My Pain is Yours
Chapter 19: Hidan's Confession
Facing Hidan to admit her feelings was harder than Aiko anticipated. Every time she worked up the nerve to open her door and pass him a hopeful glance he would turn to her and her flame of courage would flicker out. She paced pensively in her room, struggling to find some way to cope with the trepidation that only seemed to worsen as she suspended doing so, procrastinating for going on three elongated days.
I can't keep doing this! I have to tell him how I feel!
Though Aiko found that every time she swept up enough audacity to turn that handle clouded with her warped reflection, the door would creak ajar and she would be at the mercy of a lavender oblivion. Each time, Hidan anticipated her arrival, and would stare coldly at her through that endless gaze merged with puzzlement and frustration.
Allowing her chest to heave upwards as she swallowed yet another choking breath, Aiko felt her teeth catch her lip and pinched her eyes shut. The more she thought about him, the more it made her feel obligated to run out and scream her feelings; but he would always ensnare her in that composed gaze that she yearned to possess.
Come on Aiko, you can do this! You have to get over this…you've faced much worse situations, right?
Clenching her fists amid a scornful glower, Aiko chewed on her lower lip, teeth threatening to gnaw through the tender skin. Sure, she had faced worse life-or-death battle situations, but this was the same thing, only internal; which made it far deadlier. If she was able to openly admit her feelings for Hidan and he rejected her, she would crumple up and die.
There would be no point in living.
"Hey, Aiko!" Kakuzu suddenly hollered, causing the kunoichi to flinch, her mind emptying. "Come out here!"
Wobbling a little, Aiko didn't think twice about rushing into the other room upon hearing Kakuzu's command. She dashed into a scene where Zetsu was speaking with Hidan and Kakuzu, a noticeable blush creeping into Aiko's cheeks when she saw Hidan, and then there was another figure cloaked in an identical crimson-clouded cloak that Aiko couldn't identify.
"There you are," Kakuzu growled, keenly sensing her presence. "You've been locked in your room for all eternity."
Nodding indifferently at Kakuzu's comment, Aiko's stare floundered to the orange-masked man accompanying Zetsu. She felt a quiver jolt through her when he immediately returned her gaze, body seeming to lift up with excitement as he eyed her fervidly. Aiko swallowed her anxiety, keeping it at bay, as the hypothetical new member tugged at Zetsu's sleeve.
"Zetsu-san! Zetsu-san! Is this her? Is this Aiko-san?" he asked animatedly, pointing ardently.
"Yes," Zetsu replied calmly. "That is our medic nin."
"H-hi," Aiko stammered, holding out her hand cordially. "I'm Aiko."
"And I am Tobi!" the elated man introduced, timbre carrying child-like qualities.
The missing Waterfalls nin knew how the replacing of partners went as he killed many of his own, and knew that once one's partner died, they would be replaced by someone else; Kakuzu couldn't help but wonder what unfortunate lost their partner to earn Tobi as a tedious surrogate. Eyes darting from Zetsu to Tobi, Kakuzu callously inquired, "So who died?" Silence. Aiko tensed, eyes flicking warily to Tobi who started dawdling around the room aimlessly in an attempt to appear as innocent as possible. Zetsu dragged a sigh out from his throat.
"It was Sasori; he was killed by Chiyo no Sunagakure and Haruno Sakura."
Aiko's mind possessed fast reflexes. Sasori? He was the man within Hiruko, which made him Deidara's partner!
"What about Deidara?" Aiko timorously blurted out. "I-is he okay?"
The Jashinist glanced sharply over to the kunoichi, whose eyes he could see brimming with concern for the blond. Why did she even give a damn? He gritted his teeth, perceiving her unrestrained apprehension; it pissed him off. His eyes glinted amid endless inquires, though one troubled him most; why did he give a damn? Well, at that point it didn't really matter.
Hidan twitched, leaping from his spot on the couch. "What about him?" Hidan curtly snapped.
Wincing nervously at Hidan's reproachful tone, Aiko realized what she said and quickly backtracked, although in the heat of the moment she opted to argue her already stated question's defense. "I'm the medic nin, aren't I supposed to be worried?" She snapped, voice faltering at the obstinacy of her unforgiving pitch.
Hidan took the piercing note striking him defensively. "What is your issue?!"
A spark of retaliation detonated in Aiko's eyes. "My issue?"
This was the last straw. She strode hastily to the door leading directly outside, wrenching it open and slamming it shut as she simultaneously vanished. The echoing bang pulsated around the walls, bouncing off to knock everyone into silence. Tobi murmured that he wanted to leave and Zetsu nodded, both of them promptly disappearing, misted by a fog of smoke. Kakuzu cast Hidan a deadly glower of disapproval, which the Jashinist scoffed at.
"See something you want?" Hidan muttered, grunting as he got to his feet.
