INFORMATION: Also this one is the first actual full telling story instead of detailed as I normally do for this fan fiction. Actually I will pick the summon for free. It's someone.
Character: Maleficent
Job: Prostitute
Pay: 50 since she wants to go all the way.
buys: male enhancer
pete: He`ll live, since she`ll fall asleep after it`s over.
rating: M make it as muture as possible, enough that I can actually see it.
Don`t judge me.
Pete walked out of house with no coffee, but a pack of man pills (-$20) ($60 left). He ate them up will walking to Sonic's house. "Hello? Shonic?" Greeted Pete. Sonic then opened the door as he said hello. "I have another one of these." Pete handed the note to Sonic as he began to read it. Once he was done he handed the note back as he was laughing.
"Well you have to be a..a....BITCH!!!LOL!!!!A MAN BITCH!!!!" Sonic yelled in laughter. Pete got butt hurt. "You get to have $50 dollars and bang Maleficent...too bad she is lesbian. Oh well, now 'Blow' European Slut!!!" Sonic fell to the floor as Pete just stared at him with the stink eye. All of a sudden, karma struck. A woman in a high tech jump suit and a paralyzing gun came and shot Sonic. "P-P-PE-PE-PET-PETE!!! H-H-HELL-PA-MEEEEE!!!!" Sonic screamed.
"Oh, me?" Pete answered with anger, "Oh, Im sorry, I am a dirty shlut bag...Oh wait, from Euterpe." Pete walked away. Sonic turned around to see Samus in her Zero Suit.
"What do you want?" Sonic asked, he could not run away because she shot his feet with a super blast.
"Oh you'll like it...or not...I don't care, I will." She answered. RAPE!!! Sonic tried to scream for help, but she closed the door. And lock it.
Pete then realized something...she is dead. So he need to make a list of what to do.
WHAT TO DO:
Find a person who can bring the dead back to life
Find Maleficent's grave
Bring her back to life
Then bang
He went to go see one person who could...Poe, AKA, KUNG FU PANDA!!! So he need to hi jack a plane. He was currently 10 miles away from the airport, and he lives in Twilight Town. So he went to the usual place to maybe find a couple of supplies, because SOMEPEOPLE won't buy Pete some weapons. So he looked for fast transportation. So he found a skateboard and got on, ready to ride. He then pushed his left foot as his right one was on the board. But unfortunately, due to his own lack of balance, fell face first. He then got up. He cried as he ran to the sandlot. He was still sniffling when he heard three people behind him. Laughing. At him. "Yo Seifer look at the fat ass over there, yeah know?" Said Rai. Seifer did not seem amused though.
"Yo, bitch?" Seifer said to Pete, Pete look at him. "We don't accept the fat and the shitty. Well, I still don't know how the fuck Pence is still here. But anyways, best be going out of our turf."
"Hey fuck face, I live here and I need to go to somewhere else, okay? And besides, it's not like I enjoy being here in the asshole's turf." Pete come backed.
"Hey fat ass, Seifer is going to kick your ass unless you take that back bitch." Fuu told off Pete. Seifer then pulled his dick shaped weapon out, something is not even that good at killing. But then he got a red one, the red bat. Pete knows what he want, the Struggle of Death. A match that is a fight to the death. He then watch as the red bat went from foam to metal with four sharp ends.
"Prepare to get fucked up bitch." Seifer insulted.
"But whoa! It's just a fight we had! No need for death!" Pete cried out.
