Chapter 68
I went to the practice. Sitting on the lumpy couch in Mike's garage next to Rainie. She seemed quieter. Watching Paul silently. Not distracting him as h and Bennett went about making the acosutic song into one for their band. One afternoon they spent. Taking breaks here and there so PAul and Bennett could talk things over.
Mike sat in between Rainie and me. He sighed leaning back. "God I feel like the man right now." He said. Jonah laughed out loud.
"Is this the closest you've been to girls, Mike?" Jonah asked. He sipped his energy drink.
Mike didn't care. "Aww, don't listen to him Mike." I said smiling.
"That's why you're my favorite Elisa." He said.
"What about me?" Rainei asked. She was quieter but she was still the same.
He looekd at her. "Sorry," He said. She looked at him- lettign her jaw drop which turned into a smile hitting him firmly in the rib. "Jerk!" She said smiling. "What if I would dump Paul for you?"
He dramatically looked at the ceiling considering this. He looekd at her again. "Sorry," He said. "I like a challenge."
Jonah snorted and Rainei and I laughed. Alex came back in from his car. And sat quietly on his little yellow lawn chain slightly disconnected form us. Paul and Bennett moving onto sometihng else. Not even listening to Rainie nagotiate with Mike. It didn't matter. They were into whatever they were doing.
Jonah plopped down on the couch next to me. "Hey, Eh-lisa." He said. "What's up?"
"Nothing," I said. "Just sitting here."
"Hey! Me too!"
"Cool!"
Bennett and Paul finally took a break. "Hey!" Bennett said. "Stop hitting on my girlfriend."
Jonah looked at Bennett. "At least I'm just hitting on her. Little Mikey over here's nagotiating an affair with Mrs. Spinella." Jonah reached behind my flicking Mike's head.
"Hey!" He said loudly.
He reached over trying to hit Jonah. I got off of the couch, so I wasn't hit by accident. I stood next to Bennett listening to them fight. He kissed my temple. Moving his hand to my lower back. I moved closer to him. Rainie somehow ended next to Paul. Mike pinning Jonah down on the couch. We all watched. Even Alex. From his little yellow lawn chair.
"Do you want to hear the song?" He asked me.
"Sure," I said.
He went over gettign a CD from a little case and I followed him out to his car. I sat in the passenger seat leaving the door open, my legs dangling out. He put it into his CD player, putting away The Places You Have come to Fear the Most by Dashboard Confessional back where it belonged in his glove compartment. He hit play, and adjusted the volume a little.
The chords were somewhat the same. In different keys with the same tone. They weren't the same. And it didn't make me feel the same. But it was that song. The one that I heard in a crowded auditorium for the first time. When he sang to me. I listened. Looking at him, who was watching my reaction carefully. I smiled a little looking back out at the street, his car parked in the front facing the dead end. It felt like spring. You could hear Mike and jonah yelling. And a burst of laughter- Rainie's with Paul's underneath. And it was perfect.
The song wasn't the same. But it was in a small way. It said what he meant it to say. It sounded newer. It sounded real. When it ended, I leaned over and kissed him. Pressing my lips agaisnt his. His hands moving to my face. My hands were in his hair. And we just kissed. And I closed my eyes. My lips moving along with his. He moved his hands to my wrists and held them there so when we stopped I stayed close. My legs in the car in his direction. And our faces inches apart.
I smiled. "I like it." I said.
"It's not the same." He said.
"It still is a little." I said.
Then he ran his finger on my skin. Brushing it lightly. He leaned in again kissing me. We heard a loud crash. "Rain..." It was Paul. We heard it muffled and softly, but we moved apart both looking in the direction of the garage.
He took my hand in his. "Do you still think we're not beating Rainie and Paul?" He asked.
I sighed. "No," I said. He let his shoulder sink in an overacted dissapointed reaction. "We're getting close." He kissed me again. Before we went back in. Paul kissed Rainie on her forehead as we walked in. Mike sitting behind his drums. Hitting his snare. Jonah had the heavy set of headphones on and Alex watched Bennett and I walk by.
Groupie Free Practices were finally abolished.
It was the Friday after next. The battle of the bands tihng in Natick. Leaving the guys practicing every afternoon. When I wasn't working I'd stop by. Rainie would be there. And we'd sit on a lumpy couch watching. They were really good. But I didn't go to practices for a long time. They practiced my song a lot. Gettign it down quickly. It was simple to play.
But it sounded so good. It just never was the same exact one I remember so clearly. When we're just in his room he'll play the old chords. He jsut won't sing. I'd listen. Memorizing them- so I'd never forget how it alwyas used to sound.
There were a few other kids. Bennett Williams fans who would come to hear the new band play a little and leave. They were some of his friends. They all said the same things and if they stayed for a break they'd talk to Paul and Bennett and sometimes Jonah and Mike about everything. Alex just sat on his little yellow lawn chair and watched.
School was going well. And Cass and Miles were a cheesy couple. Bennett and I were perfect. Better than that actually. We were inseperable and invincible. It just hurts a lot. Because before I was just happy. Knowing he would be going. Now I was only anticipating for the end. Falling in lvoe with him slowly and painfully. I kept it to myself. Everything. I didn't want anybody to know. Because we'd break up in June or over the summer. And I just hoped it would all go away.
I kept seeing Dave. His eyes on me as I would walk by. Or across the cafeteria. I looked away. He wouldn't go away entirly I knew that. But we were nothing now. I didn't waste all that time on him anymore it felt. It seem centuries ago. And I had everything I had once thoguht I had and more than I ever expected.
I know the universe will end the way it should be. I can't change anything.
