off the sauce stained plates and moving them mechanically to the racks of our dishwasher.

Amber leaning closer to me. "It's worse than I thought between you too." She carried a container of spagetti to our fridge.

I nodded. "It's awful," I said softly.

She nodded. And we left the kitchen silently. I looked back seeing how we had left no sign of us being in there. Once I turned off the light. It was another picture of perfection. Sometihng a kitchen should never be. I always imagined a kitchen being a mess. Dishes in the sink. Phones on the counters. Pots and pans stacked around waiting for the stove too cool off and for them to be neglected for two days before finally put away. But no- our kitchen was a stainless steel dream. I've seen identical images in Ikea magazines.

Amber was in her room. Her door open as she unpacked her clothes. I walked by to my room. Picking up the phone and dialing. Two rings before his voice filled my ear. I realized how uneasy I was. How I felt so misplaced. But his voice calmed me down. I knew where I belonged.

In my quiet house, I left my door cracked open, aware that all of the family I had left could hear my smiling and laughing and talking to the one person I never needed to learn how to be myself around. It came naturally. Stunning me and catching me off-guard. The same way it was when he first spoke to me of all people.


A/N: It's funny. I was figuring I'd just finish this chapter tomorrow. I cranked out a good 1200 words from all I had this afternoon. I'll be gettign a few more updates in soon. This week I'm free alot. When my mom works I can sneak 2 or 3 updates in a day. But if you're a "Perfect Kisses" fan there may or may not be a little surprise for you. A gift so to speak- tomorrow or so. Happy Holidays!

Can you see what's gonna' happen soon? Predictions? Review Review Review Review.