I Screamed For You

I know what scares you the most

…being alone…

Just like them

Being alive…

Feeling so dead…

At least you'll have my heart

Chapter ? ½: Prove I can't Survive without you…

A/N:

Finished Version WHO READ IT ON MYSPACE?! xDD

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"I got a single silver bullet shot through my heart, to prove I can't survive without you…"

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JPOV

I was paralyzed.

I couldn't do it. I just…

Or could I?

This is what I wanted right? And Alice and me were preventing her from being a vampire tonight anyways. I wanted this. I needed to stop it.

I was having a hard time breathing myself. She stared at me with wide chocolate brown eyes

"Please… I need this…" She pled

I had to give it to her. I had promised long ago I would give her whatever she needed in life and if this was it. Just so she could pretend it was me… I had to do it…

I pressed my lips to hers lightly and pulled her on top of me. touching her bare skin under her shirt, just as I had before her wedding. I was shaking. But not with the wolf in me, it was something else. The cords on my heart were tugging so hard I couldn't breathe correctly. I couldn't think. I just did as my body forced me. I scooped her up and carried her into the bathroom starting the shower and letting it warm up as I kissed her neck softly.

"Jacob… I love you…" she said as I pressed my lips to her collarbone

"I love you too Bella. no matter what."

"Don't go away. Ever. Please… I need you…" I nodded and kissed her perfect pink lips again and stripped her down putting her in the shower and getting in with her. she ran her fingers over my abs and stared into my eyes with her eyes wide with wonder. I leaned against the shower wall and ran my fingers through her damp mahogany hair and pulled her to my lips again it was steamy in the shower. A glint off of something caught my eye and I looked down. There was a razorblade sitting on the soap holder. I tried to force my eyes away but it was beautiful in a sick way to me. Bella saw my gaze and looked over

"You… can have it…" she said trying to be nice

"No…" I said ashamed. I looked down at my wrist with all of its gashes. And then looked back to Bella she put her hands on my chest feeling my heart beating wildly for her

And leaned in kissing me on the neck and moving her lips down to my chest

-She made me shiver internally. I wanted her to touch me more. but the more it happened the more I felt guilty, I knew he loved her and if I was in his position I would be hurt if this happened. I pulled away from her

"Bella… I… I cant do it. If you want me like this you need to chose me. not him I cant stand being second choice, I cant do it. If I was in his postion I would be so hurt…"

Her eyes welled with tears and I wanted to give her everything her heart wanted. But I couldn't make myself do it. My conscious was making it hard for me to do anything. I loved Bella but if I was in his positon this would be crushing.

"I'm sorry bells… I just… I cant… pick me if you want it." I said as I stepped out of the shower

"JAKE! Don't go…" she said brokenly as she sunk to her knees

"I'm sorry baby, I just cant stand for this…" I said as I shoved into my pants and pressed my lips to her cheek I walked out as fast as I could and got in my car starting it. Before I took off I concentrated really hard on my choice to leave so I was sure Alice saw it.

"I'm so sorry Alice…" I talked to myself. I felt stupid but hopefully she would see it

"She cant chose me… so I cant do it… if she chooses me I will, but she wont…" in a sudden movement alice was in my car

"What the HELL?!" she asked

"Ooh… did you see me?"

"Yeah as I was running but I saw this a long time ago. Why are you leaving?"

"I cant be second best to her"

"you aren't."

"Well then she can choose me to prove it"

"Tonight's still happening. I can see it"

"The bite?"

"No. me and you…"

"Jasper too?"

"Yes. Meet me in the woods at 1:00 follow my scent and we will go. Okay?"

Then she was gone. Her flittyness make me annoyed. I growled and started the car pulling out of the drive way and heading home.