Chapter 44

I was sitting on Cass' bed flipping through a music magazine she bought because her favorite band was named "Band of the Year" or something in it. She was looking at her roots in the mirror. I flipped through the pages as she talked about whatever. Asking me what I got for Christmas. Really, I didin't get anything special for Christmas. My mother just gave me money and gift cards and a few little things I'll end up sticking in my closet.

"I'm dying my hair this Friday, it's disgusting and trashy now." She said.

Her hair's been orange for about four months now. I have to say I liked it orange the best I think. But I get why she would want to dye it again. Her natural dirty blonde hair was showing. And once she notices it it eats her up until she decides to dye it. "What color were you thinking?" I asked.

"I was going to do platinum blonde with pink highlights," She said. "But I'm going to do red. Like really red. They had some at that store I got this orange from. I really like it."

"That'd be cool." I said turning the page. She moved away form the mirror. Walking over to her bereau. "Is dying your hair hard?" I asked curiously.

"No," She said. "It gets easy. I think I'm good at it by now."

"Is it easy to rake care of your hair after?"

"Yeah," She said. Her head turned, her eyebrows folded together. "What's up with all these questions?"

I shrugged. "I was just wondering." I turned back to the article about some band I knew.

She was smiling. I could tell. "You thinking about dying your hair aren't you!" She said.

"No," I said.

"I don't get why you don't." She said. "You'd look so good with dark hair."

I looked at her. "I'd chicken out even if I tried." I said. "If my mom would not flip out and chop my head off maybe. But I don't think I'm the kind of person who would dye their hair."

"You've changed a lot Elisa." She said. "Do you hear yourself? Before Bennett you would have never even asked me about dying my hair or anything. Now you're saying you would consider."

"I'm not that different."

"Do you want to try?" She asked. "Even if you chicken out?"

I thought about it. I didn't mind my hair. But everyone in my family had this color hair. I was too pale to have hair this light. Considering it... was probably like saying you'll go on a roller coaster and chickening out. But I knew Cass would never give me a hard time about this. So I figure it'd be okay to consider doing it. Try to at least. My mother would be pissed. I had no idea how she'd react. I realized I stopped caring though. What my mother thought.

"Sure," I said looking at Cass.

In an hour we had a color picked out of hair dye she had once had. This dark color I actually loved. And I hadn't chickened out yet. I wasn't even nervous or feeling any different picking out a hair color. We planned Friday afternoon. But I had to leave. I was going to IHOP with Bennett and his friends and he was picking me up in a half hour.


Sean and this kid Jonah I had just met shoved tables together. And we all sat around them. I sat next to Bennett. Becky to my other side. There were two other kids. One of them a smaller kid. Sophomore. His name was Chase, Jonah's little brother. The other was this kid Nick with spikey hair and a wrinkled flannel shirt he looked like he had been wearing for days.

There were six of us. And from what Jonah was saying to Sean there were usually more even without me.

Across the restaraunt I saw Rainie and Paul. Not even seeing us come in. They were talking. Or she was talking excitedly. Using hand movements you'd expect to see when a very energetic person was explaining a a train running over seven cars and three people. But he was just staring at her and she was smiling and tlaking.

I was sitting there for a few minutes listening to Bennett talking to Jonah. When their conversation ended, Jonah looked at me. His eyes widened. And he smiled. He had the straightest teeth I had ever seen. But he was starign at my shirt. "You just got some cool points," He said loudly. He put his hand in the air for me to give him a high five.

I felt awkward. I gave him a high five.

"Bennett, we've gotten another Saves The Day fan." Jonah said to Bennett.

Bennett was smiling. "Guess what else she listens to?" Jonah widened his eyes.

"Get Up Kids?" He guessed. He didn't even wait he held his hand up again for a high five. He held on to my hand. "When you dump this kid call me."

I smiled a little. Bennett rolling his eyes sliding a hand around my waist. I wasn't on the outside anymore of any conversation. I didn't miss it either. I was still quiet. Saying as little as possible. But nobody acted weird having me there. I was always included. I didn't need Bennett to carry me along with them. I was welcomed in. Something I was very new to.

We were there a while. All sitting and talking. I felt a part of it the whole time.

Rainie and Paul left before us. They stopped at our tables saying hello. Everyone said hello back. But Sean was silent.I thought that was strange. He kept his eyes down at the table when they came over. Jonah kidded around with Rainie. Bennett asked Paul if he was going to this show in two weeks.

I always feel bad now comapring Bennett with Dave. But again, with Dave I would have been sittign there beside him. His arm around my waist and him being the center of attention. But nobody here ever was for long. Jonah told stories of ridiculous thigns that have happened to him in the past week. Actually out of everyone Bennett was the center of attention the least. Chase got more attention than him. And somehow this was all normal.

Even for me. This just felt normal. I felt a part of the group, not lagging behind.


A/N: Sorry about my promising of soemthing and never going through with it. It's really hard and annoying and it's hard getting it to fit along with everything. Copy and Paste are all I have been doing. Review Review Review. Prediction?