Fault and Blame
Where am I? Freddie asked himself. One minute he was looking at Sam, knowing it was for the last time and now he was spinning. He hit the ground hard. Grunting he pushed himself up. He was still in the black room. Where's Sam? He wondered.
GONE the Darkness whispered. Freddie turned frantically.
"What do you mean gone...I swapped...You said if I swapped then you would let Sam go." He cried. No Sam wasn't dead, she couldn't be.
"WHERE IS SHE!" He yelled.
I told you...she's gone. Freddie broke down. And now you have to live without her It mocked him.
"no...no.. NO!" He screamed at the nothingness around him. "I won't wake up...You can't make me...I won't be without her...I can't..."
Pain and grief took him. His stomach was in knots, and his chest was constricting making it hard to breathe and his heart... his heart felt as if someone had taken it and stabbed it and was now dancing on it for good measure. He felt dead.
"He's back..." yelled one of the nurses at Doctor Stevens.
"Ok let's get this bleeding under control..." Thank god! He thought to himself. He was aware how the boy got injured, climbing down a cliff to save the girl he loved. He had to live.
Sam had tears rolling down her face but she wasn't sobbing. She just sat there in her chair and let them fall. She was numb. She couldn't feel anything. Mel and Carly watched her. Mel was still angry that Mrs. Benson had blamed her sister for Freddie's injuries. Carly was still in shock. She had never seen Mrs. Benson look so scared and angry at the same time. They stopped and sat on a bench pulling Sam in front of them. They were quiet for a moment. Then Sam spoke.
"She's right" she whispered. "It is my fault he's here"
"Sam..." Carly sighed apologetically. "This is not your fault..." Mel continued. "Don't you dare blame yourself for this."
"Yes, I will. Because I was stupid and jealous and I ran off..."
"You were upset...No one blames you..." Sam cut across her. "Mrs. Benson does" she yelled.
"Sam...she's upset and worried...She didn't mean any of it..."
"She did...I know it and so do you guys...Everything is my fault." She cried.
"Sam...Stop blaming yourself. You're going to have another attack....Breathe...Freddie is going to be fine...the last thing he would want is you hurting yourself."
"He's never going to want to see me again." Sam couldn't help it. She knew this was entirely her fault.
"I'm the reason we were at that stupid festival... I'm the reason Lauren went after him, to hurt me and she hurt him... I'm the reason he came down that cliff and hurt himself... I'm the reason he's here...So YES IT'S MY FAULT!" She screamed.
"Sam calm down...And of course Freddie will want to see you again...he loves you"
"No he doesn't...Why would he...He hates me and he's never going to want to see me again when he wakes up...If he wakes up!...I'm better off dead"
"SAM!" Carly yelled.
Mel reached out for her but she pulled away. "Can you take me to my room?" she asked.
"Don't you want to wait for Freddie?" Carly asked. Sam shook her head. "He doesn't want me there...Please Mel!" Mel nodded and stood. They went through the doors but instead of going straight Sam and Mel turned to the elevators. "I'll tell your mom" Carly said as the doors closed. Sam didn't even look up.
Carly walked up to Spencer. "Hey, where's Mel and Sam?" he asked. Sara stood and went over to them.
"Mel brought her to her room. Sam's taking Mrs. Bensons words to heart. She really believes this is her fault. She thinks Freddie will never want to see her again. Spencer, I don't know what to do" Spencer put his arms around her.
"Thanks Carly. I'm going to see the girls. Let me know if there is any news." She said, rubbing Carly's arm and leaving. Spencer and Carly sat down across from Mrs. Benson. She looked like she hadn't moved since they left. They sat there for maybe 20 minutes when a doctor came out. "eh...Freddie Benson?" he called.
Marissa's head shot up. "Yes? I'm his mother. Where is he?"
"Please Mrs. Benson sit down." She obeyed and sat Spencer and Carly leaning into listen.
"Well first off, he's out of surgery. He had a rupture spleen. He probably got that in the fall. When we opened him up we realised that we would have to remove it. Everything went fine until the end..." Carly was holding Spencer's hand. He was just as worried. Mrs. Benson was shaking.
"He started haemorrhaging...Bleeding into his stomach. He was down for awhile but we managed to get him back. Unfortunately we don't know if there is any lasting damage. We will need to wait until he wakes up. He's currently in recovery."
"When will he wake?" Mrs. Benson asked. The doctor pulled a face.
"When we tried to wake him he wouldn't. He's in a sort of comatose state."
"When can I see him?" she asked. "Soon. I'll come and get you" and he left.
She returned to her silent vigil. Spencer turned to Carly. "So Sam's taking it hard huh?"
"Yea, we tried to tell her but she's adamant, she truly believes this is her fault. She's not even going to come see him. She said she was better off dead"
"That's true." Carly threw Mrs. Benson a death stare.
"Sam didn't want this to happen. It's not her fault."
"It is. Stupid girl. Running into the woods at night. If she had just thought for a minute and used that thick brain of hers than we wouldn't be here."
"Hey" She was upset. She just watched the guy she loved tell some other girl he loved her...She was crushed!... And Freddie chose to follow her, because he loves her"
"Yes well, We will be having a word about that. There is no way my son is dating Samantha Puckett. That little bitch!"
"WATCH IT" Carly was now standing. "Sam loves Freddie and he loves her. And if you want to blame someone, blame me. I didn't stop Freddie hen he said he was going out to look for her"
Mrs. Benson looked up. "You knew he was going out there and you didn't stop him?" she was raising from her chair. Spencer stepped between them.
"Look let's calm down..." Mrs. Benson stepped around him. "He could have been killed and you let him go! And I actually thought you cared for my Freddie..."
"I do care. He's like a brother to me. And that's why I know he would have hated me if I didn't let him go. Because Sam probably would have died last night if it wasn't for him"
"So you don't care if Freddie was hurt as long as Sam's ok? Well I'm seeing a different side to you Carly Shay. Leave!" she said.
"I want to see Freddie..." she cut her off. "I don't want you anywhere near me or my son...He doesn't need you"
Spencer took Carly's shoulders and stirred her away. She was shaking from the sobs and when they stopped by the door she turned and faced him.
"I do care about Freddie..." Spencer calmed her. "Shhh I know...I know"
