Chapter 62

The next day I drove to school alone to make up a test I didn't finish. History. It gave me time to look over the notes I had copied from Rachel's so I had been confident about it. I blew through it. easily. Knowing what to schange and what to do. I handed it in finishing early. I went out into the halls.

I had my cell phone out answering a text message from Bennett. You can before school starts thats why. I was texting. I'm slow at it. Cass can crank out one in a second. I can barely write one letter in that time. But I was walking. I hit someone. They dropped something. A science expiriment. It clattered to the floor.

"Sorry-" I said. It was Dave. I knew the moment his cologne filled my nose when we made impact. It didn't register though. He just stared at me. His eyes wide and looking at me like everyone else did. Like I probably did when I walked into Bennett the first time.

"Sorry," He said softly. He went down awkwardly. I had dated this kid. He was a stranger to me. I bent down picking up all the atoms at my feet.

"Here," I said holind them out ot him. He looked at me again.

He msield a little. "Thanks," He took them. It was so awkard. I knew what Bennett meant when he said I used ot look at him like I was scared. Or I used to look scared whenever someone did. He swallowed. I stood up. "You look so different." He said quietly. "A lot has changed, huh?"

I nodded. "It has." I said firmly.

"Look, Elisa," He said. "I'm done apologizing now. And I understand how you could have cheated on me. What I did was out of line. I was a liar and an ass-"

"I know." I said. I didn't feel hate anymore. I just didn't want him in my life. I was sick of these fake two-cent apologies.

He tried to get himself together to start over again. "I meant the whole let's-be-friends thing. I want to get to know you. I feel awful, I am trying to change and I don't want to be the person that hurt you again."

I sighed. "Dave," I began. "I'm sorry, but it's not that I can't forgive you or whatever, it's jsut I want you out of my life. Period. I don't want you to keep apologizing and getting to me. You're just making things harder for me. I have changed. Because of the choice I made to break up with you. I left you for me, though. I don't care that you cheated on me. Because I cheated on you right back. I am happy now. I don't need you to ruin that."

He blinked. Then looked down. At his pathetic styrofoam molecule structure. He forced a smile. "So this is goodbye, huh?"

"Goodbye Dave." I said.

He looked at me again. No logner scared. Just looking at me. I felt one last tug in my chest. A loose end finally rippign apart from me. "Goodbye Elisa." He said evenly. And then I stepped past him. And started walking down the halls. Feeling his eyes, the ones that made my heart speed once follow me. Until I could tune them out like I did everyone else.

I went into the bathroom. And looked at myself again. I felt strong. I felt like I could do anything. All because of Bennett. But suddenly there was this strange feeling. I didn't recognize it. I swallowed a lump in my throat. Finalyl doing away with all of the bad memories this year. All I had now were good ones. Ones of me feeling happy. And sure of myself. Ones of me becomign this person. Alongside premonitions of this years end.

It was decided for me. I didn't want Bennett to go.


I went to the nurse before first period. Faking an illness; soemthing I haven't done since Kindergarden. "Are you pregnant?" She asked the moment I walked in the door complaining.

"No," I said. And in twenty minutes I was walking out the door to go home. The nurse is old and sends you home as long as you have an excuse she can't test. She sends you home if your not a regular. And she had never seen me before. And spelled my name wrong so my mother wouldn't be getting a call saying I went home sick. But when I went to the office they said I went home sick properly. And I could go.

I jsut needed to go home. Dave had gotten to em again. But I collapsed underneath it all for the last time. I drove home but my sister's jeep was parked in the driveway. My mom would find out.

"Amber," I said when I got inside.

"Elisa?" She answered. "I thought you were at school?"

I follwoed her voice into the kitchen. There was a guy, about a foot taller than her with black-rimmed glasses on and dark hair. He smiled seeing me. "So this is the infamous little sister." He said.

"Elisa," Amber said smilign at me. "This is Tyler. Tyler, Elisa."

He smiled pushing off of the counter reaching out for me to chake hands with him. I smiled back. "Hi," I said. "It's nice to meet you." In our e-mials I had read about Tyler. He was a Americna History major at her college. Hoping to be a high-school teacher. I didn't know he was tall. Or not a complete dork like Charlie seemed to be.

"Nice to meet you too." He said.

"Alright," Amber said. She was pouring apple juice into two glasses. "What's the bag? You're supposed to be at school."

Tyler leaned back agaisnt the counter taking the glass Amber handed to him and thanking her. She sipped it waiting. I sighed. "I'm sick," I said.

"With what?" She asked.

"Stomach's hurtign me a ton." I said.

"Are you pregnant?" She asked smiling a little sipping her orange juice.

"Nah," I said. I walked over to the refrigerator taking out the carton of milk and getting a glass I had missed breakfast on my way out the door. "I ran into Dave."

"Ex-boyfriend," Amber said to Tyler.

