Chapter 49
I walked into the kitchen. Scribbling down a note on the counter. 'With Cass, be back soon - Elisa.' My mother didn't seem to be home. Maybe she was asleep still. I came in after her I know. So I figured she was upstairs asleep in her bed. I went into the fridge and poured myself a glass of apple juice. It had barely been opened. One glass I had had last week before going to work. I was sick of coffee by now. I couldn't drink it anymore.
It was almost noon. I looked around our stainless steel kitchen. Seeing my reflection faintly in the refridgerator. It was smudged and faded. I could see my hair dark brown out of everything.
"Elisa?"
I turned. My mother was dressed the same way she had when she left for her work party. She had an empty wine-glass in her hand and her hair was a mess. She had obviously slipped into the house last night and just gone to bed with a quick glass of wine. She was staring at me though. I was a stranger to her. I wasn't her daughter.
"Goodmorning," I said forcing a smile. I put my glass in our sink. Leaving it there when I once would mecanically put it in our dishwasher. "I'm going to hang out with Cass, is that okay?"
My mother was just staring at me. Worse than the people I never knew who would look at me funny. She was looking at my hair. "What happened to your hair?" She asked finally. Her sentence slow. Choppy.
"I dyed it." I said. "Me and Cass did." My voice lost volume drastically.
"You didn't even tell me." She said. She was saying this more for her I think. "Elisa, what's gotten in to you lately? Is it because of Dave cheating on you? I don't even know who you are anymore."
There is always this image in my head of Amber. When my dad left we all stood on the front steps watching him drive away. I looked up at my sister. My mother already turning around and going inside preparing to start her day right where she left off. As if my father leaving was an interruption. And I saw Amber, her eyes just like marbles. Glass and see through. And her mouth a thin line. Seeing someone she loved leaving her behind. I looked at my mother. I never realized how much they looked alike. It was like reliving that moment looking at Amber all over again. Except it was my mother.
"I don't care about Dave anymore." I said quietly. "I'm over him. I've been over him." I swallowed. My eyes were stinging. Not here. I wasn't going to start crying right now. I wasn't going to.
My mother stared at me still. "Why did you stop telling me anything?"
I swallowed. "I didn't want you to know I broke up with Dave because he cheated on me. I don't know why. But with my job and Bennett I just didn't know how you'd handle it."
She nodded. "Do you really like this boy, Bennett?"
I nodded. I felt a smile coming up. "Yes," I said.
"Is he a good kid?" She asked.
I nodded again.
"I don't want to keep being cut out of your life." She said. "I love you. And I never want you to think I don't. I'd like to meet him." I looked at her. She meant this. "Just don't keep trying things liek dying your hair and getting secret jobs and breaking up with your boyfriends behind my bacl. It's hard keeping up anyway."
I smiled a little. "Okay."
The conversation ended there. My mother went over opening the dishwasher and putting her wineglass into the top rack followed by my applejuice glass. "Your hair though," She caught me as I started to walk out. "It looks nice."
I smiled. "Thank you," I said.
And we left the kitchen. The way it was. The silence eating away at the words that had hung in the air for those short moments. And it was like we had never been there. I never wanted to cut my mother out, but she had hated Amber so much when she was like this. She had even hated me. But now I was a new person. Or the beginning of one at least. I drove to Cass' thinking about this. I don't think I was going to be in a hurry to introduce Bennett to my mother. I don't know how she would feel about him.
I went into Cass' house. Her mother sending me into the basement. Her and Miles were talking. The TV on mute. "Hi," I said walking in to the room.
"Hey," They both said. "How was your New Years?" Cass asked me smiling.
"Good," I said. "How was yours?"
She sighed. "We left the party, but we heard the cops showed up a little while later. My mom made me come home to watch the ball drop."
"The times square thing is so overrated." Miles grumbled.
"Miles stayed and watched it too." Cass said. "Complained the whoel time." She was smiling though.
I remembered Rainie talking about how she swore Miles and Cass were dating. I could see it. I knew it would never happen but I saw what she meant. "I went to the IHOP with Bennett and we were there until four in the morning. I talked to Rainie a lot." I sat down on the couch perpendicular to the one Miels and Cass were on.
"Really?" Cass said. "Are you guys good friends now or what?"
"No," I said. "We were just talking about Paul and Bennett." I looekd at the television. "Hey, Full House is on."
Miles looked up suddenly. He's a cucker for this show. He hits the unmute button before Cass can put another word in. She jumps inseatd to the sudden burst of sound. The volume had been cranked up. She reaches over Miles grabbing the clicker quickly and turnign the volume down ten notches. "God," She said. "Why was it so loud?"
Miles takes the clicker back not even noticing. I slide my shoes off and put my feeto n the couch. Pulling my knees tight agaisnt my chest. Twenty years from now, I see Miles and Cass married with a family and everything. It's weird. I just never amitted it before.
A/N: Short. Bennett-less. *sigh* I haven't been busy much. I've just been writing. A lot of notes and stuff for my next project ("Leaving Through The Window"). I'll finish this up though. I think I've got another twenty or more chapters :\ I'm sorry this is so long and dragged out. It'll be done in a flash though. I'm dying to write this one part. Thank you for all of the reviews and everything. I'll update as much as I can this week.
