My Pain is Yours
Chapter 28: Death
"Hidan!"
Startled by the sudden cry, Hidan whipped around, the remainder of his cloak clinging to his body as he did so. Aiko was taking off across the deserted battlefield, sprinting like a madwoman. Hidan clumsily chased after her, stumbling over misplaced rocks. "Aiko! Wait! Where are you going?"
The kunoichi didn't stop; her eyes were bulging with a set, fierce look of determination.
Or maybe it was just the clear sheen of tears magnifying her jade jewels.
Hidan watched as she fell to the ground beside a crumpled figure.
When he got closer, he rationalized Aiko's reaction.
She had found Kakuzu.
Dead.
Stumbling to a halt, Aiko found herself staring with brimming emeralds at the sight of Kakuzu lying on his stomach. Her knees buckled beneath her, gravity yanking her pitilessly to the ground. With trembling hands she reached out to touch his flesh, paled to the point where it was losing its color altogether. As soon as her fingers encountered the cold skin devoid of its ordinarily tan complexion she jerked her hand back.
He's so cold…too cold. The tears were breaking their barriers quickly. He's been left for too long—I don't know if there's anything I can do! Aiko struggled with her tears to summon healing chakra to her shaking hands, throwing them together and placing them over Kakuzu's back, where the masks were torn out, resulting in the remaining threads to hang flaccidly from within his body, sprawled across the ground. Aiko gritted her teeth. This can't be it!
Hidan silently walked over, stopping behind Aiko.
Not daring to say a word, Hidan watched the glow encircling the kunoichi's hand expand and contract, Aiko's hold on the jutsu clearly being influenced by the shock of Kakuzu's state. Minutes passed, transforming into an insurmountable eternity. Kakuzu was beyond help; Hidan could see that, but why couldn't she?
"Aiko," Hidan quietly muttered, dithering on one leg. "He's dead."
Gasping aloud at Hidan's intervention, Aiko shook her head stubbornly, voice cracking, "No! He can't be damn it! No! No! No! No!" She trembled, back bending as audible sobs racked her bowed frame. Aiko wasn't prepared to be told that Kakuzu was dead, she couldn't comprehend the thought; he was so strong, how could anyone overcome him?
This was all just an illusion, or so Aiko hoped.
She poured more chakra into her jutsu, trying in vain to revive the dead.
Hidan sighed, lavender eyes narrowing, voice hardening. "He's dead Aiko! Can't you see that?"
Flinching, filled with sorrow enhanced by mind-breaking bewilderment, Aiko angrily screamed back, "No he isn't, Jashin damn you! Damn you!" Water spilled from her eyes, misery flowing. Why did this have to happen? She cursed herself for not being strong enough, for not being a sufficient kunoichi, an adequate medic nin; she was weak, so weak.
Her emotions were running wild, spirit feral.
Even now, her flushed cheeks were overrun with tears.
Mentally berating herself, Aiko struggled to keep up the jutsu, muscles fatigued from the relentless usage. If she didn't stop, she would put herself into quite a painful position. Hidan could tell that she was going to outdo herself, but he didn't dare tell her that after she yelled at him. She damned him! He took that offense seriously.
"Kakuzu…oh Jashin…Kakuzu…I'm so sorry…so…sorry!"
Hidan breathed in sharply, nose crinkling. Why did he have to love her so much?
Sobbing bitterly, Aiko continued her failing attempts without end until a heavy hand settled upon her shoulder. She shakily tilted her head, eyes red and swollen as she looked mournfully at Hidan, evoking slight irritation from him. Her voice came out thick and choked, "What do you want?" Hidan stiffened, glaring reproachfully at Aiko. She ashamedly lowered her eyes.
This time Hidan spoke, voice a commanding growl. "Get up."
Aiko shook her head desperately, tears uncontrollable. "No!"
Resorting to force, Hidan seized Aiko's shoulders and lifted her onto her feet, forcing her to face him. Alarmed, she began thrashing wildly, strangled accusations meaning nothing to him as she cussed and hissed, terrifyingly disorderly. Hidan never expected to see a kunoichi like Aiko acting in such an uncontrollable manner, and as she flailed her clenched fists, face contorted with agony, he understood why it was she was so lovable.