"You never insult Seifer on his birthday! Ya know?" Rai answered. "Here" Rai said while throwing three bats on the floor. One red with a shape as a sword. "That's the Flex blade, best offense, sucky ass defense, and medium magic." Pete then scrolled over to the other ones. The next one was a Green one with a blunt club shape, made of mythil and orchard, with a handle that you put your arm in with armor around it,so it protects most of your arm. "That's the Bottle Death, best defense, sucky ass mother fucking attack, and a good magic power." Pete then looked at the other one, a dark blue color blade with a star on the top, thin around and a short handle, actually the whole thing was shorter then the rest. "That's the Emporium, the best at magic attacks, good offense, and horrible fucking defense." Rai said then took a sigh. "Just hurry the fuck up, ya know? Seifer wants to hurry up and fuck your ass up, ya know?" Pete then grabbed the Flex Blade. "Alright then, fight!"(You may want to hear a metal song like Almost Easy by Avenged Sevenfold) Pete rushed in with sword up and a quick slash to Seifer's chest. Seifer fell back as he saw a slash in his chest. He gritted his teeth as he did a frontward spin while in the air to Pete's face. Pete managed to save himself as he block the attack. Seifer then fell to the floor and sprain his arm. He got up in pain as he stabbed Pete's arm. Pete cried in pain as he fell to the ground in blood. Pete then grabbed his sword and stabbed as hard as he can into Seifer's leg. Seifer coughed up blood as he fell straight to the floor. Pete moaned as he got up and dragged Seifer to one of the benches and slammed Seifer's face so hard against the seat that the bench broke and splintered in Seifer's face. Pete then grabbed Seifer one more time and threw him up as he held the Flex blade up. SLTIH. Seifer went through the blade as he slowly felt agony gripping at his body. Fuck, he was bleeding all over. He closed his eyes as the world started to blur. Seifer has died. "You killed him...YOU FUCKER DIE!!!!" Rai grabbed the Bottle Death as Fuu ran and grabbed the Emporium. Rai swung it at Pete, but Pete dodged as he healed himself, the only spell that is healing that is in the sword. His wounded started to heal. He then did kick Rai away as he saw a fire ball coming after him. Pete ran and threw Rai towards to fireball. Rai screamed as he was set a blaze. He fell to his knees as he was burnt alive, Rai was dead. Fuu cried and screamed like a mad woman.
"FUCK YOU!!!!" She screamed as she stabbed herself and she fell to the ground, dead. Pete got up and grabbed all three of there wallets, (+$30) ($90). He then walked to the usual spot where he can get the supplies. While he was walking there he saw three friends talking of a new flavor of ice cream, super salty ice cream. One of them mentioned that it was so salty, a kid died as a hole in his jugular began to open. Pete ignored this and snuck into the hang out. He went inside and look in the box where it said supplies at. He founded 10 potions, a pistol, a mini sword, and a magic scroll. He took all of them and head off to the airport. He first went to train station where he went on a train to the airport. Soon he has arrived at the sun station he notice something...different. He notice instead of mere twilight, he say nothing but dark clouds. Swirling clouds. So he then saw a bolt of lighting strike the ground. When the light cleared up, he saw Fuu. But she was in the shape of a heartless. She then turned into a demonic heartless with long arms with claws, her mouth opened so far it reached her solarplex (were your ribs split) she then had legs that were fast as a spiriting rabbit. She screamed and ran towards Pete. Pete grabbed the pistol and shot her three time. The heartless then fell to the ground in pain, then got back up and screamed again. It was close enough to slap Pete with her claws, Pete went flying so far, he almost fell of the station and into the downtown area. He then shot all of the bullets at it. Soon the heartless began to go hostile, it shot out it's tongue and wrapped it around Pete's leg. It started to drag Pete near and nearer her mouth. Pete reacted fast, he pulled out the mini sword and the magic scroll and fused them both. He then grabbed the magic sword and sliced the tongue of and threw the sword into the mouth. The heartless fell to the ground, screaming in pain as it started to disintegrate. All was left was the magical sword. Pete grabbed the sword and kept it for later. He entered and paid for a ticket to the airport (-$20) ($70) and entered trolley number one. He entered and he was alone, he closed his eyes and fell asleep on the bench.
When he was awaken he got up and walk to the airport. Since he could not afford a ticket, he was going to steal a airplane, or the gummi ship. So he snuck into a gummi when nobody was looking and flew off. He put it on maximum overdrive. In three seconds he was at the only Asian invasion place in the galaxy, The Land Of The Dragon. Once he landed there, there were eight guards waiting for him. So he got off to see what was the fucking matter."What seems to be the be the fucking matter, bitches?" Pete asked. All the guards gasped in remark. Pete did not understand why they were mumbling among themselves. Finally, two people came out, one that look like a leader, the other some hentai bitch.
"You dare bring shame to this lands? You must suffer for this!" Said Mulan. Pete then grabbed his sword out but was shot with a arrow. Pete then went to floor, then saw a fat figure, then everything went black.
"Hey,dude...you awake yet bro?" Pete opened his eyes slowly, he looked around to find that all of the guards were dead and so were Mr. and Mrs. Bitch. Pete went answer when he saw Poe, the master of Fat ass Fu.
"Is that really you? Poe?" Pete asked slowly.
"Uh yeah bud, why? Who are you?" Poe asked. Pete then explained his story about how he needs to bring Maleficent back to life, leaving out the part were he fucks her. "Who, so in able to save your world, you need her to come back and help the world? Alright I'll help ya." So Pete then went back with Poe in the gummi ship to leave.