Kakuzu remained obscured in the lethal hush. "You're a moron."
Puddles splashed around Aiko's ankles in a frenzy of water, climbing up her knees as she fled the apartment. How could she have messed up like that?! Her eyes flooded with tears, wishing that it would rain so no one would see her cry. Her legs screamed to overtake her lung's piercing cries of anguish as she forced them into over-drive.
He hates me.
Rivulets stained her crimson-tarnished cheeks, lips seeking air as they split apart. Where was she running to? It didn't matter. She pushed herself, adrenalin fueling her angst, impelling her to steal each step, permitting her to obliterate any physical obstacles that might halt her.
I wish I never met him.
Collapsing at the base of a tree, legs trembling, Aiko hung her head. What had she done? Her mind throbbed, sending out painful shockwaves amid emotional agony to cripple her into a quivering, sobbing mess. Everything seemed to flood from her expressive eyes, drowning her sorrows with more agony, racking her body with more vigor; she couldn't go on.
I've screwed up big time.
Her hands wiped desperately at her chaotic hazel orbs to erase her distress.
Why can't I just hurry up and get a hold of myself? Because of my weaknesses, my stupid goddamn pride, I've lost all those dear to me. I can't keep putting up these facades! Her eyes ran like faucets, unleashing raging torrents as she shook beneath her cracking spirit. Damn it! I promised myself that I'd be stronger! What happened to my resolve?
Glaring defiantly at her hands, Aiko cursed beneath her breath, willing the heartache to dissolve into harmless fragments of her memory. Though her legs continued quaking beneath her weight, Aiko forced herself onto her feet, eyes glowing amid audacity. She breathed in deeply, inhaling the fresh scent lingering from the earlier rain.
I have to be strong.
Spinning around on her heel, Aiko wandered back to the sullied hotel, mind swarmed with anxiety. Once the building was visible, however, Aiko felt an impulse to run away burn in her veins. Why was she so nervous? Did she truly fear being rejected this much? Her heart skipped a beat as she neared the house, legs shaking. She did fear rejection.
Taking cautious steps onto the porch, hand hovering over the gleaming doorknob as her legs brought her nearer, Aiko froze, tense atmosphere seizing her in an unbreakable halt. She hung tight to the breath stalled in her throat, eyes watering again. She couldn't do it. Pulling her hand back just far enough, Aiko vacillated in the moment, mind twisting horrible images that could befall her if it didn't go well. She could already see Hidan rolling his eyes, stalking away, breaking her.
Her overreacting imagination delayed her decision.
Lips quivering, Aiko whispered to herself, "Just open it." Her hand stretched forward again, tension building up until she felt prepared to hurl, perspiration accumulating on her forehead; she urged herself again to take the doorknob and to open the door. When her hand touched the cold brass sphere, her immediate reaction was to recoil, but she hardened her fist and pushed. The door swung open with a sickening whoosh and Aiko dithered weakly.
"Yeesh! It took you forever! Where have you been?"
A breath hitched in Aiko's throat, hearing his voice; of course, it had to be him.
The Jashinist relaxed on the couch and it looked although he may have drifted off into a peaceful sleep if it weren't for the bloody spear lying jaggedly from his chest, a crimson sea expanding across his chest to drip onto the couch. Aiko couldn't deny how sexy Hidan was covered in his own luscious, opulent scarlet blood that he donned as if it were silk. Kakuzu, on the other hand, was horrified upon entering the room.
"Hidan!" Kakuzu roared, entering the room to see the Jashinist lying on the couch, blood spraying from his chest. "What are you doing?!"
"A ritual to Jashin!" Hidan countered obviously, tone unrepentant.
Observing the way in which Hidan's pettiness seemed to override his complacency, Aiko already felt a crushed sensation sweeping over her, could already see his perfect lips mouthing his now unattainable answer. Her face contorted in pain for the briefest of moments, staring at him amid a pining gaze. He was divine, confident, perfect; impossible. She felt tiny compared to him, weak; he could destroy her with a single word. Aiko couldn't face him now, absolutely couldn't. She sped by the couch Hidan was laying on, taking refuge in her room only to beat herself up for being so pointlessly tentative.
I hate myself. Every time I…argh! I should just forget about this! Wait, no. No, I can't! I-I have to try again…but not right now…
Time passed like death, and Aiko refused to leave her room, her sanctuary. The air in her room became sweltering among the uncontrollable apprehension, her drowning nervousness; she passed the time by brushing her hair repeatedly, hoping to alleviate her mounting tensions. Hours strolled by until the moonlight appeared to stain her floor.
It's night already?
Looking to her knees, Aiko exhaled a sigh, body shaking. She needed to breathe again.