She was strong.
Strong enough to reject his help or anyone else's assistance, though the way in which she did so took away from her attractiveness. But it didn't make a difference to Hidan. He would tame her and bring her to terms with herself. Her strength would eventually become her weakness, leaving her vulnerable, and Hidan knew her well enough to know that she hated being defenseless. He easily snatched her fists and backed her against a tree, trapping her.
Aiko struggled futilely, throwing herself around. "Let me go!"
Her breath slapped against Hidan's face with the force of a tempestuous storm, heated and compelling as he leaned in towards her. She tore her head the other way, slamming her eyes shut, lips forming a wavering line. Aiko refused to look at him, refused to speak to him.
But Hidan wouldn't have that.
Roughly shoving one of her wrists into the possession of his opposite hand, Hidan clutched her face, thumbing away the tears. Aiko peeked out at him, eyes flaunting her desire to be left alone as her chest heaved, mouth cracking open as Hidan pressed his body against hers. He loosened his grip, murmuring, "Aiko, you're a Jashinist; these things are meant to happen."
Aiko tensed, trying to build another wall to halt her impending tirade of tears.
Hidan continued, tenor cold despite the meaning supporting it. "You chose me, Aiko. You chose to become a Jashinist. This is what I meant by immortality isn't all it's cracked up to be. Everyone except us dies." The harshness of the validated truth struck Aiko like a blow to her stomach, nausea rising within her. Hidan snorted. "And it feels like shit."
Aiko hiccupped, voice emerging, soft and serene. "I know…"
Hearing the usual gentleness Aiko portrayed when speaking, Hidan relaxed only to find Aiko flinging her arms around his neck, latching tightly onto him. He was at a loss for words before casually holding her in return, burying his nose in her hair. She trembled, shaking in his arms as she cried against his firm chest, distress breaching what remained of her decimated obstructions. Hidan closed his eyes and thanked Jashin that of all the people he would be forced to eventually part with that Aiko was never going to be one of them.
"I love you," Aiko whispered against Hidan's smooth skin, heavily lidded eyes straining to stay open with weariness. "I love you so, so much."
Hidan hesitated. "What do you want to do now?"
Aiko sniffled, shaking her head. "I don't know…what do we do?"
The silver-haired chauvinist held his tongue for another moment. "The Akatsuki is going to think we're dead, you know. Zetsu probably already came here and surveyed the destruction; we weren't around so he probably took us for dead too."
Aiko nodded gravely, pulling away to analyze her surroundings.
All she saw was hell. From the blood splattered chaotically across the broken branches of the gnarled trees, to the gouges impairing the earth, all that was to be said for such an atrocity was the place where all evil is said to reside. Aiko could tell that such a place would forever be altered with the presence of malignance, cursed to bear scars that would never heal.
When her gaze settled upon Kakuzu, it took everything she had not to shatter.
She could still hear his rough voice barking level growls of demands.
"We need to go back into that place where you came from and kill anyone who saw you and your friend leave," Kakuzu grumbled. "Now get moving!" Aiko bit her lip.
"But it's in the middle of the night!" Aiko argued.
"I said get moving!" Kakuzu shouted.
Whether she was on a mission with Hidan and Kakuzu or not, Kakuzu was always the same. Ruthless, merciless; but not heartless. Even if his actions were performed subconsciously, he often said things to mask his emotions; otherwise, he would have abandoned his comrades long ago. Aiko still remembered the time when Hidan disappeared, resulting in an unprecedented encounter with one of the Biju.
Kakuzu crashed through the trees, muttering swears beneath his breath and cursing Hidan as he went. Aiko followed, worried for Hidan as Kakuzu continually repeated that he would kill the bastard when they caught him. Aiko had never seen someone so angry and was almost afraid.
No, she was terrified.
"K-Kakuzu?" Aiko murmured.
"Didn't I tell you to shut up already?" Kakuzu snapped.