"So do you know how to bring her back to life?" Pete asked while siting down.
"Well duh! Of course that weird guy in Halloween Town. He brought Hitler back to life. Then killed him. So let's go!" Pete then did a hyper jump to the destination. Once they landed they got out and went to the lab. They arrived there to see the Doctor creating a formula. "What sup doc?"
"What do you kids want!? I am very busy!" Screamed the Doctor.
"Hey, me and my friend want you to bring a woman back to life. So can you?" Asked Pete. The Doctor stood still and thought.
"Sure, but first give me the remains and a heart." Explained the Doctor. So Pete and Poe went back to the town central were they went to the graveyard.
"Dude, this place is fucked up all over." Poe mumbled as he saw dead people all over. Pete ran towards Maleficent's grave as he took the ashes and ran back to the lab. While they were on their way, Poe stopped and pulled out the Fish man's heart. They both arrived without a moment to pass. "We got...the.................................................................heart and ashes........." Poe then fell back exhausted. Pete gave them to the Doctor. He immediately threw them in a pot and boiled it. Soon Maleficent came out. Pete was about to fuck her but then, DUN DUN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She had a spontaneous combustion. She then never existed.
"OH FUCK MAN!!! YOUR WORLD IS IN DEEP SHIT!!!" Poe screamed. But then Pete told the truth and Poe nodded. "You fucking liar, but still, it was for a reason...I think." They then went out of the lab and saw 30 zombies walking in the central town square. Pete then pulled out his magical sword as Poe pulled out the Blade Of Heroes. Pete rushed up to one a slashed of it's head. (Once again listen to hard core music). Poe grabbed the Blade Of Heroes and threw it and thus killing 10 zombies. Pete grabbed his sword and slashed off three zombie heads. Poe grabbed the Blade and did a circular spin and killed 6 zombies. Then Pete and Poe went back to back and did a spin while holing up their weapons and killed all the rest of the zombies. Then the demon came out of the ground holding a microphone...LADY GAGA. "Wait, you did this? But why?" Poe asked. Lady Gaga just laughed.
"All of the people know that am a man and a woman, so I summon these zombies to kill everyone here!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Lady Gaga laughed evilly.
"Wait aren't half these people are undead?" Pete stated. Lady Gaga just look to the floor.
"Oh Fuck you!" She the jump on a platform and she started to sing. Just then she summoned 40 swords flying all around the central town, the exits were blocked. "JUST DANCE, BITCHES!!! IT'S NOT GOING TO BE OKAY!!!!" She screamed in humor.
"Dude, you really are a fucked up chick, or dude, or whatever!" Poe screamed as he dodged the blade. Pete then shot out a fireball towards Lady Gaga, she fell to the floor and got back up. She started to sing Poker Face, all of a sudden cards flew everywhere, why? Cause she also summon Luxord, so it's Poker Face FT Luxord. Pete tried to jump, but was hit in the gut with a card. All of his air was fucked out of him. Poe started to jump on each card, once he was on top he threw the Blade Of Heroes at Luxord. SLITH.
"Why the hell am I here?" Luxord asked as he fell into the fountain with corrosive acid. He died. Lady Gaga then sang her last song, The Fame Monster. She started to sing while she turned into a demon that look like Fuu's heartless, but only more annoying as hell.
"Get ready to die! BITCH AND FAT ASS MOTHER COCK SUCKERS!!!!" She screamed as she lunged toward Poe, he was tackled and sent flying towards to lab, and fell on the ground. Pete tried to shot a fireball, but The Fame Monster ate it and was fucking pissed. So Pete ran toward it a slashed it's middle. The Monster fell to the ground, then got up while kicking Pete, and he was sent to the ground. The Monster grabbed Pete and put it over her mouth, Pete was going to be shitted out later. But the, Poe ran towards her and sliced her arms off, she screamed in pain as she headbutt Pete away. Poe ran for a seconded attack, but has electrocuted as The Fame Monster had heat ray eyes. She laughed in pleasure. Pete got up and slashed her legs off. The Fame Monster was now a head and body, Poe then did a legendary move to finish her off, the SIT OF DOOM!!!! Poe did a super jump, then a butt smash to her face,
"Skidush." Poe said as he felt skull underneath his ass. Once they got up, they saw a massacre of blood everywhere, then they got on the ship and left. New destination was Twilight Town. So on the ship Poe asked Pete if he can live with him,due to The Land Of The Dragons was now becoming Communist. So Pete agreed and so they went home and collected 50 dollars. SHOP UPDATED.
POE JOINED THE STORY
THE END