Venturing from her bed, Aiko noiselessly opened her shabby window and hopped out onto the roof ledge, avoiding using the door in fear that she might awaken Hidan or Kakuzu. She flicked her head up to the glittering sky illuminating the nocturnal abyss resting below it, eyes catching and holding the light as she leapt to the ground, landing agilely in a crouch.
She felt free.
Taking up a brisk pace, Aiko strolled through the vacant streets devoid of people, eyes scouring the darkened shops. The only sound was that of the rustling trees whimpering hushed lullabies to the wilting flowers that dared not bloom without the sun. Aiko frowned at the close petals, vaguely capable of relating to them.
"What'd you come out here for, night-gazing?"
Flinching, Aiko whipped around to find Hidan staring at her with an accusing gaze, eyebrows raised scintillatingly. What is he doing here? She flushed, frozen into place as he removed himself from his spot and strode over to her, violet eyes flashing. Her breath was arrested precariously in the depths of her throat, choking her; causing her mind to swim from the lack of oxygen. Aiko begged her legs to run, but they ignored her command, anchoring her where she stood, causing her to go into a panic.
What am I going to do?!
"Why have you been avoiding me, eh?" Hidan demanded with a perplexed frown, stopping when he arrived in front of her.
"I-I'm not avoiding you!" Aiko lied, thrusting her body around to escape. I can't look at him!
Hidan reached out and effortlessly caught her wrist, clamping onto it firmly with an inescapable clutch. Her lips parted to liberate a soundly gasp, breath reaching up her throat to flee from her hold. Eyes gripped with alarm, Aiko tried to tear her hand from him, nearly succeeding in doing so, but he held her tight.
"Don't give me that crap," she could hear his tone rising. "You have too been avoiding me."
Snapping her eyes shut to keep the tears hidden, Aiko whispered, "Let me go, Hidan."
He seemed to get some sort of sadistic enjoyment from her strife and chuckled. "Not until you tell me why you've been running away from me for nearly a week." There was silence. She didn't reply, didn't respond at his words, and the Jashinist managed an unimpressed scowl. "Damn it woman, do you even know how shitty I've been feeling lately?"
This caught Aiko's attention as Hidan heaved out a frustrated sigh.
She tilted her head just enough so that she could see his frowning face, though his tone remained somewhat serious as he broke into a rant. "Every time I've even tried to look at you, or talk to you, you blow up in my face and then Kakuzu gets so far up my ass I think he's still stuck up there! Not to mention, you start flirting with that fricken' blond Iwagakure hoe too!"
A blush crept into Aiko's pallid cheeks. "Were you…jealous?"
Spitting on the ground, loosening his hold, Hidan unashamedly admitted, "Hell yes! Why else would I be so pissed?" He released Aiko only to grab her roughly by the shoulders and force her to face him; when he saw a look of bewilderment in her eyes, he cracked a smug smirk, lavender eyes alight. "And you know what? Now that I have you, I'm not letting go; I think you're thinking the same, eh?"
"W-what?!" Aiko's face exploded with heat, heart pulsing with rapid beats. What is he saying?
He smirked at her flustered reaction. "Shut up, you know you want me as badly as I want you."
Before the stunned medic nin could utter a word, Hidan smashed his lips into hers. The feel of his warm lips crushing the air from her mouth made her dizzy, lightheaded; even more so as he backed her against a tree, hands entangled in her hair. She draped her arms around his neck, pulling her body closer against his, lips blissfully undividable. He was strong, powerful, unhesitating; and she loved that. Her eyebrows knitted, striving to cope with the loss of air.
His fingers penetrated her innumerous locks of hair to brush against her neck, inciting little tingles that aroused lustful desires within Aiko. She crammed her lips firmly against his, though her lungs screamed from lack of oxygen, pleading with her to breathe. She craved more of his cogent taste, pined to inhale his potent scent, searched with her lips for more of him. She heard his breath hitch, grip tightening and releasing and she knew that he needed air as much as she did.
When Hidan pulled away, Aiko remained breathless, longing for more.
The Jashinist grinned smugly. "That wasn't a kiss, just so you know." He cupped her cheek with his hand, drawing her closer to him as he pressed his lips against hers, innocently whispering, "I was only doing that to shut you up, love."
Author's Note: Hurray for Aiko and Hidan! Yay! Yay! Yay! I am so happy! This was a very difficult chapter to write and I hope you all enjoyed it! Of course, there is much more to go, I have everything planned out! I am just so excited!
As always, thank you so much to my beloved reviewers, who I would not be writing this much without, you guys give me the encouragement to keep writing, and the inspiration to try and write better; thanks for the last chapter goes out to Kakashi Forever, cheeky half-demon, yoyshaia-chan, werewolfwithaheart, mistress akasha, and Iced Phoenix 54; I love you all so very much; thank you, thank you, thank you!
Please review!
-Aiko of the Akatsuki