Aiko recoiled as Kakuzu rounded on her. He glared with hatred towards her and anyone else who dared get near him at that current moment. Aiko took a cautious step backwards, eyes flashing as her hand instinctively lowered itself to her thigh where her holster was.
"Don't you dare attack me," Aiko hissed, controlling her own rage.
"Look," Kakuzu tried to restrain himself. "Just stay away from me and no harm will come to you; understand?"
Kakuzu frightened Aiko at times, she wouldn't and couldn't deny that; but he was never really the bad guy. He always came through to protect her and Hidan, watching out for them like a parent; like the father Aiko never had, or perhaps, like the older brother she lost.
Aiko released a startled cry.
Debris flew into both Aiko and Kakuzu's faces; dust was kicked up and hurled at them along with rocks and twigs. The two Akatsuki ninja leapt away from each other to avoid an uprooted tree and Kakuzu landed farther away from Aiko than he had anticipated.
Shit.
"Aiko!" Kakuzu roared. Where is she?! He then noticed the figure darting to his side.
"I'm okay," Aiko murmured, landing beside Kakuzu. "Nothing hit me."
"Good," Kakuzu gruffly replied. "Now where's that religious idiot?"
They were a team, a family; sure, they were dysfunctional and often violent with one another, but that was the beauty of their relationship. It was simple. Their emotions, the way they interacted with each other; everything was so basic. It didn't have to be complex and caring, though there were times when Aiko didn't understand what was going on.
Silently, she remembered the only scene she ever shared alone with Kakuzu in which he wasn't warning her against himself. Her mind rewound a day or so, showing her Kakuzu the way she last remembered him, strong and prepared to annihilate those who opposed him.
"Don't," Kakuzu snarled. "I'm fine; I can handle this on my own."
Aiko winced, teeth catching her lower lip. "But…but Kakuzu!"
Angrily, Kakuzu roared, "Just go!" This time Aiko heeded his word, knowing that she wasn't getting anywhere. But just as she was taking off, Kakuzu spoke one last time. "Listen," he growled in a soft monotone, "I don't care what the hell you do, just hurry up and bring that immortal bastard back so I can kill him."
The tears were returning in raids, threatening to topple her barricades.
"And don't forget to bring yourself back; I think I've gotten used to having you around—even your annoying ass of a boyfriend." A wavering smile pressed against Aiko's lips, making her eyes water; she didn't dare turn around. Kakuzu snorted. "Everything will be all right, stop getting so upset; you're a fine kunoichi despite your love interest."
Now the tears flowed freely again.
A whisper escaped her lips. "Let's not return to the Akatsuki."
Blinking, Hidan immediately questioned her. "What?" He chanced a glance at her to find her distraughtly examining the battlefield with a hard gaze. He could see from the reflected tears in her eyes that she knew everyone would be better off if they didn't have to witness such a scene; that she would be better off if she never saw such an incident repeated.
Pressing the palms of her hands against her eyes, rolling them around to her knuckles, Aiko couldn't help but to cry. Hidan placed a steady hand on her back, allowing it to drop to her waist as he escorted her away, leaving Kakuzu behind until he was a mere memory.
Good-bye Kakuzu.
The next day, his corpse would be gone.
Back in Amegakure, Pain had called a meeting of the members, wishing to speak to them all regarding some troubling news. He and Konan arrived first with Zetsu, promptly joined by Deidara and Tobi, and then Itachi, Kisame, and Shinsei. The colossal hands were absent from this meeting spot, it was one for discussion.
Immediately, Itachi was on guard, wondering what happened. He touched Shinsei's hand as the redhead glanced around, searching for Aiko. Itachi and Kisame almost didn't take her this time because they didn't want her to have to sit through just a bunch of useless talking, but she was eventually successful in getting to go along for the ride. When Pain stepped forward to begin their conversation, however, Itachi wondered why they weren't waiting for the others.
Specifically Aiko, Hidan, and Kakuzu.
Pain sighed heavily, not meeting Konan's bewildered gaze as she had not been told anything yet either. "I suppose you're wondering why I've called you all together like this."
Deidara interrupted, folding his arms. "Where are Aiko, Hidan, and Kakuzu, hmm?"