"Oh," He said nodding. "So when I'm a teacher and a teenage girl comes up to me and asks if she can go to the nurse I should ask if she ran into an ex-boyfriend?"

"Exactly!" Amber said grinning. She was happy. I poured myself some milk. Tyler was cute. And funny. She had told me about the comedic part. He was different from the rest. Amber usually ends up with assholes or morons. This guy was the opposite of any guy she's dated.

"Is the boyfriend playing hooky too?" She asked me.

I suddenly remembered Bennett. "No," I said. "He doesn't know I am."

"I'm assuming you don't want mom to know either?" She asked.

"Yes," I said. "Please."

"Okay," She said. Tyler adjusted his glasses crossing his arms. Not saying anything looking aorund at our stainless steel perfect clean kitchen.

"Did you just move here recently?" He asked.

Then suddenly Amber went silent for a quick second. "My whole life," She said lookign around.

"Everything looks so new." He said. Not noticing the look as Amber looked around. I recognized it. I was the only one who could. When my mother re-did the kitchen- and the entire house- after our father left, Amber looked around at everything with those eyes. Searching for memories of our father. The one who smiled and laughed and kissed us when we fell down and were crying. who did everything a good father should except for when he left.

"It is," I said quickly to make up for Amber's silence. "Our mother re-did it a while ago though. We barely use anything. The house is too big without Amber." I put my glass in the sink. Leaving a small flaw in our stainless steel perfect kitchen. "I'm going to go back to bed. I'm so tired."

Amber had snapped out of it at the sound of my cup hitting the bottom of the sink. She blinked. "Alright kid." She said. "We're going to go aroudn town. I won't tell mom anything."

"Okay thanks." I said. And I walked out of the kitchen. All I've known about Amber's boyfriends, if she ever did bring them home it was evident they never knew the infamous story of the day my father closed our old brown door behind him, the door that was replaced by our big black one. Bennett knew before we were much of anything.

I wondered if Tyler would ever hear the story. Of the smashed coffee cup and his car driving away. I didn't think the chance was that good. But I liked Tyler. I never liked much of Amber's boyfriends. I think Tyle is the first I hoped would have a chance in the future. She was happy though. And that's all that mattered.


Our doorbell rang, and I peaked out my window seeing his car parked in my driveway. I hurried downstairs opening the door to find him there. "Hi," I said smiling letting him in. He kissed me. His lips sweet as they touched mine for a moment.

"Hey," He said. "So, here's my story..." He was mimicking Jonah here. I smiled. "I go to school- you know. Excited to see you. And everything. Wait by your locker. You don't show up. I figure- he she'll be in English. but English was after lunch so I'll find you before lunch if I don't in the halls. I don't. Wait by your locker. Still no. Check the table. Still no. Go to English. No Elisa." He says this smiling. "By then I figure you went home or ditched. Which was very unlike you, so Ihad to make sure you hadn't died or come down with cholera or soemthing." He looked at me analyzing my eyes. "You seem fine, what's up?"

I laughed a little. "I went home sick." I said.

"What's wrong?" He asked smiling a little.

"My stomach hurt." I said. He stepped closer to me. Wrapping his arms around me. Still waiting, smiling still. My smile faded. "I ran into Dave," He opened his mouth to speak again. "For the last time. I told him to stay away. For good."

He kissed me again. "Are you okay?" He asked.

I nodded. "I jsut needed to go home. So I did." I said. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

He kissed me again quickly. "It's fine." He said. "I just thought something happened to you."

"Can I make it up to you?" I asked. Smiling agaisnt his lips.

"Yeah," He said. "You can." And he kissed me again. His lips against mine made my heart speed. I felt my stomach shaking. Butterflies the repercussion of that. I moved my hands to his neck and I did the best to make it up to him that way.


We ended up behind a red door. We were listenign to records. I was putting in CDs. And I put on his Sunday Drive one. The first record. He sat back looking at the forest green wall in front of him. "Can you believe in two weeks it's going to be the last time we're ever going to see them live?" He said. His eyes weren't even meeting mine. "Not even that, for the rest of the world, we'll be the last people to see them play live."

I shook my head. I've thought about this. "No," I said. "It's so weird."

He looked at me, a smile curving upwards on his lips. "We met over this band practically." He said. "And now we're outlasting them." I went over to him, sitting next to him agaisnt the side of his bed. He moved an arm around me and I moved closer. "I'm happy I'm seeing them with you." He kissed my forehead.

"I feel the same way." Thinking about it in he way he just put it, I was excited to see them with him. Out of everyone there's no one I'd rather see them with for the last time. I closed my eyes for a few seconds. Listening to him breathe. "It's still weird thinking about it."

He nodded. "I know."

I turned my face upwards, kissing the corner of his mouth. There was nobody I'd ever rather be with.


A/N: More reviews = more chapters... jsut saying. No, what's been delaying me is my frequent listening parties this week. I just sit and write in my journal and listen to new records. Hah. Im' a mucisal artsy dork. I know.