Chapter 67

I woke up at a more resonable time. I moved away from him to look at him. His eyes flickered open. "Sorry," I said softly. But she msiled leaning forward and kissing me. His hair was a mess and he looked exhausted. But he kissed me. His lips soft and sweet agaisnt mine. When my lips parted against his he moved away slowly. Smiling again. Touching my face.

"Goodmorning," He said softly.

I smiled a little. I was still tired. But he looked worse. The circles around his eys were still there. He kissed my forehead. His breathe warm on my skin. My legs still tangled with his. His house was silent. It didn't bother me anymore. I looked into his eyes. Glazed sweet brown color. He was more tired than I was. "I should go." I said softly.

He didn't say anything. Just moved his arms around me. His hands sliding loosely into my hair. Pulling me agaisnt him again. Tight. Not showing signs of letting go. He inhaled and exhaled. I closed my eyes. "Stay, please." He said softly. "For me."

"I will," I said. I didn't want to go. My mtoher was gone for the weekend to. She'll be home tonight. Spending all last afternoon lecturing me on resposibility and trust and maturity. I smield weakly. This was far from where she wanted me to be right now. She had been on edge since I told her about Dave and I. Not knowing what I was doing and calling the home phone- forwarded to my cell phone- even thoguh I was always too tired to answer or asleep in Bennett's arms. Now wasn't any different.

We had never discussed this. Never planned it. And never insinuated it. It just happened. And it was beautiful. My first time with Dave didn't count anymore to me.

He kissed the top of my head. Smoothing his hands across my back. Running it over the clasp of my bra. I kept my eyes open. Feeling my eyelids brush his skin. His arms were warm. They always were. We didn't say much for a while. Staying silent. "Bennett?" I whispered.

"Mmm."

I couldn't get the words out. So I just kept my mouth shut. Closing my eyes. And trying not to fall asleep again. I didn't have to sleep I was jsut tired. I understood why he had stayed up all night.


I reached for my shirt. But he came up behind me. Dressed much quicker than I was. Sliding his hands around my waist and tugging me against him. I whirled around and faced him. He leaned in and kissed me. The record still spinning silently. "Do you still think you should go?" He asked agaisnt my cheek.

"No." I said softly.

And he held me in his arms. He never wanted me to leave him ever. But it came into my mind again. He would leave me. Not me leave him anyway. I held him tighter. I never wanted him to leave me ever.

After I pulled my shirt on over my head I watched him take the record off of the record player. Sliding it back into the slim skin of it. I tugged my fingers thorugh my hair. I felt like I needed to shower. My hair was a little knotted. I kept pullling my fingers through it. He put the record back in it's place in one of his crates. I looked at the clock.

"You're not doing anything today?" He asked.

I shook my head. "I'm yours for the day I guess."

He smiled. "I'm glad practice was cancelled." He said. "What do you want to do?"

"Anything," I said. "Can I jsut have and hour to go home and change and shower first?"

He made a bad pouting face. Adn I laughed. He moved his hands around my waist, burying his face into my neck. "We could shower together." He said jokingly. I put my hands on his chest pushing him away smiling.

"No," I said. "One hour. I think we can handle that."

"I don't." He said softly. I rolled my eyes smiling. "Okay," He said. He let go of me. Grabbing his keys form the table close by. "Come on."


One hour anf fifteen minutes later we were sittign at IHOP. Not knowing anywhere else to go. We sat in the mostly empty restaurant. Drinking coffee and eating pancakes that tasted strangly sweet today and better than I ever thought they could. We heard that someone on the cooking staff retired yesterday, but somehow I knew that a staff change wasn't why.

He covered his hands with mine a lot. We were happy. A sick feeling was in the back of my head. Now these days were numbered by only one countdown. I wondered again if he knew this already. If he was thinking about this last night when he wasn't asleep. Or if I was jsut a girl in high school that will turn into Elisa-stories.

I had a feeling he'd never be Bennett Williams-stories. He'd be Bennett. Who I owed everything to.

But I still stayed aware that I was with him now. Enjoying the moments when we would just stay silent looking at each other thinking secret thoughts. Hiding them by looking away whenever someone got close to reading them- because now when I looked into his eyes I knew what he was thinking about.

We stayed longer. Nobody annoying us or pacing. Or stopped offering us coffee. We were still tired. But by now we were awake. Our eyes wide and aware of this morning turning to noon suddenly halfway thorugh. "Hey guys!" We both looked to see Jonah. He ignored the waitress and speed-walked over to our table. Sliding in next to me.

"How was the hsow last night?" He asked. He reached over towards the cups of coffee. "Which is which?"

Bennett pushed Jonah the empty one. He shrugged dumping half of Bennett's into it. hen some of mine. I exchanged a look with Bennett. "I called Paul- was with Rainie-" He looekd up raising his eyebrows up and down quickly. "But... I was driving by, saw your car. How was the show?"

"Good," Bennett said. "You missed the best show I've ever seen."

His eyebrows went up. "That good?"

"Yeah," I said. I moved my cup away from Jonah, knowing he'd down his coffee quickly and go for a refill before a waitress noticed the addition to our table.

"Damn," he said. "Stupid Sunday Drive fans. Swiped my ticket."

"You didn't even want to go until last minute." Bennett said rolling his eyes.

"Yeah, well-" Jonah looked over suddenly. "Hey, so Mike and I were listening to the demo you and PAul did acoustically. Fucking love it man. It soudns so different." He nudged me. "You got this guy wrapped around your finger, baby."

I laughed. "Thanks, Jonah." I siad. Bennett laugehd took. His hand in front of his mouth. "I haven't heard this yet."

"You have to!" Jonah said. "Next practice- fuck 'groupie free' brign her along to hear the demo. Rainie will probably be there too anyway. Paul stopped enforcing that whole-" He did air quotes "'Groupie Free' practices anyway."

"It's not even good." Bennett said. "We just ran through it with Mike's shitty demoing stuff."

"Still good tohugh." He took out his watch. "Damnit, I have to drive my sister to soccer." He jumped up. Downing the last of his coffee before saying goodbye. Leaving me and Bennett alone again.

He covered my hand with his. And didn't say anythign about what Jonah had said. I made the silent decision to go to the next band practice.

When we left we went and drove to that pond we always went to. And we played records. Avoiding the Sunday Drive ones. Stuck in a heavy denial. But he played a Dashboard Confessional one. Pulling me close to him- he kissed me. We kissed through "Hands Down" and onto the next track. I felt my heart racing. But I kept my hands in his hair. And his arms stayed jsut around me.

We understood each other I realized. We always jsut understood.