The orange-haired man paused, speaking in such a low, desolate monotone that the way it echoed sent reverberating shivers throughout everyone's bodies, "They are the reason why we are gathered here right now." Gasps went around the room. Shinsei squeezed Itachi's hand tightly. Kisame grunted to cover his startled inhale. Deidara's ice-blue eyes flew open.
Konan's heart skipped a beat. What? Oh no! He couldn't mean…no!
Everything was suddenly painfully clear to Konan, realizing what it had to be that Pain was getting at; she didn't have to ask as Pain continued, making the announcement that would inevitably lead to a restless night on all their parts, "Aiko, Hidan, and Kakuzu are dead."
Silence.
No one spoke.
Shinsei was rigid. Mechanically, slowly, she turned her sapphires upon Itachi, staring up at him with a look that he had never seen before. She hastily turned back around however, when there was a limp thud behind them, Konan losing her footing and nearly passing out as Pain caught her, steadying her before she burst into tears. Shinsei turned back around, completely dazed as tears bloomed in the corner of her eyes.
The redhead struggled to speak. "She's…gone…?"
Behind her, Konan wept loudly, crying desperately into Pain and screaming muffled sobs that were as audible as they were incomprehensible. How could this have happened to Aiko, her sister? She was so sweet, so strong, so alive; why? Why did she have to die? The blue-haired woman couldn't stand it; this was why she didn't want Aiko to join the Akatsuki.
This was why she would've abandoned her ten of thousands of times over again.
To keep her safe.
Listening to Konan's agonized cries, Shinsei soon found her own overwhelming herself, clinging to Itachi as tears slipped from her eyes in large, magnifying beads. Aiko was dead. Somehow, Shinsei never imagined such a thing could happen. Death and Aiko didn't belong in the same thought; couldn't. Her breathing grew heavier with each profound thought.
"Aiko…Aiko…Aiko…" Shinsei repeated, breaking off. "Why…why…?"
Seeking Itachi's embrace, Shinsei collapsed in his arms and broke down. Tears flooded from her eyes, cascading down her cheeks as she cried loudly, perhaps overtaking Konan's sobs behind her. Aiko was more precious to her than anything else; she was the person she saw herself with at any time of the day, the person who would pick her up when she had fallen down, the person who would protect her from the world; her best friend.
When they had met, Aiko took her in regardless of her background, of her miseries that haunted her; Aiko possessed her own demons, but she kept them secured in a vault forged by hard, callous emotions that Shinsei would never understand. She didn't want to understand. Both of them lived through their own hells and came together.
As the tears fell from her eyes, the memories pieced together.
"Can I really stay with you?" Shinsei glanced around the hotel Aiko had rented.
Aiko nodded vigorously, "Of course! That's why I brought you here, silly! So," Aiko paused, flipping her hair over her shoulder as she settled down on the bed, inviting Shinsei over, "why were you all by yourself when I found you?" Shinsei flinched, droplets of water accumulating in her eyes. Aiko smiled gently. "Sorry; you don't have to tell me now."
Gathering Shinsei in a heartwarming hug, Aiko pulled her against herself, saying words of comfort that made Shinsei feel safe and secure inside. Aiko was so kind. The little redhead could feel more tears pushing past her eyes as she cried against Aiko, who welcomed her sadness with condolence, soothing her effortlessly.
"Hey, don't be so sad," Aiko grinned, winking. "I'm here and I'll help you when you need it."
Shinsei sniffled, eyes wide. "R-really?"
"Of course!" Aiko hugged her tighter. "How could I not? You're so cute! I want you to smile!"
Just hearing Aiko say that made a beam split across Shinsei's lips.
Now, she wasn't going to be able to hear that anymore. Shinsei cried harder.
Aiko was more than just a friend, more than a sister; she was that one person Shinsei could open up to at any time of the day and be all right with talking to. But the feeling that she could no longer call her name and instantly receive a smiling response saddened her. When she thought about how she was never going to be able to hold Aiko or talk to her anymore, made her feel very, very empty.
Their continual separations only made it harder, made her wish that she had just one more day with Aiko to repeat everything that they had ever done together, good or bad. She wanted just one more hour to say goodbye, maybe even a second chance to start everything over. It didn't matter how much time, even a second to hold her hand again, or to see her smile.
Anything was better than nothing.
Sobbing harder, Shinsei easily remembered those times when Aiko could have gotten mad at her, should have gotten upset. Like when she made that promise to Itachi to join the Akatsuki and Aiko still honored her decision, all the while keeping her even temper.
"Um, Aiko?"
"Yeah?"
"You aren't mad at me, right?"
"Of course not."
Aiko shifted around, turning onto her side. She let out a sigh. At least this bed didn't creak like the one at that cheap hotel. Aiko tucked her arm underneath her pillow, still trying to get comfortable. She yawned, muscles relaxing. Her eyes were closing, nearly shut.
"Aiko?"
"Mmm?" Aiko mumbled softly, interrupted.
"We're still friends…right?"
Aiko paused before answering and murmured, "Forever and ever."
This just made her passing harder. Why couldn't Aiko have ever gotten mad at her? Why was it that Aiko never rejected her, never berated her? Shinsei knew the answer; it was because Aiko loved her. That soft-smiling brunette hated to see Shinsei sad and just wanted her to keep smiling, to keep her spirits up.
Even when Shinsei tried to coax at least an admittance that would certainly be a lie that she was more trouble than she was worth, Aiko would answer with a true denial. Clandestine and reserved, Aiko refused to say that Shinsei was ever troublesome, making it perfectly clear that she loved Shinsei no matter who she was or who she became.
It went both ways.
"Aiko!" Shinsei sobbed her name again. "I'm sorry…I'm sorry for being such a burden!"
Breath seizing, Aiko clenched her fists, keeping her tears in check. "You were never a burden," Aiko quietly replied, unhooking her hands gently and taking a step out of Shinsei's reach, heart pleading with her to cease the pain by lingering.
But Aiko couldn't, she had to discharge Shinsei from herself; it was the selfless thing to do.
Though, the agony she bore to conceal her sadness was crippling. She couldn't begin to see a world without Shinsei in it; she couldn't even envision creating a smile without Shinsei being the reason for it. This was a good-bye meant to break her. Aiko struggled to choke out the barely audible words, "You and I will be best friends; forever. Trust me."
Aiko smiled brightly, that smile shattering Shinsei's heart.
At this point, Shinsei would have loved to have seen that heartbreaking smile repeatedly.
This was too much, too damn much! Shinsei couldn't stop the upsurge of memories, the deluge of tears. Her memories were becoming slightly hazy, Aiko's voice was becoming distant, her small laugh nearly inaudible. What was happening? Even the clearest, closest memories were foreign to her.
She tried to remember the last time she had spoken to Aiko. It had to have been before she left when they last met, during the sealing. Shinsei sobbed bitterly. Why couldn't she ever stop herself from displaying her emotions so clearly? Why was Aiko always the one hiding her feelings? Shinsei squeezed her eyes shut, wanting to see the memory, wanting to see Aiko.
Just before she vanished, Aiko smiled that smile of hers and murmured, "Where's my goodbye smile? Come now, don't I deserve more than that?" Aiko touched Hidan's arm, preparing to leave. Shinsei's heart was pounding so hard in her chest that she could hear it throbbing in her ears, face flushing with inconsolable trepidation.
"Aiko…?" Shinsei whispered.
The medic nin remained tranquil. "Just you wait, when we see each other again we'll have plenty of time to talk; after all, there's only one person that I could possibly imagine wanting to see after everything that's going on it over," she smiled wryly, "and that's you, Shinsei."
Seeing these memories was a double-edged sword; the past and present blended painfully, sharply, evoking all the sorrow Shinsei could conjure and hurling her into a nightmare that she couldn't get away from. She almost couldn't feel Itachi anymore, couldn't see past the tears blemishing her eyes. Sorrow raged unbound from the confinement of her heart.
Aiko was gone.
No one could change that.
It was this painful apprehension that made her saddest.
"Come on," Hidan ushered Aiko into their hotel room from the previous nights.
Aiko sat down on the bed, eyes unblinking. She held Kakuzu's briefcase in her lap, an item she found located beneath his bed. It looked so lonely without Kakuzu carrying it. Hidan strode in and out of the room, keeping an eye on Aiko as he did so. He went out to the small kitchen and brought back tea for Aiko, who was looking paler than usual, but she didn't touch it.
The hollow smile she gave him upon receiving her tea rendered him speechless.
"Thank you," Aiko whispered, setting it aside, "but I'm not thirsty."
"You need to drink something."
"I'm okay."
"No you aren't."
Aiko stood abruptly, eyes watering. "I'm sleeping in the other room tonight."
Before Hidan could ask, she left the room, going into the one formerly belonging temporarily to Kakuzu. He noticed that she had taken the briefcase with her and sighed, flopping onto his bed and eradicating the lights. He stayed awake, waiting for her for hours. When she finally returned, it was midnight, dark and portentous.
The door creaked open, Aiko's dark silhouette in the doorway.
She walked towards Hidan, voice quiet, "Can I stay with you instead?"
"Yeah."
"Thanks."
Joining Hidan in bed, Aiko lay beside him. He took her in his arms, touching her forehead lightly with his lips. As he held her, he frowned. "You still have your cloak?" She nodded, unable to speak because her throat was so sore. Hidan sighed. "Mine too." Then, Hidan sat up, allowing the blankets to pool around his waist as he removed what was left of his cloak.
Aiko sat up as well and began undoing the buttons on her red-clouded cloak.
She forlornly whispered, "We are no longer members of the Akatsuki."
Casting her cloak aside, Aiko remained sitting upright as she held her hand. Hidan looked at her, following her gaze to the ring on her finger. He touched his own band, quietly slipping it off and glancing back to Aiko. She was just staring at hers. He caressed her cheek lightly, making her turn to him. He gazed seriously into her eyes with his intense amethyst orbs.
Aiko's eyes flitted back down to her hand and she quietly removed the ring.
Now they were not Akatsuki members.
Just Aiko and Hidan.
It was bittersweet. Falling against Hidan, Aiko sought his lips for comfort, sharing a warm, wet kiss that made the tears prodding at her eyes hotter as they slid down her cheeks. Together, they melted underneath the sheets and held tight to each other, Aiko kissing Hidan urgently. She sensed that he too was beginning to miss Kakuzu as they embraced.
"I love you Hidan," Aiko closed her teary eyes. "I just want to be with you."
Hidan kissed the top of her head as Aiko drifted off to sleep. "I'll be here all night."
Author's Note: This was the saddest chapter I have ever written for this story. Dear Jashin, I almost cried during certain parts, seriously. This was intensely sad. There are only so many more chapters left too, which makes me feel a little lonely inside because I've been working on this story for so long.
Thank you to all of you guys though, especially, for reading.
Otherwise, I probably wouldn't have written this far into the story.
I owe my reviewers thanks as well; thank you to cheeky half-demon (my wonderful, loyal reviewer who I treasure very much for her kind input), yoyshaia-chan (I'm telling you, if you haven't read her story Study in Contrasts, you're missing something awesome!), Nutella's Biggest Fan (thank you so much for your advice, it's been extremely helpful), and iLoveThisStory (you make me smile with all of your lovely reviews!).
Thank you to Hurog Walker (so much gratitude goes out to you for your constant support in so many of my stories!), Mel's Wacky Mind (thank you so much, as always, I love reading your reviews because they're always so friendly!), mirambagirl1993 (you have been so supportive of both this story and A Detonating Dance—thank you, thank you, thank you), Kakashi Forever (thanks so very much!), and Iced Phoenix54 (What would I do without your constant presence in reviews in so many of my stories?).
And of course, thank you to Cold Fyre (Hearing from you is always wonderful because you're so dedicated to reading this story!), XxAkatsukixFanxX (you're amazing, I can't believe how many of my stories you've read!) and darkeymousey (Welcome to My Pain is Yours, and thank you so much for your kind comment!)!
See you all next time, please review!
-Aiko of the Akatsuki
